My Dear Snyegi,

Do not think for one moment that I have forgotten You, for that is not the case. I always think of You. You are important to me.

As I type this words into You, a bit rushed, a with aprehensive as the environment at the office hasn't been the best for... anything, I can't keep thinking about the reasons we, journal-writers (for I can call us "journalists") sometimes take it to write to oour beloved Journals as if we were composing a letter. It comes to my mind that perhaps we seek to create something in You that... is not there.

Not everybody write into their journals the same way. I have no experience reading the journals of others, for the only "real journals", so to call them (all those not Internet-published, and therefore meant to be private) I've ever read had been my own (duh) and famous journals such as Anne Frank's. Then, of course, the novels written in this fashion, such as "Werther" (which made me cry) and "Asta's Book". Most likely, I have read more but I would never be able to tell so.

Once I gave as Birthday present for a girlfriend of mine the published journals of Anaïs Nin. Kinda regret now not having kept the book to myself. I have never read a thing of Anaïs Nin, but she... triggers me. That book was a collection not only of some of her journal's entries, but it had as well letters she wrote to friends and lovers... and I guess also some replies.

When it comes to journals, or diaries of whatever you wish to call them, some people approach them as some kind of historical sense, whixh sometimes strikes me odd. People can't possibly believe that they are so important that people in the future will die to know that: Today at breakfast I had an orange juice and a bowl of healthy, organic, muesli. Or people go recording in their journals the news.

...

Sept. 11, 2001

Today, two hijacked (planes are hijacked?) United Airlines planes crashed against the Twin Towers.

... Get real. Like there's not enough on that on all the newspapers and news broadcasting agencies. Some people, historians and investigators say that actually these records help them understand the personal impact of historical events on the lives of common people.

I believe, yet, that journals, either published or private, show something about the people, something deeper and richer that what some historical events can tell.

Regarding the way one addresses his/her journal, I don't know what to say about the people who just plain writes down things... though I do that in my "real journal"... but I belive that those who address their journals with names or any "address", and compose their entries like a letter, is because they wish to say all these things to someone, share their thoughts, but can't find the right person to do it, the person with whom they could go and speak things in the "written manner", which is so different from the "spoken manner". Not like many would know that these days.

I wonder then if we are lonely, or ... the worst: we wish for someone who doesn't bother us, who exists only to listen to us. I wonder if it is the ultimate way to show how "control-addicted" some of us are.

I started reading a book from Anne Rice. (Yes, not Nin, since as I've told you earlier, I do not have at hand any Nin material.) It's (obviously) one of the books I inherited from my friend Roo when she moved to California. It's the "Blood and Gold" one. I haven't even finished "The Queen of the Damned" (since when I was reading it in Spanish it seemed to me to be beyond abhorrent, plus finishing with "Lestat, The Vampire" and the "Claiming of the Beauty" trilogy pretty much exhausted my patience with her story-in-story-in-story-in-story-(Lim tends to the infinite) patterns), and I guess there is an order to read the books... but I'm just not about it. Another friend, Hokuto has asked me to write her a fanfic with Marius and Armand in this book, so I'm reading for research. However, the book is quite good.

I hope Skylar can make it to lunch today, so I can spend my 45 minutes reading!!

The Foley case has me going on and on.

I have a new idea of a story. The story is the oldest story in the book, and I have seen it portrayed several times in all kinds of gay literature books (some better, some worst), and it also has been the topic of several yaoi mangas and animes. And look, you can even see this plot in real life!

I guess that a writer who wishes to touch this topic, has to give something to it. What? Well, either a twist in the plot, or play very well the characterization of the subjects. In no case, a writer should do what this Chris Kent folk does: quickly scribble up a story and then add sex scenes that are ALL the same. Sorry they are, and the core fo these copy-pasted scenes is: boy on top of man. No variation ever. Okay, maybe one or two times the man gets on top of the child (which is the contrary of what you can see in Japanese yaoi... or what you know of the Ancient Greek traditions), but I'm not sticking around to find out.

Usually I'm quite open to accept the wicked kinks of people. I mean, for crying out loud, I have a friend who LOOOOOVES what I can only call "extreme pedophilia". I have written stories for her. I thought at one time that I could find her "freaking point", and so I wrote for her birthday an incest story between a father and his less-than-6-months-old-boy. It was hard to write, I won't lie to you. I kept it short and had to foccus always on the father and pretend that the kid was... much older, but I did it. I hoped, when I sent her the story, that she would reply: "This was it, I don't want to see an underage for a while." I would have felt my mission accomplished, but instead the reply was: "I loved it!! So HOT!!! Can you make it YOUNGER for next year?".... O_O

Okay, so, when you have a friend who loves boys under .... 6, and suddenly you hear about a Representative of 50-something teasing 16 year old boys, well you think: "That guy should really get his head out of the mangas, but other than that... what's the big deal". However the MEDIA acts differently, the society acts differently and there's FUSS about it? And people make a whole war out of who new what and when and why the hell they didn's say something earlier... Well, kids over 16, or even over 14-15, depending on their sexual maturity, are already having sex, or at least thinking of it constantly. Most of them, IF their families and school provide them with the proper education, know what goes on with sex.

I am not justifying this man: hey, he likes children, well, much his problem. I think he was majorly stupid for "hunting" where he works. If he was told to stop, he should have.

Okay, okay, we all get scolded at the office for doing things we are not supposed to do at the office, but it's not the same to be scolded for trying to score underage boys, when you are a lawyer and you KNOW that you could be prosecuted for that, no matter how much you try to mask it as a friendly chat; and being scolded for eating in your cubicle, or being caught reading Anne Rice books or chatting in office hours. Get my point?

On the other hand, Mr. Foley is not the sole sinner of the House, and anyone with a logical mind can see it. I bet there's a lot of Congressmen and Representatives and all you want working in power positions scoring ANYTHING that moves: pages, either male or female, workers, clerks, chewing gum selling people, the children of their workmates... and who knows? Some might be paying hookers and transvestites too, or having fun paying some to rought them up a little bit. No police complain files because they are "politicians". I'm not saying someone is doing this, but I'm certainly saying that several things might be happening that even my quite fertile imagination can grasp, BUT suddenly people ONLY concentrate in the ESCAPE-GOAT at hand: Mr. Mark Foley.

... The oldest story in the book. Let's see what can I do out of it.

Wish me luck.


~ Buranaberry