Perhaps that's also why the flu came down on me so bad. Or maybe it wasn't as much as "bad" as it was "inutilizing". Does that word exist? Because that's what happened to me: I was "neutralized", made unable to work all Friday night and all Saturday. It tortured me that I couldn't do any work to get ahead with it and finish the report on time. Specially because add to it, I still have a Memo to answer, which hasn't been reviewed by my dear boss, who really should consider give me only as much work as he can follow in time. Why does he want me to write so many reports when he can't read them? Oh, and that request of "more comprehensive executive summaries" like it is not covering the "I really want to see a big report, but since there's not a single soul here who would read the entire things, because, really, everybody working here is a major lazy ass, we would need all this 40-page analysis summarized in a page... WITH BULLETS." I no wanna tell you which bullets I would use to make it sink.Anyway, 50% of the job still managed to get done, now I need the entire information flowing in tomorrow so I can compile a decent report instead of the half assed shit it could end up being but which is "okay" because "it's just so we give something to the boss".
Someone said once that I had a sucky luck because I always had bad bosses. I beg to differ. I have "sucky bosses" because I work for the Government, where everybody with some power needs to suck ass big time or they will lose their position, and since smost people is too in love with "power" and "hierarchy", they give up everything, even their shame and ethics in order to keep whatever little piece of their chieftenship. It is truly disappointing. Why do I have "sucky bosses"? Because all bosses I have mer so far are incompetent, uninterested and dishonest enough to fill a position for which they are not prepared.
Oh well, I'll do my job, will be good at it and then...
It is hard to be the only thinking person around.
People act without thinking these days. Roo comes here pretending everything will be fine and dandy without giving us enough time to prepare for the trip. I hope she has her own plans because there's only so much we can do to fit her. However, I'm starting to have my doubts about her going with me to Hungary in December. This has to be planned months ahead or we won't have space in the plane, nor space in the hotels. Add to it, we have to squeeze four countries in three weeks, and that's a whole lot and a whole lot of planning, and making reservations. Ain't easy. We have grown apart and now I don't feeli like I can relay on her like I used to. She's also too hurting for my taste and though back then it would slide off me, now it shocks me the way she says things and throw insults freely around with no-base judgement, just her own fucked up conceptions of life. Dude, that's harsh and people owe to feel offended by it.
Gojira... damned, is he still my friend? He's so far away and his thoughts, the things he scribbles up in the messages of his multiple messanger motors revolt me. When has he become a pile of corny "thoughts"? "There's not "love" but his female friends are his blessing and all the love he needs until one of his female friends decide to see something more in him"? Is there the extended version to say "I'm a loser horndog waiting for a pity fuck"? How low can people fall? I love him, but what do I love about him? I love the real him or do I love only the last image I have of him, probably a fake one about a guy raising above the shit he had been sunk in and making someone of himself? I know who I love and what he looks like, but does he live only in my head or also outside of it?
The world if full with disappointing people, like Kati, the latest girlfriend of my friend Jules. Boy, if she's some disappointing, sneaking, lying bitch...
No comments:
Post a Comment