One For Independence and Freedom

Unlike it happens in every Aaron Spellingish story, life is not a series of seasons of perfect coincidence. Not everybody falls in love at the same time and breaks at the same time, or lives the "I'm so bored of this fucker that insists in sleeping in MY bed" period at the same time. So it happens that, yeah, I'm in love, and walking around in Cloud No.9, all goofy and giggly, while some of my friends are dragging the "ball and chain" pitifully, and others have "recently regained their freedom". Yes, I've heard that marriage is the only life sentence where you can get parole or your sentence reduced based on bad behavior. And well, yeah, it's not our fault to fall for a trick, or to realize that Prince Charming has a "daytime job" as a Major Son of a Whore, and man, the motherfucker does an EXCELLENT job at it! Ain't our fault if our Knight in Shinny Armor turns out to be a boring asshole that couldn't be motivated to do anything productive or fun, not even if we fall on our knees and suck him until our jaws pop out of place. Ain't our fault if he's grumpy, if he's uninterested, if he has a wondering eye, if he looses his job, if he's too much into his job, if some ball game is more important to him that the whole household and the relationship or if he feels the compulsive need to pick your clothes and do your make up for you (probably he's gay and that's his way to crossdress without crossdressing).

Now, it is our fault when we take it and let it go on. You, "ball and chain" kinds, I'm talking to you. If it feels bad, cut it off, motherfucker! Shit, you go to the doctor with something hurts so it gets better, take a pill for the headache and so, so why don't you do something about that pain in the ass you call "husband", "wife", "boyfriend", "girlfriend" or "you asshole", "you bitch"? Just like an amputation, it might hurt at first, and you may have the feeling of the "limb" still there, but it gets better, and above all, you get to LIVE, so do it! Now it's time to do it! Grant yourself freedom! Break the chain and breath the air like a free man or woman!

Being "alone", or "single" ain't a bad thing, but actually a great thing and one of the few great pleasures of life. However, first of all, you must stop listening to the choir of "wise wives" and all kinds of tradition-keeping assholes that will try to get you into ANY kind of relationship ending in MARRIAGE so that you can be as sour and disgraceful as they are. Yes, marriage is an institution, and so is JAIL (or at least I believe it is, but if jail is not an institution, sure the looney house is!). Singlehood is not an institution because single people do not NEED to add status to their status. Singlehood is as much an institution as Freedom, Independence and Individuality are. More than an institution, it is a Principle: The Principle of Men.

A single is not "lonely" and therefore "unhappy" and "flawed because evidently nobody wants him or her", but rather a free individual who has all the choices in the world. A single person is someone with the innate hability to enjoy his or her own company, laugh, do whatever he or she desires not having to arrange decisions with nobody else. Yes, you see the problem? The power over the SELF gathered entirely WITHIN the self. What's that thing of someone making decisions for its own and procuring its own happiness and ACTUALLY succeeding? Society, out traditional, retrograd society DEMANDS of each of its individuals to put their happiness, their hopes and their future always on the shoulders of someone else, while taking the BURDEN of arranging other people's happiness, hopes and future. Single people get to be happy by their own means, and they do all they want. No more conditioning trips and programs to what the other one might want or the time and budget of the other one. You want to see a movie, and you have the time and the money, then YOU go. No negotiating for hours and then having to commit to see some shit you hate, or having to give it up because your partner doesn't want to go see a "chickflick" or "that movie because it holds no interest to me".

You wanna go see Saw IV in the middle of the night, you go. You wanna see Body of Lies, you go see Body of Lies. You will never see Wall-E, you skip Wall-E. Single life is about you deciding what you want to do and no one having a say. It's a perfect dictatorship, and no need for elections or referendum over diner or vacations. Furthermore, singlehood has many, many other advantages. Your friends are your friends and you see them when you want and as often as you want and go where you want and do what you want. Sex is free, like a buffet: you take anything you desire. Add to it, and everybody knows this and does this: single people can afford the luxury of "going beyond friendship" with their friends. A kiss, a caress, sex... you name it. Freedom grants you all your desires.

Do you still want to get married? Do you still feel that you rather stay in the ball and chain? Do you still think "it was better with him"? Honey, if it feel like you are giving up all this, then it's wrong. The only time when it's okay not to enjoy these gifts of life are when you feel you don't need them, or when the excitement of chosing something together adds more buzzing to the relationship. BUT if you feel your freedom being cut, I plead you: give yourself parole.

Yes, I am happy with Kari, my mate and my One, and he does feel to me like my One, my soulmate and my other half. However, I still fight fiercely for the right of everybody, men and women, to remain single and be respected for that. I remember fondly my singlehood, and yet oddly I don't feel it gone, even though I am no longer single. Remember that singlehood is the flag and the sign of freedom, so if you chose to take it, or if you have been as lucky as to recently regain it, please, for all of us that are no longer single, wear it with pride, live it fully and make us all look up to it as the individual materialization of the one thing that has sent nations into fight and has made men for centuries to dream about: Freedom and Independence.

Singles all around the world, I salute you respectfully!