The Amazing(ly) (STUPID) Race

Do you know the feeling, you know, that feeling you get when you see someone you don't like that much appear in the office? You know, that coworker you politely try to avoid as much as you can, to whom you smile forced smiles, and sometimes you don't realize you are force-smiling until your jaw and cheeks start hurting from the sustained effort? That person you rather not see, the one that makes you happy when it's not around, with whom you celebrate each seminar and each trip to wherever, regardless of the fact that that person will be the one not attenting to the office, getting the free lunch, going home early, just because during all those days you won't see him or her. That person that can ruin a perfect day just by popping up in the Messenger, even if he or she says nothing. The names for them are many. The "Pega", the "olaguaguais", the "Idiot", the "Princess Bride", the "Ms. No", the "Reject", the "Crazy", the "Satanic Priestess", the "Mr. Graveyard", the "Meanie", the "Miss Universe" (Yeah, in the Planet of the Apes! Also known as "Miss Ape-Universe"), the "Evil Panda", the "Mojo-Jojo", the "Magin-Boo" and so on.

You know the "concept", right? I bet many of you are smirking or frowning while the evil picture of your very own, personal annoyment comes to your mind.

Though I have a nice lil' collection of "Life Annoyment Individuals", today I was bothered by the mere existence of one to them, my Miss Meanie. Thanks Hyne she hasn't greeted me yet, and hopefully nor she will, though I can already picture her reaction the first time she sees me: "Hey, Dumbass! Why haven't you come to greet me? Have you seen my new dress? Oh, ahh, don't I look sexy? I'm so hot. (licks her lips and grabs herself in ways I'm fairly sure whores on the street wouldn't.)"

Call me coward, but I'm doing every single trick in the book to postpone this moment as much as I can. I mean, if I can pull it all the way up to December 18th, when I'm leaving for Hungary, man, I'll be one happy and grateful woman.

Now, I don't know about your personal annoyers, but I can tell you about my recent ones, that often they believe themselves to be "The Shit", or put in other words "The Flying Cookie". Some of them are or have been bosses, some of them climb the corporative ladder in a fashion similar to Tarzan jumping from liana to liana, and some, when lacking all of them, pretend to have this amazing knowledge, often backed up with a flashy MBA, or MSc, or MAP, or MARE or the Hell know what other masters degree they may want to come up with.

I don't know, honest, what's like in other countries, but in here the very degree of "master in-you-name-it" is often seen as a joke. A title that used to be seen as a Post-Grad degree of high value, soon became the tool of managers, and like everything managers touch, it became crap. Currently, you can skip the last year of University, the one that takes you from your college or bachelor degree to the full University degree, to a masters simply by paying. Yep, you read me right. Then, if you take five minutes to check the curriculae of the masters study plan, most of the classes are classes from pre-law, pre-economics, pre-you-name-it. Reason? You actually don't need to be a Business Administration or an Economics graduate to get the masters, you just need the money.

The cases, very real and widely known cases of the manager making his or her assistant or secretary do the homework are not isolated, degenerating to the point where three letters before or after one's name spell "Money Spending Crap" instead of "Master of Science". It's funny how this way a step forward in one's education becomes something of a mindless game, where you enroll, pay an "investment" amount, complete or have completed for you a series of tasks that really give you nothing, mean nothing, so you can later on brag with three letters and, hopefully, a thicker paycheck. Exactly like in tv shows like "The Amazing Race", where you do an ass of yourself for an end result that have nothing to do with the process. I guess, and I must believe that there are good masters programs, but all the crappy ones that flood the market have made sure to turn them into something as cheap and common as Chinese products.

Then, they devaluate even further when you see the Annoying Individuals showing of their Annoying Individual, MBA. It certainly chases you to the point where you avoid the title like the pest. It's even worse if you actually have a masters or if someone you know and love has one, because then it's not like you can separate Annoying Individuals from cool people based on their degree. I guess life ain't just that simple. And after all, there's no real correlation between masters degrees and annoying people (and even if it were, correlation doesn't imply causality). However there's something that links them both, to a certain level.

If you pay close attention, just like annoying people, different degrees and careers don't really have to be half assed and mediocre, but they are somewhat made into this as a way to make them more "accesible", more "appealing". Both of them, loose degrees and annoying people are a representation of a new value rising among mankind: the displacement of hard work by easy solutions. Just think about it: masters degrees are becoming a "no sweat, just pay" solution for status that should really be attained through hard work, and annoying people are actually annoying because often they seek other paths, to get where they want to be, other than decent, honest hard work.

I find them both unspeakable, to the point that I'll see how can I get from a University degree to a PhD without stopping on an MSc, but if there's no way, I'll make sure to hide it. And also, to the point of scurrying from my office, making sure The Meanie won't see me and cross my fingers and hope against hope that I can make it to December 18th without encountering her.