There was an e-mail from Political Voice of Women in my mailbox. I haven't kept in touch with them, nor have I been checking the site, which is why I'm not sure about the trail this mail has, the direction and all, but it got me thinking. The e-mail had a link to an entry in the blog Can I Just Tell You, by Michel Martin titled No, We're Not Going to Sit Down and Shut Up. It makes reference to yet another piece where she and her colleague, Cokie Roberts talk about the role or position of women in the political sphere and how these women are still to this day subjected to demeaning comments. Two "gentlemen" were kind enough to provide them with evidence of such comments and attitude towards women who step into the political arena.
Her words, not unknown for me, as I'm sure they are not unknown for any woman who has ever stepped up to the places "that are not for women", made me think about other fights, and how often our worse enemies are among our ranks. As women, we are getting used to work, struggle and hardly take a moment to rest. We may cry here and there, maybe more often that our male counterparts, but we keep pushing and pulling and never give up. That's just us, and that's why I believe we keep pushing, encouraging each other even when there are men out there wooing us and catcalling us, treating us as mere sexual objects wishing for nothing but a good ramble; and even despise the women that support such a vision and play to it, feeding further that idea that we are simply natural born whores.
Truth is that booking every men under the lable of "enemy" would be unfair, as many support us, many believe in us, but also because women themselves can also be our enemies, our worse counterparts in this fight for full equality, not only in the eyes of the Law, but also in the eyes of our Societies, our Jobs and our Families, as well as in our own eyes.
I would talk about this case I know, but since everybody knows cases like this, I would simply make mention of them: the women that use their sexuality to climb in life. If you think about it, you probably can at least mention the name of three women who have gotten their position by becoming the woman of some top head. The revealing dress, the tight, short skirt, the laugher... and not like those make them, but what they make of them, how they use the garments and the attitudes. Those unafraid of offering sex for a higher paycheck, a hierarchic position, business trips outside the country to attractive destinations, and so on. Perhaps you even know cases of women that have gotten their Superior Education Degree also through sleeping with the Principal or several of the teachers.
Cases like that simply make me sad, specially when I see women work hard, suffer much more than men, some struggling with putting kids to school, getting home to fix lunches and help with homeworks, and not to mention those that have no kids but still gara get home to fix dinner and do the chores. There are then those also that have to do neither (usually those who can afford a maid, or live alone and can't care less about how crazy their home look like), but still gara put up a fight at the office to be taken in consideration. Women are the ones more often expected and noted by their superiors or people encharge of the "professional appearance" about the kind of pants they are using, the kind of shoes, about how long and what shape must the skirt have, or even if they have not put on enough make up to look "as expected". Honestly, I would like to see the day when putting make up is no longer an expectation for women, and that getting wrinkles and grey hair is no longer something to be ashamed of. I believe that we could walk to a society where our bosses do not expect us to use high heels, and feel entitled to ban us from wearing pants just because they don't like it. But then even though clothing and personal care are close boudaries where we are being attacked, that must also be conquered, there are other fights we must concentrate on, and many of them must be fought against our own sisters.
We must erradicate the idea that climbing through sex is a valid way to go. This is the kind of behavior, practiced by some women, and accepted, even rewarded by some men, that grow then the space for comments such as asking whether someone would conduct an interview with Ms. Sarah Palin while she's sitting on his lap. I'm not saying that all women, or any woman at all, should go asexual, but we must, as a gender, as a group that makes up for a good portion of the global population, teach our surroundings that our job has nothing to do with our sexuality. Our sexuality has to do with the people we want to have sex with, consensually, by our own free will, and that our job should concentrate on our skills, as professionals, as people. This teaching must come from our daily behavior, the way we relate to our surroundings, to ourselves, to others, and it must also come from our principles.
I'm a woman, but I do not want to be treated differently because of that. I don't want to be treated worse than my fellow male counterparts because being a woman does not give anyone an excuse to mistreat me. I'm a person like anyone else, man or woman, and I don't deserve being mistreated, just like no one else deserves it. I don't want to be treated better either just because I'm a woman, I'm not useless, I don't need favors, and I can do it just like anyone else.
Yes, women have special needs, like time to spend with their kids after having them. Men don't get pregnant, nor they have to take care of babies, breast feed them, and so. These are not "favors" we are asking, these are things that come along with being a woman, and things that must be ensured for the good of society. Pushing this in our faces and say that we are unreliable because "we get pregnant any moment" is irresponsible.
Cases such as maternity leaves must be defended and cut from the fight, the fight that puts maternity in the same bag of "women are all about sex", and "women are not for the workplace". We are not sex slaves, we are not whores, we are strong fighters and we must keep on doing, firmly separating from us those cases that take the easy way, the no-work way that undermine our path, and so teach those men that see us as meet on a hook that we are people, and we deserve the same respect anyone does. We must teach, through example, that being a woman doesn't make us less person.
No comments:
Post a Comment