Love, love, love

 

Source: Hola!

One of the most complicated journeys I'm embarking in this year, is a journey of love. This journey is more about making connections and allowing myself to get in a relationship with someone, extend trust to someone else and get out of my shell, try not to be so judgy, and give it a chance. Yes, I mean exactly that: give a chance to love.

This year I started seeing a psychologist with the intention of working on my shadow, as you know (I think I wrote about this last year), and as part of my process, I want to understand the way I develop relationships with others, and also, learn to learn from them, be more tolerant (and not just cast out every single partner I have under the umbrella lable of "gods! they are just so stupid!"), and also learn to be participant in a relationship in a way that really adds to the relationship.

With my psychologist I'm learning that is also part of working on yourself, to work on your relationships with others. Yes, it would be so much easier if I could do all my work solo - because I am such a delight to work with! - but then there's what I do and who I am and how I react when I'm with others. And I think I can be really mean to people in my romantic relationships. 

Yesterday I went for an extended coffee with a friend who has recently married their partner of 10 years. Their relationship has been very traditional, and so, now that they are living together, a lot of issues surface that seem quite astonishing to me. Astonishing mostly because these are things that are usually ironed out slowly, in time, in today's relationships, where people start living together slowly, spending a night, then a weekend, then a couple of days, a couple of weeks together, until they finally decide to move in together for good, and then, after some years of this, decide whether they want to get married.

In their relationship and their new troubles I found an interesting window on also how relationships work when there are changes and how love can or can't carry you over them. This has also inspired me to pack my travelbag for this journey of love, to remember that sometimes it might be worth remaining on a given path even if I find little annoyances that can be worked over. It's not going to be a short journey, I'm sure of it, but it will be one worth making.