Oddities

today's blog is dedicated to my dearest friends:
Sandra, Roo, Laura, Carrie, Katty, Mario, Ana, Gyula, András, Mile, Andrey, Edwin, Cyn, César, Víctor G, Víctor Ch, Hans, Gabs, Mark, Sprizouse, Sonia, Skylar, Yiyo, Li, Fran, Vielka, María Julia, Gis, Adry and my family.

I love you all, please never, never forget that.

I'm tempted to start calling my journal and blogs "bitch-othèque" or maybe a bit less "slangish", "complain-othèque". Why? Well, they are becoming a collection of all my complains and all the fume I have to steam out from time to time. Up to some weeks ago my complaining usually moved on the circles of : "WORK" (this being my main topic of complain, and will continue to be until people here smarten up and develop some sense of "shame" that will force them to quit the jobs for which they are so unadequate and let those who do know how to do things, do things.) and "Friends", a general cathegory where from time to time a head popped up and I would make a nasty remark like: "dude, mind your words" or "come on bitch, just pay some fucking attention every now and then to what you are doing!", peppered around with soft comments like "hey, you missed Halloween by 6 months! what the fuck are you wearing?" and "no, you are not Giorgo Armani, you can't invent fashion... and not even him would dare to put up that RAG for any other thing than car-polishing!". Of course, there's the trademark "world, social and economics bitching", where I lift an article from a paper, which no one has read but me, and unload a few scattered thought about the subject onto you, but that's pretty much bitching as well. There's eventual psedo-philosophy, "philosophy" and "mothering", which is something you should thank to my biological clock. Yes, I was build with one of those, and it's shrieking inside me like a bitch! (Does anyone knows how to turn it down?)

Since I have been (rightfully) bitching about work quite sometime now, I'll keep it out of today's entry (besides I just spit my daily share on Hókisasszony). One thing that hasn't happened since the tragic days of "Get As Far As You Can From The Whore", is when a particular someone raises up among the lines of the "Friend" category to get a category for themselves. I've got one of those not too long ago. Man, they can be annoying! This... "friend" is as tremendously anoying and as problematic, unethical and unbelievable as the former U.S. A.G Alberto Gonzales. Do you remember that one? Sure you do. I know I do, because I hated his guts with passion. Well, when it came to bitching about him, it was no longer a generic tab of "politics" or "justice", not even "Attorney General", but "Alberto 'No-Shame' Gonzales". Mr. Gonzales was spineless and was best known for the worse human feature I can think of, a terrible character flaw: "loyalty to people". But not "people" as, fuck you are loyal to your people, your nation, your etnicity, your social, national, religious, whateverous group. No, he was loyal to a person: Mr. Bush, and that loyalty was his doom, because he never thought for himself, he never questioned, he never put his own mind to work, he never moved a finger by his own conviction, but everything went on because his "boss" told him to do this or that. Ask why? Nooooooo! What for? Daddy Bush would keep him from harm. You know, this kind of behavior has a name. Well, actually PEOPLE behaving like that have a name. They are called SLAVES. That that's a way to guarantee survival? For a Latinamerican it is a SHAME to choose slavery when one famous quote is taught to us from México to Argentina:

"Es mejor morir de pie que vivir de rodillas." (It is better to die on your feet that live on your knees.) Emiliano Zapata

So, does any Latinamerican has the right to choose slavery? Does any Latinamerican has the FACE to live like a vermin? But this isn't about A. Gonzales only. Oh no, for I have had the misfortune of knowing so many people who are just like this man. The Whore and the Corpse were (and still are, I believe) such low class people, that they couldn't function by themselves. They literally lived out of their friends. They took from them to support their financial lives, their social lives and also to ground their images of self. A lot can be said of these human wrecks, which I won't go on repeating now, since it's entirely pointless. However, after I was happy knowing them behind me, and I also managed recently to shake off my tail some annoying "girls" who also wanted desperately to live my life, and not by them, but they wanted every one of my experiences so they could "live them" because, really, they were both so "life-challenged" and so handicapped to ACTUALLY make an existence for themselves, they took on the best thing they could find... and I was the one awarded with such dubious honor (they were like little, virtual version of the whore, who ditto-me). I, however, sensed the presence of "rotten apples" in my friend basket. And indeed I had a nasty chunck of decomposed thing. My friend? Started like a friend, but quickly slid lower. Mistake one? Masking of self. Yo, if you are ok, why do you need to hide yourself? If you are what you say you are, why do you hide your self (or lack of it) from others? Not like it matters, I'm a scientist, and research is what I do. So I did my homework and got some interesting data, which allowed me to place things in perspective. My hypothesis (since I still don't have enough data, and have not made the necessary experiments, though I1m working on them) is that this is also a corpse-whore. Holy fuck! why do I always run into the wrong people? Oh well, what to do? The usual: smile and take a step back. Smile, smile and slowly walk away. Have been doing it. Does R.A. (rotten apple) know? Oh sure! That what keeps it so upset all the time. Bonkers! Another friend going away! Must be terrible.

I've been wondering whether some people do read my posts or not. Why? Well, if you watch carefully, my latest post was about how TACKY I find quota-parties. That was posted on the 22nd. Little after I received YET ANOTHER invitation for a quota-party, and this one is really some low-profile, low-scale, homemade, nothing special about it at all, "improvised" almost. How much is the quota? Oh, the amount hasn't been disclosed yet.

This kind of parties upset me terribly because I can't shake off the feeling that people make this kind of parties to profit. They spend X, charge X+Y or even 3X and keep the rest. Dude, if they can't support themselves, they shouldn't be throwing parties or making their friends and family pay for their unability to get a living. Get a better job, cut expenses, live rationally, get real with your life, spend only on what you can afford. Thsi attitude is so A. Gonzales: "my friends are there to help me out". No dude, like I said recently, friendship doesn't cover immaturity, financial, social or psychological problems. Each person should take care of their own problems and issues, and bitching about how "real friends" have to be "there to help you in need", that "allegedly" you give everything for them and you "expect them" to give you the same. Dude, you don't know what friends are, nor you have any.

This kind of people tend to "have a lot of friends", like the kind that keeps a profile on hi5, Facebook, myspace or any other social network and live to push the number up. Talks about "how many friends" they "have", what a great social life they have... and oddly have an interesting tendency towards pulling people into their nest. What do I mean? Friends go to their house or their office or that place they pic each time. Sure they go to their friends' place too, when within range, and actually demand to be invited and hosted, but their general set of mind goes around their comfort and the need to feel that they "control" their friends: they can make them leave their homes and offices, give up their favorite spaces in order to accomodate them. These people also tend to regard their friends as their "family", yet usually their relationship with their real family is dysfunctional to say the least. So, they have no real sense of "family", and consider "financial and emotional spoiling" as the role of the family. Yes, spoil not support. For them "family" is their mean to live and exist, the source from which they can take the kind of life they want for themselves, no effort from their part made, since they want to think they "deserve it". They don't think by themselves that they do, but they want others to think they do. Of course, there are psychotic cases where the convince themselves that they do deserve to be paid for by others and demand it.

You may ask: why don't they get a job and make a living for themselves? Well, they don't because deep down they are convinced that they can't do it by themselves. So either they remain unemployed, or are unable to keep a job long enough, are unable to study a career, and even if they do, they make sure it doesn't work. They make sure they have to resource to their friends. The logic is simple: they are unable to love themselves, so they need to feel loved by the others, and the more people love them, and the more people love them, the "better" they feel, the more they can ignore the fact that they don't love themselves. But how to measure "love" for those who don't know love? By external signs, and usually things like "money given or spent on them" or "number of affirmative answers to their stuff", "number of cases of agreement on arguments" are the "tokens of love" they collect. If you don't give them money or don't buy them what they want, you don't love them. If you don't pay for them, you don't love them. If you don't agree with them on every single thing, you don't love them. Funny thing is that you may have started feeling love for them or at least care, but this constant demanding of stuff, the temper tantrums and childish, immature behavior simply spoils the whole thing and ends up tearing you appart from them.

I won't go detailing the loads of crap I've been fed by my so called friends, some of wish defy the laws of reason far beyond kafkan proportions. But what is friendship really about? Each friendship is different, but basically friendship is loving someone, be concerned about that person and have the trust and the freedom to be real. Friends are the marvelous people who knows you for who you are, and they may not agree with you, and may get into your hair and bitch about some things you do, but they are with you and accept you as you are, and love you for who you are, and may not buy you anything for your birthday, may even forget it, but still smile at you and hug you (if they are that physical) when in October they realize you turned 30 in April. They may not answer all your SMS but be glad you succeeded on that test you were taking for the fifth time. They may hate your dog and even tell you so, but wouldn't mind sharing a drink, a cookie, a movie, a t-shirt with you. They may not know which is your favorite color, but they feel free to tell you that they hate the one you like, and do it with a smile, which you share.

A friend is someone who shares feelings with you, maybe not about your life but about the relationship between the two of you, and smiles honestly at you.

And about those others, why do we keep up with them?

O_O

Haven't you heard? We don't. Friendships can be broken, finished, ended, terminated. ^_^ That's the best thing of it! Yeah, you don't actually have to keep carrying with a drag! And good thing is that, if you don't want a big scene (which in the case of these "friends" is a very real possibility), then you just slide, slide, slide away... ^_^

P.D.: don't tell me you feel cheated for the "Nuke smooching" picture!?