About the Blogging

More and more my entries are becoming something of a recount of my day, which is something I don't really like to do. Why to make a journal or a blog into a "personal newspaper"? It is my believe that blogs and journals should usually be a collection of thoughts, and not a collection of events, even though events can be fascinating as well. It is interesting also to notice that events actually can be the triggers of many thoughts, but events alone are too plain, too boring to even bother to type them down.

Events such as my mother in law making a comment about how my boyfriend is good for cleaning and picking up things, but not for cooking made me think about the familiar relationships and what parents should do with kids. Here is also where I remember Julie and the way she's bringing up her son, and I smile as I think of the wonderful and creative, free way, Justin is growing up, and it makes me think that perhaps is a way for children not to be mangled emotionally by their parents.

Today psichologues talk about how family relationships, particularly parents can scar their children and diminish their potential as human beings branding the way they relate to others and to themselves as well. Love too much, love too little... but what is loving too much? There's no such thing. Love shall not be confused with "doing everything for", or "spoiling". Love is love and love is freedom and happiness. Parents often have no idea about how impressionable kids can be, and how sensible people remain through their lives to what their parents have to say, or what they do. Parents are important to us because usually they are the first people we get to know and in many cases the ones with whom we stay most of the time.

Parents often fall into the mistake of doing their best to live their kids' lives and say it's for their own good. This is how parents feel entitled to chose their career, their friends, their clothes, or perhaps not so drastically, but at least often they say something like "you are not good for this". Not only my mother in law's "comment" about my boyfriend's cooking skills (and I tell you, I really believe I've a potential Iron Chef Hungary in my kitchen! He's just so talented!), but also other mothers that don't let their kids help in the kitchen because they are "not good enough", or do their homework for them because "you are just too clumsy" and so on.  I believe that people, parents particularly, should remember that some things take practice to improve, to get the technique right. Home is not like the office, where the "practice time" is over and you have to do things right from the first time. Home is a world of opportunities, just like school: you don't have to get it right from the first moment, you just have to have the spirit, the wish to do it, and the discipline to keep doing it.

If I had kids and one of them were to tell me that he or she wants to be become a pilot, even if my baby had some kind of impediment, like bad sight, or not good aim or something bigger, or simply not enough attention capacity, I, as the mom, should never tell them that they can't because this or that, but say "go ahead! I believe you can fly!". But often, simply because you feel you can't do something, or because you feel menaced somehow, you trample those who place a great value on your words. We fear for them and so we stop them, when we should stand by their side and cheer them in their dreams. How far could kids and people go, if we gave them what they need?

Everybody can fly, we just have to believe.