Little Grievances

 

Property of Stormberry

It has occured recently, that I had to face a very uncomfortable situation brought forward by what I felt like other people's inconsideration, and that made me mad, mostly because it wasn't discomforting me, but someone I care a lot about, and yes, me too.

Last week my friend and former classmate from the Master's studies - let's call her Andy - was here from her country of origin, for a week to work on her Master Degree Thesis. Andy and I are best friends since the first Quarter we shared in this program, which was in May of 2020. We were assigned to work a project together in a Macroeconomics class, and ever since we've been doing every single possible team assignment together, and have been messaging and talking nearly non-stop. Nearly because we have to eat, sleep and work, mind you.

Andy never really clicked with the rest of the class, and though I did speak to the others, neither of us could call any of the others "our friends". They were classmates, not our friends, and though I was out to help everybody I could, we didn't really kept in contact with them. So much so, I have heard others say that of the whole class, there were only two friends, and those were Andy and I. Nobody else had really friends. Maybe two guys - a clown and a more serious guy -  were close to be friends but they were more like joke-friends or party-friends.

Andy and I were so close, that when she came here to participate last year in the Globelix seminar, she stayed at my place. We share a similar ideology, we both wanted an emphasis in Labor (which we didn't get), and we both would like to get into the doctorate program and wish to do so together. We talk a lot, analyze together a lot od things and even share secrets.

By the end of last year, Andy got a really important calling at the Government of her country, and so, when she couldn't get through with some stuff in classes, I did my best to help her. But also, whenever I was lost with something, she was always quick to help me out and explain what I didn't get. I can say, we really have each other's backs.

Property of Stormberry

This year she has continued in the Government, so she has been slipping back with her thesis work, and so our professors' suggested she came here, away from work, so she could advance and talk directly with the professors. And she did so this past week. I took two weeks of vacations (because I had all that time to spend), and in the first one I made sure to plan a lovely stay for her, with a reservation at Astral Speakeasy, a hidden bar with a Speakeasy bar feeling to it, but also a trip to our favorite metaphysical store, a coffee tour, a trip to our Art Museum, Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks (there's no Starbucks in her country), and coffee at my favorite French pastry shop.

This time around we didn't stay late talking our heads off, as Andy came really tired. One can tell her jobs are taking a toll on her. Then, we had our week of thesis work, meeting our guidance professor and fixing meetings with friends.

From the begining, before her plane even took off, I told our former classmates that she was coming, what were our plans and if they wished to meet with her, that we should either organized a meeting of all of us together, or meet one by one. They wanted to meet all together, but the agendas were complicated. First, I offered to include everybody in the reservation for the Astral Speakeasy, but nobody wanted that. Then they suggested to meet on Wednesday, but that wasn't doable because we had a meeting that night with our favorite professor. Andy's and my favorite professor, mind you, because nobody else liked him. (He assigned too much reading material).

When I mentioned that, there were some comments for us to ditch the professor, but that wasn't going to fly. Anyway, we decided on Thursday, which was Andy's last day. So I told them that, because Andy's flight next day is early, we should meet in my city.

Then came Thursday. Suddenly people want to meet in the Capital City, not in my city (even though everybody couldn actually make it fir they wanted to), because two of the classmates work there until 5 pm and "they would have to take the bus". No matter how many times or how strongly I told them that for Andy and I it was not feasable, they insisted. They kept pushing and pushing, ignoring the fact that neither Andy and I had the time to go there, meet with them, come back, pack and sleep enough to get to the airport. They plainly didn't care, and were offended that I was being so mean as to impede others "who also like Andy very much" to finally meet with her in person (all our classes were online due to the pandemic).

The discussion ended when I told them that they could sure come pick up Andy at the Uni where we were working, and then drive her back to my place, because I wasn't going to go to the Capital City, and instead would finish all the errands and stuff Andy had to complete before her flight. So they've got offended. I guess they love her diearly, as long as they don't have to move a finger for her.

We ended up meeting in our city, and it was the most annoying  meeting ever. They didn't care she was there, but instead launched into a conversation among them, here and there bouncing topic off Andy. for instance, once they asked here what has she liked best of Costa Rica from what she has seen, and while she was thinking on the question, they started saying what they liked best, and completely forgot about her. She never got to reply, nor where they interested in hearing her opinion. I guess they were also mad that Andy and I made time to visit our favorite professor, and didn't prioritize them.

As expected, our meeting ended rather fast, and though we all did our best to be polite to each other, a clear riff came between us. They went away feeling offended because particularly I was so mean as to deny two of our former classmates the chance to meet Andy in person (two people who never even spoke to her, according to Andy), and impose on others my locating preferences. I went away feeling disappointed in them, on how they expect others to bend backwards to satisfy their wishes, regardless of the problems of discomfort that may cause to them.

Through the week, we have known a few things about them, how they made a disaster of an internship they were offered abroad, and how the very reason they like to boast about it (basically a scholarship paid spring break trip) was the reason the hosting institution issued complains about them. To Andy and I - committed, hard working students - it was horrifying to watch them laugh about skipping classes and spending their scholarship money on trips and booze. Unbeknown to them, that care about the opportunities they are offered, the way they abuse of what they are offered, was put in painful display also in that meeting and their attitude. Two of the classmates had a chance to enroll in their prefered emphasys because Andy and I decided to give up Labor for them. To help them, and they took that as their right to walk over us.

By holding into this small determination, I felt a bit vindicated. I didn't give in, andy stood by me, and we had an awesome day, with plenty of time to pack and rest.