Homesick

As I type now in English, I somehow hear myself not in my usual accent, but THINKING with the Hungarian accent. Not like I have managed it back, but my English sounds in my head with the hard Hungarian accent. My grandpa noted that my Hungarian has deteriorated notably. I knew that since I find talking entirely in Hungarian rather difficult and I feel constantly tempted to drive into English, plusz I'm stuck at many of the long words product of the composition of many sufixes. How can my own mothertongue become a tongue-breaker for me? It's sad.

His remark went not on the matter of my grammar (which is so poor it should be receiving some Government aid), or my reduced vocabulary, but my pronounciation and my marked accent. Well, a few days ago I received a comment I have never received before: a guy said he loved my "Spanish accent". I have been told I have "American Accent", but no one has ever accused me of Spanish accent. It was heartbreaking. I must, definitivelly practice more.

It's worrying, truth to be told, how I have emptied three debit cards already. Okay, I do have 280€ in my Euro account (for which I have a card), and then 200€ at my brand new account in my Hungarian account (in an Austrian bank, thank you), for which I still don't have a card, even though I do was charged with the 13,71€ it costs... (can take the money out from a teller...), BUT I don't have my cards otherwise with money. Not my "colón" cards. Hope I do have some money left though. I still need 6000.- Ft to leave my aunt enough to send my card after me. ( Okay, reality check: who feels poor with... 280+200+40= 520€? Oh yes, big spender me...)

I waked yesterday down Váci utca alone, looking for a fair of Hungarian artisans exposing their goods. The Váci utca (Váci street) is a very touristic street turned into a boulevar where you can find a lot of Hungarian goods, traditional styles (like the beautiful red coat you can see in the picture) for prices so high, only the megarich could pay... or the occasional tourist, who could think that a couat like that does worth 80.000 Ft (around 310€ or $465), being this a bargain price, as I do have seen a couple of these beautiful creations for around 345.000 Ft. (You do the maths.) The fair had better prices, and everything was incredibly beautiful. There were a few furs I was tempted to buy and I would have if I only had space to carry them home. The furs were soft, and I believe they where made of sheep or something like that. They looked particularly warm and soft in this chilly, -4°C.

There was a lot of people there, and the artisans made a great show. There was music, traditional music, traditional instrument, including a "doromb", which I was tempted, to buy, except I would have no way to explain that, no, that's not a weapon, but a musical instrument, regardless of the strange sound it makes. I felt drowned into the place, into the city and into the middle of so much gathered tradition. The more I stay here, the more I feel like I belong, and so I find myself looking around for an apartment, a place to start my life here. I know I'm not in my youngest, and really, I'm quite "over the hill" for many things, but this is where I want to be. I feel the wish and the "need" to be here, to come back to my home. I've made a resolution, which becomes more and more firm with time: I want to come back home, I want to live again and this time forever, in Hungary. This is my home.