End of The Year Thought

I was in Wien, I came back. The story in all in Hungarian, and since I hate to repeat myself, I will not translate. Sorry. Go to Wien if you wish to know what's like. I'll tell my friends in person. However, to summarize for you, Wien was:

1. Cold
2. Pretty
3. Not the place where I would like to live for a long period of time.

What can I say? I'm a more "Budapest" kind of person. I actually like a city that has some hot blood and life in it. Not to mention, a city where I can speak fully the language and not start everything with "Enschuldigung...", and wonder eternally why haven't I found the conditional of "möchte" to express myself a little more properly. Strange thing, when my unexistent German failed me, I tended to countinue my quest in French rather than in English. Too much French. ... Nah, not such a thing.

I was thinking about a friend of mine, and how he has this romantic, "turn of the century" view of the life and the "proper behavior", where the external signs, the "actions" are made to fit the feelings, or proper feelings of people. The kind of behavior and expectations on which the polite behavior and its rules stand. Though I understand that politeness is needed to keep a fluent, non-convulsed social coexistence, I believe that giving a predominant value to actions over meaning, feelings and emotions, is not a wise, nor a human, or pro-human attitude. Feelings and emotions can happen independently of the actions, prior or later to them. Emotions are neither attached to actions, nor words. The problem, I believe is in the matter that actions can be quite defined, determinated and unilateral, while feelings, thoughts and emotions are multileveled, multidirectional and expansive. Make the action the glass and the emotion the water: the glass can't always contain perfectly the water.

Though the communication of the emotions and thoughts require actions, make them movement, words or any other type of action, embodying a single action with a specific emotion is a great mistake. This is what makes people pull apart.

Why can't people just pull back from the action and understand that the emotional life is not what's always seen on the skin? Why do they take gestures and words, and smiles and kisses for granted? The richness of the emotional world is shrunk into the little trunk of the action-paramethers precoded by some uptight asshole who wouldn't understand people even with a dictionary.

St. James says that the Doing withouth the Faith is dead. No action, no deed without Faith can be great or meaningful. I do not see myself as some holy person, quite the contraty, but it his steps I wish to say, that any Action without Emotion is Void. Is not the Action what fills the emotion with reality and meaning, but the emotion which fills the action, any action, even the no-action with life. As we shoudl see the Faith in the Deed, we should watch the emotion in the Action, and not the other way around.

It's late and I'm off for the nigth,