The Answer

Remember the question about the substitutes from yesterday? Well, I have found the closer substitute to my Precious Coke, which also helps me keep it from the maintenance and cleaning crew, by not being prepared, but needing preparation. I have rediscovered an ancient secret of the gods: fucking strong coffee. I dunno if I can manage to send a picture thought the mail, this fucking shit sure gets to my nerves, but the thing is, this ain't thge first time I have leaned on the "power of the golden bean" to ensure my survival. Of course, the last time I did it, I wasn't a fucking asthmatic, and so I could combine it with my delicious, long and satisfying smokes. Fuck, you have no idea the ultimate experience a smoke can give to your life. Second hand smokers: stop bitching you hos! Light it up and suck it! Oh, the wonderful good ol' days when Skylar n I had nothing but capuccinos and smokes for lunch, and the rest of the time was reserved for good, intelligent, outstretched talking or upscale shopping. Life was gooooood, wasn't it, My Friend?

Anyway, I needed my boost, and since I'm still keeping my oat meal everyday, I thought: "Fuck, I can get a bit 'unhealthy', for Fuck's sake! Ain't no gonna kill me to take some real nourishment into mah systemizzle." So I went, brew a cup of gourmet coffee in my French press until it became ink dark, mixed it with Vienna Coffee mix (which was best before June 11th, but oh well... I threw out the rest, so now it's only Mocha until September) ---- yes, the one you are supposed to mix in water or milk, not in coffee because it already has coffee ---- and I'm sipping it. Yummy, I may say, it's fucking good! The picture I've added contains the way I used to prepare the "Good Morning Coffeeland" cup. Today I do the same but do not add the sugar. The mix has enough already. Plus, I'm trying to be healthy, right? So fuck the sugga and just gimme tha brew... with the mix to tone down the "evil" and the "unhealthy" of a cup of caffeine charged ink. N ya know sum-sum? Me already feeling like pumping bitch! (And me hood-complex is all up and going krrrazzzy! Hey yo, dawg! Dis is anotha dogg-house productionizzle! And me no clap back, bitch nigga.)

How much coffee is too much coffee? There's not too much coffee. A dude from Hungary, sweet dude, quotes Süsü and all, but a bit too fucking homophobe and ignorant for my liking, sent me a list of "symptoms" to tell when coffee becomes too much coffee. They are in Hungarian... duh, but some of them are:

1. You run 200 miles before you realize your running threadmill is off.
2. You help your dog chase his tail.
3. There's a picture of a mug of coffee on your mug.
4. The only moment when you can be still in one place is during earthquakes.
5. You know you can easily resist four heart arrests a day.

The rest I forgot. I laughed my head off with them until I realized... fuck...that's me! (One of my favorite mugs say "mocha" all over.) No fucking shit. Then again, and frame this because this might be one of the very rare times I go on claiming my Costa Rican roots, but as a COSTA RICAN, native of the lad that produces the BEST COFFEE in the UNIVERSE, from reach mountains and plains of perfect weather, excellent and rich, fertile soil, made of the very bossom of Gaia, Hera, Juno, Freya and every representative of Mother Earth, the land God has selected to grow the ultimate coffeebeans, well... from the heart of coffee perfection, and all of you out there bow to our supreme perfection, I was BOUND to love and enjoy coffee and drink it as it is supposed to be drank: with gusto! Now go framing that, because I usually pull towards my Hungarian roots so strong it is easy to over see the actual reason of my darker complexion. Yep, I'm a Hungarian woman all coffee, all Sun and all Pacific Ocean and Caribbean Sea. Yes, I know: I'm perfect. I was made this way. ^_~ As a matter of fact, I could say that Brother and I were not merely "made" or "created". We were "designed" and "engineered" to supreme human perfection... but I do not wish to throw in your face your own inadequacies... ^_^ (Yes, I'm so full of myself, but what can I say? I must keep up my 108 Narcissism, which I hope to elevate to the full 115 for my next test.)

Fuck, no shit, but coffee is making me feel so fucking good! I'm about to stand up and sing "La Marseillaise" with Edith Piaf, or hop on the desk and dance "This Boots are made for Walking". Weeeeeeeee-heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

11:07. Shouldn't I be working? Yes, I should. Bah, nothing another cup of coffee can't fix!

11:09. Okay, okay.... I'll go work... and read "What Starts Bad Ends Bad: Second Fact"! I'm really, really amazed at the things I'm capable of writing. No, really... I have a very twisted mind when it comes to torture... I really hope I'll never become an adviser in torture matters.

Oh, one last comment. Regarding the oat meal, watch it when you eat it because it really gets to your stomach, and keeps you going to the bathroom, but oddly, it does have quite fast and visible results. I'll keep you posted but so far, this the Day 3 of the "Quaker Dare" - regime: one oat meal meal a day, and... today I'm feeling and looking "thinner". People has noticed it and all, but I notice it mainly in my belly going flatter. It is cleansing my system of "stuff", "toxines" and all those "bad and unhealthy things"? Oatmeal is all fiber, after all... Fuck, but what have I eaten that is not "bad and unhealthy"? O_O I'm made of sin-food and... well, "cum" is natural, though animal origine protein product... ^_^ Bah, that's sin-food too. Maybe I should stop the oatmeal before it eliminates me entirely! I am not made for the healthy and good food and lifestyle. Healthy is bad, but pleasure.... oh fucking boy, I'm all PLEASURE! (And profuse swearing... which keeps my dear friend Sandra from being able to access my Facebook profile and probably this blog too from her office for ... "obscenity"....)