Not Working Work Wires

Again from this not-so-smart solution. I'd like to know what the fuck do they think they are doing? I can see my blog, but I can't write in it. Add to it, I haven't figured out yet the way to be able to post this way to Hókisasszony, which really upsets me. Yesterday I made a post that was left hanging in the limbo because that's the way it goes, and then, when I added another post (yes, somtimes I write two posts) it put today's date on it. What the fucking hell? Does this crappy network thinks I'm in China? Talk about annoying! I can't either access my Facebook profile due to the jackasses of IT fucking with the blockings. Hey, that's what they do. I can't stop but wonder how empty, meaningless their lives must be. I mean, it's annoying, but I can always go home and check on stuff from there, so what's the point?

Anyway, I wasn't able to go and check my Facebook, answer all the lovely and dear greetings I've got from my friends and family, because I was getting sloshed. Someone gara do that too, you know? So I hope Roo, Ana Kuka, uncle Jón, Lova, Elizabeth, Danny, Ana Ericka, Michelle, Jácint and the rest can please, please forgive me for not answering sooner! Then, if you could all please help me kick this crappy network and the IT-s working with it, it would be groovie.

So what was it like yesterday? It was great, well save maybe by the rude way Mario behaved with Caroll. I know people have their way of joking, but I did find a lot of things he did offending. For instance, there's no way you can interprete giving the "finger" to someone as a joke when you are not very close to that other person. Ignoring someone is also rude. Disregarding someone, not having the minimal polite manners, such as opening the cab's door for the person you are close to, but run around to help someone else, it down right rude. I was not falttered, I was entirely ashamed! Cutting into other people's talking, force your voice upon someone else, is rude. You do that in a negotiation when people is being rude and they are not giving you your space, and even there is rude. You don't do so at a drinking table. You don't talk about "normal women being dirtier than whores" and then quickly add "no pun intended". That was offensive. Okay, where you are from and how long before you go back home? I certainly didn't need to hear that on my 32nd birthday, or ever, for that matter. I've been retired from animé for ages now, so going on and on about why some series is bad compared with another, non of which I know or care to know of, is rude. I mean, my boss bores me to death and back with his jabbering about cars, but at least I have some idea about cars, even if I can't tell a Mercedes from a Hyundai. Offending my friend by letting her know that you thought poorly of her, but that now you consider her smarter because she agreed with you on something (and I suspect it was mostly to get you to shut up), and then insist in this absolutely debasing attempt of a joke of make her kiss your hand.... Oh dear. I wanted to grab my friend, a cab and leave the hell out of there. I was trying to igure out what was happening, and at the same time was feeling so grateful to my poor and dear Caroll for keeping up in such a nice, dignified and leveled way. She smiled graciously and pretended it was all a joke, even I believe she was far more offended than I was.

It wasn't very pleasing either that he kept leering and making leering comments about a newly purchased outfit. Yes, I know I look good in Benetton. There's a reason I've chosen this lovely Italian brand (and make sure to wear ONLY Benetton, and not their other brand, Sisley, which I find so ultimately cheap-looking) to wear. It's nice, decent, clean cut and pretty much out of the top fashion tendencies that produce short lifespan designs. It doesn't need me to be toothpick thin or Eiffel-tall or inhumanly deformed to use it. The inspiration is always very European, which I appreciate enormously, and the fabrics are very comfortable. Soft and washable. I have my share of Benetton clothes, as everybody knows, and I'm happy with them. They look all good on me, flatter me greatly. So yes, I know how to pick my clothes, how to wear them and what to wear. This is, however, not an open invitation for seedy behavior, or furthermore, insist on it. I rather have a simple "you look good in that" than hours going on the matter "you disturb me", strongly hinting that you've might have gotten a boner for seeing me. There might be women in the world who like that kind of comment, but I am not one of those. I mean, I could take it from a guy I want to fuck, and I'm close to, but certainly not from a friend I don't find remotely arousing, in whom I've confided, I've trusted and I regard as a good friend which whom I share common interests.

I've many birthdays to come, but none again one like that. I love Mario and I adore Caroll, but I can't have them both at the same time. I'm still thinking about what to do now, how to proceed with things, but one thing is for certain: I've been forced to choose among them. I'm certainly not stopping talking with one fo them in favor of the other, but I'll never go out with the both of them together again. Thing is, I know I can go out with Caroll and other friends and have a good time and not to be absolutely humiliated. If I go out with Caroll AND Kate, then I better have someone else with me too, for the moment Kate gets caught in the unforeseeable webs of Mu and the rest of the Saint Seiya world. Don't get me wrong, I do love Kate like crazy, and I look forward to her birthday, but there only so much of Mu that you can hear, and sometimes her stories are so incoherent, or the way she tells them are so unstructured, it's like half the story is being told telepathically, and I don't have the Mind WiMax installed. But other than that, we are cool. We have gone out with Caroll and Roo, Lau, Skylar, Jules, so I'm confident with Caroll. We have gone out with lovely people like Gabs too, and we also have a great time just the two of us. With Mario, on the other hand I have a spelndid time when it's only the two of us, but when there's someone else he tends to behave in a disturbing way. Maybe once, when we went out with one of his Go friends, he was behaving within the range of normal, but other than that, he shows an extremely high unability to behave with other people. Need to be the clown? Race to win the prize of the most disturbing, immature person present? I don't know, and I certainly don't like it. I do want him in my birthday, but I do want Caroll too, and I might want other people too. Who knows? Maybe next year I'd like to have Pilar over to celebrate? No, no, rest assured, I'll never have Marie-Joséphine over for celebration, or Mari and the "gang", but I could want to celebrate with someone I haven't seen in ages like... Goyira for instance, or a cousin of mine, or a friend from school or... who knows what happens in 365 days. I might have some significant other of sorts (unlikely, but let's get along with it as an example), and I would really like to be celebrating in a fun, polite, grown-up environment. Unlike with other people, drama and fights do not make my day. I do not enjoy to be in the middle of controversy and quarrels, so I must decide which is the most healthy way to do it.

365 days are a long time and a lot of things can change. I hope I keep my friends, but they could be gone by then. I REALLY hope, however they don't, though. I love them. But if things don't change, if today is my next birthday and I have to decide what to do, CETERIS PARIBUS, I'll choose to celebrate with Caroll for the long-shot celebration, with the shopping and the drinking, and will have the pre-party or the post-party alone with Mario. I'm simply refusing to expose my friends to discomfort, and I do not enjoy being the object of fight, as I believe I have made if clear over and over.

Well, from my previous post you have an idea of what it was like when I was still at the office. When I left, I went to Multiplaza. There I did some rounds, not buying everything on sight because my resources were limited, unlike in previous years, where I bought anything and everything I liked. I had a clear goal in mind when I entered the mall: Carpisa bag, if I find something suitable, which I didn't, something little at Benetton and then a purchase of French books from Lib. Internacional. I went into Benetton first to check things and found a lot of so beautiful things! There was a whole great collection of raw and brick coloured clothes made in natural materials. Soft cottons and linens. I brownsed a little through them checking out some pants and dresses which I postponed for later. Went more for the whites, since today I always dress in white and I don't have enough white. I'f I had been budget-free, I would have certainly packed up with the raw colors, but instead chose two skirts, a white and a red one of the same style of a brown one I bought in April. It has a nice flow and a great cut, so I wanted to try it in other colors. Needless to say they are wonderful. I didn't bought them at first, since my priority was the books. Unfortunately the book area was rather poor. I couldn't find a thing that would have inspired me. I was following the readings mentioned in Anais' diaries, but found no books. It was also upsetting that a large portion of the book in French were translations. Lesser novels, stuff translated from Spanish... why would anyoen read that? Well, who knows, but if you are on the French senction, it would make more sense to keep at least 50% ofd original French writers. Got a book on goth symbology, which I hope will aid me complement my Middle Ages studies. A small diary to continue the one I'm sharing with Caroll, and then I was off to get my clothes.

I must say that my private celebration was beautiful. Alone with my thoughts, smiling and floating in happiness. the world was perfect, my mind was filled with thoughts and I whished it to last forever.

It has been a kind of dream for a while now, to celebrate my birthday entirely alone. Maybe one day. I know I can't do it when I go back home, because my aunt is there and so my uncle and my grandpa and my friends, and I want them to be there too, but mybe one day, maybe just for a few hours, I'll be one day able to celebrate all by myself. It must be the most beautiful thing in the world.

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« Every schilling you save puts a man out of Work for a Day. »
- John Maynard Keynes