Swift Forgiveness

One of the perks I've found of going to church, is that more often than not the topic of the Speech, or the message of one of the Biblical Passages read up, offers a good topic also for a post. At church, during the course of the Mass, you can't lift your hand and pose a question to the priest, or tell them that you don't agree with what they just say.

A couple of weeks ago, the main speech was about forgiveness. The idea itself is nice and beautiful, and there's hardly anyone in the world who can think of forgiveness isn't a good thing. The priest that day read a passage from the Bible where the indication was told that we shouldn't go into church or stand in the presence of God with anger in our heart or having bred anger inside the heart of others. Thus, the recommendation given was "before you enter the House of God, go to your brother and make peace". This got me thinking about the grudges I'm holding or those that might be held against me.

It is quite easy to talk about forgiving swiftly, and making peace, but the truth is that this doesn't go as easy in real life. There's one thing when you want to make peace with someone who refuses to make peace with you and you try to find the way to still make it happen, but what happens when it's you who can't really forgive? There are indeed things that are hard to forgive, though you might be willing to forget, or decide not to deal with thw thing and ignore it completely. Children who have suffered home violence, are able to forgive over a conversation years and years of horrors? Families who have lost someone to murder, or those who have suffered abuse, rape or harm, would forgive withing a couple of hours the harm done? Are spouses who have suffered abuse supposed to forgive before mass their abusers?

Not all insults and hurts we have suffered have the same weight in our eyes as in the eyes of others. I'm one - for instance - who can let go easier the insults directed towards me, than those towards my loved ones. I find it quite hard to forgive someone who has disregarded my parents, or who have spoken ill of my friends. Then, often the process of forgiveness doesn't come from one side, as it is hard to forgive someone who keeps lashing the same kind of hurt or insult, maybe even acting as it they were entitled to. 

For many it's easy to preech from their high horses, and claim that those of us who can't find the easy and swift way to forgiveness, as pety, and maybe even label us as "not pleasing in the eyes of God", maybe even as unworthy of trespassing the treshold of a church, but I'd like to ask if they are as quick to forgive leaders and tyrants who have harmed many nations. Easy to forgive Adolf Hitler, Hosni Mubarak, Gadhaffi, Pinochet, Franco, Mussolini, Stalin.

Yes, forgiveness is a wonderful, beautiful thing, but just as with the injuries of the body, when it comes to the soul, the heart, the memory, our injuries need time to heal, and when the scars are left behind, we shouldn't be made ashamed of them. Thinking of not entering a Temple while you have unsolved things in your heart is as irrational as asking you not to enter a hospital unless you are entirely healthy. What better than the comfort and balm of your Deity to wash over your injuries and help them heal better?

Don't be afraid of being unable to forgive someone or something for a long period of time, as long as you don't let the issue fester inside you. Like everything else, pay attention to your feelings, work with them and seek help, if you feel you need them, but don't pretend to sweep the whole thing out of your heart in a matter of minutes, and pretend it never happened, holding your abuser as your new best friend. Specially, don't feel moved to "forgive" someone so that you can stand in the presence of God. God sees all the way into your soul, but if He doesn't, if your god can be tricked with suck a lame move, them man, I think you should change of deity.

In today's Speech, we heard about the false prophets, and how "the tree is known by its fruit". I'll keep this topic for some other day, but it ties here this way: you can say you forgive and that you forgive swiftly. You can say all you want, but it's not your word what matters, but your actions, your attitude, your whole self. You can be excellent arguing, but you can't trick those who see your actions, and above all - come on - you can't trick God.