Connecting with the Tarot

Property of Stormberry

 When I was preparing my April "spread" (I don't really do "spreads"), I decided to try and work to strenghten my connection with Tarot. I wanted to take out my Tarot decks - or one of them, or some of them - and work with them a little everyday. Or every other day or something like that.

You see, I started with one Tarot deck, and then I was pulled into more and more and more. I have been working softly with my decks and usually just pulled one card from the deck and thought about it. But then, when I've got to five decks - and I always pull out all of them - it was taking me minimum one hour just shuffling and pulling one card, because I normally record my readings in my Book of Shadows, or now in my Tarot Journal. Yes, I do that because I like to keep track of what my impression of the cards is, and when each comes up in my readings.

However, I do have been feeling like I want to connect more with the practice of Tarot, and with my decks, but it hasn't really happening. I'm too tired, I'm not feeling it and so on. Or I feel it, but then the time it would take me discourages me. I was thinking that maybe I should pick a deck and work with it, but then I usually feel like asking all of them about "what they think". So, the idea wasn't working. Then, what should I do, because I really want to connect more with them.

Then today, after work, I've got a thought? What if I pick one deck each day at a given moment of the day, and do a spread. I want to give myself a chance to connect with the message of each deck more deeply, not just in a one-card depth.

In my practice, I don't use any kind of spread, and definitively I don't use any of those complex spreads like the Celtic cross or the Tree of Life, and I usually tend to do a 4x4 spread - or I used to in the past - or just go with the flow. I guess I will try to follow this one-deck-a-day plan, and see where it leads me.

Express Love!

Mercury Retrograde is finally over, and I can't be happier. I won't blame the astrological phenomenon on the lagging of my posting (though I could), but let's just say that I am really happy it's over... for now. Yes, I have witchy plans to put in motion that are better done under clear skies and direct planetary influences. Ah, I do live being Pagan and a Witch, even when it has these pecularities. Then again, these all make life all the more fun to live.

Last week was also a bit of a tough week for me, because I had a lot of things lined up. Thesis pre-defense, my nephews and niece staying over for the weekend, my Mom's birthday, and then I lovely, surprise meet up with a dear friend, that left me emotionally charged. Last week I didn't go to yoga (I stared a few weeks ago), and I was also carrying around negative emotions about that.

Yoga: Yes, about that, quickly, what happened was that I was so happy with a new alignment yoga class that was taught on Tuesdays at 18.00 hours. Management decided to move it to 19.00 hours. For me, who don't live in the same city where the classes are taught, this meant getting home at the same hour I used to get home when I was taking German lessons. We all know how that ended, so that was not an option for me. I could go another day to another class, but the other classes were not of alignment, and I wanted alignment. So yes, I was a little bitter, mumbling troll under a bridge, upset by the change.

Anyway, back on track, I was already strained, but coping (or so I say), when I met with this dear friend of mine, who is going through a bit of a rough patch. And no, his yoga class wasn't moved an hour later, but he was having Mercury Retrograde lean in elbow first in his life, with all the other gods, goddesses and planets piling on like it's a rugby scrum. I was really, really happy to see him and spend time with him, though I am afraid I wasn't as useful as I could have been, have I had all my marbles in place.

As he unburdened his chest, I tried to convey often that he can deal with it all, he's strong enough, he has the resources he needs, he's smart enough, and that he can always draw strenght from the love of all those who surround him. Me among them. I did try to make this clear over and over, beacuse I'm afraid that Mercury Retrograde (I'm so not taking the blame for this, even if it is my fault) messes with my already strained emotions, and I ended up telling him things I probably shouldn't have. Like how deeply I used to dislike him when we were in college.

I did talked to him like it was the last time I'll see him ever, and so I opened up my ribcage and unloaded everything I felt he might need through the rest of his life. The exercise was so intense, that it left a mark on me, a print, and so I spent a couple of days after thinking about him and the message I transmitted. In the end, it all came concentrated in one word: Love.

Love

Many people guard the speaking out of this word quite jealously, and often fear or feel that it can be cheapened if used too much. Many also link this word, and the sentence "I love You", to a romantic declaration that must lead to marriage and forming a family. Fairly tales and stories in books and movies and series, also often sell us this idea of the "One", or the "True Love", and how there is only one real love and how lovely it is when someone has never known love and then finally finds love and feels it for the first time. Doesn't ring a bell? Well, how about the corny expression "I never felt this way before"?

In my opinion, these ideas put in people's heads a dangerous concept, which my itself degenerates the feeling and the word. If there is one love, and you fall in love with someone but then fall out of love, or that emotion ceases, you could end up feeling guilty and unworthy because a) you lost this important thing and there was only one of it, or b) you are so silly you couldn't see it wasn't the true one.

You see, love is like a muscle, and it's also multiple. There isn't one love or one true love, but many, many types of love. Also, love is quite tailored, and it's nearly impossible to love two people with the same kind of love. This doesn't mean that one is bigger or better than the other, but that each molds perfectly to the person you are loving. You love your mom one way and your dad another. You love each of your siblings and each of your friends in a different way. You also love each of your lovers and exes in a different way. And that's alright.

Maybe we should start saying it aloud more often, tell our friends that we love them, tell or family that we love them, and not me frugal or scared of the words. Use them! So far, there is no charge and no tax on expressing emotions or showing love. Hug, kiss, hold a hand, smile, say "I love you" and keep smiling.

Saying it more often strenghtens both the emotion and the ease to express it, and also to express other emotions. Strenghtens your contact with your own self, your feelings and your thoughts, and also strenghtens your bond with others.

Choose to say it when you feel it, not when you are expected to, and strenghten your honesty, both towards yourself and towards others.

Saying "I love you" often doesn't cheapen the emotion, saying it without feeling it, or to get something, does.

Reclaim love.

Blessed Litha!

It's that time of the year again, when we celebrate another turn of the Wheel of the Year, and honor another Sabbath. "Sabbath": I have some issues with that word, don't you? I've seen is spelled as "sabbath", "sabat", "sabbatt"... I'm choosing to use "sabbath" because that's how I've seen it mostly spelled in my witchy books, but hey, if I'm mistaken, please let me know. But back to the topic :-D.

Source: WiccaSpain RITUALES
Found through Google.com

Today we celebrate Litha or Midsummer or Summer Solstice. You want to know something funny? Well, you know I have a Book of Shadows, right? Well, mine is a... practice-Book of Shadows because I started it when I wasn't entirely sure I would go Pagan. As result, my circle casting spell has Christian references, which I have striken out by now. The point is, in my Book of Shadows I separated pages for each sabbath, with the intention of writing something about each and my experience with it in time. If you were to flip through those pages (which you will never do, because, you know, Books of Shadows are personal), you'll find that I actually have "a lot" written and prepared for Imbolc and maybe for Ostara, but not for the rest of the sabbaths. My section on Litha is quite... empty. Yeah, that might reflect also in the kind of Pagan I am: one that starts the year really dedicated, and then ends it up with the general "let's just see what comes out of it" attitude. Hey, it's not only the generic Christians that do that! Pagans are people too, and yes, we can be lazy people too. Deal with it.

One thing I totally love about being Pagan is the freedom I have to live my spiritual path. No third parties preaching about what constitutes a good Pagan or a bad Pagan, what should you observe and avoid and so on. With no set book of instructions, I am free to follow my heart there whereit would lead me. As result, as I do my research - lazy or not, this witch loves reasearch, even though she may not dutifully write it down in her Book of Shadows, mind you - I can check on different experiences, different suggestions and then pick and choose my rituals.

In previous years I have reflected upon the sabbaths as milestones in a project. I believe I have post in this blog that reflect this thinking. Was it 2015, maybe? (Perhaps I should go back on them and copy those posts out into my Book of Shadows...) Though this leading idea remains in my rituals, for this year I was seeking to complete better my notes, and so I started researching on two lines: one, I wanted to get more information on elements traditional for Litha, particularly food types (in this sense, I'm so much more prepared for the Three Harvests, Yule, Imbolc and Ostara), and also getting more information on one of my gods, Mercury.

Source: Google.com

For the first part I roamed aimlessly here and there, and found information about using fresh garden produce, like veggies and fruits. Do I have the links, you'd ask? Nah, this witch FORGOT about writing those down. I tried to re-google it, but when has that ever worked? I know, I know. Anyways, now the thought is in my head, to use fresh fruits. That will be fun, because I thought of berries, so I'll sure will seek for strawberries, maybe some physallis and cherries. I think I may get a small cherry-pie or a strawberry cheesecake for tonight's ritual's cake. No information on particular drinks, BUT a kriek might be a good idea, wouldn't you agree? Ah, don't you love being Pagan? I sure do! :-D

In another site I found but can't reference because I forgot to save it, I read that Litha was a great time to reinforce your Path and reflect upon it. Also it's a great time to renew your bond with your gods. Aha! Great, I thought, because I was already thinking about researching more about Mercury!

Regarding my gods, I have gone through many sites and checked information (and saved other for later, though I don't exactly remember where I saved it?) as part of my exercise to get to know better the different faces and sides of the Divine. You may know this already, but I connect particularly with three gods: Minerva, Mercury and Neptune. Normally, in the Wiccan tradition, people tend to have a God and a Goddess. I am not wiccan, but I relay heavily on their guidance to go around walking my path. Think of it this way: I do my thing, but when in doubt I check with Wicca for ideas. Not to mention that, honestly, most of the available bibliography out there is Wiccan, so yes, this lovely religion is a fantastic support for all of us. Anyway, in my heart I have felt a connection with these three for a while, so I relate to them as my mean or leading or patron gods. However, how much I know about them? Not much.

Curiously, with Minerva and Neptune I also tend to relate to their greek counterparts (Athena and Poseidon), but not with Mercury. Also, with Minerva and Neptune, I'm clear about their symbols regarding animal figures I can use to represent them in my altar settings or generally in my home, but I've no such representation of Mercury, which is what spurred this quest. In this sense I have not found (so far) any clear indication of Mercury favoring a particular animal, such as Minerva has the owl and Neptune has the dolphins, but I have been reading more and more about him and find it curious how my life path has followed so closely on his realm. Exchange, language, commerce, Mercury is fascinating!

So, on this sabbath, I will take a moment to meditate and share some thoughts about the gods and with a special mention of Mercury, one of my patrons.

How will you spend your sabbath?