Litha, Books and Stuff

Blessed Litha to all of you who celebrate it, and for those who don't, I hope you are having a lovely Wednesday. It's night already and I haven't celebrated my patron gods yet, nor have I done any ritual for Litha, but I plan to. As usual, it will be a simple thing, lighting candles and some incense, and meditating a bit. Just today in the morning, I thought how curious it was that, when I didn't have my own place, I used to set these makeshift altars, with loads of candles, on the floor, and do my rituals. The spread was quite large, took time to set and time to pick it up, and it had happened that a ritual took me up to four hours of just me talking to my gods. Now I have my own place, I don't have to take down my altar and now my spread is much smaller, much simpler, it's permanent and doesn't change much throughout the year, and my rituals are done in less than 15 minutes. I find that curious.

I've been lagging in my spiritual practice lately, and maybe that's due to the fact that one of my morning routines is to do a localized cleaning in my home, and somehow it feels that I can't possibly add any more things to my morning. Not like moving my daily ritual to the night wouldn't work, BUT my energy tends to be different at that moment. We shall see about that.

Property of Stormberry.

For this year, I've already bought my birthday books, and I've very pleased with them. Maybe "The Paris Apartment" may not be as good, but it still caught my attention. And I just realized all the books I've got have been written by women, and except by The Paris Apartment (maybe), all the books I selected revolve around women, with Olimpia, Fedra and The Lions of Fifth Avenue (Los Secretos de la Biblioteca de la Quinta Avenida) being of a more feminist cut. Also, all books save for The Paris Apartment are in Spanish. Normally I prefer to buy books in their original language, when I can read the original language, but oh well, in the end the important thing is the story, and not the language or the edition.

Currently I'm reading a novel by Jaume Cabré in Hungarian. I believe it was originally written in Catalan, but many things I find them in Spanish or similar to Spanish, and that does tend to irk me a tad. It's like when I was reading a Scandinavian noir novel in French and though I don't speak Icelandic, the interspersed Icelandic names and words with the French felt odd. I wonder if other people is sensible to the language the same way I am.

On book topics, recently I've come to a decision I've been pondering for a while: I'll stop supporting a friend's Patreon account. I have this booktuber friend who got a Patreon account where they offer bookclubs and different activities, exclusive content and so on, and I've been supporting them for years now. They are really creative and give so much that I often thought they were overcompensating, giving far more than what they charge. From the start I've got into the higher tier of the account. Also, though we knew each other from before, in passing and as part of the Costa Rican booktube community, I believe we didn't became really friends until after I joined the Patreon group.

From the start I wasn't participating in all the joint readings and bookclubs they held, but went to the meetings, watched all the videos and so on. It was nice and it was worth it. 

However, for a while now I have really been disconnected from the booktube world, I'm not watching their videos, not joining their reading session and haven't read a book with them in over a year. I hardly even go to the meetings, and when I do, it feels kind of pointless because I haven't read the book, nor am I interested in reading the book. Yes, the people in the meetings are friendly, and some of them tend to talk incesantly about other topics, which make the meting more inclusive, but that's not the point of these meetings. I kept paying my membership because I felt sort of like I "had" to support my friend, that I could affort to help them out, even though I wasn't profiting from it at all. I even ignore their chat, and just get into the chat to get the notification bubble disappearing. I don't read the messages nor am I interested in them.

I was in this point, not really thinking about what to do, just ignoring the whole thing, and sometimes checking something... at 1.75x speed. Then recently they posted a video that was quite... strange. It sounded defensive and bigoted, covertly attacking people who have different reading habits than theirs. Funny thing? Pretty much all the things they mentioned as "reading mistakes" are how I read. And this was what finally did it for me. This was the message, the signal I wanted, the one that said: this has stopped being for you.

The video shocked me, not only because it does felt personal, but because I'm not the only person who reads like that, and so it may get a bad reaction from their audience. It was surely a big flop, even though they clearly stated that "this was just their subjective opinion". (Except that, by the way it was worded it sounded like "it is my opinion, but people who do this are totally wrong". It wasn't an opinion, it was a series of judgemental statements, even though that wasn't probably the intent behind it.) After I decided to unsubscribe from the account, I started thinking about how to let her know, because I don't want to just disappear. I do believe that we are friends (maybe). And so I've been thinking about that. I just don't want to waste money on soemthing I'm not using, and there is not point in hanging in there when the Universe is showing me that our literary interests have grown apart. So, why bother?

I hate conflict, so I'm preparing, and I gave myself until Friday to broach the subject with them, and end my membership next month.

Property of Stormberry

Today, I have also been crafty. It wasn't planned, though I do have thought for a while about making a box of sorts to house my recipe cards. I always take recipe cards from my favorite market, because these often give me interesting ideas for cooking, baking or for fixing an interesting drink. I haven't tried them all, but I never fail to collect them. I rather have duplicates than miss a recipe. As result I have a bunch of them. I used to have them between the covers of one of my cooking books, but the book was already falling apart, so I took them out.

This year, as I was thinking about how to house the cards, I decided to classify them depending on the type of recipe, and then ordered them in a "lattice like" way to keep the cathegories separated, and held the whole bunch with elastic bands. Well, that wasn't very comfortable, but since I don't check them often, it was ok.

Today I thought about baking bread - Brötchen or Semmeln actually - and I was going to get my recipe when I looked at my cards and decided to fashion up a simple cardboard box out of a leftover cardboard piece from a calendar. You know, the type of cardboard used to stiffen the packaged calendars. And so with a piece of cardboard, glue, a ruler, scissors and a cutter, I made it. I also fashioned dividers for each section with colored flashcards, post-it notes, scotch tape and a fountain pen. The box turned out to be a little more snug than I expected, fitting the cards exactly, and not with the 2 mm marging I had planned on giving it. I would actually like to make the box in wood, and carve it with a pyrograph, but that's a project for the future.

Connecting with the Tarot

Property of Stormberry

 When I was preparing my April "spread" (I don't really do "spreads"), I decided to try and work to strenghten my connection with Tarot. I wanted to take out my Tarot decks - or one of them, or some of them - and work with them a little everyday. Or every other day or something like that.

You see, I started with one Tarot deck, and then I was pulled into more and more and more. I have been working softly with my decks and usually just pulled one card from the deck and thought about it. But then, when I've got to five decks - and I always pull out all of them - it was taking me minimum one hour just shuffling and pulling one card, because I normally record my readings in my Book of Shadows, or now in my Tarot Journal. Yes, I do that because I like to keep track of what my impression of the cards is, and when each comes up in my readings.

However, I do have been feeling like I want to connect more with the practice of Tarot, and with my decks, but it hasn't really happening. I'm too tired, I'm not feeling it and so on. Or I feel it, but then the time it would take me discourages me. I was thinking that maybe I should pick a deck and work with it, but then I usually feel like asking all of them about "what they think". So, the idea wasn't working. Then, what should I do, because I really want to connect more with them.

Then today, after work, I've got a thought? What if I pick one deck each day at a given moment of the day, and do a spread. I want to give myself a chance to connect with the message of each deck more deeply, not just in a one-card depth.

In my practice, I don't use any kind of spread, and definitively I don't use any of those complex spreads like the Celtic cross or the Tree of Life, and I usually tend to do a 4x4 spread - or I used to in the past - or just go with the flow. I guess I will try to follow this one-deck-a-day plan, and see where it leads me.

Ho'oponopono: my initial standing

This Christmas I received from a very dear friend of mine a Ho'oponopono kit of sorts. It was a box with a small book and a set of twelve cards developped by María-Elisa Hurtado-Graciet and Jean Graciet. My friend is witchy-leaning, and we talk a lot (generally, we talk A LOT!) about self-esteem, self-empowerment, meditation, crystals, herbs and witchy things. So, on that line, she found this set and thought I would love it. Honestly, from the description of the back, I would have thought the same. But, clearly, that was not the case.

According to the description on the back, Ho'oponopono is an ancient Hawaiian method to reconciliate parts that are in disagreement. I have seen books and stuff about it before in the bookstores I visit, and I know I have taken some in my hand, but have never been drawn to them enough to buy them. The pull was there, but it wasn't strong enough. Like with the I-Ching: I have seen a lot of books and stuff about it in the New Age sections of bookstores, but so far I haven't reached out and bought any. Well, it was the same withe the Ho'oponopono, which means that I was so excited I've got it as a present. (I'm including a link to the Wikipedia site of this method, in case you want to know more about it.)

I tore into the book, and loved the art on the cards. I leafed through them and some were strange, but others were so pretty! I could already see myself including them in my daily routine, maybe by drawing a card before the morning meditation I'm trying to do - which doesn't work everyday, but that's how a work in process looks like: in process - and so I started reading the book. So here is what I've found.

The Positive

If I say I found something positive about it, I would lie to you. Surely there are many positive things for people in this method, like centering on love and working on traumas and so, but the way it goes bothers me, truth to be told.

My Objections

I had many, to be honest, but I'll group them in four main cathegories, as follows.

The idea of the Creator

According to the book I read, all of it starts from a very existentialist point of view: each person is a creator of the whole universe, and nothing exists that haven't been created by them. This means, according to the book, that there are no problems and obstacles, because people have created them all in their minds. So, when you have a problem or you are bothered by something, well, it's something that exists in your head, that you created with your thoughts and so you must cleanse your thoughts in order to fix the problem.

At one point, I believe, thee book says there are no victims of guilty parties, and each person is responsible of their own circumstances (because they have created them). And here lies for me, the problem: from this point of view, you are responsible for everything, and this would also mean, that if something happens to you, something you can't control, something where you are a victim, this method tells you that it's your responsability, you created this. Think about assault, about being victim of fraud, or the gods fobid, rape. You would also be responsible for war. And this isn't so.

Many groups have worked so hard to make people aware that they are not the guilty party when they are the victims. A lot of work is being made to stop revictimization. And though the cases I mentioned above are extreme, think of others much more common, where revictimization goes on without notice, such as unemployment. Often we hear people say that those who are unemployed are either lazy or too picky, or just want to be kept by the Government. If you have been unemployed, and I have, you know that it might not be so easy for you to find a job. Even finding a job as a waitress or a server at a fast food restaurant takes time, and needs you to fill some requirements. Finding a job requires more than preparation, and the will to work, so no, if you are unemployed isn't because you've created a world with bad memories that keep you from working (nor is it because you are lazy, as probably your own anxiety, and willingness to take just any job that assures you an income and a safe place to work, tells you).

This is not your doing. So, from here on (and this was the first key of the method), things got pear-shaped.

The strange reaction against the Rational Mind

This made me suspitious. Why would it be bad to think and analyze? The book likened thinking and rationalizing things to behaving like a statistics centered computer, and said basically, that nothing good came out of it. The problems people face come from "bad memories", and since the rational mind processes memories, it takes in bad data and work it into the thinking process, and so, future projections come out tainted with it. Ho'oponopono tells you to release memories with love, in a process that wasn't completely clear for me with this book and the cards, but it was like taking your shadow (like the hurts you have, your traumas), and releasing them with love, forgiving (yourself?), and... yeah, they are gone.

I find it hard to imagine that you can easily let go of memories, and become insensitive to them, but then I guess this would drive you to a longer sort of inner work, to face your demons until you overcome them. This would be good, and this was going to be a positive I would have highlighted from the process, but then, as I considered how analyzing and mentally processing the traumas was discouraged - and the very process wasn't clearly explained - I couldn't embrace it.

Now, this might work for some people, but I am a quite cerebral type of person, and I need to analyze, research and study a subject from different angles to understand it and appropiate it. For me, working with my shadow also means taking subjects that hurt me, and put them under the microscope for analysis. When I understand what hurts me, I see it for what it is, I find it easier to let it go permanently, or value it accordingly. If I were to act only on emotion, and force myself to "love" what causes me pain, it would eventually come back to haunt me. I know, I've been there already.

So yes, this was an "oh Hell no!" moment for me.

The Identity

This was a strange one too. The book held that people are part of the Divine, which I agree with. I mean, I'm Pagan, and as such, I know myself and everybody else to be part of Nature, the Universe, the Gods and everything around us. I know were are not separate from the Divine... but we are we. In Ho'oponopono it was like you are a part of the Divine, and that's it. You are not your profession, nor your opinions, nor your thoughts, your posessions, your religious believes... You are just a part of the Divine, so you should just... be that.

Now, yes, we are not JUST our profession or our opinions or our thoughts, but they are part of us, and often times they are part of how we represent ourselves, and if we represent ourselves so, it's because they are part of us. So the sum of our profession, opinions, thoughts, feelings, emotions, believes and so much more are also who we are.

For instance, I'm an economist, and a lot of myself and what I do swirls around that. My studies, my research, my interests, thee books I buy, the way I introduce myself, my dreams, my hopes and so on. But it's not the only part of me. I'm also an avid reader, and I love mystery books. And I'm also Pagan and a witch, so that plays also into who I am and how I conduct my life.

In my view, our identity defines much of how we decide to live our lives, and whether we are happy or not. Denying your many facets might not be conductive to happiness.

Achieving Peace

This was the most upsetting part for me. Peace is supposed to be achieved only when you let go of your non-identity identity, of your rational mind and rationalizing impulses, as well as all the bad memories. I wasn't sold on the idea (at all), but when I read a phrase that translates like "what would you rather have, your believes and opinions or peace?", I was livid.

The book often also refered to convictions as believes, so bear that in mind.

Now, think of all the movements that have made a difference in our society, which worked to improve it: the fights against segregation, the movements for the rights of women, the movements for the rights of workers, the very independence wars many countries fought. Were they less important than peace? Were those convictions and opinions and believes less important than peace?

Maybe this is too big-scale and the method should be thought only in person-size, but people also have their inner revolutions. Going from being an employee to a self-employed person, and start a business, and walk the walk and try to make ends meet requires of conviction, opinions and believes. It means loosing peace, and choosing to fight instead of staying in a place that's not satisfying anymore.

Perhaps it means to say that you should not put so much thought into your troubles, and make them the centerpiece of your life, but the wording troubled me greatly.

Is it for me?

I think I don't need to go further on on this, but no, this is not for me. And that's ok. It might be good for you, and even if you are not sure, you may want to give it a try and investigate it on your own, for your own opinion.

I'm happy I had the chance to learn about it, and most probably I'll use the cards as journaling cards. It also helps me to give me a topic to think about and work on understand. This is a method that some people choose and follow successfully, and even though it's not for me, it worth research it to understand better those for whom it work.

What do you think?

Happy Saturnalia

Another week went missing from my postings, so I'll do my best to make do this week. Though technically I did write because I wrote a contribution to the blog of a friend of mine. In Spanish though.

Source: Net of Light via Google

Just to update you on the matters of my life, my broken heart has been pretty much mended. He and I got together again and things changed the tone. I'm not sure where this thing will go, or if it will all go up in smoke again, never to meet again. I am at peace, though. Oddly, calmly at peace. Perhaps I have cried my heart out already and there is nothing more to cry. We talked and he did tell me that we shouldn't meet ever again, but then his signs were mixed. I did tell him in all honesty, that I will wait for him. I feel this sort of... red thread... bonding us. I still feel that we are the storm and the beacon. I also told him I could feel how I was descending to my coffin, the lid was closing on me as I closed my eyes, crossed my hands over my chest and set to peacefully wait.

I imagine that the particular image I conjured was disturbing because he rebelled against it, but I found that feeling, of closing myself in the peaceful solitude of a coffin rather comforting.

The sea is storming, flapping and retrieving further and further into the center of open waters. The beacon tands tall, wet and cold, waiting impassively, as it is called to do.

These days also mark the begining of the Feasts of Saturnalia, and from them I want to highlight this year the Reversal of Rules. Admitedly, I am not very versed in the Cultus Deorum, nor the Roman Traditions - I am an eclectic witch after all, and I follow my own heart.

According to what little I have read, this was a time of liberation, of shaking off the strict rules of society and chase happiness often also with silly jokes and indulging into role reversals. Masters serving slaves, women and men dressing in each others' raiment and so on.

For my own practice, I have lifted up the sense of liberation, of safely testing the crossing of boundaries and being a bit daring, something I find hard to do given my natural propensity to avoid risk. Within the light of Saturnalia, I can find a space to meditate on many things about my life and whether they could have been different, and what could they have been like. Yes, he also comes into play in my thoughts, as the counter part of my One, the other side of the coin that is my heart. In this freedom and reversal of the rules that guide my inner life, I review different paths and dare to think of the what-abouts that I consciously know will not work and are headed to nowhere. I give myself the space to mentally follow a path that might have a different outcome, one were friendship can survive, even if I know that the chance of that greatly diminishes if we keep seeing each other.

The times are mixed now, the god that has succumbed and gone under during Samhain is rising to life again, from Saturnalia to Yule, parting the womb of the Mother to step forward and claim the wilderness. And as the earthy womb is revolved, broken and softened for new life to come forward, so we step forward into the new year, the new decade and walk the path. Back we leave the warm, nurturing womb, the safe and cozy tomb, some of us naked, vulnerable and cold, others springing forward like Athena, in full armor, but all of us scared of what lies ahead.

But Saturnalia is for cheer, to make light of our worries and seek merriment. So enjoy, dance, drink and celebrate. Gather cheer and strenght for what is to come.

Express Love!

Mercury Retrograde is finally over, and I can't be happier. I won't blame the astrological phenomenon on the lagging of my posting (though I could), but let's just say that I am really happy it's over... for now. Yes, I have witchy plans to put in motion that are better done under clear skies and direct planetary influences. Ah, I do live being Pagan and a Witch, even when it has these pecularities. Then again, these all make life all the more fun to live.

Last week was also a bit of a tough week for me, because I had a lot of things lined up. Thesis pre-defense, my nephews and niece staying over for the weekend, my Mom's birthday, and then I lovely, surprise meet up with a dear friend, that left me emotionally charged. Last week I didn't go to yoga (I stared a few weeks ago), and I was also carrying around negative emotions about that.

Yoga: Yes, about that, quickly, what happened was that I was so happy with a new alignment yoga class that was taught on Tuesdays at 18.00 hours. Management decided to move it to 19.00 hours. For me, who don't live in the same city where the classes are taught, this meant getting home at the same hour I used to get home when I was taking German lessons. We all know how that ended, so that was not an option for me. I could go another day to another class, but the other classes were not of alignment, and I wanted alignment. So yes, I was a little bitter, mumbling troll under a bridge, upset by the change.

Anyway, back on track, I was already strained, but coping (or so I say), when I met with this dear friend of mine, who is going through a bit of a rough patch. And no, his yoga class wasn't moved an hour later, but he was having Mercury Retrograde lean in elbow first in his life, with all the other gods, goddesses and planets piling on like it's a rugby scrum. I was really, really happy to see him and spend time with him, though I am afraid I wasn't as useful as I could have been, have I had all my marbles in place.

As he unburdened his chest, I tried to convey often that he can deal with it all, he's strong enough, he has the resources he needs, he's smart enough, and that he can always draw strenght from the love of all those who surround him. Me among them. I did try to make this clear over and over, beacuse I'm afraid that Mercury Retrograde (I'm so not taking the blame for this, even if it is my fault) messes with my already strained emotions, and I ended up telling him things I probably shouldn't have. Like how deeply I used to dislike him when we were in college.

I did talked to him like it was the last time I'll see him ever, and so I opened up my ribcage and unloaded everything I felt he might need through the rest of his life. The exercise was so intense, that it left a mark on me, a print, and so I spent a couple of days after thinking about him and the message I transmitted. In the end, it all came concentrated in one word: Love.

Love

Many people guard the speaking out of this word quite jealously, and often fear or feel that it can be cheapened if used too much. Many also link this word, and the sentence "I love You", to a romantic declaration that must lead to marriage and forming a family. Fairly tales and stories in books and movies and series, also often sell us this idea of the "One", or the "True Love", and how there is only one real love and how lovely it is when someone has never known love and then finally finds love and feels it for the first time. Doesn't ring a bell? Well, how about the corny expression "I never felt this way before"?

In my opinion, these ideas put in people's heads a dangerous concept, which my itself degenerates the feeling and the word. If there is one love, and you fall in love with someone but then fall out of love, or that emotion ceases, you could end up feeling guilty and unworthy because a) you lost this important thing and there was only one of it, or b) you are so silly you couldn't see it wasn't the true one.

You see, love is like a muscle, and it's also multiple. There isn't one love or one true love, but many, many types of love. Also, love is quite tailored, and it's nearly impossible to love two people with the same kind of love. This doesn't mean that one is bigger or better than the other, but that each molds perfectly to the person you are loving. You love your mom one way and your dad another. You love each of your siblings and each of your friends in a different way. You also love each of your lovers and exes in a different way. And that's alright.

Maybe we should start saying it aloud more often, tell our friends that we love them, tell or family that we love them, and not me frugal or scared of the words. Use them! So far, there is no charge and no tax on expressing emotions or showing love. Hug, kiss, hold a hand, smile, say "I love you" and keep smiling.

Saying it more often strenghtens both the emotion and the ease to express it, and also to express other emotions. Strenghtens your contact with your own self, your feelings and your thoughts, and also strenghtens your bond with others.

Choose to say it when you feel it, not when you are expected to, and strenghten your honesty, both towards yourself and towards others.

Saying "I love you" often doesn't cheapen the emotion, saying it without feeling it, or to get something, does.

Reclaim love.

Blessed Litha!

Property of Stormberry

It's taking me time to write lately. Have I told you that I've embarked in the adventure of writing a novel with the express intent of having it published? Yes, there's that. That that went all good and nice for two days through which I literally psyched myself with non-stop Nickleback music to get me into the right mood for this particular story, and now I'm stuck. The story still keeps rolling inside me, and I can see it in my head - and it should be much easier to write than others, because this is based on my story with Feds - but no new words get typed down.

I'm staring at the weird spiked wheel in my bullet journal, and the goals I scribbled for 2019, and I'm so freaking behind the post-quota for my Hungarian blog that... yeah. That's happening. Other yearly goals and resolutions are also dragging and lagging behind, but what would be of life if we didn't leave behind some of those good intentions? Imagine a year in which you conquer all of your resolutions. The next year you would have to come up with NEW ones! Oh boy no, leave some to be recycled.

So, shall we talk about Litha? This is the sabbath of light, Midsummer's Eve, the day of the year when we have the most of sunlight, and the shortest night. Some parts of the world have no night at all. As a person drawn to the darkness, I find this depressing. Yet still, light has a place and a purpose in life, and this year for me, it means "bring things to light". It's time to face things, but also to recognize things, good things, we often don't want to admit to. Facing things often mean to us, having to admit to negative, uncomfortable aspects of ourselves or things and situations and circumstances that we do not want to deal with.

Light for me, also means the things we have shed and the things that have come to my life as result. The cycle ending with this last thesis I'm doing, the breaking with Starbucks and the journey I've started in search of my next coffeeshop-of-my-soul. Being also that my spirit has been making waves in the realm of romantic contacts, I think I'll also review that and whether I'd like to step on more firmly into the ground of dating. This is a tricky turf for me, because I know I don't want to have a relationship of any kind. I don't want routines, commitments, compromises, regular dates, meeting friends and family... I don't want anyone attaching to me, or starting to calculate me into their lives... because I won't return the favor. I don't do "couple". But being that I actually decided to write this story with Feds to exorcise him out of my system, I thought that maybe a somewhat steady influx of harmless fun could be a nice way to keep my head and spirit fed with... human entertainment. Yes, I know it sounds awful, but I really don't know how to explain it well.

You see, in a hook up or a fling, I kinda look for certain things. It's not just the sex, but also the conversation. A person can really be good in bed, but if their conversation is flat, superficial, boring, then I feel like I'm not fed. Like that happened with the physician I met last year: he was rather nice and socially a catch, but there wasn't really any sort of conversation I could follow with him. There has to be something in the brain, thoughts and connections and old books stored there, which they can recall and talk about.

Other people have other needs, but these are mine: food for the spirit, food for the body. And these are some of the things I bring today to light, in Litha, to contemplace, rejoice in them and decide how to work with them from here on.

Ides of March

First of all, let's celebrate the Ides of March and conmemorate the assassination of Julius Caesar. No, I'm not a member of the Cultus Deorum, mainly because a) it doesn't really go with me, and b) there is nothing as far from my nature as any sort of organized religion. And this inspite of the 75% of my gods being Roman. However, I bring forth the matter of the Ides of March and that fateful day of 44 B.C., because it is something that needs to be remembered.

I'm not very versed on Roman history (or any sort of history, really. I'm an economist, Jim, not a historian!), but from what I remember, (no, I wasn't there either), Julius Caesar was a laureated general of the Roman army, who brought much glory to the Empire and who managed to climb to power (somewhat also thanks to the legions loyal to him), and eventually reversed the republican structure of the empire and crowned himself as emperor (or Caesar). As his power grew and he was pushing the senators out of it, these found his actions unsettling and dangerous for the more "participative" form of government Rome had been advancing towards to (and themselves, let's be honest). And so, on March 15th of 44 BC, Julius Caesar was stabbed to death at the Senate.

Today's world showcases a number of powerful figures that also seek to grab power for themselves and dismantle check&balance mechanisms, take away the independency and power of other representatives and institutions, and silence or take away the power of the people they rule. A book I read recently from Madeleine Albright, titled "Fascism", gathers a recount of a handful of XX-XXI century rulers that have sought to absorbe the totality of State powers into themselves, erecting themselves as unquestionable sources of all justice and authority. After the harrowing events witnessed in the last century - and we may also add the horrors witnessed in this one - many understand the dangers of letting one person rule unchecked upon a nation. Furthermore, in a world as deeply connected as today's, political disturbances in one nation can easily ripple through the entire planet and disrupt many more.

However, as we conmemorate (those who do) this ancient religious day, in its great tragedy, we can also remember that it is also humanity's nature to rebel, to put a stop and seek to restore order. As Natura restores order in herself, Gaia regenerates and the Green Man sprouts and grows again, so humanity - as an undetachable part of nature - also follows this path. Dictators, tyrants and Caesar's rise up from time to time, but as humanity comes fed up, as a Senate we raise and strike them down (hopefully not through murder, though, but through law and/or pressure).

The mean is dark, I know, but as in Tarot the card of Death is one of change, I would like to offer this ancient, painted card to the world to remind them, on this day of blood, that we are the Senate and we are the ones that can change the things wee don't like about our countries and their politics.

Please, do feel free to correct me on any of the afore mentioned historical data, or expand on it. I'd love also to learn more about it.

Blessed Litha!

It's that time of the year again, when we celebrate another turn of the Wheel of the Year, and honor another Sabbath. "Sabbath": I have some issues with that word, don't you? I've seen is spelled as "sabbath", "sabat", "sabbatt"... I'm choosing to use "sabbath" because that's how I've seen it mostly spelled in my witchy books, but hey, if I'm mistaken, please let me know. But back to the topic :-D.

Source: WiccaSpain RITUALES
Found through Google.com

Today we celebrate Litha or Midsummer or Summer Solstice. You want to know something funny? Well, you know I have a Book of Shadows, right? Well, mine is a... practice-Book of Shadows because I started it when I wasn't entirely sure I would go Pagan. As result, my circle casting spell has Christian references, which I have striken out by now. The point is, in my Book of Shadows I separated pages for each sabbath, with the intention of writing something about each and my experience with it in time. If you were to flip through those pages (which you will never do, because, you know, Books of Shadows are personal), you'll find that I actually have "a lot" written and prepared for Imbolc and maybe for Ostara, but not for the rest of the sabbaths. My section on Litha is quite... empty. Yeah, that might reflect also in the kind of Pagan I am: one that starts the year really dedicated, and then ends it up with the general "let's just see what comes out of it" attitude. Hey, it's not only the generic Christians that do that! Pagans are people too, and yes, we can be lazy people too. Deal with it.

One thing I totally love about being Pagan is the freedom I have to live my spiritual path. No third parties preaching about what constitutes a good Pagan or a bad Pagan, what should you observe and avoid and so on. With no set book of instructions, I am free to follow my heart there whereit would lead me. As result, as I do my research - lazy or not, this witch loves reasearch, even though she may not dutifully write it down in her Book of Shadows, mind you - I can check on different experiences, different suggestions and then pick and choose my rituals.

In previous years I have reflected upon the sabbaths as milestones in a project. I believe I have post in this blog that reflect this thinking. Was it 2015, maybe? (Perhaps I should go back on them and copy those posts out into my Book of Shadows...) Though this leading idea remains in my rituals, for this year I was seeking to complete better my notes, and so I started researching on two lines: one, I wanted to get more information on elements traditional for Litha, particularly food types (in this sense, I'm so much more prepared for the Three Harvests, Yule, Imbolc and Ostara), and also getting more information on one of my gods, Mercury.

Source: Google.com

For the first part I roamed aimlessly here and there, and found information about using fresh garden produce, like veggies and fruits. Do I have the links, you'd ask? Nah, this witch FORGOT about writing those down. I tried to re-google it, but when has that ever worked? I know, I know. Anyways, now the thought is in my head, to use fresh fruits. That will be fun, because I thought of berries, so I'll sure will seek for strawberries, maybe some physallis and cherries. I think I may get a small cherry-pie or a strawberry cheesecake for tonight's ritual's cake. No information on particular drinks, BUT a kriek might be a good idea, wouldn't you agree? Ah, don't you love being Pagan? I sure do! :-D

In another site I found but can't reference because I forgot to save it, I read that Litha was a great time to reinforce your Path and reflect upon it. Also it's a great time to renew your bond with your gods. Aha! Great, I thought, because I was already thinking about researching more about Mercury!

Regarding my gods, I have gone through many sites and checked information (and saved other for later, though I don't exactly remember where I saved it?) as part of my exercise to get to know better the different faces and sides of the Divine. You may know this already, but I connect particularly with three gods: Minerva, Mercury and Neptune. Normally, in the Wiccan tradition, people tend to have a God and a Goddess. I am not wiccan, but I relay heavily on their guidance to go around walking my path. Think of it this way: I do my thing, but when in doubt I check with Wicca for ideas. Not to mention that, honestly, most of the available bibliography out there is Wiccan, so yes, this lovely religion is a fantastic support for all of us. Anyway, in my heart I have felt a connection with these three for a while, so I relate to them as my mean or leading or patron gods. However, how much I know about them? Not much.

Curiously, with Minerva and Neptune I also tend to relate to their greek counterparts (Athena and Poseidon), but not with Mercury. Also, with Minerva and Neptune, I'm clear about their symbols regarding animal figures I can use to represent them in my altar settings or generally in my home, but I've no such representation of Mercury, which is what spurred this quest. In this sense I have not found (so far) any clear indication of Mercury favoring a particular animal, such as Minerva has the owl and Neptune has the dolphins, but I have been reading more and more about him and find it curious how my life path has followed so closely on his realm. Exchange, language, commerce, Mercury is fascinating!

So, on this sabbath, I will take a moment to meditate and share some thoughts about the gods and with a special mention of Mercury, one of my patrons.

How will you spend your sabbath?

New Year and New Resolutions

I disappear from here some... three months and the whole thing changes! Wow, maybe this is a sign that I should be around here more often. Hn... nah. 😉Forcing  writing is never a good idea. Writing is a delicate process where if you force the inspiration then you ruin the thoughts. Do keep that in mind.

Through Google.com taken from
http://hallodeutschschule.ch/
wp-content/uploads/2015/10/
HalloDtschDues.png

Like for many people, 2016 was a mixed year for me. There were positives and negatives, but I think I'll decide to keep the good and learn from the bad. On the plus side, I started learning German, and I've gotten some advance. I get good grades, but my recent trips to Germany and Austria prove that grades don't really show what you can actually produce in real life, when facing real situations... like asking in a restaurant for a take away. I do have been able to understand more and speak more, but after a year, I still feel like my communication skills in this language still have loads of room to grow.

I also got my diploma in Accounting and got into the... well, I don't really know how to explain this, but like into the Association that allows me to practice Accounting. I also finished all the subjects I need to take for Finance, so this year I'll submit my project for my thesis. Yay!! So excited!!

I read about 36 books, which was over the goal of 24 books I had set at the begining of the year, and then I had this FABULOUS idea about reclaiming my time with myself and do the Letter Writing Monday Project, which I fully intend to carry on for 2017. As result of this fabulous thing, I finally worked through my pile of letters and replied to all of my penpals. :-) It felt amazing!

I kept going to the nutritionist and basically I've kept my weight all year with just minimal fluctuations, but all within the range of my ideal weight.

On the learning side, I learned more about my friends, people I consider my friends, and also about myself. I rediscovered the importance of giving yourself your place, and not to be afraid of claiming it back. Respect starts with you, and if you don't respect yourself you can't expect others to respect you. Don't push yourself to the side, don't be always accomodating to others, because if you give up so easily your requests, nobody will ever fulfill them. What do I mean? Things as simple as actually standing up and enforcing your right also be considered in the decision making, your choices and preferences also taken in account, and from time to time, others to accomodate to them, not always you accomodating to others. 2016 taught me that even I have to take stock of what I want and what I allow to happen.

I made so little to no exercise, that I also learned that, as I made time for Letter Writing and German, I must make time to do some exercise. This year I went, for the first time in my life, to skating. It didn't go very well. Well, it just didn't go. At all. BUT I made the effort and I want to keep trying. So I think I'll try and get myself a pair of rollerblades and practice some at home to get better stability - though ice skating and rollerblading are so different! - and then come back by the end of the year and give it another try. And  this time ask before hand if the "trainers rink" is open, because the regular one is one hell of a rink! >_<

I'd like to add yoga back into my routine and go back to the gym, maybe even go back to Archery, though I really have to find a way to fit all that into my available time.

I went quite well for the tracking of my finances, until the last... six weeks? Then it got off the wagon. The controlling of the budget was much more difficult, BUT that means I still have room for improvement.

Spiritually, I didn't do much, let go of my Pagan studies and practices, which have given me much solace, truth to be told. I haven't felt particularly Christian either, though that's the faith I identify with the most. I'm considering the possibility of trying out my Pagan side this year, maybe do a test, a Year and a Day of studying, as if to convert to Paganism, and see how I feel about it, how my relationship with God matures through the process and experiment how I feel as a Pagan. Solitary Witchcraft is an option, and though the Church excludes the possibility of multi-religiousness, this is something I feel as being part of myself. 

I learned also to be more watchful about my health, which I'll try and be better at this year, though that's something that scares me a little, but then, we are all like that with it, don't we?

I have not really made my New Year Resolutions, and many of m last year's resolutions went unfulfilled, basically because as the year went on, those were not the top priorities, so there's another thing to learn: how to plan for the year. I have a new planner this year, a new filofax, in a new size and with new possibilities. :-) Let's see what can I get out of it for 2017, shall we?

Rush and Muse and Whatnots

Well, I hope I don't really make a habit out of running late with my post, but then. this sort of thing happens, and it's not like the world ends because of it, right? So yes, what has been happening these days?

At The University

Well, there isn't really much I could tell you about that. After pretty much like... a month? Yeah, like a month - give or take - since the last forum of the seminar (this forum thing is basically a forum from four scheduled online, where the tutor published a question, we have a week to answer and then the professor has two weeks to grade), but - as per usual - it wasn't graded until the night before the last session or class, which was this past Saturday. Basically all of us - and I mean the whole group - did so-so, but then you can't expect anything else since it's really difficult to nail the right answer when it seems that the right answer is whatever opinion of a case the professor has, and not what you can prove as your opinion. It's even more difficult when it seems as if from forum to forum the opinion of the professor changes.

Adri and I have been working our asses off with the final project. We had a little break but then we've got the grade for the last advance - we are doing rather well with the advances - and so we started working up on it. Saturday after the session we stayed around to work some and did quite some progress. Some stuff needed to be reordered, and we filled up a table that the professor wanted to see, even though all the information (and more) was already in the text.

Adri and I have been feeling like the other two kids are leaning too heavy on our necks. It's like we do so freaking much and have to shepherd them around to get things done. It's kind of hard also how they don't seem to render the same kind of results as we do. Adri has been organizing the whole workflow and giving out directions, working really hard on the letters we must include while I've been compiling and formatting the previous three advances into one document, making the indexes, formatting titles, and then designing the slideshow background and the format of the content. Took care also of a larger load of findings, Financial Estates and conclusions. Adri was right there with me, step to step, like two oxes pulling the cart. And that's all I cana say.

I know both Ara and Serge have their stuff in life and it's not easy, but damned, it's the last effort and others also depend on them! They can get sad and overwhelmed and depressed all they want later on.

The Muse

I have never written as much and as fast as I had since September. Then, from the end of October on, I!ve been literally on fire! I found myself working on "My Liege" and turning an originally long, slowpaced story (like all of mine) into a fast paced, short chaptered story. It was going so fast I actually became desperate for a beta-reader. Not like I found one, mind you. The topic of the story is rather sensitive and difficult as it swings from very violent and gory to sweet and homely, so most likely it will be a story that really won't find many followers. Not like I mind, since I'm not writing with commercial purposes, just for my own entertainment, but yeah... very hard to beta-read.

However, as the University struck again, well, the Muse was forced on hold and now I wonder if I'll be able to pick up the story once I'm out and over with all this.

Whatnots

Kind of related but not, my friend Carrie has been acting strange, to the point where I've been questioning our friendship and if it will last any longer. She has been consumed by all sorts of issues that she keeps close to her vest, which she is entled to, but then, there's something about her, a shift in her demeanor that gives me the impression that a fracture in something has happened and now she'll be shifting away from me.

The thought first struck me with a dab of concern, as suddenly I was wondering about what would I do, how would I arrange my days without Carrie and the costant presence she had become. This lead me to realize that I'm actually none of my friend's best friend, since, well, my very peculiar nature. I'm more like a cat that spends time sporadically with others, rather than a dog that represents more permanent, constant presence in people's lives.

Then I realized that there's nothing to worry about. I like being alone, and if one friend leave, well, there will always be eventually a new one taking their place.

Pagan Festival

As a well deserved little break, and just because I love it so much, I attended Sunday to the Pagan Festival organized by Costa Rica's Pagan Alliance. I wasn't there as much as I would have loved to, nor did I partook of all the activities I had intended originally to, since I went with an acquinance who claimed to know nothing about Paganism and spent more time browsing around the artisan posts than paying attention to rituals.

I still enjoyed myself very much and met with dear friends. Also had the chance to talk a little with Costa Rica's Cultus Deorum, Tribvs Opalina. Last year I missed their ritual and I wanted to check it out this time, but due to the time we arrived there I couldn't. But next year I sure as hell will attend! What can I say? Romans strike my fancy more than the Hellenians - though my friend Athenea (I like to refer to her like that) is, as you can imagine, Hellenic.

The guy I talked to would be the Cultor, as they call it, and we shared a couple of thoughts on the matter. I loved it how open and sharing all of it was. In a very university-like style, he was quick to share knowledge, and also had for sale copies of books hard to get (clones) and DVDs with Roman music and all sorts of Roman and Witchcraft inspired documentries and series. I found it sweet, to be honest, how he put his own books up for sharing, even if for a price, but knowing the cost of reproduction, it was easy to guess he was hardly making any profit from it.

One thing I really love about Pagan Festivals is the richness of them. People from different religions gather and expose their faith to anyone willing to learn of them. Artisans share their art and there's a wonderful openness as Wiccans, Hellenics, Romans, Druids and Asatrus come together respectfully to share their views. None of them shy away from a ritual or lock arms in Celtic dances.

The most curious and beautiful things are showed, and you can walk home with mead, Roman bread and several pieces of jewelry you'll never see anywhere else. It made me smile to remember this guy I went out with recently, who once mentioned how he found it fascinating that I always wore something so "random". By random he actually meant absolutely unexpected and never seen. I held in my hands galaxies, a moon, a bottle with stones and an owl and a life tree blooking with red stones, and I thought to myself: "it's the result of my wanderings for paths unwalked by the masses that I am so filled with beautiful and unseen treasures".

Blessed Lughnasadh!

Source: meetup.com

The time of the year has come, when we celebrate the first results of our work. Yes, it's the first harvest, a celebration of bread and grain, when we first start to see the yields of our many efforts. Before we even break under the high Sun, before we get disheartened for working so much and maybe not seeing anything "of use", Mother Nature sends forth the first results, and we can see, that yes, what we have put out has returned to us.

This celebration, for me, is about the first yieldings of our work, be it a suficient work or not. It gives us a peak of what's to come in the next two harvests. It's kind of interesting how this coincides in time with the first and second semesters. As August comes, you already know how good your work was in the first semester and whether you need to improve in the second. Schoolwise, in those places where school years start in September, as August starts, students have settled in already about the end of the previous year and now they can start seeing the results of ther efforts. Not only for the grades that they already know but now, but it's a great moment to make balance of how have we studied, how have we worked and what could be improved. I mean here not only to study harder, but maybe also, not to obsess so much about school and learn to have the needed down time to have a happy life, a life into which the results of school are well welcomed.

I'm midway through my graduation seminars, and I indeed learned a few things. I could be moe organized about my time, I could study more efficiently, and when I make a program and stick to it, things come out wonderfully. I've been a little chaotic lately about my finances, but I'm dealing with it already. It sets me back  some on my very tightly knit plans, but yes, the lesson here is: "Hey girl! Live a little! It's OK!". Know your measure, because if you have plans, you shouldn't be the one stone in your own road towards getting to them, but it's ok to loose your corset too. So it will take a little bit more of time, so what? There's more time than life, anyways, right?

But then, it's time to get back on track, and you should learn to do it too, before it's too late. As part of this, for instance, I've got back on track with my personal accounting, and yes, though in debts still, it feels good to know I've gone through all my bills, all my vouchers and set it all. I'm ready to continue my year with a firmer grasp on my wallet.

Source: www.vogue.in

One thing that this harvest brought to me - through some videos I've been watching - is a renewed interest in skin care and hair care. I decided to be more involved with my skin, get back to my morning and evening regimes and start making use of the many facials I've bought. I have a Brightening Moisturizing Mask by L'Occitane, which I've purchased a while back and never got to use! Hell, and that thing wasn't cheap either!! So I decided to make a routine for myself, a weekly plan for facials, including this one twice a week (I need to use it up before it expires), and then one day for a wonderful grape facial by Oriflame, and another for an aloe vera facial, also from Oriflame. I've also decided to start making a closing up towards make up again, which makes sense not so much because I'm 40, but because I've a make up bag full of it and eventually I'd like to use it... before I end up again, throwing out forty pieces of lipstick because they are too old and I didn't even used them. So here I am, googling and learning about the differences between BB and CC creams, and deciding that, for a no-make-up person like me, starting out with a little of BB or CC cream would be just perfect. Lets build up from there on, though I don't think I'll ever end up like a make up diva, with full on make up and a plastic face so different from my own, butI guess this could be a nice start.

Hair care used to be a huge part of my life, back when I had waist long locks, but in the last years my only hair care was brush it and use shampoo. Yes, that was it. No conditioner, no hairdrying, no creams, no nothing. just that. Though I still avoid any heat source around my hair, and conditioner, I'm getting close again to regenerating, moisturizing and anti-frizz products, I'm also trying to wear it undone as often as possible, so it doesn't break as much, but I'm also thinking about investing in a couple of wigs, so I can give my hair a break from now and then, and go to work while protecting it from the elements. But that's a little further ahead.

Finally, a sad piece of news: my beloved cat, Hyperion, passed away this Wednesday. It seems he was poisoned. Well, you sure can guess how deeply sad this makes me. Strangely, though I cry every time I watch a Disney or a Pixar movie, or any time I see someone else cry, when facing loss, I only cry when I'm alone, and it disturbs me to cry my pain in front of others. So I've cried for my friend, my familiar, my dear Hyperion, and did it alone. He was the greatest, most beautiful and gentle cat I have ever had the honor to meet. A true sweetheart, always so tender and friendly, and loved to be taken care of. He could stay in your lap receiving loads of petting like no other cat I had ever known. He had a way of looking at you and conveying what he felt, what he wished to say. His eyes could make you feel loved, and the way in which he sometimes leaned into ou, particularly when you were carrying him, made you feel like it was only the two of you in the world. Hyperion was a real charmer. His death was not only undeserved, but an act of cowardice and unworthy of any living being. An innocent cat, loved and admired by many, whom at least had three different human households (I like to think we were his primary humans), all of which will sourly miss him. His death has brought mourning, for he wasn't an animal, like many like to think, he was a family member, someone who had earned his place in the life of many, humans and other felines alike, and who can't be replaced. I guess I've told you before that Hyperion had a cat-wife of sorts, Cirmi, who was the mother of his kittens in 2011. Those kittens died and she got terribly disturbed, living now with serious traumas that make her to become nearly obssessively attached to cats she lives with. Well, with Hyperion's death, Cirmi has been showing again the same restless, desperate behavior she displayed with the loss of Tsuki and Nini, her children.

We buried Hippie (Hyperion's nickname) in the backyard, exactly at the spot he loved the most. He leaves behind a life that touched many lives with love. The harvest those who have taken his life will be one of sour grapes, for I believe that the pain he has caused to others will seep into his days and turn to ash the food in his mouth. As for me, memories of Hippie plague my mind, I remember him hopping on my bed and demanding attention while I tried to blog or study in a way that commanded undivided attention in the most lovely and irresistible of way. I'll get over it, learn to live with Cirmi and Mûzli, loving them for who they are instead of spending every second sad because they are nothing like Hyperion was.

Blessed Litha!

Today is Litha in the Pagan calendar, and that makes today the longest day of the year. Most of sunshine, I believe, but not here, since it's all dark and rainy in here. So, though the day is clouded, it's still the year's longest day, the one with most light. What do we learn of it? For me, Litha represents work, the hard work you do to get what you want. It's all that commitment, effort that goes into making your dreams come true. Also, on its own, this hard work isn't just a chore, but a joy in itself. Yeah, yeah, that sounds a little like those religious preachings about how sacrifice is a joy and yadda-yadda-yadda, but hear me out (though I have probably said this a million times just on this blog), hard work is - well - hard (it wouldn't be hard work otherwise, duh!), and though it isn't always joyful, there's a certain satisfaction you get when you are doing it, because you are doing it. Like when you are at the gym and you push through your routine, and though your goal is to improve your body, when you manage to nail some movements, or like in yoga, when after some weeks (or months, depends on your body) you manage to do that position that seemed so freaking hard.

A rainy Litha says to me that even though things might seem gloom, the joy of the effort is still there. So, it's still the longest day of the year, it's still the one with the most of light. What I take from this day is that circumstances shouldn't stop you. Things will happen and will pass, but what you do, the effort you make to make your dreams reality, in spite of all that piles against it, it's what matters. I think today is a wonderful, wonderful day for Litha... and an awesome rainy day for staying at home and curl up with a book and a hot cocoa. :-)

Blessed Walpurgis Night!

Well, finally I'm posting ON a Pagan Sabbath. Well, is Walpurgis Night a Sabbath, or should only Beltane be considered the Sabbath. Be it as it may, hey! It's Walpurgis Night! I would have loved to be home and "celebrate" it all by my own - as my pagan celebrations usually go like - with, you know, some pagan music, a little makeshift altar to celebrate, a glass of wine (I'm out of Blue Moon and Samuel Addams, so no beer, and I can't find any kriek in here), and maybe a slice of bread for cake or something of the sort. Some meditating, so goofing all by myself and so on. I wonder if my Pagan friends are celebrating this night on some fun way, like bonfires, lots of booze, some naked or half-naked dancing and goofing. I'd totally be into celebrating with a bonfire on the beach, at night, with the low rumble of the waves humming all around us.

Then again the weather isn't very gracious these days in here, with the rainy season coming in and bringing afternoon showers and hail sometimes. Oh, you know what would be awesome? Celebrating taking a loooong bath surrounded by candles! Or maybe I just want to soak in a little, surrounded by scented candles and either listening to music and reading some, or watching TV while sipping some wine.

Walpurgis, well, Beltane, is all about fertility, happiness, enjoying and celebrating life and "prosperity", not in the sense of richness - or at least I don't interpret it that way - but the abundance of what we do, what we make, what our work produces. These couple of weeks and days have been hard and busy, full of work both at the office and with the University, with hardly a moment to do anything else. In a way, I'm kinda thankful my brand new tablet broke, so I don't have to be bothered by e-mails and messages when I had to deal with more pressing matters. Yeah, I've been neglecting social media and friends quite hardly, but then, that's the heat of our work, and that's the fire of Walpurgis, the celebration of Beltane. Wouldn't you agree? Better busy than bored!

Time in and out of the Office

It's getting close to 10 pm and I find myself fixing the legs of my cord pants for tomorrow. This is one of those things when you are glad you know how to sew, and that your mom (or someoone else) taught you how to sew hems. It's a last minute fixing that you need to make things easier the next day. And it's Sunday, tomorrow is Monday, first day of work of the week, and I'm spending my already last hours of weekend preparing for work. Shall I say, already working?

This week has been quite some piece of work. From stressful meetings, and expectations, to some incredible procrastination about my own projects, it has all been upside down. I must make sure to get back on track this week, regarding both my studies as well as my tracking of my spending, and setting my files up to date. My letters are also starting to accumulate, so I have to find the time to fit those in my schedule as well. Sometimes it's all a matter of not being in the right mood to do things, but for some things, well, you don't need a "right mood", you just need to do things, and so I'll do my best to do things and get them going. Nothing better for the soul than a well working, oiled life machinery. Oh, how steampunkish of me!

The thing with life is that, sometimes, the different spheres of your life seem to collide. Not so much like your job gets into your social life or something, that your coworkers are also your friends or that your social life takes a toll on your family life or love life, but more like there's a part of your life that overwhelms you so much you can't let it go for a second and thus it starts affecting all other spheres of your life. This year I realized, among other things, that my work life consumes a great part of all the other spheres of my life. Thus, as a project (along with blogging more and trying to journal more), I decided to use my Witches' Datebook as a work-free journal of sorts. Not a journal like a diary, but maybe more like a calendar or almanac... I really have no idea how to properly name it, but it's my "record book", where week after week I write down the appointments I have that are not work related, or the plans I have about my friends, or exercise, studies. I don't write much about them, and make sure to use lots of colors to make it fun hand pretty. The point of it isn't to use it as a planner, but since I usually consult the datebook daily for all sorts of funny information (Pagan festivities, color correspondences, moon phases, astrological information, etc.), I also get to check a planner on daily basis that helps to remind me that my life is more than the hours I clock at the office.

Sometimes we are so sucked up by one sphere of our life, that we forget we are complex creatures, souls with many faces and many lives, and so, when things are hard in one sphere, it's not all of our life what pends on that one thread, because we still have many other spheres where we might be strong, that might remind us how great we are doing, how many blessings we have. Shall we remember that and keep that in mind? My Witches' Datebook is the one doing the soul magick for me.