New Year and All That

Property of Stormberry.

Are you a New Year enthusiast? No? Well, a lot of people are not. I am, before you ask me, for many reasons, which I'll tale you about in this post. A lot of people are often excited about the New Year because it means parties and usually some of the best parties of the year. I still remember some of my most memorable New Years, spent with friends, or with family or even alone. I remember a bitter sweet one too, spent in Paris - my first time in Paris - and though then I wasn't feeling very happy towards the end, as I remember it, that was also an amazing New Year. (That's also when I realize how super nice French people can be when you make the effort to speak in French.)

However, yes, a lot of people get grumpy about the New Year, specially in pandemic-laced times like the ones we are living right now, and hurl things at the rest like "New Year is just another day", and "nothing will magically get better just because of it", or "it's not even a real New Year because there is a distortion that can't be corrected with the Skip-Year". Yes, I move in strange circles sometimes, but hey, I'm a witch, and I have learned that I tend to attract the weird.

So, the answer your questions, those are all either partially true statements or... not even that important. The point is that they are beyond the point. I mean, if New Year is just another day, hey, so are Saturday and Sunday, and yet we call them "weekend", and have "weekend plans" and all that. And what about Holidays? And no, nothing will "magically get better"... if you don't believe in magic, and if you do, congratulations! Then you know that you are the one who does the magic and the time of the year can give you the push to work the magic and make things better. Oh, and magic (or magick), isn't easy-peasy either. Any witch worth his or her salt would tell you that magic takes a lot of work, a lot of research, a lot of concentration and loads and loads of practice. So yes, actually this can "magickally get better", with all it entails.

Now, you can have your reasons for loving or liking or looking forward to the New Year, and I would love if very much if you decided to share them. Here, I will give you some of my own, and also some of my thoughts on the matter... because, you know (not so) daily thoughts and random ideas. :-)

This post will look somewhat different from all my other posts, and I know that because I put in the "topics" I would like to touch on before hand. I'm trying a new thing here, so bear with me. :-)

Get a New Planner

Property of Stormberry

Ok, I use a filofax and I do bullet journal now, but still, getting a new planner is an experience I love so, so much! I'm totally in love with my A5 Ochre Filofax Malden, and I doubt I'll ever change it... unless it falls apart, which I hope it doesn't. Still, I love looking at the options and sometimes I imagine getting a Filofax Malden in Pear (also in A5) because I really, really, REALLY love green, and since I moved from Personal size to A5 thanks to my lovely friend Tina, I think I'll also stay with this size... even if the planner doesn't fit in my smaller bags. I think I've found that elusive sweetspot known as Planner Peace. Was it planner-peace or planner-heaven?

Anyway, this is part of my New Year excitement. I'm not one to sit down monthly or weekly to draw up calendars and do all that shebang, but I do the whole year at once, and so, the New Year and days around it are perfect for that. I make my calendars, plan my trackers, decide what stays, what goes, select some "themes" when I want to, and along with my resolutions, I decide which subjects I would like to pay more attention to. For instance, one of my resolutions for this year is to blog more (aren't you happy about that?), and so, I decided to make a sort of tracker for posts. A simple one, mind you, just marking on a grid whether I posted or not.

On top of that, I also use (since 2012, I believe) a Witches Datebook by Llewellyn, which helps me with my witchy practice, and has a lot of stuff I find quite interesting. I'm linking you here the Datebook I'm currently using, at the site of Llewellyn, but normally I buy mine at Amazon.com. AND with my Witches Datebook, I also buy a Witches Calendar, also my Llewellyn. They go together so well, and though you can use only one, using them together makes perfect sense. I have tried to buy other things, specially a Herbal Almanac (I've been years into trying to tap my more herbal side, even though I'm really awful at gardening), but I just don't have the time to read and peruse so many stuff. Maybe some other year. Maybe I'll make that a resolution sometime. Who knows, right? :-D

I'm also much into calendars, and I like to have them almost in every single wall, specially because many have really pretty pictures. Or so I search them so. So I spend time around the end of the year and beginning of it, looking for pretty calendars. I usually go for calendars related to Art Nouveau, coffee, or maybe something that interests me in the moment. I'm not so much into calendars of dogs or cats or cars or nature. So that's also an exciting process.

Now, because we live in a social world where years are measured in a certain way, calendars are more often than not, also offered specially in certain times of the year. So is with datebooks, planners and such. So, if you are into calendars, this is the time when you can get them. This is also the time when many stores and organizations also gift planners and calendars. Isn't that exciting? If you are not much into calendars because... whatever reason, maybe one day you may like to try finding one you like. There are so many options! Millions and millions of themes, pictures, photographs, artistic, funny, nature related, architecture... pretty much, whatever strikes your fancy. And not only about the pictures, you can also find calendars that focus on the phases of the Moon, or full of astrological or astronomical data, or with space for planning (bigger squares or lines), even calendars for families (for each day you have a number of columns, usually five, for the plans of each family member), which can be used to keep track of multiple things, like family-work-studies, or to track events in social media, and real life.

And this is the time to get them. Would you miss out on the fun?

New Plans Too

With a New Year, certain new plans must be made. In Costa Rica (where I currently live), school usually starts in February or sometimes in January. This is because back in the day, when coffee production was huge here, all able hands were needed for the harvest, which happens (depending on the area) usually around November, December and January too. In some places it can start as early as October also, for what I heard. So, traditionally, children went to the coffee plantation with the parents to help them with the harvest. As it was desirable that the children were sent to school also, the school year was moved around it, and it stayed that way. So, as result, with the begining of the year, we start also a new chapter of learning. Further education programs and so, often also follow this yearly cycle, so the new year is presents also a chance for people to enroll into a school or a program to further their education, and these are part of the new plans you can make, at anytime, but in the New Year, you might be more aware of them or even feel more motivated to take a new path.

Our society works also in cycles determined by the year: businesses and entertainment places launch their new yearly programs and even fashion has new seasons. A new year can set a new theme, a new purpose, a new plan. This is when the new calendar events are presented, and if you are into it, this is when you can check for your expected book launches (I already have one I'm waiting for on April 20th), or concerts, seminars, movies and what-have-you. This is when you can pencil it in your calendar and plan to save for it.

As a witch, the New Year also means planning for a new round of Sabbaths, which in my case also means to make sure I have enough mead, because, hey, I'm that kind of a witch. :-) But you don't have to be a witch to have fun with the New Year (though it helps, honestly), because this is also when you can check your calendar and see when are those blessed long weekends and you can start planning on the trips you can make. And what now when travelling is being restricted due to the pandemic? Well, you can still make plans! The New Year and all it's happy, excited, dreamy energy is perfect to come up with creative new ways to make things amazing. Remember, when there's a will, there's a way.

The idea of cycles can have a powerful effect on people. For once, instead of feeling like you are drowning in a constant of days over which you have no power, facing things that are bigger than yourself, when you are able to chop up the time continuum into easy year-sized bits, you actually get a better sense of control. You can measure what you have achieved, how long have you gone, and you also get the feeling that you can correct what you did wrong. It doesn't matter that you make resolutions you then don't keep, what matters is the learning process. If you want to keep your resolutions, hey, work on adapting them. If you don't keep them, but don't care because the fun is just in making them and then see if they come to pass by themselves, have fun then!

You know how many of my 2020 resolutions I have achieved? Less than a half. And do I worry? Oh Hell no! That way I alreay have half a list of resolutions to recycle! Gara see the good side of it, right? By the way, one of my resolutions for 2020 was to relearn to play piano, which would have had happened if I had a piano, which I would have had if I my house would havee been finished in time, and I would have not been a victim of bank fraud and would have not lost my money. The resolution is still a valid one, and though the moving into my home is very, very near, buying my piano might take some time, but I don't worry. That's a dream for the future. I'll just listen to Fleetwood Mac albums in the meantime.

The Seasons

Though we have two or four seasons (depends on where you live), a New Year gives you a chance to have a new experience with each of them. There are places like Central America (and I believe most of the places in the Tropics of Cancer and Capricorn), where the seasons look pretty much the same, and we often have all the fruits and veggies in all seasons. Still, each season has its own delights and there are some fruits and veggies or some celebrations that happen only on certain seasons. We have also high season and low season, and again, though the current pandemic situation might make it hard for us to visit other countries or beaches and mountains, there is always something around to enjoy. Blooming of trees and flowers in the garden, or our plants in pots, the way the Sun lights the sky at certain angles, the scents in the air, the sound of the rain that's so particular to each time of the year, the heat, the cold, and the chances it brings to wear this or that outfit. Even at home! Come on, you know you can make this fun!

In today's Occidental society, we don't use to celebrate the seasons, and though small groups of people might choose to celebrate the seasons, or you do it individually, the collective, global effort is centered into the one night of the year. Besides, if we had a day marked for celebrating the changing of each season, naysayers would have four more chances to bitch about it. Once is enought, I would say. Yet still, in order to experience a given season again, a whole year has to pass, and so, celebrating a New Year also means that we will again have the seasons, and the chance to live them, maybe even better than the last time.

Anyway, as nearly the whole planet celebrate the New Year the same day, I believe that all that festive and happy energy tend to go around the globe and make someting super-positive for all of us. We all feed on this awesome energy of hopes, and dreams and new beginings. Yes, there are people who get depressed, that happens too, and also with Christmas, and so on, but there is also a lot of this amazing energy floating around, and if you want and can, why not take advantage of it and ride the wave of hopes and celebration?

You know, maybe this year, just like the last, will be hard in this regard, and we won't be able to travel and go out all we want, but that means also less conmuting time and more time for calm and for planning new, cool ways to do something fun. It's maybe time to learn to be comfortable with ourselves, inside, without looking for the external excitement. Instead of going out and looking for fun and inspiration, how about you invite it in? Maybe then, when we can go outside again, freely, we could also bear gifts for the world. Don't you think?

The Social Thing

Though it might be arbitrary, a year has ended and another has began, and so we measure with it not only time, but also things measured with time: years of life, years in a relationship, years of experience. In the end, though we are individuals, we live in society, and even if there are many things that need improving and changing (I'm not going there now), we are also part of this rhythm. The years pass, and we have again and again the chance to push forward. In this period, peppered with seasons and landmarks and celebrations and holidays, and days of remembrance of milestones of the history, year after year we get the chance to work on our projects, make something of them.

A number of years pass in order to elect our leaders, in countries where there are (working) democratic governments, and in the years in between, we can evaluate how they manage the power they have been given.

Years also mark the time for bonuses, in those jobs where such premiums are given, or also mark the time were an extra monthly payment is given - such as in Costa Rica, where in December we are paid double - but years also mark special offer times, like the Black Friday, for instance, or the January sales.

In the end, a lot of things in the social life are arbitrary, but are conventions that end up marking the life around us. The sense of time and the lotting up of it, in the end, define much of what we make and how we do it. Years are instrumental to define when you start school, when you become of legal age, when you can retire (in countries where there are provisons for that), and so, why not celebrate it?

Go on, celebrate it and make the most of it, and have a happy 2021!

Reaching My Ideal Weight

This week something incredible happened to me. I actually didn't expect this to happen - so soon at least -  but now I'm here: after some 16 months I've reached my ideal weight. Wow! That's like... mindblowing! I mean, yes, of course, that was the point of going to the nutritionist and suffering through the Hell Weeks and all those regimes, and then dictating my meals by carefully measured monthly plans, but then, when you arrive to the result... How can I tell you this? I certainly don't look like a runway model or anything, but now I look at my body and think: fuck bitch, we are so freaking hot! I fit again in jeans I couldn't put on a year ago, and I'm parading a body with a weight I haven't had in fifteen years! My confidence is again up high but I'm also being careful and watching what I eat, scouting already for options to exercise since the programm at the Metropolitan Park I've been attenting will be suspending activities shortly, hopefully to resume them next year.

To give you a little idea of my progress, in 16 months I've lost about 25 pounds or a bit over 11 kgs, and my measurements went down in total 41 cms or 16 inches. In those 16 months I also learned about healthy eating, laying down carbonated drinks and invite veggies to my plate, and to keep all my meals instead of skipping them and eating whatever whenever I came about it. In those 16 months I also learned discipline to exercise, and though I've been slacking big time with archery - a combination of lack of time due to the unversity and sometimes just not feeling like doing it - I've been careful to make sure and put some 30 minutes of cardio in my daily routine.

I've learned that eating healthy doesn't mean to stop eating, or declaring war on carbs, or embracing the veggan lifestyle, or eating kale or whatever other fashionable veggie or fruit like crazy. Being healthy isn't either a cult to water drinking or weird stuff like that. Eathing heathy is finding the right balance for your body, learning that you need everything: carbs, proteins, dairy, veggies, fruits and fats, and also that you need to move your body, find those moments when you can squeeze in a little bit of exercise. Just to give you an idea, my day is packed and I tend to be really tired by the time I finish at the office. Sometimes I manage to go to the gym, where I have to drive, but some others I don't. Sometimes I have to come home and work on a project for the University, or I meet up with friends. What I do is that I wake up 30 or 40 minutes earlier and use an old elliptic machine we have here and then do some ab work.

Other times, when I'm meeting my friends close to my gym, I drive to the gym, do my routine and then meet them. The gym is a great way to spend your time while waiting, instead of shopping or sitting at a café stuffing your face with sweets, for instance.

I've reached my ideal weight and I'm very happy, but my work isn't over. I still have to work on lowering my  body fat - which is at a good level, but could be better - and then I'd like to lose a bit more of weight - under the supervision of my nutritionist! - and aim for a fitter body. :-) Now I can aim for a bit of muscles.

This journey has been amazing, but it's not over yet. I have new goals now and I'm full of hope and enthusiasm about succeeding in this. And I think this should be celebrated. ^_^

Blessed Litha!

Today is Litha in the Pagan calendar, and that makes today the longest day of the year. Most of sunshine, I believe, but not here, since it's all dark and rainy in here. So, though the day is clouded, it's still the year's longest day, the one with most light. What do we learn of it? For me, Litha represents work, the hard work you do to get what you want. It's all that commitment, effort that goes into making your dreams come true. Also, on its own, this hard work isn't just a chore, but a joy in itself. Yeah, yeah, that sounds a little like those religious preachings about how sacrifice is a joy and yadda-yadda-yadda, but hear me out (though I have probably said this a million times just on this blog), hard work is - well - hard (it wouldn't be hard work otherwise, duh!), and though it isn't always joyful, there's a certain satisfaction you get when you are doing it, because you are doing it. Like when you are at the gym and you push through your routine, and though your goal is to improve your body, when you manage to nail some movements, or like in yoga, when after some weeks (or months, depends on your body) you manage to do that position that seemed so freaking hard.

A rainy Litha says to me that even though things might seem gloom, the joy of the effort is still there. So, it's still the longest day of the year, it's still the one with the most of light. What I take from this day is that circumstances shouldn't stop you. Things will happen and will pass, but what you do, the effort you make to make your dreams reality, in spite of all that piles against it, it's what matters. I think today is a wonderful, wonderful day for Litha... and an awesome rainy day for staying at home and curl up with a book and a hot cocoa. :-)

Blessed Imbolc

I'm trying to start this year a little more aware of my spirituality, however, Imbolc comes and I don't feel really like making circle or anything. I read what this year's witch datebook suggests, but it kinda doesn't resonate with what I feel or I need at the moment.

Imbolc is the awakening of the dormant new life, moment of birth and nursing, more than the beginning, the moment when the new life gets strong enough to start rising its head. What does that bring to my mind? Well, the idea of the plans we have made and how we have been putting them in motion. Isn't this a great moment to review our New Year Resolutions and see how are we going with them? I'm a little slow on the book reading front, have had some drawback with my finance watching, and nearly fell back with my blogging. I'm again lagging back with my penpalling, but this is still the beginning. Imbolc gives me chance to review and improve. Why our Christian calendar doesn't give us this moment of review as well? It's so curious also that our professional, "civil" live also neglects often this. We have a set goal and then a summarizing review at the end of it, but how often we have check ups along the way? To make sure we are keeping our direction, reviewing the availability of our goals, the reasonability of our expectations? Wouldn't it be better for all of us if he had this early check up point in our plans? So we can take a moment to think about what we have set before us, take a moment to straighten our direction or change it for something that's really closer to our chest?

If I may, I'd like to suggest a moment to think about your plans, whether they are really what you want, and how well are you doing in fulfilling them.

Blessed Mabon!

It's that moment, the moment where you stare at the screen, white and pristine, and your ideas stand on tiptoe in your head, at the edges of your fingers like not daring to jump into the cold water of the pool.

The seasons have changed, the wheel of the year has turned. I'm not surrounded by the auburn shades I long for since so many years. I'm surrounded by buckets of green, crisp air, seasonal allergies (related to the weather and the change of it) and large amounts of rain. Rain comes down so hard, it often causes trouble with the traffic. A regular 45 minute trip (which in the morning you complete in 20 minutes, mind you), becomes a 2 hour ordeal that can extend even longer if the rivers raise up so high they wash over the bridges... and they have. It's amazing how a tiny rivulet squeezing between the stones 30 feet under can put up 40 feet in a matter of hours, covering bridges and washing into buildings.

Today we celebrate Mabon, the Witches' Thanksgiving. Marked by the autumnal equinox, we stand today on a day when day and night are perfectly balanced. As such, Mabon could be considered also as a celebration to reflect on the good and the bad, and take a review of these opposing forces in one's life.

So, what has been of me, other than not blogging as regularly as in previous years? (Yeah, "at all" is accurate, but I did blog previously!) Well, I published my first Sterek fanfic on AO3, which doesn't compare to publishing an actual book or anything, but still, if you know me, you should know how much planning and teeth-pulling goes into one such publication for me. Well, my two tormented beta-readers should know: I came quite close to flogging their backs to have them review each chapter before publication in time... according to my maniac schedule. So, were is this thing of beauty and what's Sterek? You don't need to know, and I won't tell you.

This year my life has been making interesting changes. First of all, I continued studying Accounting at this D-Education University we have here. Have been doing rather well, but also have come rather disappointed with things I have found in the system. Not once I felt like I wasn't acquiring real knowledge, but almost serving as an excuse for someone to get paid without having to do any work for it, or show any knowledge. It did worry me about the type of accountant I would end up being. Thankfully I already have a diploma and a good job, but still, I want to be able to do accounting, I want to know, I want to understand, but as the last classes line up and I'm reaching the end of this, my head feels completely empty. This isn't how it's supposed to be, is it? You are supposed to feel like you know something, anything. I remember finishing economics and feeling much more prepared, much better filled with knowledge, while now, two courses away from the final seminars (two closing seminars that take the place of the thesis) and I honestly feel like I know nothing, like I wouldn't know where to start! It shouldn't feel like this, should it?

Things at my job changed again too, for the best. My time serving as an Economics Adviser for our Legal Team was slowly reaching a  culminating point. Though they were all nice, I started missing working with numbers, talking numbers and having people that understood that. At one point I felt like looking into a deep cliff, desolated at the idea that I would no longer work with formulas again, that my life would be reading over legal mambo-yambo, searching desperately for figure, a number I could calculate into something. The outlook of a life where my only chance to actually work some numbers would come from accounting homework was... bleak. I am a woman of numbers, I need numbers to keep my brain working! And not the copy-paste type but the type that requires calculation and research.

It happened then, that mid- year my former boss called me with an offer to come back with logistic conditions I could simply not refuse (not to mention the promise of waking up my brain again), and so the plotting to return me to my boss came back in motion. My boss in the Legal Team took the separation quite well, perhaps because in previous months I had mentioned her how I missed numbers and how I wished I could do something more on that line. The process of my returning to my boss (not to Moron Lady, mind you), now in the Financial Department, and finally becoming part of the Finance Muscle of the company was rather slow, but constant. Again, I was floored to discover that both my boss and another guy who knows me from a project I worked in, had talked so high about my work to the big bosses, that once again quite an impressive reputation preceeded me as I became part of the team. Can only hope I'll live up to the expectations of everybody!

This thing made me realize once again something I have experienced more than once at work, and that refutes what others say: Good Work, more than Politics, Gets Noticed.

As you know, I'm not the easiest, smiliest person at the office. I'm not the quickest nor the most complying one. You wouldn't say I'm the one you can go to with a request, because I'm happy to do favors, or I can find quick solutions. No, I'm the one that does the legwork, the Hound that won't let go of the bone, the one that will keep on track and take the time it takes to get things done as best as possible. I'm thorough. I'm not smiling at everybody, making friends and wearing miniskirts so that people like me. I don't look forward for people to like me: I do my job.

Back in Legal, I had to stand my turf this year about an issue of this matter. Due to the poor working environment of the department, the director came up with a series of ideas to fix things. It was plain that his ideas wouldn't actually help fix the problems of the area (he was the biggest problem of the area), since he pretended to solve every problem from "lack of proper communications with the superiors and coordinators" to "not appropiate wages" with a series of commitees aimed to project the image of the department to the whole company, commitees to share news (and we have an institutionalized news scanner service that let up know what's said country-wide on the news about the company), a commitee to gather all the manuals the area has produced, and such. I didn't agree with the commitees and didn't want to participate in either of them, because they were all imposed, and I felt they were covering up for the real problem. I'm not paid to throw parties at the office or organize a trip, and yet we were all commanded to "volunteer" for a commitee, and actively participate in it.

Time and again I voiced my non-conformity, explained my reasons, but no one would listen. In the end I had to wield quite a fight to be allowed to leave my assigned commitee - under order of not commenting it with no one, so no one else got the idea that they can leave. When my then boss got to know about what happened, she got mad and tried to basically bully me back into a commitee. One of the things she said was that this thing was "part of my job" (to which I pointed out to her, the lawyer, that this was not in the description of my job, thus could not be considered as such - it pissed her off, of course. Economists are not supposed to talk back.), and also that now, refusing to participate would have negative consequences on me, as people would start thinking that I'm a bad worker, that I'm not willing to do team work. I turned at her astonished.

"Why would anyone judge my work from some social commitee and not from the quality of my actual work?"

She looked at me like I'm stupid.

"Nobody looks at the work you do, only at the appearance you give."

In 11 years I have heard it time and again people complimenting my work. No one can say that I have done a poor quality job, ever. So, after all those praises I have received, after knowing how a former boss of mine tried to pass a work of mine as his and his boss and his boss' boss knew that the work was mine and complimented on it (a secretary told me about that case), I just stared at my then boss thinking that we must be living in parallel universes.

Well, I stood my turf, I didn't give an inch and I won. Some probably spread ill gossip about me, but it's not like that would matter. I'm already rumored to be a hateful witch, so there's not much they can add to it. (And then there's the fact that four months into it, the commitee system collapsed, just as I predicted it, but ah! Troya will burn because they would not listen to Cassandra, now would they?)

Little after, as my work was praised, as my boss' boss called me into his office to get to know the face behind the work, I looked back in my memory at that day, at my former boss, and remember how flimsy her view of the world is. Another one of her subordinates has been struggling for years now to get a better paying job. He has been sending out CV's, has been trying to get other people in the company interested in hiring him (Legal has him as a "lent" asset, and he has been "lent" from a company going bankrupt), and yet, inspite of him being all I am not regarding friendliness, readiness to do favors and find quick fixes, he has found nothing. Lots of people (including my former boss) even talk ill of him behind his back because of the low quality of his work, poor redaction, terrible grammar and spelling, lack of attention to details, insufficient research and tendency to forget stuff.

The year isn't over, but the lesson I've taken from this is: No matter what people say, do your job to the best of your capabilities, learn when to step back and let people who can do it better do the job. Good work and honesty always gets noticed.

On a more personal note, well, it's been a while since I last spoke to Al. I still feel a sting in my heart for her betrail. I can't say that I feel or don't feel it in my heart to forgive her for what she has done, but rather that I'm still stoned, and hurt for what she did. Some of my friends know about the relationship I had with her, and after what happened many have shown an incredible understanding about my feelings. I guess I'm still coping with it, though I haven't been all sad and crying in corners - that's not my style - but still, this is taking me a while.

I'm growing a little bit more comfortable about walking past her house, though the dread if maybe walking into her is still there. I'm not sure I could turn my head if I see her, but sure as hell, I wouldn't be able to greet her, words would freeze in my mouth, and soon I'd be bawling like a baby. It was my Best Friend, after all. My Best Friend of 20+ years! You can't just get over that so easily.

It might be bad, but I've reached the point where I want to know. She had been hurting me since before the fall out, making me feel like I had to get away from her, her lies so blatant, but after what happened, I was laid open and raw, feelings and emotions pulsing with hurt. I'm still tender, I may break down and cry if I poke the wrong way, but I feel the need to know how much of the girl I loved, the girl that was my Best Friend was a lie.

I'm getting in contact with her ex-husband, a person I never particularly liked, but who is actually the only one that can help me clear out some things about her. I do know she had always lied to me about the love of her life - that infamous Dimitri - who never returned her feelings, instead had feelings for me. I want to know how much of this even has actually played into our friendship, into the truth I know of her.

I'm afraid of finding out that, while I loved her so deeply for over 20 years, from the begining, finding in her so much, my first girl-crush, my first friend, my first Best Friend, the one around whom I build so much of my life and my emotional life, she had been lying to me, leading me on for whatever purpose. I'm afraid to find out that the girl I loved never existed, and I have spent over 20 years of my life befriending a lie. But I need to know.

Belated Blessed Lughnasadh

Very, very belated Blessed Lughnasadh! Wow, this time it has really taken me sometime to post! Then again, this Sabbath coincided  with one of the most rushed days of the office, with reports to be sent, and people to be terrorized in order to get those reports done. I had been a little spooked myself as well, as I heard word that my old boss is moving the threads again to get me back, though this time he and his team would be moving to the building where I work now, away from the Moron Boss Lady. There are things I don't like about my new job, like the fact that I do feel my skills being wasted and my mathematical logic (and I'm not the big NUMB3Rs in this) being swept under the rug, but now from far the mirage of my old boss is fracturing, and it does upset me to see how the quality has plunged, how little questioning is going around. I have lots to think about and lots to ponder.

My friend Dragonfly took the chance and resigned to the company in the most recent "resigning promotion", which is this program where the company pays people to resign. This is the second such promotion in less than a year, and rumor has it, there will be more until the company manages to reduce the size of its payroll to half. Other companies would simply lay off people, but our company seems to be unable to do that, thus the costly procedure. I was surprised to learn that Dragonfly was doing so, and later on even more surprised that up until the last day she hadn't told her family. Times are hard - really hard - and the crisis is gripping the country, with little chances to get a job, but the place she was working at was a true hell, so yes, either she resigned or she would have been carted to the looney house.

This Sabbath has received us actually as we are reaping what we sow. Lughnasadh or Lammas marks the first harvest of three, when we finally start to see the fruits of our labour. It's a happy time, as it is always when we see that our work has finally been yielding results. On this Sabbath we can start appreciating, seeing just how good or how effective all that meditating and careful planning and hard working has been.

Now, in the light of the recent events, Lughnasadh also call us to meditation. As it marks the first harvest - again, first of three, so lets not consider it definitive - it marks also a moment to reviwe what we have done so far in the light of the results. Are the results what we have expected? Well, this is a good time to ponder whether our planning was right, whether we lacked more planning or more hard working (maybe both), if we were counting too much on luck or something else. These things we can ponder and learn from them for the next year. However, we must also consider the next two harvests because maybe our labour was on the type of crop that blooms later.

There is, however, something else to consider at this point. Maybe we have planned well, and have worked hard and diligently and yet our results aren't the ones we expected. Believe it or not - and this coming from an existentialist like me might be a shock - but not always everything is (entirely) our fault. Then Lughnasadh is the time for us to ponder whether we want to keep working these lands or these seeds, or if we shall make a change in our lives that would really take us where we want to be. Does it worth to remain with someone who won't appreciate our effort? Does it worth it to stay in a job that offers a dead end and where doing nothing yields the same result as busting your ass? Does it worth to keep up with a project or a group that eats up your time, feeds on your effort but then yields nothing? A friendship that demands, demands and leaves you feeling empty?

There are two more harvests ahead, but sometimes it's good to start now, with the first results, reviewing if you should either improve or go for a Plan B.

Blessed Litha!

Source: ilcamminodeinovizi.blogspot.com

Welcome to the longest day of the year! The light of the Sun stretches out long and warm and lits the sky in cool colors. They are cool here, since this is pretty much the middle of the rainy season... or something like that.

The celebration is all about the Sun and the Positive Energy, the Activity, Labor and Achievement. In some places people still celebrate Midsummer with a midnight bonfire, but that's not used here, as most people are oblivious of this day and the actual lenght of the daylight. My dear friend Trish shared with me a few pictures of the Midsummer Bonfire they'll have there where they live. I'm so totally envious!

During this celebration, filled with color yellow and Sun themed motives and vibes, one thing that comes to mind is actually work. I'm on the last days of an ILO virtual class I'm taking about Decent Labor, and that has made me more aware of the conditions jobs should have and ensure to the workers, but which are constantly denied and often - when demanded - even considered an abuse from the worker's side. And you know what's the funniest thing? That often the Goverment that allow abuse to go on, have also signed the Labor Conventions and swear to be doing "all they can" to implement them.

Then, when we talk about labor we also talk about the work we do as labor force, but also all the activities we do - including chores, studies, errands, things we have taken responsability for, that depend from us to get done - that yield a result depending on how well and how laboriously have we worked on them. As the light of the year peaks, in the solar symbols around us, the energy of the active light and energy, we can celebrate hard work, remember ourselves that yes, we can get the extra mile and year after year we can do it to improve our work. The light is peaking, and from this moment on, the light, the active effort will slowly receede giving space for peace, rest and meditation, but not as a sudden phenomenon, but a gradual thing.

Work hard, never shy from sweating and pushing yourself to achieve your goals, but then, as your effort peaks, know to start cutting yourself some slack without letting go entirely. The seaking for balance start again.

Some people usually try to save their energy, do the minimum to just get what they want - and that they want it to yield to the maximum - never understanding then why they never feel really happy, why even the biggest achievement loses its luster minutes after reaching it. When the work is hard and the process is long, so the results are celebrated and enjoyed the most. You see, it's worth to work hard. :-)

Blessed Ostara

It's a Pagan Celebration again, and thus I post for sure ^_^. Today we celebrate Ostara, also known as Vernal Equinox, or Spring Equinox. A year has two equinoxes, one in Spring (Ostara) and one in Autumn (Mabon), and during these days the day and the night are supposed to be of the same lenght. From the Vernal Equinox on - or Ostara - the days become longer than the nights and will remain so until the Autumn Equinox.

Given the situation I've been through since February, I'm taking this celebration as a sign of hope. This year, Ostara means for me that it doesn't matter how long the darkness, the sadness and the difficulties might have been or looked like or felt like, in the natural cycle of life everything evens up, and soon the light, the Sun and the warmth takes over. Goodness doesn't get leveled down by Evil, because Nature in herself is good, but the forces against it, though allowed to exist, do get evened up.

How will I celebrate? Well, I wanted to make little bunny rolls, but there's no flour at home and I've been too busy to get some, and too tired to consider baking bread. So I guess I'll grab my lavender and sage seeds and plant them, then make myself a boiled egg and meditate on the lenghtening of light and how all the positive energy of the universe flows gently into our days to make them better. :-)

Blessed Imbolc!

After a year of blogging everyday, it feels like I've never said "it's been a while", and after nearly two or three weeks, I feel already like saying "Boy! It's been so long!". Well, this only shows how relative time is. However, relative or not, my time has been positively consumed at the office, and not always in a positive way. Now there I can say that it's been a long while since I had to work in such mindblowing conditions. Remember when I used to bitch and bitch about the work? When I was with my previous boss? Well, it's like that all over again, and we are not talking about the same person! (That boss, actually, has been recently demoted. The people he had at his charge were taken away from him, and I heard that he's now working as a sort of assistent, so that he can keep his large salary, but by now everybody knows what kind of "good work" can they expect from him.)

The current situation is so creepy, so exactly the same that still, you can't really believe it's happening. For instance, truth to be told, I'm not needed by this person, who is not my direct boss, but's ripping me away from my direct boss, who is an angel, BUT she needs to keep me. Why? I've heard she has beef with my boss, so she wants to get back at him by hacking his team to her liking, but I wouldn't say that's the matter. If it were, she would be much more aware of my capabilities, and wouldn't be throwing at me stuff I have no idea how to do. Really. Not only that, but she's sending my way some really delicate tasks that demand years of experience and a higher paycheck, as they, well, require a much higher level of responsability than what my current paycheck covers.

The situation is bad, looks dark and endless, and yet, a little spark of hope is flaming up in the distance. This is what Imbolc brought to me this year.

You see Imbolc marks that day when even you are still in the arms of Winter, you know that it won't take that long for the Spring to come. The nights are still long, but they have been drawing shorter and shorter, and the days are lenghtening slowly but surely. The world isn't an endless night, marked by leaking darkness and only memories of the summer days, but the balance is slowly restoring. And though the nights are still larger than the days, Ostara is coming closer and closer and soon the days will equal and then pass the nights.

I had hoped to spend this day with some friends, but things came out differently. Instead I stayed at home and worked on an order of 12 lanyarns ordered by different friends and friends of my friends. I guess this little side business has taken off. Now I can only hope the good times will last for a while and nor the orders nor my supplies would diminish. See? There's a little ray of hope!

I've been reading "Catching Fire" lately, and I love it! I have it by lending it from Amazon.com, which is something you can do with a Prime Rate Membership. However I'm considering ordering it from Libri, which is a Hungarian bookstore. The books would remain in Hungary, of course, but then, by being in Hungarian, my boyfriend could read them, and I bet he would like them. :-) Or at least I hope.

I haven't completed many of my tasks from my latest List of 13, but hopefully I'll get around those soon enough. Some are really fascinating, like going to the movies - I decided I want to watch Hansel & Grettel - and others are just wonderful, like drawing, working on a piece of literature - hope the muse is willing - adding to the Book of Ideas and what not. These are all things I love, things I look forward to, but why I don't get around to do them? Because I get moody and tired during the weekdays and on the weekend all I want is to sleep. So, I guess I have to pull myself out of this and keep with my List, refusing to all of the annoying elements of my life the satisfaction of making my days less bright.

It's Imbolc, and like the world, I'm waking up to the sense that it might still be Winter, but Spring is certainly on the way.

Blessed Be All!

A Matter of Bush

In case you may wonder, this is an EXPLICIT rated post.

So here we are, still at the beach, at my sister-in-law's family place. We were suposed to go to Manuel Antonio - a National Park and breathtaking beach - but since it's Monday it was closed. As result we decided to move the trip to tomorrow - when it will be open, and also slide our plans a little. Mine and my boyfriend's. We still have to pack for our trip, and laundry had to be done in order for us to pack. Yeah, don't ask me. We had to request for help - a.k.a. my Mom.

We still went to the beach, but to another part of it. The start was a bit late, as we woke up somewhat late (the bed was too orthopedic and it didn!t matter which way we turned, it was just freaking hard all over the place! Even while sleeping on my back my back hurt! What can I say, I'm a softy, I need feather soft, cloud light and lamb warm beds) and then still had to get some stuff bought and done. I kind of forgot taking this time to check on things, and this is how at the beach I realized that I hadn't shaved properly! To my horror, one of my legs was harrier that the other even though I obviously shaved them at the same time. I'll go see the doctor just for sure, but I've the feeling that given that I tend to wax every now and then, the wax has made it's effect on one of the legs and not the other. Oh well, we shall later see about that. The thing is that the bikini area wasn't even properly waxed! Yes, shame on me, but I had actually waxed it! I just didn't wax it enough for my swimsuit, which gives you and idea of how often I use my swimsuit.

I normally wax for my underwear, which is lowcut, mostly because I value comfort a lot and also because all in all I've a hippie soul and I like a full bush. Oh yes, the full bush! That's one of the most retrograde things today, but the truth is that the full bush is a nice thing and I love it. It doesn't look good when it pokes out of your underwear or swimsuit, which is why I trim it with wax - don't really like shaving it - but the bush itself is just as wonderful, cushy and feminine as the woman herself. Since we are going to the beach tomorrow - and probably also later in the week ^_^ - I decided to have it trimmed to size. So after the beach we went to a local store and got myself a pack of cold wax. Have I mentioned that we are at the beach? Well, for none of you to do the same mistake, please don't try to wax at the beach, unless you have a huge freeze at hand were you can do it.

It the begining it was working somewhat normally, but soon it was getting messy, melting all over the place and not doing it's job. I started at the bikini area, so as soon as it was more wax on hair than hairs on the wax, I stopped and went for the legs, assuming the thinner hairs would get out easier. Big mistake. It pulled the skin, and the hairs mostly slid out of the wax, quickly rendering a whole box useless. I got fed up and asked my boyfriend for his razor. He quickly gave me razor and shaving cream. On the legs it worked as usual, on the armpits it worked as usual. On the remaining bikini line I attempted to make? The freaking shaving cream burned like a fucking hell!

I remembered how some coworkers of mine said that nothing drove women crazier than giving them a blowjob with a Halls menthol hard candy and then blow on it. You know what? It doesn't drive you crazy, it drives you homicidal! It's not a terribly bad burn, but it is a burn and not the nice type!

The year is coming to an end, and I kept my purpose of posting every day for a whole year. New purposes now come to life - none of which I have decided yet. It wouldn't have meant much if I didn't keep this promise, but I managed and I feel good about it. Not all my posts have been brilliant, but I wrote all of them, each of them, and I didn't resource to re-post or copy, of post-cheat, not even once. I proved that I can write, that I have something to say everyday of my life, and that I might repeat my topics, but I'm consistent on my ideals, on my opinions, and I can always say something new, or at least say it in a new way.

2013 is around the corner now. I'd be already there, have I stayed in Hungary, but things didn't quite happen that way. I still have two letters to reply, so that one purpose wasn't fulfilled, but hey! I replied four out of six in record time! That gives me some credit, now does it? ^_^

My last recorded thought for 2012 in this blog is: don't wax at the beach, watch what you shave with and fuck it all, full bushes are awesome! Think about it and don't let society strip you of your status of women to turn you into a docile prepubescent girl.

Got A Present From Mexico!

Yay! ^_^ My Secret Santa from the Book Swapping Club was the lovely Dee Scissorhands! And my Goodness, was she grand! I've got TWO books instead of ONE! TWO AWESOME BOOKS! ^_^Well, with this I can just cross out one of my tasks from the List of 13: "Pick a Great Book to Read". Well, that will be... The Scarlet Letter + Hunger Games! ^_^ Okay, one... let's go Classic: The Scarlet Letter, but I'll read the Hunger Games too! Right after or before! It doesn't matter! Yay! Books!

I've also got a lovely letter and postcards from Mexico. One's a composite picture of different locations in Chiapas, the other is a picture of sailing at Playa del Carmen, and the last one is a super-cool, 3D postcard with a Mayan Calendar. The one that applied to the era that ended now with the "end of the world". I guess I'll have to wait for the next calendar now. It must be really interesting to study these ancient American cultures, and get to understand their symbols and messages, because I look at this picture and all I see is a stone disc with embossed designs. I couldn't tell you were it starts, where it ends or how on Earth do you know it meant for the Era to end on the dawn of 2012's Yule.

Days are peaceful now. There's no more rush about Christmas or presents, our only thoughts are about our upcoming trip to Cuba and that's it. For New Year? No plans, really. Maybe we'll stay home with a bottle of good champagne, or maybe we'll visit friends... no rush there either! Not the first New Year we spend together at home, though admitedly, since it's our Aniversary too, we tend to spend it abroad. :-D Wait, do we? Suddenly I can't remember how many years I've been with my boyfriend. A lot, I guess. Oh well, not like he's going anywhere, so why count the years, right? It's not like it's a prison sentence and I'm calculating how many years more I have to "endure" to gain freedom! ^_^ That's the attitude of "sentenced for life without parole". Yes, I know, I make relationships sound like the worse thing that could ever happen to you. In some cases it is.

I was going to pack my trusty Kindle for my trip to Cuba, but I think I'll rather go with one of my new books. Yay! I'm so excited!!! ^_^ Can you tell? Everything is just so awesome, the days ahead look so wonderful... Numerologically speaking 2013 will be a "6" type of year for me. What does that mean? I don't know, but it sure looks like AWESOME and HAPPY! ^_^

Isn't life lately just great! ^_^ Happy rest of the day for all!

Merry Christmas

When do you celebrate Christmas? That's a curious question you may not ask yourself, but actually in some countries it's celebrated on the morning of the 25th and in others it's celebrated on the evening of the 24th. At our place we celebrate it on the evening of the 24th, while the world around us celebrate it on the morning of the 25th. I woke up early to make jewelry - was actually awoken by an idea about how to make these present-jewelries for my mom and my sister-in-law - and also to get some last things - like the wrapping paper that's never enough because rolls and rolls have been used to Hyne-knows-what - and wrap. I've been wrapping presents for hours now!

Thoughts for Christmas? Ask me later, when I'm done wrapping. Having written letters yet, and I should seriously get done with all my letters - Christmas Resolution: reply to all of my letters before the year ends! - and then... and then. I read in the fabulous blog of LJ - Honey, hope you don't mind me mentioning you, but your blog is just FANTASTIC, I trully love it, people! - about this Dodo planner inserts that help you get on top of your events, and festivities so you don't forget about the cards you are supposed to send and the presents, parties, dinners, appointments and all that. And do you know who needs that? --->THIS<---- b="b"> gal here! 2013 shall be different, I must really be on top of everything, so that when the vacations finally arrive I don't have to rush or worry or anything, just extend my arm and wait for the Piña Colada magically appear in my hand.

I know I did it one year, and it was so weird - but good weird! - It must have been back when I worked with Skylar and we were all stressed out all the time, and I had my days planned to the minute in my trusty palm pilot. I remember that I hit December and everything was done and taken care of. All presents bought and wrapped, all the cards and letters sent, all tasks checked... the world swirled around me with ever increasing pace and desperation to get things by the 24th, desperately trying to come up with something new because the one thing they came up with turned out to be sold out...

So, for 2013 I'll rely on my filofax and the inserts I can come up with to make things happen - to make magic! - and once again be on the top of my game, at least organizationally speaking.

It's a night of hope and dreams, so let's hope and let's dream!

Merry Christmas!

Making Gingerbread Cookies

Saturday at last and rest is coming many, many times a day. ^_^ The program of the day was simple: paying the tax we have to pay when we leave the country, then did some groceries and bought a fabulous book for children titled "Quién es Tomás?" (Who is Tomás?), which I bought from the author. The money made from the sale of the books is being used to help a foundation which helps children. It was really nice to meet the author, who was kind enough to to dedicate the book to my nephews.

From there we went home, where my boyfriend and my oldest nephew got on playing with the computer and I napped a little. Gash, I was needing that! ^_^ After that we got on the Christmas things with my boyfriend, Mom and my oldest nephew setting the Christmas tree and I preparing gingerbread cookies. :-) I can only hope that this recipe works, as I have misplaced my usual recipe and so had to fish another one from the Internet.

The Holidays are slowly coming, and we might be the last house of the block to catch on the Christmas feeling, but slowly here we are. :-) Now, I gara go and check on those cookies. See ya!

Blessed Yule!

Well, aren't you lucky! ^_^ Sorry, my head had been in a different place entirely (and I was seriously upset about this whole "environmental crap" I wrote about, so I had to get that of my system), and so I entirely forgot about my celebratory blogpost! So now, as time allows it, I'll post a shorter post about the subject.

picture Googled

Tonight we celebrate Yule, an ancient, Pagan festival where we conmemorate the birth of the God Sun. The powers shift now, and the Night that has been growing larger and larger each day, promting us to quiet and meditation, reaches today it's longest reign and then will start to recoil back, slowly giving space to more daylight time. After having harvested the fruits of our labour, and saved for the future, we have retired to meditate, to evaluate out progress through the year, and tonight is the night where we draw our conclusions. What have we learned from 2012 and what lessons will we carry on towards 2013, with which we will expect to make the next year even better than this one?

The message of Yule has been also taken by Christmas - though not in the current heavily commercial message - where we make reference to a night of peace and hope. The night might be long and bleak, and we might feel tempted to sink under the weight of our overinflated shortcomings. We didn't learn a new language, didn't lose weight, didn't get a (new) job, didn't find a significant other, didn't start a family, didn't get married, didn't get a promotion, didn't quit drinking/smoking/other... but this night is the last long night, and indeed a new cycle begins, a new year and a new chance. Allow yourself to remember and celebrate your success and learn from your mistakes. Don't sweep them under the rug, nor ignore any of them! Treasure those hits and study what did you do that made them come out right. Then study your shortcomings and find out what went wrong, so this way you'll not only know what to avoid (what provoked the mistakes), but also what to do (what helped the hits).

Most likely you are not Pagan, but that's okay. Consider taking a few moments today to celebrate a personal Yule, a moment of peace, meditation and hope. Pour yourself a glass of wine, or do some mulled wine or cider, put on some Christmas scented oil, or apple-cinnamon, maybe gingerbread cookie scent (or bake gingerbread cookies!), or pine scent, and curl up in a comfy chair or wherever you like and think about how wonderful 2012 has been. Don't miss out the little joys that came along the way, and always remember that the bad things may be heavy and many, but that's because all bad things go as fast as they come - that's why you need so many of them to notice them - but the good things take time, arrive slower into your life, and last forever. :-D

Blessed Be!

No Time...

The Beautiful, Smart, Sweet and Quirky Penpal Queen and Bloggerine Extraordinaire Julie celebrated her birthday yesterday. She had a simple request, which she placed three weeks ago, and I couldn't honor it. :-( I wanted to but then couldn't: there was simply no time for it, not to mention my current Letter-Jam (okay, more like a letter-deadlock). So I thought to at least send her a little message, an e-mail, a post on her wall or something and guess what? I could hardly even post! It was really upsetting. Add to all of it, yesterday was truly a nightmare and all for what anyone could forsee for the begining: it all got exactly nowhere. It was just like working on a Dilbert cartoon.

So, belated and while I find the time to write, this is for you, my friend:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JULIE!!!

... and may we celebrate a million birthdays more ^_^.

Mikulás!

Happy Santa's Day! ^_^ Well, it is a traditional celebration in Hungary, and I believe in other European countries as well. At least I think my friend Trish has mentioned it. It's not traditional in Costa Rica, so when we celebrate with the family, the little packages are put together by hand. In other countries, such as Hungary, the packs are available already packed up, so parents or other people giving them only have to roll down the candy aisle and pick up as many packs as children they will be giving the packs to.  I haven't done much research about it, I just enjoy it, so I'll tell you a little bit about this day - to the best of my knowledge!

Santa's day is a another of those magical celebration days where teh magic happens over night. In this tradition on the night of December 5th, childre polish their shoes and leave them in the window, or outside the door. Over night Santa comes and leaves a present in the shoes, if they have been nicely polished. Good children get fruits and candy and bad children get some branches of something called "virgács" in Hungarian. I believe it might be called "birch" in English. Commercially available packs usually include some birch, either because they believe everybody has been naughty, or most likely because the branches themselves are pretty, specially when they spray them down with golden or silver paint.

Though admitedly Santa's Day has become somewhat commercial, I still like it better than Christmas because people don't do lists of what they want their packs to have. You give from your heart what you truly believe to be good, and you receive with gratitude the small surprises that came from the heart of others. There's a sense of beautiful wonder and magic when you find the little red pouch in the morning, and for a moment you truly believe that Santa had magically found his way to your home and left you a little magical something. As you receive, there are no expectations and therefore there's no deception. Everything, even the smallest, most humble piece is a treasure of fabulous proportions.

From this celebration I'd like to bring forward two messages. First that as we have entered the cycle of meditation in Samhain/Halloween, this is the moment where we can ask ourselves how have we behaved with ourselves, the others and our environment. Have we been good or have we been bad? No excuses, no justifying, just honestly. Have we been good friends, good relatives, good significant others, good employees, good coworkers, good bosses. And even if we have been, can we be even better? Whatever sphere of your life, penpal, gamer, collector, sportsman, artists, craftman... you name it, even pet owner (or as "pet owners" better refer to themselves "pet companions"), this is the moment when you can reflect on your results and measure them, whether they were enough or not, good or not, and what can you do to fix them or improve them. And if you are happy with it - which you can! Remember to allow yourself to be satisfied with yourself! - then pat yourself on the shoulder and reward yourself! You deserve it. ^_^

The second message is to remember to allow yourself to receive without expectations, to enjoy things that come free, things that are simple, things that aren't commercial. It's fine to have expectations about results you have been working with, and demand them. If you pay for an Armani suit, don't settle for a cheap polierster suit with no shape, but when you receive from nature, from others a small token of affection, learn not to demand from them to cater to your needs, but instead look at those tokens for what they are: an expression of love.

This last one is the one secret formula of happiness: do not expect certain results from what's not in your power to control or define. You can't control the weather, the seasons, but you can be happy because a new flower bloomed on the tree close to your office. ^_^ Enjoy the small with as much feeling as you enjoy the big, because the size doesn't matter, only the intention and the love behind it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

This one comes out late, right? It's 21:13 and I just arrived - maybe some 20 minutes ago or so, from Liberia, a city to the Northwest of the country, were we had a meeting with some partners. But this you already know because I've told you yesterday. So yes, news since yesterday are: the Money Laundring conference was less than what I expected - a.k.a. they pulled that plain sentence and stretched it for an hour. It was hideous - and today's meeting was also rather unexpected.

But today is thanksgiving, even though I missed all the NFL games. It's weird to think about making a thanksgiving post when I did a Mabon post, so I'll go simple (I'm rather tired too, so don't ask much from my brain) to avoid repeating myself.

We don't really celebrate thanksgiving here, and honestly all my thanksgiving knowledge comes from movies - specially The Addams Family's Values - so I'll avoid making a fool of myself trying to give meaning to this celebration. I'll leave a note to myself in my filofax :-) so I do better research for next year. How about that?

So, giving thanks. Do we as a world have something to be thankful for? We have crisis in Europe and Gaza is again spiking up in violence, spreaking around the already wounded-raw Middle East. Crime and drugs and terrorism rips across our nations and corruption is pandemic. Hell, corruption is the only thing we actually see following the "trickling down" theory, and that actually keeps the economy and the money from trickling down from the uber-wealthy to the common people.

Well, we have things to be thankful for. Thankful for the jobs we have, in those cases where we have a job or any honest source of income. Thankful for our friends, the ones we made this year and those we kept cultivating. Thankful for the voice we have, our courage and determination to raise it in protest. Thankful for the American elections - four more years of hope, in my humble opinion. Thanks for the sparks of wisdom, for the fun moments, the movies we love, the new books we find, the chances we get, the lessons we have the opportunity to learn. Thankful for the love in our lives, for the chance to further know ourselves and for the chance of sharing with those we love - near or far, it doesn't matter as the heart and the soul have no sense of geographical distance.

Thankful for inspiration, for the good ideas, for diversity, for those moments of progress when equality wins another battle over outdated, obtuse ideas.

Thankful because the world can be hard, but we still have the chance to make it a better place. Thankful because in the middle of everything, we still can see the beauty, we still can harvest the sweet little berries of happiness and cherish them close to our hearts.

Yes, this is not the time to stop, and this is not the time to close our eyes and pretend that everything is swell, it's time to fight, to raise our voices and make oourselves be heard. It's time to denounce and let the world know that enough is enough and the bigotry of a few doesn't represent the many, that the corruption of some won't be tolerated by the whole. And yet, there's much we still have, much we have achieved and for that, it's okay to be thankful.