End of year musings

Property of Stormberry
The picture just wants to look like that.
So I let it.

As 2022 slips away, I've found myself listening to more viking-inspired music, mostly from Peyton Parrish. No, I'm not preparing to hop on a ship and go raiding, but there is something in that music that gets to me in this moment of my life. What does it make me feel? It makes me feel strong, like my capabilities are there, even if I'm tired, even if I have no idea how to continue or proceed with my thesis, if it feels like I am up against a giant: I am not giving up, I will strap on the shield, tighten my fingers around the axe or the sword and I'll keep on going.

Something I talked about in one of my videos was the Wheel of Life, which is like a pie chart for you to map important areas of your life, or whatever. I had one completed, based on a pre-made template, but it didn't really do much for me. In it there were areas I was scoring quite high (as in, 10), and so, as I was looking at it - with areas that are not important for me at all, or do not apply to my case, I decided to make a blank chart and fill it with the things I do want to concentrate on. The thing was, what do I want to concentrate on?

This took me a while, and I printed out many charts named them, colored them in, and slowly the final version is coming out. I want to chart areas that are important for me, over which I have some degree of control, and that I can measure to some degree of confidence. This is an experiment I will try to get on for 2023, as well as my planners and diaries channel. Boy, it already feels ominous, trying to come up with 52 topics to talk about next year. How will I manage? Right now, I don't know, but I will figure it out.

2022 is here

Property of Stormberry

A new year has arrived, like so many others before it, and again we see the same things around us. There's the people bitching about how "it's just another day, like any other, nothing special about it", and then also the people giving advise about making New Year Resolutions, or not making New Year Resolutions, and then the lots of people making all sorts of old jokes, and those who take this moment to remember things that happened. In general, people either try to share the experience with others or just try to get attention for whatever means.

The New Year means for me lots of planning. I spent the last days of 2021 preparing my calendars and planners for the new year, penciling in birthdays, appointments, Pagan Sabbaths, Roman Celebrations (those related to my Gods), and so on. I managed all of my calendars and planners (only five in total), but I still had the digital stuff to take care of. For years I have been using an Excel sheet to track my finances - mostly my spending - and each year I tweek it a little bit, to improve the system I use, in order to make sure it ends up working better and better for my purposes. It's not a perfect system yet, but each time I adjust it, it gets better.

In this particular case I'm quite proud because though I've been using this tracker since 2013, last year was the first year I actually followed it quite regularly. 2020 was the second year I filled the whole year, I believe, and with less backlog than in previous years. This year I will try to record more than just my expenses, and I'm still thinking about how to make a dynamic Budget Tracker, where I can check effectively which of my planned expenses have I completed and when. My idea is to make an easy tracker where I can keep track of which bills I've paid and which are still to be paid.

Property of Stormberry

Last year, for several months, I kept a cycle tracker, where I recorded my weight, body fat, water, muscle weight and bone weight daily based on my menstrual cycle and the Moon cycles. Eventually this tracker was making me anxious and turned out to be counterproductive for my health, so I stopped. In this same line I took out of my planner more than six different trackers for water, food habits, exercise, journaling, blogging... and something else. These I just couldn't really follow. I have used these trackers for years, since I was using the bullet journal system, but I never really used the infomation for anything. No matter how I grouped it or what I tried, it just wasn't adding any value to my life.

I celebrate the New Year, not only because I like celebrating things (I'm a Witch and I choose to celebrate the eight Sabbaths because, hey! they are celebrations!), but New Years mark a defined point in time to make a review of the last period, what has worked, what hasn't, and so I can keep on improving. Sure, the New Year is "just another day", but it's a day globally chosen to mark a given period. A year is a convenient chunk of time to have tried something, and to review the results of it. Using it is also convenient, because this day we start also new calendars, which is mostly important for those of us who still use paper planners, but also because many legal, fiscal and financial programs and paperwork - to call it somehow - finish a cycle on this date.

This is not the case for everybody, but it is the case for me. Is it your case? Be it as it may, it's good to have a moment, a marker of period for you to evaluate and review your progress in time, to decide what works, what doesn't, what can be adjusted, improved, and what needs to go.

New Year and All That

Property of Stormberry.

Are you a New Year enthusiast? No? Well, a lot of people are not. I am, before you ask me, for many reasons, which I'll tale you about in this post. A lot of people are often excited about the New Year because it means parties and usually some of the best parties of the year. I still remember some of my most memorable New Years, spent with friends, or with family or even alone. I remember a bitter sweet one too, spent in Paris - my first time in Paris - and though then I wasn't feeling very happy towards the end, as I remember it, that was also an amazing New Year. (That's also when I realize how super nice French people can be when you make the effort to speak in French.)

However, yes, a lot of people get grumpy about the New Year, specially in pandemic-laced times like the ones we are living right now, and hurl things at the rest like "New Year is just another day", and "nothing will magically get better just because of it", or "it's not even a real New Year because there is a distortion that can't be corrected with the Skip-Year". Yes, I move in strange circles sometimes, but hey, I'm a witch, and I have learned that I tend to attract the weird.

So, the answer your questions, those are all either partially true statements or... not even that important. The point is that they are beyond the point. I mean, if New Year is just another day, hey, so are Saturday and Sunday, and yet we call them "weekend", and have "weekend plans" and all that. And what about Holidays? And no, nothing will "magically get better"... if you don't believe in magic, and if you do, congratulations! Then you know that you are the one who does the magic and the time of the year can give you the push to work the magic and make things better. Oh, and magic (or magick), isn't easy-peasy either. Any witch worth his or her salt would tell you that magic takes a lot of work, a lot of research, a lot of concentration and loads and loads of practice. So yes, actually this can "magickally get better", with all it entails.

Now, you can have your reasons for loving or liking or looking forward to the New Year, and I would love if very much if you decided to share them. Here, I will give you some of my own, and also some of my thoughts on the matter... because, you know (not so) daily thoughts and random ideas. :-)

This post will look somewhat different from all my other posts, and I know that because I put in the "topics" I would like to touch on before hand. I'm trying a new thing here, so bear with me. :-)

Get a New Planner

Property of Stormberry

Ok, I use a filofax and I do bullet journal now, but still, getting a new planner is an experience I love so, so much! I'm totally in love with my A5 Ochre Filofax Malden, and I doubt I'll ever change it... unless it falls apart, which I hope it doesn't. Still, I love looking at the options and sometimes I imagine getting a Filofax Malden in Pear (also in A5) because I really, really, REALLY love green, and since I moved from Personal size to A5 thanks to my lovely friend Tina, I think I'll also stay with this size... even if the planner doesn't fit in my smaller bags. I think I've found that elusive sweetspot known as Planner Peace. Was it planner-peace or planner-heaven?

Anyway, this is part of my New Year excitement. I'm not one to sit down monthly or weekly to draw up calendars and do all that shebang, but I do the whole year at once, and so, the New Year and days around it are perfect for that. I make my calendars, plan my trackers, decide what stays, what goes, select some "themes" when I want to, and along with my resolutions, I decide which subjects I would like to pay more attention to. For instance, one of my resolutions for this year is to blog more (aren't you happy about that?), and so, I decided to make a sort of tracker for posts. A simple one, mind you, just marking on a grid whether I posted or not.

On top of that, I also use (since 2012, I believe) a Witches Datebook by Llewellyn, which helps me with my witchy practice, and has a lot of stuff I find quite interesting. I'm linking you here the Datebook I'm currently using, at the site of Llewellyn, but normally I buy mine at Amazon.com. AND with my Witches Datebook, I also buy a Witches Calendar, also my Llewellyn. They go together so well, and though you can use only one, using them together makes perfect sense. I have tried to buy other things, specially a Herbal Almanac (I've been years into trying to tap my more herbal side, even though I'm really awful at gardening), but I just don't have the time to read and peruse so many stuff. Maybe some other year. Maybe I'll make that a resolution sometime. Who knows, right? :-D

I'm also much into calendars, and I like to have them almost in every single wall, specially because many have really pretty pictures. Or so I search them so. So I spend time around the end of the year and beginning of it, looking for pretty calendars. I usually go for calendars related to Art Nouveau, coffee, or maybe something that interests me in the moment. I'm not so much into calendars of dogs or cats or cars or nature. So that's also an exciting process.

Now, because we live in a social world where years are measured in a certain way, calendars are more often than not, also offered specially in certain times of the year. So is with datebooks, planners and such. So, if you are into calendars, this is the time when you can get them. This is also the time when many stores and organizations also gift planners and calendars. Isn't that exciting? If you are not much into calendars because... whatever reason, maybe one day you may like to try finding one you like. There are so many options! Millions and millions of themes, pictures, photographs, artistic, funny, nature related, architecture... pretty much, whatever strikes your fancy. And not only about the pictures, you can also find calendars that focus on the phases of the Moon, or full of astrological or astronomical data, or with space for planning (bigger squares or lines), even calendars for families (for each day you have a number of columns, usually five, for the plans of each family member), which can be used to keep track of multiple things, like family-work-studies, or to track events in social media, and real life.

And this is the time to get them. Would you miss out on the fun?

New Plans Too

With a New Year, certain new plans must be made. In Costa Rica (where I currently live), school usually starts in February or sometimes in January. This is because back in the day, when coffee production was huge here, all able hands were needed for the harvest, which happens (depending on the area) usually around November, December and January too. In some places it can start as early as October also, for what I heard. So, traditionally, children went to the coffee plantation with the parents to help them with the harvest. As it was desirable that the children were sent to school also, the school year was moved around it, and it stayed that way. So, as result, with the begining of the year, we start also a new chapter of learning. Further education programs and so, often also follow this yearly cycle, so the new year is presents also a chance for people to enroll into a school or a program to further their education, and these are part of the new plans you can make, at anytime, but in the New Year, you might be more aware of them or even feel more motivated to take a new path.

Our society works also in cycles determined by the year: businesses and entertainment places launch their new yearly programs and even fashion has new seasons. A new year can set a new theme, a new purpose, a new plan. This is when the new calendar events are presented, and if you are into it, this is when you can check for your expected book launches (I already have one I'm waiting for on April 20th), or concerts, seminars, movies and what-have-you. This is when you can pencil it in your calendar and plan to save for it.

As a witch, the New Year also means planning for a new round of Sabbaths, which in my case also means to make sure I have enough mead, because, hey, I'm that kind of a witch. :-) But you don't have to be a witch to have fun with the New Year (though it helps, honestly), because this is also when you can check your calendar and see when are those blessed long weekends and you can start planning on the trips you can make. And what now when travelling is being restricted due to the pandemic? Well, you can still make plans! The New Year and all it's happy, excited, dreamy energy is perfect to come up with creative new ways to make things amazing. Remember, when there's a will, there's a way.

The idea of cycles can have a powerful effect on people. For once, instead of feeling like you are drowning in a constant of days over which you have no power, facing things that are bigger than yourself, when you are able to chop up the time continuum into easy year-sized bits, you actually get a better sense of control. You can measure what you have achieved, how long have you gone, and you also get the feeling that you can correct what you did wrong. It doesn't matter that you make resolutions you then don't keep, what matters is the learning process. If you want to keep your resolutions, hey, work on adapting them. If you don't keep them, but don't care because the fun is just in making them and then see if they come to pass by themselves, have fun then!

You know how many of my 2020 resolutions I have achieved? Less than a half. And do I worry? Oh Hell no! That way I alreay have half a list of resolutions to recycle! Gara see the good side of it, right? By the way, one of my resolutions for 2020 was to relearn to play piano, which would have had happened if I had a piano, which I would have had if I my house would havee been finished in time, and I would have not been a victim of bank fraud and would have not lost my money. The resolution is still a valid one, and though the moving into my home is very, very near, buying my piano might take some time, but I don't worry. That's a dream for the future. I'll just listen to Fleetwood Mac albums in the meantime.

The Seasons

Though we have two or four seasons (depends on where you live), a New Year gives you a chance to have a new experience with each of them. There are places like Central America (and I believe most of the places in the Tropics of Cancer and Capricorn), where the seasons look pretty much the same, and we often have all the fruits and veggies in all seasons. Still, each season has its own delights and there are some fruits and veggies or some celebrations that happen only on certain seasons. We have also high season and low season, and again, though the current pandemic situation might make it hard for us to visit other countries or beaches and mountains, there is always something around to enjoy. Blooming of trees and flowers in the garden, or our plants in pots, the way the Sun lights the sky at certain angles, the scents in the air, the sound of the rain that's so particular to each time of the year, the heat, the cold, and the chances it brings to wear this or that outfit. Even at home! Come on, you know you can make this fun!

In today's Occidental society, we don't use to celebrate the seasons, and though small groups of people might choose to celebrate the seasons, or you do it individually, the collective, global effort is centered into the one night of the year. Besides, if we had a day marked for celebrating the changing of each season, naysayers would have four more chances to bitch about it. Once is enought, I would say. Yet still, in order to experience a given season again, a whole year has to pass, and so, celebrating a New Year also means that we will again have the seasons, and the chance to live them, maybe even better than the last time.

Anyway, as nearly the whole planet celebrate the New Year the same day, I believe that all that festive and happy energy tend to go around the globe and make someting super-positive for all of us. We all feed on this awesome energy of hopes, and dreams and new beginings. Yes, there are people who get depressed, that happens too, and also with Christmas, and so on, but there is also a lot of this amazing energy floating around, and if you want and can, why not take advantage of it and ride the wave of hopes and celebration?

You know, maybe this year, just like the last, will be hard in this regard, and we won't be able to travel and go out all we want, but that means also less conmuting time and more time for calm and for planning new, cool ways to do something fun. It's maybe time to learn to be comfortable with ourselves, inside, without looking for the external excitement. Instead of going out and looking for fun and inspiration, how about you invite it in? Maybe then, when we can go outside again, freely, we could also bear gifts for the world. Don't you think?

The Social Thing

Though it might be arbitrary, a year has ended and another has began, and so we measure with it not only time, but also things measured with time: years of life, years in a relationship, years of experience. In the end, though we are individuals, we live in society, and even if there are many things that need improving and changing (I'm not going there now), we are also part of this rhythm. The years pass, and we have again and again the chance to push forward. In this period, peppered with seasons and landmarks and celebrations and holidays, and days of remembrance of milestones of the history, year after year we get the chance to work on our projects, make something of them.

A number of years pass in order to elect our leaders, in countries where there are (working) democratic governments, and in the years in between, we can evaluate how they manage the power they have been given.

Years also mark the time for bonuses, in those jobs where such premiums are given, or also mark the time were an extra monthly payment is given - such as in Costa Rica, where in December we are paid double - but years also mark special offer times, like the Black Friday, for instance, or the January sales.

In the end, a lot of things in the social life are arbitrary, but are conventions that end up marking the life around us. The sense of time and the lotting up of it, in the end, define much of what we make and how we do it. Years are instrumental to define when you start school, when you become of legal age, when you can retire (in countries where there are provisons for that), and so, why not celebrate it?

Go on, celebrate it and make the most of it, and have a happy 2021!

New Year, New Starts

Property of Stormberry

It has come that time of the year, when we all make resolutions (or at least a significant part of the world that does celebrate the New Year around this time and adscrie to this type of rituals), and so, of course, I have made my own. One of them- which I fully intend to keep, because it's one of those I have more control over - is to post 52 posts this year. This translates pretty much to one post per week. No, of course you don't have to endure this journey with me or anything, so feel free to do as you wish, the same way you have been doing so far.

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I don't have that many resolutions either - I wrote some of them in my new bullet journal - and then I discussed some with my gods... which I should probably write down before I forget them. One of those was to considerably reduce my spending on physical books, mostly due to the plans to build my own house, and in light of the impending expenses and moving. I'll try and keep that one in mind.

2018 has been a wonderful year for me, full of achievements, successes and blessings, so I am happy. One thing I'm quite happy about is that I finished the year with having read 46 books! Awesome! :-) For a slowpoke reader like me that's quite an achievement. This had emboldened me, so I made it my resolution to read 45 next year (instead of my regular goal of 24 books per year). I actually made this resolution in the last days of 2018, when my count of books in Goodreads was somewhere around 41 or 42 books read. I decided to challenge myself - really challenge myself - and go for the kill. I mean, next year I have no classes planned, save for my German lessons, and only will have a thesis of marketing to write, which will rest mostly on groundwork than theoretical construction, so that should give me the time and space to gnaw my way through roughly a book per week.

Property of Stormberry

One added blessing from 2018 was the addition of a new client for my accounting private practice, which I appreciate greatly. As per usual, it's a relative of a friend, so someone with whom I have a previous relationship, and someone I care for a lot. Given the particularities of this case, I travel once a month to the location of this client to do some basic accounting, and oftentimes, after meeting them, I meet with my friend, who lives close by. Yes, it's a tad far, but I like driving, the road isn't challenging and I like the chance to meet with this friend, for otherwise we would hardly meet at all. So it's an absolutely positive situation for me.

My friend and I often meet at a Starbucks close by, or either I pick her up and go there for a coffee and chat. We are both big pen-&-paper junkies, so we have our raves and long, gushing chats away from people who do know us and who would never understand how can anyone get so excited about fountain pens and paper (or pay so much for it). I know, I know, but you know muggles: they just don't get the excitement of experiencing a smoothly gliding pen, or the delight of the right quality of paper, the comfort and joy of handwriting or... having access to text that does not depend on electrical power to exist.

We had our date, had great fun and then her husband came to pick her up and our ways parted. Before I went to my car to drive back home, I went for a coffee and a bottle of water for the road. As I stood there, a man came to order and noticed a frog shaped pendrive I have hanging from my bag... that was missing its bottom half. He told me about it (I had no idea my frog had lost its legs), and told me he had found the legs outside. I thanked him and thought that was it, and proceeded to turn away and make a mental note to go out and pick the legs up. The man, however, kept talking to me, telling me he would help me find them, which was odd, because the place isn't all that big and I had an idea where it could be. Anyway, we struck a conversation of sorts.

It turned out he's a physician, and works at one of our biggest public hospitals. That's impessive. He also has a private practice, so as an accountant (I felt no need to explain to him all of my career background as that can be compicated for anyone upon first meeting) I gave him a couple of useful advise. He was quite free telling me at once that he was divorced and got the custody of his children, which was hard to get, but he had a good lawyer and... why was he telling me all that? The man was being a typical Latin male, seeking to rope me into a formal relationship. He seemed nice, and his children also seemed nice, so I kept contact with him - not to mention that he could be further a source for more clients to my private practice - so I was nice and polite.

He started texting me a lot. A Lot. Daily. Ok, I wanted the friendship and the contact, but not any relationship. I am not looking for any kind of boyfriend or partner or anything. By the second day he was already asking me if I had a partner, so I told him that I wasn't into relationships. He did try to make his case defending relationships, but not in a too pushy way, but it did was... unpleasant. He clearly thought he would need to "work me" in order to convert me. Yeah... no.

We kept texting back and forth, me pushing longer and longer pauses, and him quite clearly trying to get into the space of intimacy in conversation that would help him leap closer to a relationship. He also started to unload a lot of personal stuff about himself that I've found... intrusive. I don't know him all that much, and I don't need a crash course about him either. The whole feeling about him was that of a person absoutely desperate to get a partner, like the kind of person that invites you to a date (not even starting with a non-date casual meeting for coffee after work), and by the time water is served states that they don't want to waste time with someone who doesn't want to commit for the long run. And I say this because, by the second day he was sending me a frog emoji and saying stuff like "your frog brought us together", and then saying the third day that he was happy to have met a woman like me, "with values". I was flabbergasted, because I acually doesn't know anything about me, and though I have values (actually everybody does), he doesn't know mine and if he did, he would probably not agree with them. It did sounded, though, like the kind of flattery you say to someone you don't really know, but with which you want to get into that person's good graces. Providing the person is clueless enough not to see through the ruse. Sadly, I do see through the ruse.

He did try to edge into asking me out on some promenade, but I cut into his attempts (he asked me what plans did I have for the day... on the second or third day) by telling him I was spending he whole day reading. Which I actually did. Next day? Yeah, I'm still reading. Oh, I read a lot. Yes, I want to spend every single available second of my vacations reading. Hey, this year I didn't travel, so I was going to use this exceptional occasion to do what I haven't done in ages: read, and read, and read non-stop. And you know something? Fuck, it feels like heaven!

Anyway, one thing he did learn about me was that I read a lot. He asked me what I read, I told him in broad lines (LGBT Romance, Crime, Politics, History, Philosophy), and he said "Great, crime!". O...k.

Property of Stormberry

Day... what would be today? Like... day five? He asks me what I'm doing. I reply that I'm reading. What I'm reading? Fire and Fury, and I send him a picture of the cover of the book, so he gets a better idea. I'm about to tell him about all the other books I plan to read after it (A Higher Loyalty, by James Comey; Russian Roulette, by Michael Isikoff and David Corn; Collusion, by Luke Harding; and Fear, by Bob Woodward), when suddenly he goes off track saying that history is often partialized. At first I'm taken aback thinking he might be a Trump supporter or something, though I actually think he has no idea about what this book is really about, or anything about the books written on Trump. But he goes on and on, fueled by himself, bringing the Second World War in his next text, and then how the Germans were painted as monsters only because the Jews wrote the history books (someone needs to see videos about the concentration camps), and from then on, and through some 30 texts he unleashed the most horrendous, ignorant, conspiranoic anti-Semitic views I have ever witnessed.

I was baffled that he thought he could unload such a hate speech on me. Not only he doesn't know me, but such intolerant views are preposterous! And no, those are not an "opinion" or a "humble opinion" as he wanted to portray his hate speech: it's intolerance and hate-mongering. In hs diatribe he called Jews a cancer and justified the many attempts throughout history to exterminate them.

This is a man with higher education, a good job, family and looking for a committed, stable, long term relationship. The first impression he makes is that of a catch, the best party anyone could have. Within five days he proved to be everything but.

I have held my turf, and I have come out convinced that social convention doesn't assure you neither happiness of satisfaction. By today, I could have found myself in a long term, committed relationship, mature and adult and proper in all superficial and socially meaningful aspects. I am free from it, happy, and have been able to discern good from bad.

I share with you this experience to let you know that patience is important, that looks deceive, that you need to see beyond the surface, and always consider your true needs, your true desires and your true expectations before those imposed by society. Pursue your own happiness and satisfaction, not the one society tells you you must chase.

New Year and New Resolutions

I disappear from here some... three months and the whole thing changes! Wow, maybe this is a sign that I should be around here more often. Hn... nah. 😉Forcing  writing is never a good idea. Writing is a delicate process where if you force the inspiration then you ruin the thoughts. Do keep that in mind.

Through Google.com taken from
http://hallodeutschschule.ch/
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Like for many people, 2016 was a mixed year for me. There were positives and negatives, but I think I'll decide to keep the good and learn from the bad. On the plus side, I started learning German, and I've gotten some advance. I get good grades, but my recent trips to Germany and Austria prove that grades don't really show what you can actually produce in real life, when facing real situations... like asking in a restaurant for a take away. I do have been able to understand more and speak more, but after a year, I still feel like my communication skills in this language still have loads of room to grow.

I also got my diploma in Accounting and got into the... well, I don't really know how to explain this, but like into the Association that allows me to practice Accounting. I also finished all the subjects I need to take for Finance, so this year I'll submit my project for my thesis. Yay!! So excited!!

I read about 36 books, which was over the goal of 24 books I had set at the begining of the year, and then I had this FABULOUS idea about reclaiming my time with myself and do the Letter Writing Monday Project, which I fully intend to carry on for 2017. As result of this fabulous thing, I finally worked through my pile of letters and replied to all of my penpals. :-) It felt amazing!

I kept going to the nutritionist and basically I've kept my weight all year with just minimal fluctuations, but all within the range of my ideal weight.

On the learning side, I learned more about my friends, people I consider my friends, and also about myself. I rediscovered the importance of giving yourself your place, and not to be afraid of claiming it back. Respect starts with you, and if you don't respect yourself you can't expect others to respect you. Don't push yourself to the side, don't be always accomodating to others, because if you give up so easily your requests, nobody will ever fulfill them. What do I mean? Things as simple as actually standing up and enforcing your right also be considered in the decision making, your choices and preferences also taken in account, and from time to time, others to accomodate to them, not always you accomodating to others. 2016 taught me that even I have to take stock of what I want and what I allow to happen.

I made so little to no exercise, that I also learned that, as I made time for Letter Writing and German, I must make time to do some exercise. This year I went, for the first time in my life, to skating. It didn't go very well. Well, it just didn't go. At all. BUT I made the effort and I want to keep trying. So I think I'll try and get myself a pair of rollerblades and practice some at home to get better stability - though ice skating and rollerblading are so different! - and then come back by the end of the year and give it another try. And  this time ask before hand if the "trainers rink" is open, because the regular one is one hell of a rink! >_<

I'd like to add yoga back into my routine and go back to the gym, maybe even go back to Archery, though I really have to find a way to fit all that into my available time.

I went quite well for the tracking of my finances, until the last... six weeks? Then it got off the wagon. The controlling of the budget was much more difficult, BUT that means I still have room for improvement.

Spiritually, I didn't do much, let go of my Pagan studies and practices, which have given me much solace, truth to be told. I haven't felt particularly Christian either, though that's the faith I identify with the most. I'm considering the possibility of trying out my Pagan side this year, maybe do a test, a Year and a Day of studying, as if to convert to Paganism, and see how I feel about it, how my relationship with God matures through the process and experiment how I feel as a Pagan. Solitary Witchcraft is an option, and though the Church excludes the possibility of multi-religiousness, this is something I feel as being part of myself. 

I learned also to be more watchful about my health, which I'll try and be better at this year, though that's something that scares me a little, but then, we are all like that with it, don't we?

I have not really made my New Year Resolutions, and many of m last year's resolutions went unfulfilled, basically because as the year went on, those were not the top priorities, so there's another thing to learn: how to plan for the year. I have a new planner this year, a new filofax, in a new size and with new possibilities. :-) Let's see what can I get out of it for 2017, shall we?

The End of 2015

A year full of changes and endings is also coming to an end. Through this year I finished a meaningful relationship and broke free from it, reclaimed my single status making a great change again in my life. This made me not only become free again but also made me feel really strong. I learned about how difficult is to break up with someone, even when you know that's the right thing to do.

This year I also faced the last requirement to get my accounting degree. It was a really hard thing to do and I had to work myself stupid, but I did it. I was part of a hard working team and we did our job, to get this diploma. I learned about the waves that affect us, and how a team must stick together and we must all work hard, pick it up when some of us break under the weight. I learned again that in a team we all have different capabilities and what makes the job more valuable is that we realize that and use those strenghts to make somethng great happens.

For 2015 I set myself 18 Resolutions, of which some I completed, some I exceeded, and some were left half done or far from doing. For instance, I didn't do any meditating. I read more than 24 books, and I ended 2015 weighting less than 63 kg, but I didn't get to save as much money as I expected to. No biggie. Tomorrow, with the first cup of coffee of the year, I'll check those resolutions and make my 2016 resolutions. How many? I don't know. Some fun number. Eight? Thirteen? Some number like that. :-)

For all of you, Happy New Year!!

Getting Ready

I'm a few hours away from starting my new work year. New Work Year at the old place, the company for which I've worked already eleven years. Wow, that feels good. :-) I know that, for some people, spending more than four years at the same company is synonymous of stagnating, being caught, swamped, but I'm from that old school of thinking that values stability, thus a long term job, years invested in the same company are meaningful. You don't want to be a job-hopper, after all, a high-churning-rate worker, someone in whom the employer can't trust because you might take off any time, wasting all the invested time and money of the company in further education. However, be it as it may - and allow me a moment to remind you again how grateful I am that I've a job, and such a good one - I really feel that two weeks off were short. I still want to be on vacation, I still want time to be lazy and stay at home, wake up late and wear comfy clothes. Oh well, I guess I'm only human.

My holidays have been spent quite fruitfully. I didn't go anywhere, as I usually do on my vacations, but rather stayed at home, slept - which is the best and most efficient way of spending any free time, if you ask me - got in touch a little with the more alternative side of my spirituality (yes, I've been dabbling into the Pagan, but in a way that maybe Pagans wouldn't approve, as I call in God), read a some very good books (from my Goodreads 2014 challenge, I've got to read 23 out of the 24 books I intended to read), and also did some cleaning and arranging in my room. That was funny. actually. Did I mention it already? That I dusted the whole room, because I wanted to change my bedclothes, and since I was dusting I rearranged my shelves? Yeah, one small thing becomes a big one.

I also made my monthly budget for 2015 and was quite... surprised at actually how tight my budget is for this coming year. Yep, lots of new expenses I didn't have last year (since I have a new car, Nate), but also due to the savings plan I committed to for this year. Well, I'm happy I can do it, so I'll do my best and try to stick to the plan. I'm trying to take these things more seriously, keep a tighter control on my wallet than what I have shown so far, so I don't face unpleasant surprises. I can tell you that I definitively hated receiving my credit card's balance every month and see it grow just because I always ended up spending my money on other things rather than paying my debt. Well, that was in 2014, and I won't let that happen in 2015. I want to be happy when I check my bank balances, I want to be happy at the end of the year, not horrified because I have to spend my saved up money on paying the results of my uncontrolled spending.

My desk.
After I took the picture I still changed a few things, got a new desk calendar on which I can write, perfect for penpalling.

One other thing I did was tackle my accumulated mail-pile. I'm proud of myself, because I managed to pretty much get back on track with all my letters. I've only four letters to answer, though these are from my chattier friends, so they might take a while. However, I no longer have a pile of unopened letters with accusing date stamps on them staring at me and making me feel guilty. I don't know how many of those penpals are going to still want me as their friend (I know of those who still do, and I'm so grateful for that!), but finally I'm going back to it. To each of them, in the very tone and spirit of our conversation, I explained to them what happened, and then answered their letters according to what I deemed still relevant. Lord, I had letters unanswered since 2013! But I'm reclaiming my life and the things I love to do, and hope this never happens again. or at least not again in the medium run.

2015's First Post

Guess who's back! Well, yeah, obviously me. ^_^ After a couple of hectic years that have gone wild on me, I've decided to reclaim myself in this new year. How's that? Well, I decided not to let myself be absorbed by my job or my studies.

This year I believe I have achieved a lot. 2014 hasn't been easy and I've hit a couple of rough patches, have found out things that have disappointed me on people and situations I never thought I would be disappointed in, but I have not let myself be defeated by them. I've managed to get ahead quite nicely in my studies in accounting, so, if all goes well, this year I'll have my graduation from the B.A. basic degree, and my bachelor's degree in accounting. This year I plan on doing the Graduation Seminar to get my full Grade Degree in accounting.

Last year I was so absorbed in studying, and so wrapped up in my job and the issues around it, that I forgot to tend to the things that are entirely me. As you know, I hardly even blogged, didn't tweet much, didn't check my tumblr often, and left my spirituality loose and wander off a little, rather than keep on exploring, researching and playing with it as I had in the past, but also neglected other hobbies and things I love. I haven't done and List of 13 in a while, and by the end of the year I found myself compulsively needing to knit.

So yesterday, while I waited for the new year to begin, I took pen and paper and wrote down my resolutions, the things I wanted to have in my life in this 2015. Those are:

1. Keep close track of my finances

2. Save money

3. Loose weight

4. Blog at least once a week in English and once a month in Hungarian

5. Get ahead with my accounting degree

6. Explore my spirituality

7. Write and publish five fanfics

8. Read 24 books

9. Get back on track with my penpals

10. Have more time to myself

11. Write more

12. Journal more

13. Be more environmentally conscious

14. Spend more rationally

15. Meditate

16. Observe more, but also be braver, more frank

17. Work on my book of shadows

18. Complete the Scrapbook for mom

Many of the things I have included in my Lists of 13 came to my mind, but I decided not to make them Resolutions on their own, but let them flow inside these 18 Resolutions. Things like spend time in nature, have a picnic, spend a whole day without spending any money, or spend a whole day without making any trash, experience art... these all are things I want back in my life, but not as part of a list, as a little challenge to myself, but as a little escape from the routine. I'll reinstate the List of 13 if I see that I can't integrate them in my life otherwise, but I hope, I really hope, I can find it inside me to do these things, take them back into my life, by a natural flow.

What is your 2015 looking like?

Welcoming A New Year

Well, here it is 2014, and I haven't even been able to catch up with my new filofax, the segments and all the new plans and ideas one has as soon as December 31st becomes January 1st. I'm still on vacations, which is a big, big plus right now as I need time and patience to map out this new year. Already have some Resolutions, to call them somehow (wrote more in depth about them in my Hungarian blog), which could be quickly resumed as it follows:

1. Continue my studies to get my degree in Accounting.

2. Work harder at the office, which in this particular case is a Resolution more oriented to the organizing of my work, which I haven't been able to figure out just quite yet.

3. Keep working on my Filofax. Basically, it means to make it more functional to my needs, and this time add two (maybe three) definitive sections: Work and University (and Finances).

4. Keep practincing archery. My goal hear is to get to 2015 shooting at 70 meters.

5. Read 24 books.

6. Keep doing the List of 13.

Yes, it would have been magical to make 13 of them, but 6 is quite enough, wouldn't you agree?

In this spirit, I have spend my whole day trying to organize in some fashion the files I keep in my computer and erase everything I don't need... and the work isn't even finished yet! To my horror, I realized I had created similar folders for the same thing in different locations and none of them made any particular sense. That's also something I want to tackle, but I won't make it into a Resolution, because it could take years and years of my life. I just know the way I do things. Then worked on some templates and some inserts for my filofax, and haven't even finished and already realized that I've planned so much this new binder would be again bursting at the seams. Hopefully the paper I purchased from filofax will be thin enought to make it manageable.

January is pretty much a month of hope, of dreams, of energy, of plans, where the year seems full of attainable possibilities. Hopefully we won't forget about that. It is, indeed a chance to make things better, to try harder, to make something different, to change something, to get rid of something or gain something. As we have artificially created these cycles, we have in our hands a way to measure our actions and our efforts. What can we manage in a year? Well, let's try it out. It didn't work last year? Well, it could very well work this year! Who knows? Now we at least have the experience we gained in 2013, right? So let's use it!

Now, there's something I would like to take from last year, a little something, a comment really, that could work as a warning for all of us. By the end of the year I came across some people with whom I've had a sort of disagreement years ago - and whom I haven't seen since then. The dispute had been unpleasant, but nothing nearly mortal, or so I thought. They were - how should I say this - well, determinated to ignore my presence, but in a way that came a bit... childish. I was taken aback by their actual effforts to ignore me in a group where the rest of the people wasn't doing so, which, well, came out quite awkward. I did greet, did smile - don't like them at all, but you know, there's a certain level of "hypocrisy obligued by politeness" you must exercise from time to time - but they didn't. Oh well, that's them, life goes on, and everyone behaves the way that makes them feel better. More power to them. Anyway, the next day they talked to someone who was in the previous event and apologized to them (weird, right? Because that person wasn't even the host!), and said that they behaved the way they did because they couldn't forget what I posted about them maybe some five or ten years ago in one of my many, many blogs (actually, not in this, but in one that's hardly read).

Now, I'll be generous and assume that they came up with the first thing that came to mind to cover up some other, shameful reason for their behavior (got into a fight and didn't want to admit to it, had a terrible setback, are under a lot of stress, etc.). However, I must say that my first reaction was disbelief. Could it be that my simple, subjective, humble opinion is so powerful that it actually has the power to mark other people's lives? Because in order to do that, it would mean that my opinion has much more strenght than the opinion people have of themselves. Am I perceived as a sort of Guru of Life? Am I an Oracle of Personality? Or perhaps a Conjurer of Tempers? Actually, no, I am not, but you all know that. Nobody can simply talk someone into change, or alter their selves by simply speaking words. Some words can be hurtful at time, or astonishing, or flattering, or even surprising, but the effect they have on you depend only on you. People only have the power you give them.

They made me think of the Moron Lady, you know, the terrible Director I had in my previous department, the one that harrassed us all. When I was under duress, I did send all politeness out of the window and ignored her as much as I could, even refused to look in her direction when I wasn't speaking or spoken to, basically to be able to keep my composure, and got to the point where stress went to my jaw and I couldn't open it to talk or eat. However, now that I moved on and happy at my new department, I see no reason why not to greet her or smile at her politely. It doesn't mean I like her or that I agree with the way she manages her team - and as a unionist, I plan to work forward to help people under her and other bosses like her to get free of their reign of terror. You don't have to agree with some people or the ideas some people uphold, and you don't have to ignore the damage done to you, but that doesn't mean you must let that harm, those words or that episode take over your whole life. If you do, then that event, those words, that opinion, those actions will become your reality, and you will make them more true than they were ever meant to be.

Well, thing is that this happens all the time: we let publicity convince us and shape our lives in ways that take it out of our hands to become something that suits the needs of a company that leeches on us. We let magazines tell us what to think about our body, let them rearrange our priorities to their convenience, often going against what would be best for our own lives and our plans for it. Sometimes we hold so much and get hung up on something someone said and dwell in it. How many times had it hurt us when some acquintance or just anyone tells us something like "you are fat" or "your hair is quite messy" or "those clothes make you look ugly" or "your nose is too big"? Someone says we are stupid and we fall for it. Then person we have a crush on says we are not attractive (or start dating someone else) and we believe we are no good and nobody will ever love us. We tend to make opinions into inmutable, absolute truths, when they are not. They are simply a point of view of a person. Not true or false, simply a subjective, personal appreciation. Think of the following: just because I say blue is an ugly color, it doesn't make blue an ugly color. Blue is a color, just as lovely as any other color in the chromatic scheme, so my opinion of blue doesn't define the truth about it. Same with everything else. Same with everybody else.

In this sense, I'd like to call upon this curious situation for all of us to reflect on, to take a moment to analize those elements that seem to define us so much, and think of them, determinate if they are really such milestones, or if we have blown them out of proportion, giving them a power taht do not belong to them.

2014, sounds like a good year to recover our power over ourselves and our lives.

New Year With (Re)Solutions

New Year parties and all sorts of New Year celebrations are often a moment we take to revise our past year and make resolutions for the next. Not everybody makes the summarizing of the past year - except if they have to give a speech of any sort - and from those who do make resolutions, only a handful keep them. I'm one of the large flock that don't (specially because once the hangover is over, I forget what the hell did I made resolutions about :-P). Then there's people who don't even bother with resolutions and just toss, drink the sparkly and wake up the next day like it is just another day.

Well, we are not accountable to anyone for our resolutions and whether we keep them or not, and if we are not taking them seriously, what's the point in keeping them?

Resolutions are kind of like the Mission and the Vision of companies: they are supposed to have these, and probably a group of business administrators or a hired consulting team could come up with some great sounding Mission and Vision, print it out in cards, banners and calendars, but then what? So you could also write your resolutions down, you could make wallpapers for your computers and many devises to keep them in mind, but if you still don't do a thing about them, what's the point of them?

Like with companies, the resolutions of many people are basically for show off or shallow reasons. "I'll get fit so that my ex sees what's he's /she's missing", "I'll buy myself a newer car", "I'll travel to [insert currently fashionable destination]", "I'll get myself a new boyfriend/girlfriend", "I'll make more friends", "I'll reach 1 million followers in Twitter", "I'll get rich". Not all of these depend on you, so even if you wanted to do something, you can't really do much - you can't work your ass into getting a boyfriend or a girlfriend, as you can't make others fall in love with you, and trust me, going out more or spending more money on clothes, make up, hair and all sorts of personal advertizing don't do the trick. May get you attention, but it's not guaranteed to get you love. Some resolutions are not resolutions, but wishes. In this sense, it's interesting how people resource often to RE-solutions instead of Solutions. It's easier to wish upon a firework-star, bubbly in hand for a situation to go take care of itself, then sitting down to wait when will it happen.

This year I'm using a paper agenda again - a gift from my thesis mate. It's a wonderfully bound book, so of course I'm using it! I'm going old school again! - and there already started jotting down my notes, and also tasks, resolutions, hopes, dreams and loosely sketched plans for the future. There are my resolutions, but also suggestions for Solutions. For example, let's say... that I'm overweight -  or I perceive myself as such, and let's say I'm not suffering from an eating disorder -. So:

Problem: Overweight

Resolution: Lose X pounds in one year/ Get to X weight by December

Solutions: In January I'll start walking more, Next month I'll drink more water, Next month I'll climb stairs...

(Honestly, I couldn't come up with any better example, but the point is that you not only realize something you want to change and make the resolution to change it, but also schedule it in easy steps and accumulate actions, or try out solutions until getting the result you want. Started with the example of smoking but that got messy! Though technically you can decide each month you will smoke 1/12 less than your current amount. I wouldn't know. When I stopped smoking was because my then boyfriend was smoking my cigs, so it was a matter of expenses versus profit. I'm an economist, so what do you expect?)

So this 2012, are you staying with the Resolutions or will you strip the "re" and come up the rest of the year with the Solutions? ^_^

Welcome to the End of The World - Been There, Done That

Salaam alaikum and Blessed Be, my dear readers! This year started to me as many others before: celebrating the New Year abroad. Ok, ok, maybe Hungary shouldn't count for me as "abroad", BUT, as I've had had my New Year in Paris, my New Year in Sofia, this year the New Year came at the Caribbean shores of Santo Domingo, the capital city of Dominican Republic. This time around it was my boyfriend flying all the way from Hungary to Costa Rica for the end of the year, and not the other way around, for reasons well known for those who need to know them. 

We talked about going to Dominican Republic in spring, but ended up going to Panama City due to lack of proper organizing. This time around, however, with much more time to do the planning - which is the key to everything - we made it to this lovely island, where we enjoyed the Caribbean culture and history. Yes, there were strange and odd things, like the tourist harrasing people at any step of the way, I wrote about in the last post of 2011, however all in all - particularly after taking a walk down Calle Conde - it was wonderful. I wouldn't say it was "magical", because there was so much earthy, human quality in it, that all supernatural forces were erased. Even the shores and the waves seemed like part of the effort of a nation that does know how to work it, but also know how to take it easy, not rush it, but live it.

Part of a trip - at least for me - includes the mandatory cruising of the tax and duty free stores at the airport, where I usually stock up with magazines and candy. My selection this time around included the december number of Latina - a magazine I haven't seen before, as I noted in the last post -, Vogue, Vanity Fair and The Economist. Normally I would go searching for Marie Claire, which had been my favorite magazine for ages, but as things have come by, this magazine has changed going from a smart, women's issues focused magazine to yet another shopping catalogue, with all traces of brain neatly supressed. It does upset me how the roaring "buy more, think less" wave expands to more and more newspapers and magazines, making it harder each time to actually find an article that can absorb you mentally, show you something you didn't know about, educate you, fill your braincells with useful, interesting information, and challenge you. 

After Marie Claire's plunging in quality, bigger concern with adds and pictures of clothes and accessories you don't really need, and lesser with showing the world of women around the planet, how can we otherwise get to know about them? What other way do we have to get informed from a different point of view? Which other source do we have to get glimpses of the history and the present of women all over the world? Yes, snipets can be found, but magazines are far more concerned with rags that won't last three months than the stories behind human trafficking, or efforts towards breaking new and more areas in women's labor fields. Glossy paper has become all about the superfluous and stupid, taking away any trace of thought, any trace of awareness, if not sponsored by a company or a group of them on a trendy topic, such as "Breast Cancer", or any other thing that doesn't challenge society or economical order. Anything to make you spend.

From the batch I purchased, gladly Vanity Fair kept up to the standard I set, though more leaning on the political matter, rather than foccused on the women's issues, even though this last issue had no other than Lady Gaga on the cover. I keep blinking in disbelieve how such an ugly, outrageous person can be so celebrated. Other than that, holding in my head a piece written by Joseph Stiglitz is delightful. However, before I even got around to Vanity Fair, I checked out the overly popularized and commented Vogue magazine. The magazine is an icon in fashion - as many know so - has been subject of songs, movies, books, documentries, and their Editor in Chief, Anna Wintour, quite known and celebrated. The magazine and Ms. Wintour have been also the underlying subject of the book and movie "The Devil Wears Prada" (a great movie, a terrible book, written by a disgraceful, untalented Lauren Weisberger). The magazine is certainly a stack of paper about fashion, with not much thought about any other issues - as I would have expected it to - so in that sense it came way under my expectations. Sure, "Vogue" isn't "Runway", but from no socially striking articles to no-brain articles there's quite a gap, and one that this famed magazine does not manage well at all. As you page through it, you can't see any of the "elitist" style oozing from it that the critics talk about - unless you call Kardashian-like no-brains-only-money style - but the kind of audience it seems to carter for is one you really, really don't want to belong to, specially if you have a university degree and believe in real hard work (not the maniac straining yourself for intrascendental things the magazine calls "hard work"). How can you monthly spend time reading pages that suggest you to dress like a clown, fast yourself into a toothpick and spend regardless of whether you have money or not, because "the trend" says so?

It was still interesting to see Meryl Streep on the cover, so I had to read the article on her to see if there was any mention at all about the afore mentioned movie, where she played Miranda Priestly, the homologue of Anna Wintour. Well, it made me smirk how evidently the sting of the book and the movie hasn't been overcome, as the praising of the actress was all over the place, and the moving was mentioned only passingly, in the middle of a list of other movies. It seems that "the cool people" can't put themselves past the booklet a mediocre writer wannabe composes, and keep the grudge until the end of days. Then again, who are we calling a mediocre writer, when Ms. Wintour's editorial is flat and the rest of the "articles" are blah, abundant in a language that seeks to detail luxury and a sense of grandeur, but that never get's to the nerve of things. It's all on the brands, and the mixes of humble attitude with knowing what's trendy and luxurious, but with not a word thrusting deeper into the vein, going to what's aside from the brand and the fresh oysters and "working hard".

Work hard, work hard... a phrase used up and down to describe successful people who have lots of money and still don't hit the bed before 4 am, are up in 4 hours and do this "work" thing constantly. Yeah, yeah, yeah... so, now tell me what's that "work" about. Is about organizing foundraisers and trips to bring aid packages to depressed areas, or is it sticking your nose to your computer trying to find a way to get millions of American workers to get rid of their debts, or how to create the missing 4 million jobs and make sure they stay? Is it hard work proselitizing for a candidate or a party, maybe a bill about tax cuts, or is it about waking up at 3 am to work on the fields? Or maybe it's hard work to be up until late trying to decide which picture would look better as the cover of your shallow, no-brain magazine?

So yes, there were no articles, so I paged through the magazine looking at the latest trends, what's to come and realizing once again that fashion lately has nothing that could or would hold my interest. There was then a piece (I can't call it an article) about the tendencies and how - unlike with previous times of economical crisis - the tendency isn't towards minimalism (which I like), but towards overaccesorizing. Necklaces and bracelets measured in pounds, not in units, and chandelier earrings. The lines to introduce the tendency were rather insulting, from the social and economical proint of view, basically saying "you can face the times of crisis with frugality and saving, bracing for the hard time, or you can give it the finger and put on every luxury item you can get". Okay, so we are living hard times, millions of jobs have been suppressed in the States, people have been unemployed for years, and their proposal is "overaccesorize and give the crisis the finger". The excuse to do this? "Because youth is doing it and many of them are unemployed and have no money". Oh really, so here we are, adults, trying to get a job or hang into the one we have, with bills and responsabilities to face, realizing that living on a credit card isn't doable anymore, and we need to cut the unnecesary expenses, save some so the next time the economy fucks it up we don't get it up the ass, and here comes a fancy little magazine telling you to fuck the crisis, let's go bolder and still pretend we can max our credit cards and everything will be dandy. Where are we heading to? (In Vanity Fair, meanwhile, Kurt Andersen writes about how it seems that style has remained stagnating the last 20 years, with much of the same when comparing 1992 and 2012, so that makes you think where all this "we like" and "we think" you see in these magazines actually get anywhere in a society quite depleted of resources, with trend gurus that can't get over themselves, but continue to push their own, little, outdated agenda everywhere.)

The way I see it, we are heading towards the absolute stupidization of the population, but not as part as some conspiracy, but also because of ourselves. If the magazines and newspapers dish us day after day articles and pieces of the lowest quality - and that can be seen in the very grammar and composing of many of the articles, where you would expect at least some average manage of the language - in every sense of the word. Shallow articles that not only don't grasp the surface of the matter, working the topic more as if it where a trailer of a topic rather than an article about it, but also because many of the subjects picked are not really that important. What would be more relevant, Demi Lovato's disorders or the levels of poverty reached by many countries, and what that slide down the socio-economical ladder entail? If you ask the magazines and the newspapers, Demi Lovato's issues, no question about it!

Yes, they are consistently working on making us stupid, but what are we doing about it? We keep buying their issues, we keep reading their shit, we don't demand for anything that isn't directly supplied to us. We don't demand, we take. So, demand. Demand! Don't buy the crap, but be clinical, and if you are bored, find new sources, but don't give them your money, nor be an instrument for them to get money out of you and your data for things you don't really want. We complain a lot about quality, but what are we doing to make them improve it? What are we really doing? Me, I'm doing something: Marie Claire is striked from my list, and so is Vogue now. Now it's up to you.

Out with the Old, In with the New

It's that time of the year again, after I come back from my yearly trip to Hungary, when I sit down and start cleaning up my room. Not much real cleaning needs to be done because my folks had the room painted, and my control freak, neat freak Mom took it to herself to clean up everything. Things also got massively rearranged, and though everything looks perfect, I find it difficult to find my things, so this year the need to go over every single scrap of paper was a must in the really short term.

Yearly clean-ups are one of the favorite activities of every single, true control freaks or organization junkies. Personally, I love the feeling of letting go of things. Let go of old papers, let of of old clothes, let go of old shoes, let go of old things. Sometimes it's really difficult, as you hold in your hand that thing a dear friend or beloved relative gave you once, but then you ask yourself: where did I have it stashed? Did I used it everyday? And when you realize it wasn't part of your décor, nor you used it everyday, and maybe there's someone who could make a better use of it, letting it go feels like a rain of feathers. It tickles good. The trick is also to remember that you throw away or give away a thing, not the feeling, the person or the memory. Personally, I'm big of keeping really useless things, such as old plane tickets. But it's the ticket or the memory of the trip? So tickets must go, and what means has already been saved in my memory and my journals.

I don't let go of certain things, like letters - I may have lost some, but for instance I still keep all the letters I've got from my friends when I was in Hungary between 1994 and 1996 - or university papers, but others can be thrown away. Loads and loads of paper, which I intend to send to a selective recollection center for them to be recycled, have already been stocked out of my filer, yet a lot is still to be checked and eliminated, or found a new home.

You can also find from time to time some documentation that though important, or still valid, could be saved in some other, more space efficient way. Scan some old investigations and save them in a digital format, thus liberating more paper, which can be send for recycling and reusing. As you check over all the things you keep around you, at the office, at home, and why not? in your purse, or even your computer, you come across many things that have an inflated sense of importance, that do nothing but clutter your life. Remember, if you haven't used it in a year, you probably won't use it again, but someone else would be happy to.

As a Begining of the Year personal ritual, I cast away the things I won't take with me in the new journey, things I lock in the past, give away for someone else to find them use, and step into the new year with lighter baggage, full of hope and space for all the new each year has to offer. Don't lay down the experiences and the lessons learned, but be wise enough to lay down the tools that have served you, and let others find the lessons that are still inside each of them.

This year, more than in the last ones, I'm preparing for yet another journey, a journey many are waiting for with motivations as different as the people in the planet. Some with joy, some with sorrow, some with envy, some with pety selfishness. Yes, one action provokes many reactions, and these reactions could provoke many feelings inside many people. I'm concentrating on my trip, my journey, my process. My first step is to become light, to shed all excess and find the bare necessities I need to carry over with me, leaving as much room as possible for all the important things that must come with me. Thus I'm shedding, and through this journey I'll continue shedding as much as I can, keeping a critic view to know what must stay, what must go, leave fondless aside. Hopefully it will work out, but if it doesn't work out as well as it should, maybe seasonal cleaning-up will have to be set up, right?

Getting organized isn't something that can happen over night. Perhaps you watch those shows in the TV, where a super messy family or person get's the help of an organizing professional and thus they turn a cluttered "vortex of enthropy" into a neat room you'd love to be in and work in. Do you wonder, just like me, how much time passes before that perfect room, where everything stays in place, remains like that? Well, not for long, I assure you. And it's okay, as long as you are willing to eventually come around and set order before the mess takes over your life.

My advise is simple in this case, though perhaps not very scientifical. First of all accept yourself the way you are. So you are lazy every now and then and don't really feel like putting away your clothes, or washing the dishes. Sure, take a break, but don't take it every day. Second of all, remember that a clean, organized space doesn't put stress on you. Organized places don't hide the things you need from you. An organized place will allow you to find that bill you need to pay, and even remind you you gara pay it. It helps you find the keys, the leash of your dog, the phone, the magazine you were reading, the purse taht goes with those shoes, your other shoe, your watch, the essay you must present, the pendrive with your month's work, a pen that works, your iPod, etc.

Organizing isn't a chore, a duty, a punishment, it's fun. Organizing is the perfect time to check over everything, find long lost item, discover treasures and the perfect excuse to get rid of everything you don't need, or don't really need. Cleaning up, getting organized is the process throug which you get to be free, is the process that prepares you to travel light.

Go on, try it out, travel light.