Last Post of 2023

Property of Stormberry

 I'm finishing this year with:

1. A lot of plans for the next year,
2. Resolve to endure to get much closer to my goals throughout 2024,
3. COVID-19 for the first time in my life.

Yep, that last one is quite a thing. For me. I came down with what I thought was "flu" on Christmas day, but it wasn't until two days later, upon the insistence of my mother (she suspected it could be COVID), that I took the test (there was one kit at home) that I realized I, indeed, had COVID. Oh goodie. I managed to avoid it for three years, but in the end I became a member of the club.

I guess I have this new Eris variant, but if you ask me, it feels exactly the way flu feels like. The first two days were horrid, and now I'm stuck with the Runny-Nose-From-Hell. I'm pretty sure I've blown my weight in snot out of my nose by now. Isn't that lovely?

The advance on the thesis front is really slow, as the current task isn't very inspiring and quite time consuming. But it is, nontheless, moving forward. I just really hope I can finish it this year, as I'm aiming for that in one of my New Year Resolutions. I just want to be over with it, so I can start working on getting a PhD.

Both the MSc as the PhD are a matter of personal goals, and not a professional goal, as my current job hardly even recognized the actual work I do, much less my preparation I have for it, so the extra degrees are simply a way for me to accumulate and explore new knowledge. What can I say? Some people colect stuff, others like travel, others rather party or date or have sex, and I like knowledge. Now, this doesn't mean that I only read serious, scientific or philosophical things, as nothing could be farther from reality. I like stories, and my favoured type of readings are novels. I guess I like knowledge because I like the stories that come within the knowledge I seek: economics (my favored area) are full of stories.

I can't blame COVID for the slowing of the progress of my thesis, but I do intend to use the days of vacation (of which half is already gone) to work on it, and present my tutor with something of an advanced improvement by the begining of next year. I really need to get going, get all this small details hammered out so I can go on with the story behind my research: innovation policy's effect on labor.

By the end of this year I've made a couple of big decisions looking forward to 2024. I paid in advance the whole year at a gym, and so I intend so go, at least twice a week, to get in better shape. With that in mind I also ordered a new fitbit to keep myself motivated to exercise. My weight has been going up and I moved into the overweight zone, so I have to start making changes to get back to the normal weight, not only because that's healthier, but also because I want to fit back in my clothes again. It would be just too expensive to change my whole closet. And I like a lot of my clothes, so why change them?

Every year I also tend to make big budget plans to rid myself of debt - inspired mostly by the incredible success I had in 2011 when I whipped out  a staggering debt by the sheer power of my determination - and this year I have made that same decision with a small added trick: a more detailed plan and an actual commitment to get it done. I have two debts: the credit card and the loan from the FGA. The FGA loan works down in a constant fashion, but the credit card debt fluctuates as here and there I find myself in need of using the card. After much thinking I realized that the trigger for my card is always the same: vet expenses.

I've changed vets last year, as our old vet has become hideous with cats. The new vet is a place that actually specializes in cats, but I have been noticing that - under the guise of worry and care - they have been pumping out loads of money from me (my card, to be precise) for a lot of check ups and test my babies probably don't need. One of my cats -Woody - has costed me a fortune with citologies and a biopsy of an unhealing nose problem. It turns out that he has feline AIDS and on top of that a very serious skin cancer. The outlook for him is bleak and his chances to get cured are minimal, yet the vet was pushing for an appointoment with an oncologist and maybe start a chemotherapy treatment. That's where I hit the breaks. Goodness, no. I won't run myself into debt to torture my cat and make his last days a living hell.

I've decided to limit the vet visits to vaccines and that will be that. And to kill my credit card. So I sat down, mapped up all my forseeable expenses and laid out a detailed fortnight by forthnight plan. It came out quite a strick one, with nearly no wiggle room, but certainly one that needs to be implemented.

Something we sometimes forget to see is our own reality. By turning a blind eye, by not making a plan, not looking at our balance, we try to pretend that things are much better, much easier, or running much better than they are. I did not delude myself, these are my expenses, these are the things I spend on, and my only "wiggle room" are my groceries, where sometimes I run amok packing up the cart with things I end up throwing out as they rot on my shelves or my fridge (my waste basket eats more veggies than I do).

2024 is a year for me to take a hard look at things, work for my goals, carve a path for the future I want from here on and get on with the program. It's not going to be easy, I know that, but it's nothing I can't deal with. I have proven myself time and again that I can adapt and I can flourish in any situation. I am resilient, creative and I can stick to my own plans with astonishing stubbornness, as my recent Mock Lottery Project showed me this year. If I want it, I can make it happen, and I will make it happen.

2024 will be the year I'll step on the gas on to reach my goal to become the Aunt March of my story.

Coffee table Thoughts

Property of Stormberry

 I'm elated today, as I managed to finish the context chapter of my MSc thesis. Such a small thing it seems for many, but such a huge one for me, as I was stuck, lost in options and completely paralyzed by the numbness of trying to write about something that never seemed to materialize before my eyes.  I had put to myself - finally -  a date for the chapter to be completely finished, also as a way to have some leverage when contacting my thesis director about retaking the work and pushing this project forward.

I have been working on this chapter for over a year, writing and rewriting, often feeling at loss, as the idea of what I want seemed to float before my eyes but bubbling so huge, there was no way to look at it and make it "doable". For bringing it into the world, I had the invaluable aid of my tutor, though I do believe he also had grand dreams about my research. He pulls more towards knowledge and education, while I pull harder towards the workforce and the labor market. It has been a complex mix, but we've been swimming around it.

As it happened, last year - for December - he asked to a "readable" context chapter, with whatever I had, and I was able to provide one 75% done. It entailed lots of cutting back, rewriting and reframing, and only the "education" segment was entirely missing. Then he was silent. But we were on vacations, so maybe there was that. On January I had to contact him again because we had to send an update of the advance, and he mentioned that he was out of the country "for a few months", and haven't checked what I sent him, "but he will soon, and send me his comments". I kinda freaked out, BUT up to that point I had not worked much on the last 25% of the chapter, contented with just checking data, websites, and collecting data here and there.

And time passed and I had no news from him, so I started to worry. I do like him very much, and I'm afraid nobody else would be able to understand my topic has he does, plus he has changed so much of my original proposal, that I now really need him to bring my vision through. So I wasn't looking forward to write to the University and inquire about him - I don't want to get him in trouble - but I need to contact him and get a reply. And so I devised this cunning idea: I'll finish the chapter, send it to him and ask him at once for a meeting to go over the chapter, the required corrections and the next step.

Living in a Catholic country, infused with the Spanish culture (or what's left of it), we had a Holy Week, which means a long holiday (completed with mandatory vacations), so I decided to take this Holy Week to dedicate to my thesis, to this chapter, and so I have. I organized the data, searched on the sites I had pegged for information, organized what I had, decided on a format that won't swell my chapter form 35 pages to 80 (originally my incomplete chapter WAS 80 pages with just the 50% of it), and so I worked really hard at it.

I finished the chapter today at noon, and printed it... kinda. I ran out of ink. Tomorrow - which is a National Holiday - I'll review it calmly, note stuff to fix, and then program an e-mail to be delievered to my director thesis on Tuesday (first workday) around 16.00 hrs (about when academic work starts), with the chapter and the meeting request.

Now I prepare my dinner, drink a beer and read Lady Chatterley's Lover, by D.H. Lawrence. I take small glimpses at the next week, thinking of a work meeting I don't want to have, because I know it's going to irk me (stupidity irks me), happy thinking that I would deal with the thesis procedures a day earlier, so I don't bother my tutor with untimely e-mails, while I won't add to my annoyance due to the meeting with my academic tasks pending. So, by careful planning and hard work, I'll be able to prepare for the annoying meeting, and have plety of cool-off time and cool-off chances.

Recently I also worked on a tentative terror short story, though I feel I'd like to work on a longer piece, a novel. I have loads of unfinished ideas, which I call "fragments", but also unfinished novels stashed around. Maybe I could work on that.

There is a delicious comfort around me, a warm softness and liberating solitude, full of books and journals and videos and spaces to express myself that make my life such a wonderful thing. Like walking in a soft soiled forest where even for the hardships and annoyances I can prepare myself so much better than those who live in concrete poured jungles.

October is Here with Mercury Retrograde

Property of Snowberry

I don't want to use the word "hectic" to describe anything about my day or how I feel things going on. It'sthe word that keeps popping up in my head, and it seems like an easy word to describe things, but I want to free myself from it and find the underlying rhythm in everything. Things happen for a purpose and in a long line of cause-consequence chain.

It's not late, but I soon must be turning to sleep, which I love, because - really - my bed is amazing. It is. It's soft, comfy, spacious (for one person), warm but also deliciously chill. I finished my dinner with a glass of Merlot from a Chilean winehouse, I live in my own house, started decorating for Halloween, it's October and I had an amazing idea to present tomorrow for my thesis tutor. And - unlike it happens with other of my classmates, I have regular meetings with my tutor and I totally love him.

Today I made myself a Hungarian dish for lunch, and I still had some chicken soup left over, so I had a two course meal (no desert as I already ate all my apple pie). As I prepared the dish, I found myself so happy, and specially so happy to be me. Have you ever felt like that? I was happy I am me, and I was making myself a dish I love and that each day I eat food I love, and I don't have to conform. I can have my full meal, with an entry soup and a main course, and sometimes also a desert (not always because even though I may have desert, I'm too full to keep eating), and I can have food made in the oven!

I had some groceries delievered, and I had oranges and Granny Smith apples. Granny Smith! Nobody else likes green apples and I don't have to compromise! What a wonderful sensation! I even thought about making another apple pie, which I may or may not do. The sky is the limit.

I wore rings today on my fingers, and my hair loose. And it felt great! There is something in this thing, of me finding myself, giving into my desires, that makes me happy, liberates me and so I find myself being more inspired. I did great advances at one of my projects at my job, and I didn't cover for a lazy coworker. I remained honest and did my best, and my best was acually quite good.

And I had an idea that might be a breakthrough for my Master's Thesis! Oh, I hope it works out.

Money is a bit tight now, as I strive to save and I had some of my household stock running low, but I'm still keeping an eye on the goal. I might end up going to the beach with my Honduran classmates, but one way or the other, I intend to take some vacations in the beginning of November.

October is not only my witchy month. but also my creative month. And I feel it. Even with the Mercury Retrograde, I feel the inspiration and the great ideas coming.

The Road so Far

Starbucks at MOM Park
Picture by stormberry

A few days ago I was thinking about blogging (FINALLY!!) on a the subject of relationship - again - and how in some cases people seems perfectly happy blaming others for what's basically their own fault or their own dysfunction. Of course, by now you are all very smart little peas and you are aware that every time I talk about something is because something has happened around me, or something made me aware of that particular subject. Then again, I don't mind you, Lovely Nameless Unheard Of Readers, knowing about those things because you and I will never, ever meet in real life, right? Except that... I almost told someone who knows me in Real Life about this blog, and THEN I had to stop myself and think about it. And this person and their entourage tend to read into everything, and so, that gave me pause. Shall I express myself here, or shall I wait? You see, this is the good thing about a journal: you don't have to wait because it's private and every single thought can go in there, untreated, unfiltered, pure and raw.

We are already past the middle of the year now, and as I hurried to read what could be read in my blog - previous to consider sharing it with that person I mentioned earlier - I found a post where I expressed my goals and wishes for this year. Oh, how we dream in January, only to look back in August and say "Well, that's a wish you can recycle because ain't no gonna happen this year". Thus, though I really wanted to go back to archery, that shall be postponed because my time is otherwise occupied. The idea of goig to yoga was nice... it's just that I'm not really feeling it. You know what I mean? I'm not really there. Also have planned on oing back to the 90 Minutos PowerAde free fitness program, and that didn't happen either. So what had happened?

2017 has been the year of the Study. I advanced in German all the way to B1C, which I'm coursing now, at the end of which I'm supposed to do the B1 Zertifikat test, and pass it if I want to continue to take B2 classes. B1 is supposed to be the "intermediate level". You know, where you are still not a pro but you already can understand well and express yourself well. Yeah, not my case. I've been studying German for a year and a half now, and I feel like I don't know anything! I was surer expressing myself when I was in the beginners levels. It's so not fun.

I also finally managed to enroll into Service Marketing, which is one of the last 3 subjects I must complete to finish the Marketing Career. IF the program doesn't change before I can properly enter the career and do my thesis. The class has had some minor complications, as I had to submit some homework and papers and was supposed to do so persomally, but then I had this three week trip to Hungary in summer that cut into it. Thanks the gods, the teacher knows me from other courses I've taken and we are in good terms, so he let me submit my papers by e-mail. It was quite an adventure, because I spent part of my vacations working on that paper. In the end, it came out just perfect.

At the same time, I've got into the Directed Investigation course for Finance, which is basically one of two semester classes I must take during which I write my Finance Thesis. Dear gods of old, this is happening too! I pray all goes well with this. It feels so big to be here again, writing a thesis and getting ready to finish yet another cycle of studies in my life. I'm overwhelmed.

In this light, I believe it's easy to understand why I haven't kept up either with my Letter Writing Mondays. I want to, I'd like to, but I'm not sure I can afford it with all the things currently looming over me. I've been thinking about giving it a forgiving twist, make it at home, a couple of hours, so that I can still study a little and not feel so pressed, but it's not easy, I must say. Letters slowly accumulate again, and I don't want to be in that same spot again. Time management sometimes is complicated.

The trip to Hungary... well, maybe I'll talk about that some other time. I mean, it was good, and I didn't spend much tme in Hungary per se. I went to Vienna, because I always do, and then went to Essen to visit my friend and then went to Amsterdam with them and it was beautiful. Of course, things can't be perfect, so I developped an allergy the likes of which I have not had in ten years, coughing my voice raw, getting a dripping nose, coughing until nearly suffocating myself... and then an unsightly case of dropping blood pressure. I felt so bad for my friend! Hope they don't think it's on them, or that I'm some ailing old lady.

Hungary and Austria were awful. The temperature was between 30°C and 40°C around the clock. Heat and I don't get along very well. I even got a rush from the allergy on my face! It was hell on earth. Not fun.

Back in Costa Rica, I met with my friend Li for a coffee, and I noticed her very changed. My goodness, she looked so thin and young! I was so surprised I couldn't stop admiring her. Yes, she is doing better, claiming her life back, checking what she eats (she has sworn off carbs), and she has started putting on make up. Wow, I though, I shall try my hand at that! And so I have been, playing around with some BB cream and CC cream (because I still don't feel very comfortable with foundation), and trying to give myself the winged eyeline of Rowena, from Supernatural. What can I say? I'm not girly, I'm a witch and proud of being so.

A Plan to Get Back on Track

Picture by Stormberry. Still on the Bullet Journal Project.

The last period of the year at the University starts and I've managed to enroll in two classes, one of which is the last subject I need to pass to complete my studies for the Finance diploma. I'm so close!! I'm excited and full of energy and hope, but at the same time I remember the hard lessons learned during the past period, where here and there I sometimes lost sight of my schedule and then got lots of work to do. My schedule was quite packed, I must admit, and there were days where I worked myself close to an aneurism (so to say), with so much I studied and how hard I did my summaries and readings. This meant also that some things had to give and me left behind, neglected, and the ones that got the worse of my lack of time were my penpals.

Picture by Stormberry. My post bag :-)

This time around, I decided to make time and give some priority to my lovely penpals, and all the people that had been writing to me, for over the last year and start replying to them. I wasn't going to feel guilty again when opening my P.O.Box and finding a letter in it. So, since my studies had not really started yet, I decided to use the time and get back on track with my penpals and start replying to them. My pile has been going thinner and thinner as I reply to my friends, managing already to send out four letters, and then this very weekend finding the time and the energy to reply to seven friends! Wow, that's quite a feat for someone like me, who usually takes a couple of days to reply to one letter. :-) I normally write the very way I speak: I just don't shut up. Really. But this time I tried to practice some restriction and gathered my thoughts better for the benefit of my friends. :-)

However, I have many penpals and it's not fair to either of them for me to reply to them only once a year or so, just because I'm studying. Of course, my penpals are the best penpals in the planet: all of them beautiful, sweet and understanding girls, but still, they are important to me, and I should show how much they matter to me by carving out time to be with them. This is how an idea occured to me: I'll have a "Letter Writing" day every week. And since now I don't have German on Mondays, what better than make myself a "Letter Writing Monday"?

Picture by Stormberry. Starbucks' coffee and letter

Last week I decided to go after work to a Starbucks' coffeeshop that's close to my office, basically to decide it the place could work for me for some studying. I've been thinking about spicing up my study time by once a week taking myself to a different place, close to work, so I could get to study without having been drained first by the traffic jams one always finds at that time of the day. This Starbucks is quite loud, so it would hardly be ideal for studying, not to mention that it tends to be quite packed, but as I sat there writing my letters with a cup of Latin American blend of Espresso Roast, I realized that the place was perfect for this. And that became a seed of an idea that slowly took roots in my head until the decision of a "Letter Writing Monday" was born.

On Tumblr I follow a lot of blogs that have to do with studying, and lot of them show pictures of notes, summaries, mind maps, neat desks and notes covering tables with a laptop here and there, and a trademark Starbucks cup. Not many of these talk to you about programmed down time, and down time is needed. So, I need to reply to my friends, and I need to plan in a break in my schedule, make time for classes, studies, readings, and yes, me-time with letter writing, friend-meeting and movie nights.

I still haven't thought about installing a particular date for meeting with my friends, whom I haven't seen in quite a few weeks now, but to begin with the new period, I'm setting my letter-days and my initial study days. :-) All the rest will come around.

Oh, BTW, on the matter of the Bullet Journal, I'm about to finish my notebook, which will complete my project. I have been thinking about making a video about it, my first, because it might be too much for photographing and then writing a post about it. Who knows. As it is, there are nice parts of it, and parts I didn't like so much. My planning system with have a little variation for next year - and not only the new binder I'm planning on getting. But we shall see about that.

And So The Race Starts

My notes on Economics

I don't remember ever having a period at the University quite like this one. First of all, the period to enroll in the classes was separated only by a week's time from the first tutorials. (Here I'd like to remind all that this University is a D-learning one, thus you don't have weekly classes like in all other universities, but only four tutorials through the whole period: two before the first test and two before the last (or second) test. As it is, you really have to read the material for each tutorial ahead because most tutorials are about answering questions of what you didn't understand from your readings.) This would have given you a really small widow of oportunity to prepare for the tutorial if it weren't for the fact that 1. after online enrolling you are supposed to go to your Study Center to pick up your books, on the week of the enrolling, except this time there were NO BOOKS at the Study Center; and 2. Neither the books nor the schedules of the tutorials were to be available but on the week when the tutorials were supposed to begin. I bet you can imagine the stress this lack of proper planning created in not a few of us.

To be honest, I was quite surprised at first because of the really short time between the enrolling week and the tutorials, but then, as things started to unroll, it just got worse. The Study Centers (these are like the University's local seats, and every student must be subscribed to one of these, for it is at these where they are supposed to do their tests and where they must render their papers, when the classes they take have papers to be rendered in physical format) had no time to prepare, specially since the new order for enrolling was that the materials for each student were to be sent to the Study Centers according to the enrollment for each class. This way the University could control their material inventory better. What's this "material"? Well, at this University, you don't need to buy books for the classes, but the books you'll need are included in the cost of the subject (all subjects for the different levels have the same price, so there's no such a thing as you paying more for some classes for the same level or less for others. For instance, all subjects for Bachelor's degree have a cost of $80). Some books cost more than the cost of the subject, so you can imagine than some of those could cost more on the market. Probably the system was implemented to control possible "missmanagements" of these materials. Normally the material for the classes doesn't change much through several periods, so the books not used up in a period can be used in later periods.

Anyway, even if I wanted to, being that I'm enrolled in a specific Study Center I can't pick up my books at other Study Centers. So the harrassing of the centers began, with a convenient "drop of the lines" right after the enrollment week ended. No phone line worked, and nobody responded to the online chats. The only answer was that tutorial schedules would be posted on January 30th, and books would be delievered after February 3rd. And tutorials began on February 2nd. What if your tutorial was on February 2nd? How would you prepare for it or even follow the lecture of the tutor (some tutors do impart lectures) if you don't have the book? I, for instance, have actually a tutorial on Febrary 3rd.

Anyway, since I knew that a certain Study Center was delievering the books on January 29th, I decided to go to my Study Center and ask if, for some miracle, or by leaning on the many years I've known them and our friendship, they would release my books earlier. So I went yesterday there - after quite a long morning and noon taking care of banking things (paid out my credit card and got HORRIFIED at how much I had to pay. Really, I had expected less, and the amount shocked me to no ends. Thanks Hyne I had some extra money to cover for that, because it really took out my jugular). As it turned out, it was great that I did so, for they had the books and they were willing to give me my books - stamping on my receipt a February date, since they weren't allowed to deliever the books before the official date.

The schedules that were supposed to be posted yesterday didn't got posted until today, where I realized that, yes, I have two classes on Saturday (one Saturday for one class, and another for the other), and on Wednesday. One of the subjects had an e-book, which was also quite complicated to download, and the tutor on charge wasn't really of much help to get to it. It turns out that that book - which was the first I've got - belongs to a subject for which I'll have the tutorials on the second week. Great. So I could advance on the subject for which I had more time to prepare.

On this period I enrolled on two classes for the Marketing career, and one for the Finance career. Finance is my priority, but there was no other class offered from the ones I need to take to complete my degree. That's why I decided to go mixing my classes for both careers. One single class would be so boring. Well, at least for me. Or so I thought until I saw how many projects and papers I'll have to prepare. And on top of all, I have the German classes at the Goethe Center, which are twice a week. Something like this was a piece of cake for me when I was 20 years old, we shall see how the 40 years old me is capable to handle this.

Rushing with the University

Ok, I've been going a little MIA on you all, considering that I wanted to write every week this year and I already missed a week somewhere in there. There isn't really much to report to you guys, except that I've been heavily neglecting my exercise program - this meaning that I'm doing only my morning workout, and the Sunday workout at the Metropolitan Park (some 90 Minutes Powerade program consisting on 45 minutes of Tae-Bo followed by 45 minutes of Zumba, in a completely free activity, sponsored by Powerade Energy Drink) - since I've been pretty much consumed by the audiing work we have to do for the final Graduation Seminar at the University.

This project got me a little anxious. For some reason my groupmates have all already finished their parts but I'm basically stuck in the mud with mine. It's kind of difficult to imagine that only my parts have so much trouble, so I'm thinking that they are far more efficient than I am, and that I'm taking a much more "forensic" approach rather than a regular "financial" approach. In other words, I'm chasing after everything, sticking my nose into everything, examining everything and then going like a bloodhound for whatever mistakes I've found. The other kids are working really hard and finishing all their parts, taking on new tasks to get all done, and I'm here, dragging my cart. What worries me also is that I'm afraid that my parts would be too detailed, too excesive compared with their parts and that could make he whole thing look disproportionate. I think I'll have to talk to the coordinator of the project and ask her about the work papers she's preparing so I don't go overboard with mine. From what I!ve gathered, I've already did way too many.

On my soulful tumblr (I've too, one more into entertainment, dedicated to follow series I like and fanfics, and another to track design, organization, Paganism and studying), I've seen plenty of beautiful pictures of notes and studying techniques used by several students from all carriers and all parts of the world. I've hardly shared any pictures, and funnily, now that I've swallowed by this University-universe, I've no pictures to show. I've few notes, all is in my computer, and besides the information is quite classified, so to say. So not even the perks of university life there for me to reap.

These days I have not been pleased with my job either. I've heard many awful news too, and as the days go by, I'm displeased with the things I see around me, not so much regarding the people around me, whim I love, but rather some of the things I'm asked to do. There's a rupture there, between D and I, and he's dancing around it, and I'm also skirting around it as it is not my place to call on that, but things are getting pety. My disappointment grows by the minute, and with it my desire to leave those ranks. There's not really much where to go, but the things that go down there make me uncomfortable in my integrity and work ethics. I keep my turf and I'm becoming adept at learning to hold my standing in a way that can hardly be circumvented. As result, D goes pety in ways he had not before. Not with me, at least, and that displeases me greatly. He neglects his job just to be pety with me. So juvenile.

Blessed Lughnasadh!

Source: meetup.com

The time of the year has come, when we celebrate the first results of our work. Yes, it's the first harvest, a celebration of bread and grain, when we first start to see the yields of our many efforts. Before we even break under the high Sun, before we get disheartened for working so much and maybe not seeing anything "of use", Mother Nature sends forth the first results, and we can see, that yes, what we have put out has returned to us.

This celebration, for me, is about the first yieldings of our work, be it a suficient work or not. It gives us a peak of what's to come in the next two harvests. It's kind of interesting how this coincides in time with the first and second semesters. As August comes, you already know how good your work was in the first semester and whether you need to improve in the second. Schoolwise, in those places where school years start in September, as August starts, students have settled in already about the end of the previous year and now they can start seeing the results of ther efforts. Not only for the grades that they already know but now, but it's a great moment to make balance of how have we studied, how have we worked and what could be improved. I mean here not only to study harder, but maybe also, not to obsess so much about school and learn to have the needed down time to have a happy life, a life into which the results of school are well welcomed.

I'm midway through my graduation seminars, and I indeed learned a few things. I could be moe organized about my time, I could study more efficiently, and when I make a program and stick to it, things come out wonderfully. I've been a little chaotic lately about my finances, but I'm dealing with it already. It sets me back  some on my very tightly knit plans, but yes, the lesson here is: "Hey girl! Live a little! It's OK!". Know your measure, because if you have plans, you shouldn't be the one stone in your own road towards getting to them, but it's ok to loose your corset too. So it will take a little bit more of time, so what? There's more time than life, anyways, right?

But then, it's time to get back on track, and you should learn to do it too, before it's too late. As part of this, for instance, I've got back on track with my personal accounting, and yes, though in debts still, it feels good to know I've gone through all my bills, all my vouchers and set it all. I'm ready to continue my year with a firmer grasp on my wallet.

Source: www.vogue.in

One thing that this harvest brought to me - through some videos I've been watching - is a renewed interest in skin care and hair care. I decided to be more involved with my skin, get back to my morning and evening regimes and start making use of the many facials I've bought. I have a Brightening Moisturizing Mask by L'Occitane, which I've purchased a while back and never got to use! Hell, and that thing wasn't cheap either!! So I decided to make a routine for myself, a weekly plan for facials, including this one twice a week (I need to use it up before it expires), and then one day for a wonderful grape facial by Oriflame, and another for an aloe vera facial, also from Oriflame. I've also decided to start making a closing up towards make up again, which makes sense not so much because I'm 40, but because I've a make up bag full of it and eventually I'd like to use it... before I end up again, throwing out forty pieces of lipstick because they are too old and I didn't even used them. So here I am, googling and learning about the differences between BB and CC creams, and deciding that, for a no-make-up person like me, starting out with a little of BB or CC cream would be just perfect. Lets build up from there on, though I don't think I'll ever end up like a make up diva, with full on make up and a plastic face so different from my own, butI guess this could be a nice start.

Hair care used to be a huge part of my life, back when I had waist long locks, but in the last years my only hair care was brush it and use shampoo. Yes, that was it. No conditioner, no hairdrying, no creams, no nothing. just that. Though I still avoid any heat source around my hair, and conditioner, I'm getting close again to regenerating, moisturizing and anti-frizz products, I'm also trying to wear it undone as often as possible, so it doesn't break as much, but I'm also thinking about investing in a couple of wigs, so I can give my hair a break from now and then, and go to work while protecting it from the elements. But that's a little further ahead.

Finally, a sad piece of news: my beloved cat, Hyperion, passed away this Wednesday. It seems he was poisoned. Well, you sure can guess how deeply sad this makes me. Strangely, though I cry every time I watch a Disney or a Pixar movie, or any time I see someone else cry, when facing loss, I only cry when I'm alone, and it disturbs me to cry my pain in front of others. So I've cried for my friend, my familiar, my dear Hyperion, and did it alone. He was the greatest, most beautiful and gentle cat I have ever had the honor to meet. A true sweetheart, always so tender and friendly, and loved to be taken care of. He could stay in your lap receiving loads of petting like no other cat I had ever known. He had a way of looking at you and conveying what he felt, what he wished to say. His eyes could make you feel loved, and the way in which he sometimes leaned into ou, particularly when you were carrying him, made you feel like it was only the two of you in the world. Hyperion was a real charmer. His death was not only undeserved, but an act of cowardice and unworthy of any living being. An innocent cat, loved and admired by many, whom at least had three different human households (I like to think we were his primary humans), all of which will sourly miss him. His death has brought mourning, for he wasn't an animal, like many like to think, he was a family member, someone who had earned his place in the life of many, humans and other felines alike, and who can't be replaced. I guess I've told you before that Hyperion had a cat-wife of sorts, Cirmi, who was the mother of his kittens in 2011. Those kittens died and she got terribly disturbed, living now with serious traumas that make her to become nearly obssessively attached to cats she lives with. Well, with Hyperion's death, Cirmi has been showing again the same restless, desperate behavior she displayed with the loss of Tsuki and Nini, her children.

We buried Hippie (Hyperion's nickname) in the backyard, exactly at the spot he loved the most. He leaves behind a life that touched many lives with love. The harvest those who have taken his life will be one of sour grapes, for I believe that the pain he has caused to others will seep into his days and turn to ash the food in his mouth. As for me, memories of Hippie plague my mind, I remember him hopping on my bed and demanding attention while I tried to blog or study in a way that commanded undivided attention in the most lovely and irresistible of way. I'll get over it, learn to live with Cirmi and Mûzli, loving them for who they are instead of spending every second sad because they are nothing like Hyperion was.

Stand in the Eye of the Storm

I've been falling off a little on my regular rhythm here. A lot of changes have happened, there have been a lot of things over which to think about, a lot to meditate on, and also a lot of things with which I sumply have to come to terms, accept them as they are.

This week I finished the first of two graduation seminars at the University where I study, with a less-than-satisfactory grade. Less than satisfactory for me, mind you, as I did pass and not with the lowest grade possible. The bar was raised much higher in this class than in others - regarding the grade you needed to pass (normally you pass with a 7 out of 10, but for this class you needed an 8 out of 10), which wasn't told to us  from the begining, but only in the last session with our tutor. Sadly, the actual tuition wasn't matched to these expectations, nor was the actual paramethers of grading any clearer than a picture of the monster of Lake Ness in a foggy night. I did spent a few days mulling over it quite upset, but then again I decided that it wsn't worth my time. Truth to be told, what matters in the end is the diploma I'll get and the knowledge I've gathered, and all the rest is simply "inmaterial" for me. In a weekwe'll be starting he second and last seminar, which will be on auditing. We are supposed to go auditing an enterprise, which will be interesting. I have no idea how people at universities actually think students can so easily find companies that will allow them to peek into their books and get information for school projects. That's just not the way it works.

In this week that passed, I have racked up my debt on my card due to an emergency: my previous laptop - well, my eight years old netbook, Nagi - died on me. He was having a lot of trouble of late, being incredibly slow to open even the simplest of things, like a word file, or a dossier, and then on Monday, it showed the "blue screen of death" as it crashed on Carrie and I while we tried to download some episodes of Hannibal. Nothing else to do, I had to buy myself a new netbook. This one, actually, an 11 inch Toshiba, Björn. I like Björn, but I'm at odds with it as I can't set the Hungarian keyboard on it, and the Latin American one (which I haven't used in ages now) is driving me insane. Choosing Björn was actually a long process in which I requested Carrie's expertise in computers. My only requirement at first was to get a 10 inch netbook, and not in an off color. However Carrie convinced me to look at other stuff like hard drive space - ok, I was considering that one too - RAM, and the processor's MHz measurement. Thus, after a long chase, and me outruling everything of 12 inches and I, I allowed myself to be convinced to choose an 11 inch netbook. I honestly consider it a commitment, because I do want something I can put easily in my bag and also something that fits in the folding table of a plane.

Setting Björn to work wasn't an easy task either, as Björn can't get on the internet with a cable, so you have to deal with in entirely on wireless connection, and have you tried to install Office with a wireless connection? It took me over nine hours to get it on with the trial version! I do bought a Home&Student Office - one of those perennial packs, because I'm not into paying loads for yearly licenses - but if I have the chance to get a trial, why not profit from it?

Anyway, this is how things are currently. Björn isn't as fast as I expected him to be, but it's ok, and I'm much happier now, feeling safe about my documents, knowing things won't just get up in smoke and disappear from my computer when I most need it.

I've now a couple of days of calm before the new seminar starts. I'm getting ahead with my letters and also took the chance to start reading "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" in Hungarian. These days of peace and quite should be savored. However, a damp spot just fell upon these perfect days yesterday, as my cat Hyperion came home in a pretty bad shape. He was salivating a lot and acting a bt strange, unable to walk well and generally looking bad. As we could, we took him to the vet, not knowing what had happened to him, whether he was poisoned or not. He started getting more and more aggressive until he was just crazy out of it. The vet said he was completely disoriented and couldn't recognize anyone. He was in such a defensive, out of his wits state that it was impossible to try and treat him, even after being shot with diazepam. The vet said he wasn't poisoned, but he suspects he had been hit hard and that the blow may have affected his brain, due to which he couldn't recognize anyone, making him rather dangerous. He has been kept at the vet over night, and today we will be told if there's any hope for him or if he shall be put to sleep. It´s kind of awful trying to imagine life without Hyperion. We have other two cats, but Hyperion was, really, like a ray of light, the one that made stuff more colorful around.

We now must wait.