Last Post of 2023

Property of Stormberry

 I'm finishing this year with:

1. A lot of plans for the next year,
2. Resolve to endure to get much closer to my goals throughout 2024,
3. COVID-19 for the first time in my life.

Yep, that last one is quite a thing. For me. I came down with what I thought was "flu" on Christmas day, but it wasn't until two days later, upon the insistence of my mother (she suspected it could be COVID), that I took the test (there was one kit at home) that I realized I, indeed, had COVID. Oh goodie. I managed to avoid it for three years, but in the end I became a member of the club.

I guess I have this new Eris variant, but if you ask me, it feels exactly the way flu feels like. The first two days were horrid, and now I'm stuck with the Runny-Nose-From-Hell. I'm pretty sure I've blown my weight in snot out of my nose by now. Isn't that lovely?

The advance on the thesis front is really slow, as the current task isn't very inspiring and quite time consuming. But it is, nontheless, moving forward. I just really hope I can finish it this year, as I'm aiming for that in one of my New Year Resolutions. I just want to be over with it, so I can start working on getting a PhD.

Both the MSc as the PhD are a matter of personal goals, and not a professional goal, as my current job hardly even recognized the actual work I do, much less my preparation I have for it, so the extra degrees are simply a way for me to accumulate and explore new knowledge. What can I say? Some people colect stuff, others like travel, others rather party or date or have sex, and I like knowledge. Now, this doesn't mean that I only read serious, scientific or philosophical things, as nothing could be farther from reality. I like stories, and my favoured type of readings are novels. I guess I like knowledge because I like the stories that come within the knowledge I seek: economics (my favored area) are full of stories.

I can't blame COVID for the slowing of the progress of my thesis, but I do intend to use the days of vacation (of which half is already gone) to work on it, and present my tutor with something of an advanced improvement by the begining of next year. I really need to get going, get all this small details hammered out so I can go on with the story behind my research: innovation policy's effect on labor.

By the end of this year I've made a couple of big decisions looking forward to 2024. I paid in advance the whole year at a gym, and so I intend so go, at least twice a week, to get in better shape. With that in mind I also ordered a new fitbit to keep myself motivated to exercise. My weight has been going up and I moved into the overweight zone, so I have to start making changes to get back to the normal weight, not only because that's healthier, but also because I want to fit back in my clothes again. It would be just too expensive to change my whole closet. And I like a lot of my clothes, so why change them?

Every year I also tend to make big budget plans to rid myself of debt - inspired mostly by the incredible success I had in 2011 when I whipped out  a staggering debt by the sheer power of my determination - and this year I have made that same decision with a small added trick: a more detailed plan and an actual commitment to get it done. I have two debts: the credit card and the loan from the FGA. The FGA loan works down in a constant fashion, but the credit card debt fluctuates as here and there I find myself in need of using the card. After much thinking I realized that the trigger for my card is always the same: vet expenses.

I've changed vets last year, as our old vet has become hideous with cats. The new vet is a place that actually specializes in cats, but I have been noticing that - under the guise of worry and care - they have been pumping out loads of money from me (my card, to be precise) for a lot of check ups and test my babies probably don't need. One of my cats -Woody - has costed me a fortune with citologies and a biopsy of an unhealing nose problem. It turns out that he has feline AIDS and on top of that a very serious skin cancer. The outlook for him is bleak and his chances to get cured are minimal, yet the vet was pushing for an appointoment with an oncologist and maybe start a chemotherapy treatment. That's where I hit the breaks. Goodness, no. I won't run myself into debt to torture my cat and make his last days a living hell.

I've decided to limit the vet visits to vaccines and that will be that. And to kill my credit card. So I sat down, mapped up all my forseeable expenses and laid out a detailed fortnight by forthnight plan. It came out quite a strick one, with nearly no wiggle room, but certainly one that needs to be implemented.

Something we sometimes forget to see is our own reality. By turning a blind eye, by not making a plan, not looking at our balance, we try to pretend that things are much better, much easier, or running much better than they are. I did not delude myself, these are my expenses, these are the things I spend on, and my only "wiggle room" are my groceries, where sometimes I run amok packing up the cart with things I end up throwing out as they rot on my shelves or my fridge (my waste basket eats more veggies than I do).

2024 is a year for me to take a hard look at things, work for my goals, carve a path for the future I want from here on and get on with the program. It's not going to be easy, I know that, but it's nothing I can't deal with. I have proven myself time and again that I can adapt and I can flourish in any situation. I am resilient, creative and I can stick to my own plans with astonishing stubbornness, as my recent Mock Lottery Project showed me this year. If I want it, I can make it happen, and I will make it happen.

2024 will be the year I'll step on the gas on to reach my goal to become the Aunt March of my story.

My Week

I don'thave a specific topic for today to talk to you about, so I'll simply go on rambling about my week. Is that ok? Well, I hope so, because that's what you are going to get.

This week I had my monthly appointment with my nutritionist, and my results were rather good. I'm not entirely trusting those numbers, since last week was hell week, and I tend to gain back some weight after hell week, ut I guess we shall see about that next month. As I stand right now, I'm only 2 kg (about 4 pounds) from my ideal weight. I'm already in the good zone, mind you, with a good body mass index and healthy percentage of fat on my frame, but he nutritionist says it's better to bring it to this ideal weight, so I can keep it easier. I've been thinking about it, and told her that once I get to this ideal weight, I'd like to consider to push it a little lower, since the hormonal change at 40 is coming close, and I'd like to have room for changes. I told her about my goal and she found it reasonable. However, we shall see how I do n getting to the ideal weight first and then we'll talk about bringing my body mass index to 20.

This month I don't have any crazy plans to adhere to. No hell weeks, no shake-days, just regular diet. And should work a little bit more on my exercise. I've been taking a little bit more seriously my beauty regime, keeping up the facial program I made for myself, and doing that annoying rutine of facial care in the morning and in at night, which has me considering rescheduling my waking hours, so maybe I can get to the office in time to get a good spot at the parking lot. Hell, it's taking me up to 20 more minutes to get ready just because I need to do my face! And I'm not even wearing make up! It's so much time. Yes,of  course there are results, like a much rested look, softer skin, more even tone, but still, I have to get used to the time it demands to do so much for your face. And well, I must admit that I like those minutes of pampering, they feel good. :-) So yes, I bitch about it now, but it's not so bad, just a matter of readjusting my schedule to fit all my new activities in.

The plan also has the advantage that it pushes me to keep up my gym appointments, since I only have two days open to go to the gym - either way, at the gym I go, you can only schedule two appointments a week - so I make my best to take them and use them. Also came recently to flirt with the idea of joining a free zumba classes at our Metropolitan Park.

To be honest, I do see the changes on my body, and I do feel them as well. I guess this is what's pushing me to do more. Hey, I gave up weight, I'm being more active, why not see if I can improve other areas as well?

Yesterday we had our second class at the Graduation Accounting Seminar, and honestly, I'm quite pleased with the teacher. This time around our team has been slacking a tad, but I'm sure we will soon pick up the pace and make things work. We had to take in another member, which our coordinator, Adry, didn't want, but we were told that we either brought up our team members to 4 or we wouldn't graduate. A team was dismembered, since they didn't have a company to work with, so I was quick to pick the one of them that seemed to be the best, a girl named Aracelly. I don't care if I came out looking rude to the other guy, we had a bad experience already in the last Seminar, so I rather pick the strongest of the lot. We met today via Skype and organized our work, decided on internal deadlines, and are now off to do our part. I'm dealing with the Methodology chapter. I picked that one, since I did it for the past Seminar and did a darn good job out of it. :-)  Personally, I consider this chapter to be stupid. I don't get why a thesis (in the end we make a thesis) must devote a chapter to explaining the research approach one uses to dothe job. Fuck, that should be selfexplanatory, doesn't it? What matters is the processing of the information, not all the academic crap about whether we are going qualitative or quantitative, exploratory or explanatory... but I'll do it, since I have those terms and stuff fresher in my head, and I'm organized enough to see the whole concept through. And I'm good at it, mind you.

I'm reading currently the last book of the Millenium trilogy, by Stieg Larsson. I liked the first book, but not so much the second. This third one is getting on my good graces. We shall see how it ends, though. Great books can be completely fucked up with a bad ending.

I'm also working on my smashbook for Carrie, which is taking quite some time. I don't get it, I was able to work on two within a year and send them to my friends, but then I can't seem to be able to finish one in over a year and a half. It's amazing. And it's not like such a big production either! Well, I do go changing layouts, and have printed out and cut out far more pictures that what I'll use at all, but still, that's not the point. The point is that it's taking me a freaking lot of time, and I'm about to ask for another deadline to get it done. Have I tackled more for this that what I can handle; Nah, I refuse to believe that. I've to complete ten more spreads, all of them already planned out, though I'm considering - again - to change some, replace them for other topics I like better currently, and then add some special stuff... if I can pull that. It's going to be cool, and I hope Carrie will like it, specially because I'm busting my ass here doing them for her.

Work is going on as usual. I'm disappointed by a lot of the stuff that's going on, and would even say that I'm heartbroken about it. It's really bad when someone you admired let's you down and shows you they are no better than the incompetent, slime, corrupt bastards you despise so much. It's tiresome to go around, looking ahead of you.

Fit

Some time ago I bought for myself a fitbit ultra, which is this thingie that counts your steps, and how many calories have you burned and stuff like that. Since my friend Dragonfly-cr started running and wearing one of these to measure her performance, I was pondering getting myself one of those, basically to start running too. I wasn't planning on running here, though, as if I do I would mainly be running away from robbers and kidnappers (my neighbourhood has proved that safe...), but I do was planning on starting to run in Hungary, preferable at the Margit Island, which has a lovely running path made of something that's soft and feels cool. This things are called "pedometers" or something like that. Checking them on the Internet wasn't all that easy, mind you, as there were features I didn't get, and none of the mentioned things were clear about whether you need something else to go with them. Also, with prices running from $20 to $200 there was no way I could pick safely something that was really good and what I needed.

Luckily when boyfriend and I were flying back from Dominican Republic, I read on the plane's magazine - Destinos - (we went on Taca) about the fitbit. A page in two languages dedicated to explaining shortly this device made me decide that this is the one I'll get, and so I did (specially because I could get it in plum, not necesarity in blueberry, as you know that blue and I don't get along very well). The fitbit came with an internet page where you can track your progress and keep your statistics. Calories consumed, calories burned, activity, mood, and so on. A real delight for someone so into keeping track and tabs like me (who have been keeping tabs on my weight, not like it changes and not like I would do a thing to change it!), however... my Hyne if this is a hard thing to get by! The fitbit is all nice and cute, but it doesn't seem to be accurate. I climb 15 flight everyday to get to the office, and it says I climb 22. I end up climbing from 29 to 44 and the counter says 75 to 88. I walk distance of five meters and it claims I've taken 500 steps. What am I? A geisha??

The page also gives you an account on the calories you have eaten, for which you log every single food you eat. It's nice and cool, and rolls out a list from where you pick what did you have, and that's okay, and all, but it gets me thinking, that getting fit isn't as easy as one would think. With a thingie like this, it's not only a matter of will, it's a matter of patience. Does this really motivate? And in general, if you have a sendentary life like mine, how further do you get with a program that keeps you in front of your computer logging in your weight and every single snack bar you chew?

My goal isn't to lose weight - what for? I'm fine the way I am - but to keep myself healthy, move and keep my body well. That's why I go to yoga classes too, so is a dashboard to work with keeping me from effectively be more active or is really helping me, thoughI don't know that yet?

All Things Put Together

Dude, life is a hard motherfucker. And the first thing I do in my daily entry is show my capability of swearing. Dude, really, have I written lately a "swearing free" entry? Nope. Oh well. Deal with it. We all have to deal with stuff we ether don't like or we can do nothing about it. Yesterday I was supposed to go to the gym and have some training and some spinning, but I didn't go. It kinda reminded me of this Yaya Sisters' joke Roo sent Lau n me. Hahahaha! Good one, huh? Well, in my case it was most a matter of "period". I dunno why, but I felt I was turning into a Nile of Blood, so I wasn't risking to go to a mixed class of spinning and have an accident, and sorry, but there's only so many tampons you can shove up your ... never mind. So, I wasn't going. Instead I went home, ate chocolates, drank Red Bull and watched TV. I was too tired to even use the Internet, no matter how much I love Omi. So, like, no. My body was still aching from the Saturday's workout, which for today has lessened significantly, but which also makes me happy: it means this routine is REAL and it will have effects on my shape. It was so cool, because for once the trainer wasn't set on making me lose weight until I became a skin sac of bones, but understood, that I want to tone my body and keep it in shape. ^_^ I'll develop muscles! Well, hopefully I'll manage to get rid of some excess fat from here and there, so that my muscles show better. I'd like to develop my thighs and the lines on my belly. Then maybe my deltoids, but not too much because my shoulders are pretty the way they are, and I want to keep them pretty. I definitivelly don't want to turn into some Super Saiyan looking folk. Yes, yes, Vegeta is cool and I like him a lot, but those bulding, hard muscles look good on him, not on me. So I'm not seeking to have that body... if not under me... ^/////^

Good... now I'm horny. I should really, really do something about my mind... like ask if I can get a decent FEMALE brain installed instead of this male gay brain which keeps making a loop around two basic notions: men and sex-with-men. ... Nah, I like my brain the way it is! I've one of the coolest brains in the world! Plus it seems is one of the few brains that haven't been spoiled with this odd stupidizing vyrus that has taken over the world making it a dumber place. (BTW, I should take care of my breakfast...)

On other news, the Government has been analyzing the possibility of making all or a big chunk of the public employees telenetworkers, and so our illustruous Institution, has decided to go checking on the matter, and sent us a survey about whether we are up to taking our jobs home and work from home. Well, OF COURSE I said YES! Imagine waking up at any time I feel like, working when I want, going to the gym when I want, doing what I want, when I want, going where I want... take two weeks on the beach, working online while tanning and drinking tequila... Life would be so awesome! I had to have for it the agreement of my boss, and I thought that would be a tricky one, since we kind of had a « Tête-à- Tête » on Friday topped with me being "scolded" for being "rude" to LD when I told him that I did my part of the job and I wouldn't help him with his, turned my back and left. (I never said that, but the Lazy Dog said so to my boss, and so I was scolded on unproven evidence.) However he said yes, that I was one of the few who could do the job. Well, raise and shine Petite Étoile. Have not been informed about the results and whether I'll be sent home, but it would certainly be cool. I could definitivelly work better, specially, if I don't have to endure certain elements...

Now, the down side of the thing is that in here people don't really understand the concept of telenetworking... well, maybe the main problem is with the "working" part of the equation. So they have come up with these "rules" about the telenetworking, like you have to have an office at home, and an ergonomical chair, and probably will have to remain connected from 07:00 to 16:36 as if we were at the office, and read e-mails and so. Telenetworking-for-dummies. And probably will have to come to the office nevertheless for meetings every so often instead of really letting us stay away the whole time and making online meetings. I, for once, would like to just grab my stuff and go home, work from there and live happily ever after. Imagine: keep my job but live in Budapest. That would be heaven.