It certainly feels good to let go and talk your head off, steaming out all the stuff that bothers you. Well, in my case, "type down", for I'm better at writing then at talking. It's an interesting thing abou myself, I believe, which obeys to the fact that all in all, no matter how much I smile and get along with others (or not), befriend and commit, I'm a loner. And once a loner, always a loner. A wolf crying to the moon, roaming the woods.
Yesterday I went home with a colleague of mine who hasn't so far given me a ride. The conversation we had was like an epiphany for me, realizing not only that I wasn't alone in certain appreciations about another colleague of ours, but also finding out other things I had not particularly paid attention to. Some topics have been developped in other blogs and journals, and so here I'd like to talk about the "self-conscious" matter.
So, we have this colleague, who goes around constantly making a point out of how hot she is. Yesterday I heard that she swears she looks like Nicole Kidman when she's naked. Well, she tells that to people who has noticed her legs are bowed... People laugh at her because she insists she's perfect, and goes around bragging that she has such a flat tummy... and at the same time lovehandles round out from her sides. She uses pictures of herself sunbathing for MSN avatars... while in the office, and tells everybody in the most coarse vocabulary, how hot she is. Then, of course, goes offering up herself to men, and laughing says that "if you don't show, you don't sell". Only one comment for this:
"If you behave like fleamarket, second hand good, that's what you'll get from life. I myself, behave like one of those very exclusive collector's items. I don't sell, I don't show. People who is REALLY interested find me, love me, value me and keep me in their lives. If I were a good, I'd be using the anti-marketing."
Anyway, I always thought she was joking or trying to boost up her self-confidence. She's not ugly, but she has no butt, has far smaller breasts than mine, and they sag, dresses poorly, applies make up as if she would have tried doing it in a kinder garden and never succeeded. However, what really makes her unappleaing is... herself. Vulgar and unreliable. So I just filed the whole thing as joking or an attempt to find some value in herself when things go pearshaped. Well, it seems she flaunts around telling everybody still long enough for her to tell him or her what a hottie she is. Dude, if you are hot people notices it. If you have to tell them, it's because you are not.
So, this other colleague and I were talking about the matter, and suddenly we realized that due to the fact that this woman is so terribly unreliable, and well, so vulgar, she actually has no other assets, nor has tried to develop any real positive features. Given the way she behaves, her only value is her... well... her alleged "hotness", which resumes to blond hair, blue yes, white skin and... thin (if flaccid) complexion. This made me think about people who bet to such flimsy things.
Looks are gone after a while, or they stop being fashionable. Besides, it is said that the beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm sure a lot of people would think my Kari is less than attractive, and yet I blindly believe him to be the hottest piece of man born to this drabble Earth. Okay, yes, I have had hotter men, yet still, for me Kari is Adonis reborn. (And truth to be told, he has a killer body and the most amazing blue eyes mankind has ever seen.) Others might say he's far more horrible than smacking your mother. (Costa Rican saying.) Same about me, and same about everybody. For instance, I believe that Brad Pit, Angelina Jolie, Scarlet Johanson and Leonardo Dicaprio are ugly. And I mean, "I admire their courage for staying alive despite the way they look" ugly. For me Karl Urban and Naomi Watts are beautiful. Others would say I'm out of my mind.
Looks, the way she plays them, are hardly for oneself, but for others. It's a value that depends on the appreciation of others. If I think I'm beautiful, who else do I need to think so? I think it and that's enough. I don't need reafirmation from others, either by getting it for free as voluntarily given compliments, or by asking for them. But when you do, you are playing your worth and placing it in the hands of others.
When it comes to the worth of someone, people should really go for things that matter: honestly, kindness, dutyfullness, wit, brains, reliability. People should go for the things they can take care of, keep, nourish and make grow. You do not need to be born smart in order to be smart. Sure, some people have a special "ease" at learning and understanding, but every human being has been programmed to learn, so go ahead! Cultivate your mind. Cultivate your soul by smiling, by making your environment better, by helping those who need help, by doing your job honestly, happily, as it should be done. Cultivate your name, your word, your reliability, so people and you yourself know that you can be trusted. Wear your responsability not as a burden, but as a banner that fills you with pride.
Find joy in the joy of your peers. Find joy in the small joys of life, live fully, not each minute, but each experience, savour it, embrace it, learn from it and share the fruits of your life, of your gifts with your surroundings.
Yesterday I went home with a colleague of mine who hasn't so far given me a ride. The conversation we had was like an epiphany for me, realizing not only that I wasn't alone in certain appreciations about another colleague of ours, but also finding out other things I had not particularly paid attention to. Some topics have been developped in other blogs and journals, and so here I'd like to talk about the "self-conscious" matter.
So, we have this colleague, who goes around constantly making a point out of how hot she is. Yesterday I heard that she swears she looks like Nicole Kidman when she's naked. Well, she tells that to people who has noticed her legs are bowed... People laugh at her because she insists she's perfect, and goes around bragging that she has such a flat tummy... and at the same time lovehandles round out from her sides. She uses pictures of herself sunbathing for MSN avatars... while in the office, and tells everybody in the most coarse vocabulary, how hot she is. Then, of course, goes offering up herself to men, and laughing says that "if you don't show, you don't sell". Only one comment for this:
"If you behave like fleamarket, second hand good, that's what you'll get from life. I myself, behave like one of those very exclusive collector's items. I don't sell, I don't show. People who is REALLY interested find me, love me, value me and keep me in their lives. If I were a good, I'd be using the anti-marketing."
Anyway, I always thought she was joking or trying to boost up her self-confidence. She's not ugly, but she has no butt, has far smaller breasts than mine, and they sag, dresses poorly, applies make up as if she would have tried doing it in a kinder garden and never succeeded. However, what really makes her unappleaing is... herself. Vulgar and unreliable. So I just filed the whole thing as joking or an attempt to find some value in herself when things go pearshaped. Well, it seems she flaunts around telling everybody still long enough for her to tell him or her what a hottie she is. Dude, if you are hot people notices it. If you have to tell them, it's because you are not.
So, this other colleague and I were talking about the matter, and suddenly we realized that due to the fact that this woman is so terribly unreliable, and well, so vulgar, she actually has no other assets, nor has tried to develop any real positive features. Given the way she behaves, her only value is her... well... her alleged "hotness", which resumes to blond hair, blue yes, white skin and... thin (if flaccid) complexion. This made me think about people who bet to such flimsy things.
Looks are gone after a while, or they stop being fashionable. Besides, it is said that the beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm sure a lot of people would think my Kari is less than attractive, and yet I blindly believe him to be the hottest piece of man born to this drabble Earth. Okay, yes, I have had hotter men, yet still, for me Kari is Adonis reborn. (And truth to be told, he has a killer body and the most amazing blue eyes mankind has ever seen.) Others might say he's far more horrible than smacking your mother. (Costa Rican saying.) Same about me, and same about everybody. For instance, I believe that Brad Pit, Angelina Jolie, Scarlet Johanson and Leonardo Dicaprio are ugly. And I mean, "I admire their courage for staying alive despite the way they look" ugly. For me Karl Urban and Naomi Watts are beautiful. Others would say I'm out of my mind.
Looks, the way she plays them, are hardly for oneself, but for others. It's a value that depends on the appreciation of others. If I think I'm beautiful, who else do I need to think so? I think it and that's enough. I don't need reafirmation from others, either by getting it for free as voluntarily given compliments, or by asking for them. But when you do, you are playing your worth and placing it in the hands of others.
When it comes to the worth of someone, people should really go for things that matter: honestly, kindness, dutyfullness, wit, brains, reliability. People should go for the things they can take care of, keep, nourish and make grow. You do not need to be born smart in order to be smart. Sure, some people have a special "ease" at learning and understanding, but every human being has been programmed to learn, so go ahead! Cultivate your mind. Cultivate your soul by smiling, by making your environment better, by helping those who need help, by doing your job honestly, happily, as it should be done. Cultivate your name, your word, your reliability, so people and you yourself know that you can be trusted. Wear your responsability not as a burden, but as a banner that fills you with pride.
Find joy in the joy of your peers. Find joy in the small joys of life, live fully, not each minute, but each experience, savour it, embrace it, learn from it and share the fruits of your life, of your gifts with your surroundings.
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