More Updates on my Week

It's been over a month now with Björn and I'm still not 100% used to it's keyboard. Spanish keyboard... damned, I miss the Hungarian keyboard so much!! I guess I'm still quite at odds with my new laptop (or is it a netbook? I think it's a netbook), but we are working quite ok with one another.

Well, this week - series-wise - I've got completely hooked on this Netflix series called Sense8. This series is about eight people from around the world, whose conciousness suddenly get connected among them after the death of a woman - Angelica - who is a sensate who, by her death, gives them a second birth as sensates. What's a sensate? It's like a kind of person who can connect, communicate and share skills with a given group of people, who are called their "cluster". At first they can't control their connection, and seem to be sharing in this open-sensory-channel of theirs all sorts of stuff that only confuses them the more. By the end of the first season (they have 12 episodes for the first season), you are not entirely convinced that they have managed to control their connection, but it seems like they are making progress. The story pushes boundaries, touches many sensitive topics, regarding sexuality and some old-story social topics as well. In my opinion, it pushes hard the sexuality topic, which is nice and sells well in today's occidental society, but it carefully skims over social topics, minding how much it delves into things that - taken with much more seriousness - could really become a political topic and a serious proposal interesting to watch. The second season has been authorized, from what it's heard down the grapewine, so yeah, can's wait to see what will be next!!

This week I've also been a little bit more... "girly", to call it somehow. I've been keeping my facial care regime, which isn't always easy, as I'd rather sleep or read rather than lock myself in the bathroom to wash my face and put on a facial, but truth to be told, once I get to do it, I kind of like it. I'm being quite careful to always do the whole clean-wash-tone-eyecream-facecream-sunblock ritual in the morning - due to which I think I'll have to start waking up even earlier than already - and then the matching clean-wash-tone-eyecream-nightcream ritual in the evening, and that can prove to be rather tiresome, but oh well. We shall see if 1. I can keep doing it, and 2. what effects may it yield in the long run. It's a tad of pampering, and my skin feels a bit better, but then again, I'm noticing a bit of oilier skin, though I suspect that's due to my CC cream. Oh dear, yes, I've a CC cream.

A CC cream is like a BB cream, only with more pigmentation. A CC cream is a moisturizing cream with a sunblocking and just a dab of color. Like a very-very light foundation you can use on its own to even out your skin tone. I'm basically using it like a sort of "trainer foundation", since I'm still not very fond of make up. Actually, the other day I put on make up to go to a forum, and the whole day I felt like I had his mask glued to my face, and I wanted nothing but to scratch it off. My coworkers commented on it, said it looked nice and very natural, bu I didn't feel comfortable in the least with it. I guess I have no practice still wih make up, and maybe I should try and practice more, but damned, it feels stiff on my face and it looks so... I don't know, weird. I guess I just don't know how to blend the color properly make the base look well, but still... Well, one day, maybe. Who knows?

Along with the make up, I've been also wearing more dresses, ad pulled out some of my shorter dresses, which I combined with my opaque thighs and legwarmers. I love legwarmers! It's absolutely not a thing here, and I haven't seen anyone else in hear wear them, and everbody around me goes "Flashdance" when they see them - and really, I don't like much being compared to Jennifer Beal - but I've been taking the chance to be feminine on my own terms. I do my best not to wear them in front of my boss, since he has this ideas about how we should look, and I guess my legwarmers go against his idea of Armani-suit-clad-money-talking-professionals, but I still try to wear them as often as I can. And that's not very often, considering that I only have three of them. Naturally, as you can guess, my next trip to Hungary will include a mandatory stop at some of my favorite stocking stores to stock up on opaque thighs and legwarmers. And of course, a couple of stops at my favorite clothing stores to get the kind of short skirts and dresses that can showcase my latest love for opaque thighs and legwarmers.

This "newfound" passion for clothes and skincare is kind of a product of the changes going in me body-wise. I'm closer to my ideal weight (the one that gives me a body-mass index of 22.5), and I'm already thinking in pushing that a little more, go for an index of 20. I'm getting more and more Narcissistic, which  love, and want to do stuff like, I don't know, be naked for as much time as possible. I'm just so pleased and so in love with my body! For over a year I've been careful of my diet, and getting some exercise, and then some daily exercise. I can't tell you that I'm hitting the gym regularly, but I've some rutines, and I try to do something more than my daily 35 minutes each morning every week, even if it happens only once a week. Today I actually found something I might be able to add to my weekly program: The "90 Minutos Powerade" or "Powerade 90 Minutes". It's a program of two 45-minute free exercise classes that's held every Sunday at the Capital city's Metropolitan Park, which is better known as La Sabana, right in front of my workplace. The first class - at least today - is a kickboxing class, which was quite demanding and I didn't like so much. The second one I liked better and it was a zumba class. I actually thought it was all about zumba, so the kickboxing came as a surprise for me, but I still did it.

I had decided to go with a friend of mine, who has been asisting for a while now, though she only goes for the zumba class.

This activity, I believe, is part of a municipal initiative - or maybe a Health Ministry - to incentivate people to be healthier. In several communities now you can find exercise machines at the parks for people to go there and exercise at no cost, and now this sort of fitness activities are also held, so that people who want to be healthy and fit don't feel constrained for economical matters. The success of the program was evident in the fact that, thought it was a cloudy day and it stared rainig at some point, the area for the program was filled to capacity and people weren't leaving even in spite of the rain.

Every week I plan to go to the gym at least two times, and end up going one or none, but with the discovery of the 90 Minutes, I think I could make sure to add a little more of fitness into my week, and so help myself reach my goal. Who knows? Maybe in a year I'll be posting pictures of my hard abs. ^_^

To Get on with Changes

This week I turned 39, on Tuesday. It was quite nice because my coworkers (the ones that work in the same space where I'm located) were so sweet as to get me a cake. And not any cake, but an eggnog cake! Nothing like being older and single and able to enjoy a cake that can get you drunk ^_^. And turning nearly-40 (one more year and I'll be 40!) totally entitles you to get the freaking cake you want and celebrate your birthday exactly as you see it fit. I'm also having today a family-friendly birthday where my nephews pickd up the cake and things are planned around the children, mainly, but given that I already had my real birthday with ethilic cake, sushi and series with my friends, well, I don't mind at all the subdued family-version. It do must be sad for one of my age to only have the family-friendly celebration. I never get tired of thanking my good Fates for making me smart enough to choose the childfree life.

As a new year in my life starts I´m actually feeling motivated to do some changes, live life more fully. I'm already tackling my closet, and thinking that maybe it's about time to downsize the amount of clothes I have (fleeting thought quickly dismissed because, yeah, no!), and rearranging things in it. I just started and there's plenty to do. I aactually had a friend of mine and his girlfriend to take a look at my closet so they redesign it for me, make it more space efficient, so that's on the way, but in the meantime, I have to live my life somehow, don't you think? Then there's this upper part where I keep a freaking lot of stuff. Maybe I could find things there to get rid of, and get myself more space... hmm.

The question of the books is also another that has gotten me thinking quite some. I need to reorder, and some stuff needs to be recycled or something, like the tons of magazines I already read, and need no more. Maybe some files as well. Yeah, maybe that too.

It's kind of amazing how once you've gotten rid of things in your lif, things that really didn't contribute in making your life better you suddenly feel more invigorated, more ready to make your life lighter, more willing to take a closer look to your life and what's in it, what adds to it, what takes from it and what's just taking space.

Well, I gara go now, I've a lot of stuff to organize!

Scarves

Day 4 of Hell Week and all I'm thinking of is pizza. Damned, this stupid diet makes you hungry! So I'll talk to you about something else: scarves.

Scarves, scarves, scarves, a simple (or not so simple) piece of fabric that can do wonders for your attire. And about which many conceptions exist. I've friends who love them and pretty much can't go out of their home without one, like Trish, and others who can't resist anything constraining their necks, like Sonja. Others have a "meh" attitude: good if you have it, good if you don't. However, if you are like me, you are the kind of person that has "scarf seasons" and ... whatever other season that strikes your fancy when one strikes you. I've had my on and off with scarves for a while now - except in winter, in Hungary where I'm not crazy enough to leave home without a scarf, mind you - and recently I decided that it was about time to bring back in full force the scarf season.

Source: From Google

The first thing that's great about scarves is the scarves themselves. Their different lenghts their colors and textures, their flow, it's all just marvelous! Some months ago I went out with a friend of mine, Noha, and ended up in a store where I was ultimately seduced by a bright yellow, soft, cotton infinity scarf. Have used it since, of course, but it was more a matter of having that thing of beauty than actually thinking of how can I wear it or whether I've anything to wear it with.

A small drawer in an IKEA sectioned closet organizer houses all of my scarves, which admitedly isn't much space (I really need a whole house for my own to deal with the amount of things I have. My mom is right in there.) and among them I have rather simple pieces, souvenir scarves from trips, some old synthetic shalws that still keep their beauty, many, many pashminas (and those are not all of my pashminas, mind you. I had a "pashmina season" some years ago), and some quite special pieces, like a purple silk scarf I've got on Finnair, which is beautiful and deceivingly warm.

Source: Google

I have never been much about the scarves and how to wear them, as I usually just wrap them around and try not to choke myself on them, but this time around, since I have some problematic pieces that are hard to wrap around properly without them taking over my head, I decided to check out a few tutorials on how to wear a scarf. Wow. There are so many ways! And there are ways for all of the types of scarves I have... except for my exceedingly long pashminas --- I have to keep investigating on that area.

Anyway, I decided that, since I have the scarves and the will to wear them, now armed with the knowledge to do so, I'll go into a scarf season and see how it goes. The weather isn't too hot ot humid here to make the wearing of a contraption around your neck uncomfortable, and today I've been feeling so awesome with one of my most difficult pieces so nicely set around my neck ^_^ ...except for the dark cloud of stupid Hell Week. Oh well, that's all for alleged health and getting a nice weight. I plan on pigging out with pizza the day after, just as an act of revenge, but other than that, yay! Scarves!

Movies, Clothes, Fabrics and Planners

I was supposed to tackle a project today, but I can see I won't do so. Nope, not this time around! Today it's raining a lot and I feel more like staying home and reading, or maybe penpalling a little. I do have a lot of letters to reply and my mood is much better for it as well. Then again, I have "closet-programs" to tackle, such as cleaning my closet and restocking myself with black clothes for the upcoming month of June. Yes, I know, BUT most of my black clothes are currently in Budapest, and I can't just hop on a plane every Saturday to pick up what I want to wear foe the office, now can I? And I must admit, I have quite some pretty things back at home. I'm also all excited planning my black jewelry and the flair I want to give to my Black Month outlook. Yay! This is so exciting! I totally love the Black Month! Everybody should have one.

Other than that, I'm having a wonderful time, which is so refreshening and uplifting after the absolutely horrid times I lived at the begining of the year. After six weeks at the new place, I can say that I've managed to get the hang of pretty much it and now I understand more. I also see better through things and have realized that I don't need to speak the utterly complex language of lawyers and lawyer-wannabes to be part of the team. I can defend my own speech style and pull it like a pro.

As part of this reemerging from the darkness, I have been making time to go out more with my friends... which so far ended in watching Star Trek 3 times in a 7 day-period, and a meeting to fangirl like crazy about a mix of Star Trek, Teen Wolf (hey! There's Sterek in there and that forgives the unsufferable school drama!), Destiel... and I know there was something else, but I forgot what was it. Oh, and talking of Star Trek, has anyone noticed that the clothes were terribly unflattering? The fabric was disgraceful, with fleecing cotton, plastified cheap spandex and some cloth that not only got fleecey, but the threads parted at the hems... and then all that stuff that looked like pulled from the cart of a homeless. The clothes were so unflattering you feared they were made by all the loosers of Project Runway.

Chris Pine and Zack Quinto actually looked like they had beer bellies and Benedict Cumberbatch, though mostly looked yummy - he's rather thin, so it would have taken FX to put a beer belly on him - when running in the last scene looked absloutely horrendous, like his whole torso was some sort of box, with no curves whatsoever. No butt, no chest, just a box with a head on top and limbs sticking out from the sides.

Now, I'm no fabric expert, don't take my word for it, BUT when you see fleece on the collar, a doctor in something that looks like the round, flat, collared Monster-boy's (the little werewolf, what was his name?) shirt on Karl Urban (plays Bones), you know that something isn't right. Yeah, yeah, good actors, but hey, if costume design isn't so important, why don't you make them play nude? Or grab the costumes from the last movie, or maybe what was left from Star Trek Voyager, but not the third rated crappy clothes! Hell! They looked like they could have flees! Hope no actor suffered from some flesh eating virus after wearing that crap!

Anyway, other than that, I'm experiencing a moment of peaceful joy. Maybe it's the rain, but I feel in happy peace, and I love it. Life is simply wonderful, and though I'm having the usual and normal issues of life, everything is just wonderful. I've been thinking about stuff like other purchases, such as getting a new filofax, since my Sketch's clasp is ripping more and more each day. I'm checking the site quite often, but simply don't see anything I'd like. That's a bummer. I love my Sketch, but they have no other Sketch's - and the last time they had, it was "maroon", which is a world to say "red". It's supposed to be "wine" or "dark red", but it's red, and no matter what people say, "red" isn't a color I consider professional. I've been thinking about "cheating on Filofax" with another brand... except that I remember then all I had to go through, all my searching, and realize that filofax is the brand that... meets my needs better. However, now without a Sketch to please me, I might have to go on a broader chase for what I want.

Talking about planners, today I was talking to my boyfriend and I suggested something that may help other people too: a Reality Check Calendar. Thing is that sometimes you are in a situation where you are in a relationship or something that doesn't seem to work, but either you can't put your finger on it or you can bring yourself to make a change. Say, you feel your job is abusive, but you don't resign because the pay is good, or you have a friend who fights with you often, but you still love them and can't leave them. Or you have a neighbour that annoys you but you can make up your mind to talk to the rest of the neighbours to confront them. Or simply it's you. You feel like you are depressed all the time, or you'd love to finish something but never happens... you name it.

The Reality Check Calendar would be a tool for you to see actually what's going on. For it you'd need a yearly calendar, or a monthly calendar, maybe even a weekly calendar, BUT it must be something where you can see as much of a year as possible. In this calendar each time something you want to track happens, you make a note, or put a color dot according to a code. For instance: say you just don't feel ok at your job, but can't seem to work up the nerve you need to resign. So you grab the Reality Check Calendar and make the notes: the good and the bad. Say you mark with green the paydays and note down how much were you paid, you mark in red each time you had a quarrel with your boss and maybe the reason of it, orange for trouble with coworkers, say yellow for each time you had a great time, black for each time you had a night shift, blue for each time you had to do overtime, brown for each time you've got to leave early... and so on. You may or may not set a date to make a decision, BUT the point with the caledar is that you give the chance to yourself to have a rather objetive view of the situation, instead of relying solely on memories that might be heavily charged with emotions. It could help you realize that things are far worse than you thought, and that could promtp you to decide to leave or change the situation, or it might make you smile when you realize that's actually not so bad, and maybe your problem is just one little thing that's easy to fix.

This is much similar to the Period Track Calenders one can find on planners made specially for women, where you can mark your periods and so actually realize if there's a discrepancy, or you are perfectly fine and your periods are actually quite regular. You could keep several as well, say, one to track your job - say, not because you have problems, but you'd like to track how often and how long projects normally take - one for the family (trips, times you take one or the other to the doctor, how often you must take your dog or your cat to the vet), your exercising (how often do you participate in this or that, train or walk in a week), and so on. It shouldn't become something like a journal, though you can journal all you want, because the point of it is to give you an overview. If you wish to journal, keep a tracking journal next to it, but the Reality Check Calendar's point is to give you the big picture with the minimum effort.

Tack it to a board, keep the markers close, and don't think about it until the day something that worths marking happens. Then make it simple.

What do you think?

Decorating for October

Wow, it's nearly the middle of the month (okay, it IS the middle of the Month) and I hadn't made my favorite month of the year, my favorite holiday of the year be properly displayed in my blog. Well, that had to be fixed, and so, today, I just did that. So what do you think? ^_^

No, I won't go on talking about Halloween or Samhain right now and what it means to me. You'll have to wait for that post until the end of the month.

October is also known as the month of Breast Cancer Awareness. I haven't dealt much with that topic basically because I don't know much about it. I did partake in runs - last year, not this year - and was interested in all the information about how to   detect Breast Cancer in its early stages when it still can be treated. This year, how ever, I kinda fell off this wagon.

This year I've been concerned with other matters, namely colors. I'm two months into being back in Costa Rica and my clothes are not nearly enough anymore. I'm thinking about making myself trousers, since I have looked up and down and I can't find any pants in the style I like. I had more luck in this sense in Hungary, but in here it seems that most stores cater only to the sluts. My clothes hunting has been thus concentrate on tops. This is also a tricky question, because not everything available was to my liking. First of all, they can't be synthetic, so all polyester is out of the question. Then it has to be something I can wear at the office, so sadly most of the Hindi clothes are also out of the question (sad, because that's usually my best and most favorite source of clothes). Then it had to be only on the colors I'm lacking currently, which are pink, orange, yellow, violet, purple and ivory. I had red and blue in my list too (yes, blue!), but those got covered. Well, for some reason, when you are looking for a particular color, either all you find isn't in your size, or isn't in the style you want, or there isn't any at all. Yesterday I had the chance - due to a class I had in San Pedro - to go to LOB, a store that I love and adore but haven't visited in a while because it's rather out of my way. They had wonderful clothes in orange, brick orange and mustard yellow - no pink, purple, violet or ivory - and though I loved them, the yellows were a bit too transparent for my liking and clothes were in general too snug, and I don't like snug. So after trying on eight tops - one of which was just fabulous, with just the right hint of sassy on the sleeves, but which made me look like I had no waist at all, and I have - I came out of my favorite store with nothing.

I've checked Naf Naf, MNG (a red and a beige/brown), Zara (green - it was a MUST - and a white/blue), Benetton, Siman, Rosabal, GEF (a red and a blue), LOB, and a myriad of smaller boutiques, and yet nothing. It's totally disheartening. Three malls covered and only six tops! Well, there are still a couple of boutiques to check out, a Sweaters and a Claiso among them, so we shall see how this turns out later on. Wish me luck!

Discovering and Rediscovering

Though we agree that we can make the difference, that our stand does matter, more often than not we forget to act upon this believe. At the same time, where though we do have a stand, it's hard to balance our stand with the choices the world seem to offer. One of those for me is the activism against animal cruelty.

Testing on animals by performing things on them that you wouldn't do to your own kid or your own pet, isn't something I support, neither I support any sort of cruelty towards animals, and that includes the torturing of even the insects and rodents I don't like. Just because we are bigger and meaner, it doesn't give us the right to abuse of those we can subject to our will. However I'm not one to go vegan because I wouldn't have animals killed for my to eat, nor would I give up fur or leather for the same reason. I'd definitivelly avoid products that have been gotten through proved cruelty, but I won't pick a synthetic product over an organic one just because it's from animal origin. From the ecological point of view, I prefer organic products over synthetic ones, but I don't see the point in rejecting all animal origin products in order to avoid killing animals, because who said that the life of animals is more valuable than the life of plants? Just because they don't scream and make puppy eyes? I am a meat eater, but that doesn't make me less aware of animal cruelty, nor is this a contradiction. (I do tend to say that I like the meat of animals that scream when they are killed, but that doesn't mean that I like to eat tortured animals. It's just a way to describe the type of meats I like, but it has nothing to do with how much suffering I want into my tender loin or my baby ribs.)

However as not many see it this way, it was hard for me to approach international organizations or accept them fully because of the often hard line some take.

Recently, however, I've got more aware about cruelty-free products, particularly cosmetics, and since I sadly discovered that many of my beloved brands don't check out as cruelty free (L'Oreal, L'Occitane), I decided to go on cheking for brands that are cruelty free. It's not so easy, and though there are many companies listed at PETA's database, many of those are not available where I live. Then, as I was checking them, I started wondering about how hypoallergenic could they be. If they are not tested on animals, can they be "clinically tested"? How do they make sure it won't kick up my allergies?

Well, there are actually other ways to test products without harming animals in the name of cosmetics. Some of those include testing on volunteers, testing on patients (I'm not comfortable with that. Just because someone is sick or even terminal, it doesn't give others the right to use them as test subjects. Unless they agree, in which case they should be called volunteers. However, at the same time, hunger shouldn't be used to get test subjects and submit them to barbaric treatments. All tests should be human and well informed.), as well as test on human cells. PETA says that these tests are quicker and cheaper than animal testing, which for me doesn't make sense why would nearly all big companies choose then to continue testing on animals.

Though Oriflame hasn't been listed in this year's clear-out list, it hasn't been black listed, and this company is famous for its long commitment to cruelty free testing. Brands like Avon, Revlon, Esteé Lauder, Johnson&Johnson, Unilever, Gucci, Channel and Procter&Gamble are, however, black listed.

So, once again, I rediscoverd Oriflame. :-) But I think I'll have to say good-bye to L'Occitane... until they choose cruelty free testing. :-(

Another discovery of mine today was in an entirely different area. I RE-discovered bikinies! ^_^ I haven't worn a bikini in AGES, and I do mean, like maybe ten years or more. I stopped feeling comfortable in them, specially because of the environment that surrounds you in Costa Rica. Not like women there don't wear bikinies, but I still felt vulnerable in them, so for years I've stuck with my trusty black one piece swimsuit. I love my black swimsuit - don't get me wrong - but since I've gotten a bit more generous in the middle, and my thighs are also quite generous, I decided to go as generic and non-descriptive as possible, taking the safest looking swimsuit I could find. However, as I've been living here and breathing the safety, acceptance, tolerance and freedom present in Europe, I have ventured once again in the world of bikinies.

I decided that there's no point trying to hide my thights - why would I? and anyways, one piece swimsuits don't hide them anyways - so why would I hide my tummy? Or what? Only flat bellies are acceptable? So I walked into a Calzedonia, where I looked at the different tops and bottoms (they are sold separatelly, which makes it awesome for mixing, or getting different sizes that fit you better), starting with the discount section. I found a lot of fun pieces, including skull bikinies :-D. I grabbed up a bunch for trying out - more bottoms than tops - when I saw a new collection piece that basically imitated the American flag. I grabbed it, and in the end I ended up with only that one. I paid full price and I loved it. ^_^ It's reversible, so technically you've get four different ways to wear it.

I might try it out at the baths, when Trish and Phil come to visit, or maybe some other time, but definitivelly in Hungary (or Helsinki?). I'll see how I feel already wearing it, and if I like it, I might take it with me to Costa Rica. Who knows? Maybe my second Bikini-Era starts now, and I'll be able to enjoy all the possibilities bikinies give you with their choice to mix and match between tops and bottoms, giving you a wider arrange of options than what our trusty one-piece suits give us.

The War of Shorts

I must start working on my luggage, deciding what stays here and what goes with me back to Costa Rica. It's also a good moment to review my stuff and decide what goes for good. Naturally all my office clothes come with me, as well as my flats and my sandals, and my crocs. I'm not sure about my pumps; though as those probably need replacement.

My shorts stay. It may sound stupid, but yes, my shorts must stay. Thinking about this, the other day I shaved my legs and put on my dressing pair of shorts. Not that I have so many pairs - just three. All of them black. I use my sport shorts for jogging these days, or for staying at home. If I’m going out for a little stroll or to run errands I change into my black, string Bermudas. For going out I was wearing my Polish jeans, but then after thinking about the fate of my clothes and having shaved my legs, I grabbed my dressing shorts and paired them with a white cotton, flowy blouse and my eternal black flats.

The day had started with a plan to go to the movies, which quickly morphed into different plans, since I still had a few things to complete from the second List of 13. Of course, this decision was also influenced by the fact that there's nothing worthy in the movies. So, checking the List, I decided to go on and visit two antique bookstores, and deal with the rest of the unfinished stuff in the way. I set my eyes on two particular bookstores, one of which is located in a part of town known by its Jewish history, while the other is located on a busy, fashionable tourist ridden street. And I went to both locations wearing shorts, flats and a flowy blouse.

In Europe people don't think twice about wearing shorts when the weather is hot. With the summer, but sometimes even with the first steadier rays of light, the first warm spring shimmer, men and women alike grab their shorts and start the steady building of a leg "city-tan". In Europe such a thing is possible, but that's not the case everywhere. You don't need to cross big religious and cultural borders, or think about women wrapped in Burqas, laws and religious prescriptions, prison sentences or public flogging, or ex communion, to find harsh restrictions against certain types of clothing. One of the most effective ones I know in this matter is the condoned, unpunished, well known and yet tolerated public harassment. Not one European person would think that there's a type of clothing that takes away your human condition, your status as person, or that would automatically cancel your rights, particularly your right to be respected and have your dignity respected. Tons of people go sunbathing on public parks wearing nothing but a G-string and a hat, and not one person feels entitled to treat them as meat.

However there are other places in the world, capital cities, large metropolis, or democratic, capitalist nations, Christians in its majority, where your clothes make you or break you. Colors and style define the sexual tendency of men, regardless of their actual sexual tendency, and anything - intended or not - in the clothing of women that suggests body shapes, skin or sensuality is quite enough to give green light to anyone - absolutely anyone - wishing to harass her. She put on the clothes, so it's her fault. This behavior is thus further enforced by the myth that women - no matter how much they deny it - love this type of harassment, that this is an actual compliment, and that all women are such attention whores that they dress everyday with one single objective in mind: collect as many “compliments" from strangers as possible.

Then, there's virtually no type of clothing that could fend off the harassment, only options to reduce it or manage to get the less aggressive kind of harassment possible. After years of chalk-white legs - and you know I'm not white! - my legs have started to get a soft, while bread crust color, my very own "city-tan", but my shorts have to remain here, my tan will quickly fade away and I’ll be forced once again to wear the imposed Burqa of my democratic, free, capitalist, Catholic country - the alleged happiest country in the world - where the gender equality exists in law, in paper, in the parliament, but where in the streets women are still possessions, where their clothing isn't a free instrument of personal expression, but a ram brand, an excuse to further deny their rights and their humanity.

What can be done to free clothes, to give back humanity to the Latin women, to all women and stop this daily, terrorizing type of harassment? I reach out to men as well for answers. 

Counterfeit Products

There are two places where you can find fashionable products: the expensive, designer boutiques and on the streets and certain marketplaces. On boulevards or around regular market places, but often also inside marketplaces, you can find stacks of bags, shoes, electronical devices, toys and whatnots. Either these counterfeit products show brands similar to the authentic goods, or they show the same name. People often buy the counterfeit products because they want to access the status those who buy the authentic product have - but with much less money - and others buy these because they find it pretty or simply can't find anything else to their liking. This segment of the counterfeit-buying market isn't normally considered: indeed the counterfeit products can flood the markets so much that people with limited resources have no other choice but to buy fake stuff.

To prove this point all you have to do is to take a walk to markets and stores known for selling all sorts of things at cheap prices. The products hanging from the cluttered ceiling and walls are mostly fake, but for someone who don't have enough money to buy fashion magazines and pay for cable TV, is likely to buy a counterfeit Gucci bag without having ever heard about Gucci, or get a fake iPad without having ever heard about Apple.

Big companies are hard on the fight againts counterfeit products, and often Governments also take their share in this fight. In certain countries even buying counterfeit products is a crime. Counterfeit products are always taken away upon discovery. Information is shared with the population letting them know that counterfeit products are everywhere - even in medicines, cleaning products and food - and that these can be dangerous for their health, and by buying these products they are not only favoring tax avoiding industries, but are also giving that money to terrorist and organized crime.

I'm not saying this isn't the case, but if you want to end the counterfeit market - be it conscious or unconscious - the first thing you need to kill is the need for the product, and that can be done in a way that no Government and no company will be willing to follow: by reducing the need to follow fashion. 

If you are not bombarded at every step of the way that you need to get a Prada bag unless you are not cool, or that you have to have Swarovski jewelry, then you wouldn't feel bad for not belonging to a big spending group. It would be nice if we could go back to think of our things in a more fuctional way. Yes, you want pretty things, but pretty doesn't need to mean "expensive". Currently our societies give more value to the brand than the functionality of the goods. Thanks to this we can find 500 € scarfs (really, and that's the "duty free" price!) or 2000 € bags.

I admit to have brand-addictions. My love for Benetton and Swatch is already well know among the people who know me. I'll still buy from them when I have the money (I recently bought myself a beautiful orange summerdress and a raw coloured long, Greek-Goddess-like summerdress), but as I started making my own jewelry, I started wondering about why shouldn't I try making more things on my own. This is certainly one way to see things, and if we have the skill, or are willing to practice enough to get skilled, but we don't have to retreat from commerce and make everything for ourselves. We should learn to see things for what they are, learn to recognize our real needs, recognize the extent of our resources and act accordingly. It is a hard decision, and its hard to get through with it - like leaving an addiction or trying to loose weight - but step by step, we might be able to wash the glitter out of our eyes, and learn to see a bag in a bag, and not a desired status that not even a 2000 € piece can give us.

The feat is too big to fit it in a List of 13... or maybe not, but I want to try it. Would anybody else try it out with me?

A System in Everything

Common interests and common features are the things that bring people together, and these often become the glue of a relationship - be this as friends or as partners. It happens then that, as the relationship evolves you either find out that the common things cease existing, or that they multiply. Then there are certain things that might look weird, so we are adamant about sharing them, but once we do, when we realize that our friends or our other half also shares these weird treats, we feel not only relieved by not being the only weirdoes in town, but also feel even more connected to them. Well, I'm about to tell you about one of my weird features: I'm quite obsessed about order.

It might not look like it if you look around my desk - be it at the office or at work - or my dresser, the counter at the bathroom or even the way I keep my closet, but I am. When I'm not with my boyfriend at the supermarket - or any store, for that matter - I place every single item in order. It might take a lot more of space than if I would simply dump the whole contents of the shopping basket on the counter or the moving strip, but I take the time to sort every product by type (frozen products, fresh products, canned, sweets and salty, beverages, hygene products, cleaning products... and so on) and arrange them orderly, by size and how they display better on the counter. (Then I tend to collect all the baskets other customers haven't put away, and put them all away ORDERLY!) I would do the same with clothes and books if I could, and I know I have tried, except that the sales people always extend their hands for whatever I have in my arms and grab it before I can give it any sense.

It happens also that - when buying and trying out clothes - I also use a "three hanger system". I would think that the system is quite normal and everybody use it, but who knows, right? Well, as you know by now, the changing rooms are the last stop I make at a given store. I start the experience by searching all over the store for all those clothes that look like pretty to me. In an average good day, this can mean up to 7 pieces, though I have carried over 20. Sometimes the stores don't allow you to carry so many clothes into the changing rooms, so I make a salesgirl wait outside with all of those pieces I've selected but are over their limit. Often the success of the shopping depends also on the changing rooms. Dirty cabins, or cabins evidently used to store things are very, very discouraging, and often get me in a bad mood, which reflects then on my opinion on the clothes and I end up buying nothing. However, the biggest matters about a cabin are the pegs or hooks where I can hang my bag, my own clothes and the clothes I brought in for trying. A bench is nice, it really is, but pegs or hangers are better so my bag keeps from falling over and my stuff from spilling on the floor.

Aside from the pegs, hooks or space for my stuff, I need three pegs or hooks, or at least two pegs and a low door over which I can fling clothes.

The clothes get sorted in tops and shirts, pants and skirts, and finally dresses. This way I don't have to stand half naked in a cabin trying out clothes, or putting on and of clothes. (I always try out tops and shirts with my own pants, to make sure they look good together. After all, I might not like any of the bottoms, and trying out the new tops with them would not be a good idea.) From the original peg (these are always on a peg) I start trying out and deciding with the clothes are up for buying (left) or not to my liking (right).

I guess people has to have a system going on - unless they run to the changing rooms with every single piece individually - otherwise they would forget which pieces are the ones they wanted to buy and which where the ones that looked terrible on them. As an added oddity, for a while it has been picking my curiosity what system do people use to separate the clothes they are trying on, and what are the things they expect from a fitting room.

Have you ever had any such weird curiousity attacks?

Wider than that and far past the fitting cabins and clothes, grocery stores and compulsive behavior, there's the need of a system, and the way in which we normally order our lives in a system. This can be transparent to others or chaotic, can be easy or complex even for ourselves. Our systems make the world around us reliable, and saves us a lot of time. Our bathroom doesn't change location everyday, so when we wake up in the morning - half dead as usual, and with a hell of a mood - we don't have to start the day with looking up for it. We know where the deodorant, our creams or razor and shaving cream. Our kitchen doesn't go missing and the coffeemaker is in the same place, so is the coffee can and the filters. Our system allows us to get a smooth start, shower, dress and have our morning coffee ready. (Or morning tea, morning glass of coke, you name it).

Our systems tell us where we are most likely to put our keys, where we normally put our wallet, what's in it, where's our Driving License or ID documents, where do we keep our public transportation card or our car keys and the radio. Our system records our favorite radio stations, and keep our iPods or mobile phones filled with our favorite music. It selects how we get our news and which news do we want to get. It selects were we prefer to park our car, or at which stop do we get off, even which route we pick, both for going to a place and to come back from it.

Our system arranges how we work our daily schedule, how many activities we set for a day, and how we handle underachieving or overachieving our selected tasks.

The smallest things are also part of our system. There's a system in how we take notes, how we make comments - keep them to ourselves, make small notes in little pieces of paper, draw symbols, scribble on the back of a notebook or an agenda, add them to a note in our phone, or use highlighters, post-it flags and fix the notes in a document with crossreferenced numbers - and even on how we eat. Salad first or along the main course? Mix the main course with the side dish, or eat one and then another, or alternate them (say, stick fries in your mouth while still chewing the hamburger, or you eat first the hamburger and then the frise or vice versa, or you take a bite of the hamburger, swallow and then take a fry. Swallow and then a bit of the hamburger and so on.).

We might agree that we all resource to this, we all have systems like these in our lives, but has ever made you curious to know about the systems others use? I know it makes me very curious. Wish I can research that!

Hot Spring

It couldn't wait another day, so today I hit the shoestore (Deichmann, if you must know) and bought a couple of shoes. Yes, a couple of shoes. I needed them, really. When I came from Costa Rica in April,. I brought only a couple of shoes with me - basically a pair of black pumps, my black wedge heel crocs (which I use for work constantly, not that I'm working now), my flat purple crocs shoes, and my black boots. There was no more space for any other shoes, though I still have lots and lots of them, bit these were all I could bring. I had another pair of black pumps and black boots here and my red home sleepers. These have proved okay until the warmth broke in, and my ankles and feet started to swell from the heat! My soles felt like burning every single day, and I dreaded going outside because none of my shoes could be used without socks! I do have a pair of pink flip-flops, but I also use them inside, and so we don't really want to bring the dirt from outside into the appartment. However something had to be done.

I must admit that I love seasonal shopping. Stores overflow with products and several good bargains can be found, since some stores try to steal away the customers of others, but also outrageous prices. I'm still not very versed in the shoeshop tricks of Hungary or Europe (as I am in Costa Rican shoe shops), but after some windowshopping and comparing prices (which I also did in Vienna now that we were there), I realized what everybody knows, that by walking just a little you can find pretty much the same shoes in a lower price. It's okay to check for bargains, because even the more expensive shoes can have flaws or defects, that could be reinforced in less expensive ones. For instance, the first thing I check on a shoe is the sole, because I have had problems with soles coming off, and I know how terrible that can be! And sadly, nobody really thinks about carrying a spare par of shoes just in case. The I check the inside of the shoe and the way the sole has been attached to the shoe. It's only after the shoe has passed these paramethers that I try them out.

During my checkings, I found in Deichmann these cherry printed sandals. I'm not big on sandals, but I really needed sandals specifically due to the heat, and somehow I couldn't get the cherry printed ones out of my head.The print resembles a lot the printing on the dress Marilyn Monroe used in one of the scenes of the movie Misfits. Perhaps it's because of that movie and because I like Marilyn Monroe very much, or because I love cherries, but the shoes stayed with me.

It got me thinking also about the way seasons influence even the way people select their clothes. It's not only the type of clothes, but even the printing and the colors. More and more people are out there not only in shorter clothes, but also lighter or wearing bright, Spring-like colors, and the girls in tiny, tight shorts with floral prints, or small mini skirts filled with whimsical little flowers all over are the statement of the fashion. It's like women take it to themselves to bloom along with Mother Nature.

Shoes in brilliant colors and floral prints also show around everywhere. A tiny black mini skirt with opaque black tighs and feet tipped in royal blue, lacquered pumps. Flowy black dress and nude colored pumps. Purple and yellow flats, or denim sandals printed richly with flowers, or linen raw colored wedge sandals with flower patterns formed with beads and rhinestones walk around tipping legs wrapped from the knee up in cargo pants or short jeans (not cutoff! Europeans don't really wear cut off jeans!). The heat is here and we are all whilting, but we all do it in style.

We've got IPTV, Internet and Landline Phone!

Tomorrow starts a Long Weekend here. Tomorrow is a holiday - my first holiday! ^_^ even if I'm still not working to enjoy it more fully - and so the State has decided to make Friday a sort of "holiday" too, but one that must be replaced, which means that people will have to work the next Saturday to replace the day left out of work. In this sense, maybe it's a blessing that I'm still not working! (You see? God knows very well, how to do things in such a way that they work better for all of us.) I'm taking this chance to go up to Mezőkövesd, where Marcsi Mama lives, and spend three days with them. My boyfriend isn't coming because he does have to work, as his line of work pretty much picks up when most of people have time to be out enjoying themselves.

This will be the first time since December that we don't sleep together, but are apart. He already pouted, but he knows I want to spend some time with Marcsi, and talk our heads out on the many matters we have to talk about. (And probably get comfortably drunk of János Papa's pálinka ^_^)

Today we've got our services finally connected. Our broadband Internet, which comes in friendly wireless form too, so my adorable Kindle can be hooked to it at home, so I can download all the samples I want, at once!!! AT ONCE!!! That's like the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Were I THAT superstitious, I would say that it's a sign from God that the job that's coming for me would be far more awesome than what I initially would imagine it to be. But, let's not read signs into everything ^_^.

Ever since the IPTV came in, I haven't turned off the TV. It doesn't matter if I'm in the kitchen, or in the bathroom washing my awesome, brand new Benetton and NaraCamicie clothes (yes, I fell to temptation again, but the pieces are FABULOUS! and I finally have a lovely camel trenchcoat too!), or at the workroom writing letters to my friends. I'm finally able to enjoy the programs, and the MANY programs of all of my MANY channels either just by listening to them or by actually sitting before the TV and watching it. No more stupid programs I don't want to see, no more feeling like I've no choice, and it's either what's on TV or no TV.

The guy that came to install the services had also installed the service to other two homes in this same floor, and marvelled at how big our apartment is. I looked around and though I know it's not as small as my boyfriend thinks it is, it's not all that big either. The installer mentioned that the other two flats he worked on are sensibly smaller than ours. It seems also that their  installed services are also more reduced, as he was amazed to discover that we actually have the largest package available, plus an added pack (because I can't live without HBO, mind you). I still didn't like that the guy was too informal and thought it was very funny to try and flirt with me. And here I thought that the macho impulse was a bad habit proper of the Tropic. How wrong I was...

Other than that, though I haven't still sat down to pick up on my creative writing - even though I've a started novel and another in project - I do have finally found the inner peace and time I need to reply to my penpals. It's good, you know, to really be able to sit down calmly at the desk with a glass of coke or a tea and write to your friends, put on some music, let the TV go on in the background and lose yourself in the handwritten words and the world your friend and you create with some sheets of paper and pens curling into the most amazing shared thoughts.

I've time. For the first time in many, many years, I can feel it: I've time. And it feels good.

Welcome June

The Wheel of the Year keeps turning, and we've hit June already. Like many, we marvel as not long ago it was January and we were rising our glasses of champagne (or our beer jars, each to its own), cheering for 2011. From a composition of long and short days, some where the hours seemed eternal, others where the minutes were simply not enough, from bill to paycheck, from pushing the cart of our projects down the road of the calendar, to the checklist of things accomplished and things to still tackle.

It is summer for some, a season of long days, full of sun, full of heat, short and vaporous clothes and the mandatory bottle of water, sandals, dark glasses and hat, threat of heat waves and all the nasty things it can make to you. For others it's the season of thunder storms and hurricaines, tropical storms, rubber boots, trench coats and umbrellas. For yet others it's the time of winter.

For me June is the month of my birthday, but also my Black Month, and today is the first day of it.

It's kinda funny that after several years going through this, the first day is always kinda hard. Casting away all color, picking out only the black, getting into that mind, striving to get all my stuff organized, worried I'll have not much to wear and so on, then only to end the month wishing I could keep the "all black" yet another month with me. Black is certainly addictive.

Perhaps this month, if time proves enough, I'll try out my hand at sewing a few pieces I feel like I need, but I can't find in stores. Yes, sewing. Now, unlike common believe dictates, sewing isn't always cheaper than buying clothes done, as you must consider that you probably can't get the supplies (fabric, needles, threads, buttons, etc.) as cheaper as the factories for you don't buy on bulk. Sure, sewing can be cheaper in certain cases, but not in all. However what sewing does have - if you have the skill, and the skill is acquired by practice and will to improve - is the chance to get you exactly what you want. Sure, in the begining you can start working out of patters from Internet or magazines (like I do ^_^), but with time you are able to lower or push higher the waist, make the dress longer or shorter, tighter or more flowy, change the sleeves, change the neck or clivage... possibilities are endless, and they are not tied to fashion or disponibility on the stores, nor you have to wonder about making sure to boil the clothes before wearing them for only Hyne knows where they've been hiding before you purchased them, or who had them on.

Haven't sewed in a while, so we shall see what comes out of my next project - if I man up for it. However, what I did do was starting a project of jewelry. Yes, more, jewelry! ^_^ Didn't take a picture, but yesterday I dared to try out and make a spiral pendant for a "floating" necklace (I call floating the necklaces that are made with transparent thread, thus often it looks like the pendant is magically suspended from the collar bone dip), inspired by a teenie piece I've got one day with a magazine. The original is a simple, inexpensive necklace threading on some of this transparent line four iriscident beads and in the middle of them a wire spiral with iriscident beads. Things like this make me think that, when looking for inspiration, every source is a chest of treasure. Also made a pair of pendant earrings. A project I haven't finished is an eight thread necklace, which I plan to mix and twist to create a thicker effect later on. That one is yet to be finished.

This is my June, so far. How's yours?

Panties

It's a strange question, I know, but let me go on with it. So, the thing is how much those who know us do know us? The idea came after I saw on yesterdays Criminal Minds' Episode this scene where a couple locked in a hut found a pair of knickers on the bed's headboard. The woman said then to her husband:

" Those are not mine."

It was then that it came to my mind, that yes, actually our partners don't know our gardrobe. Sure, maybe they can tell something is new, and maybe notice it only after six months after you purchased the item, but truth is that they couldn't remember your underwear. Yes, that same underwear the dream of day after day, night after night. And why's that? The answer to it that it's because we have so much clothes simply doesn't satisfy me, specially because I can remember my underwear, and I can remember my mate's underwear as well. Is it because they don't pay attention? I'm not saying that a one night stand must remember, or a casual lover, or a lover you don't live with, but when you are living with someone for a time, and you've done the laundry, shouldn't they remember and be able to pick your underwear from a pile to underwear, just as you can do it?

Maybe it's because us women usually do the laundry (Hyne knows how men are able to go around wearing the same undies until they stand alone and greet them), which is why, maybe they should be involved in the laundry chores more often.

Maybe it means nothing, maybe people would say, that men doesn't even know how many purses or shoes women have, nor they care, but I believe that when you live with someone, each part should pay attention to the other, be aware of the little details, and so make life much more smooth and easy.

Season of Rain, Skirts and Stockings

Today in the afternoon the sky broke loose and it poured. Well, this is Costa Rica, and when it rains it floods. I had told Kari about the rain in here, and he has told me he has never seen rain like the one I describe. Water up to your ankles, getting wet in every single occasion at least to knee high. Well, like I said before, it is time for skirts, skirts, skirts. I don't have a problem with that, but the thing is that I've been looking for my stockings and I just can't find them. Sure, I've a few panty hoses, which I hate, but I can't find my stockings. Something tells me I left them in Budapest. Gara ask Kari, just to be sure. That was swell, though, to leave my stockings home. What was I thinking? What am I supposed to wear now? My spider web panty hoses? (Yes, I do have spiderweb panty hoses and stockings.) Or the flame ones? Maybe the striped ones... Or maybe I should go bay to that Sex shop in San Pedro and look for the wool colorful Rainbow Bright stockings. Oh yes, that's one of the many pleasures that come around with the rainy season.

I know we are slowly getting to the International Female Fetiche topic: shoes, but why not to stop a moment at this quite underestimated piece of garment, the "stockings". With the blissful magic of stockings, you can protect your legs from cold, bugs, scratching plants (you know, thorny or those that can get you skin allergy), not to mention that opaque stockings are a blessing when you are too lazy to shave or (like me) you're afraid that the cold and moist in the air could resent your skin and get you those unsightly and painful red spots.

Many women don't like stockings or panty hoses because they find them uncomfortable and constricting. Well, I believe it's all a matter of finding the ones that fit you well. Soft, elastic... I prefer them thicker but less constraining. Stockings I favor over panty hoses because they fit my legs better. They come in one size, not ten thousand like panty hoses, so you can pick the color and don't worry for the size, or fighting with two sizes because you are in the very border and you hate it when they are too tight around your thigh or too baggy around your ankles. That's never trouble with your stockings.

The problem with stockings, for many, is that they tend to roll down and slide, which is why supenders were invented. They could hurt you if the hooks are too hard or too rough. I'd say check the hooks, make sure they are silicone, but the silicone doesn't touch your skin. Those that have "ribbon tails" siding the hooks are great. Then the elastic hem can be too tight sometimes, but the more you wear them, the more they stretch and they won't hurt anymore. Some people put them in the freezer over night and that helps too.

One other thing I like about stockings is that usually when a panty or a stocking ruins it starts on one leg only. With the panty hoses you have to throw them away, which is a bitch because sometimes some colors are hard to get, or seasonal, of Hell knows what. With the stocking you can save the good one for when another of the same color ruins, you still get a pair of your favorite color without having to hit the stores and go searching for the color you want and getting rows and rows of aweful colors like peach, papaya and hideous blues and cheap thin "blacks" or putrid small town mass-goer white.

Then again, really, one thing you should always know about stockings is that they shape nicely your legs and bring them out. They look good and make you look fantastic, not only warmer and protected.

Wien

It's 6:49 am. Outside an hour ago some workers started making noise drilling something. Well, we are in Vienna, what can I say? Kari is asleep, so I finally get enought time to be around Nagi and write some. Ain't funny either that we are both coming down with the flu. Thanks to him, you mind. Hell, sharing a disease ain't the most sexy or the most romantic thing I can think of.

Vienna in the Spring is beautiful, except that they have chosen this moment to do some remodeling on the city. As we arrived, the trainstation was littered with bags and garbage. Parts of the Westbanhof were closed with hideous wood pannels covering former beautiful gardens, and add to it, large chunks of the Herrengasse were turned up because they want to change the cement blocks of the boulevard. It annoyed me, to say the least. On top of every annoying thing, we went to the Kunsthistorisches Museum and they didn't have my candy. The sole thing I went for, and it was gone. Talk about being upset.

The hotel, as usual, was nice, save that this room has a hideous bathroom. My goodness, the deception. If you can, avoid the Mariahilfe straße side of the Hotel Pension Continental. All the other bathrooms are beautiful, but this one has a hideous one. My boyfriend, given his expertise in the mattero of construction and real state says it's a "mobile bathroom". I don't care for the name it has, I simply call it "darn ugly".

However, sickness, darn ugly bathrooms, littered streets and no candy aside, this place is lovely and I love being here. Well, maybe I shall wait until my credit card balance comes, and I have to pay for a small... ummm... "expense" I had to make. Well, it ain't my fault that H&M has such great clothes, and I did have a wonderful time picking up some skirts and blouses.What I like about the skirts I bouth is that they are not your traditional short, tight, sexy skirts, but they are somewhat wide and reach your knees. The flow of them are fun and very comfortable. One of them, my favorite, I must say, is a bit big for me, so probably I'll have to take in from the waist to make it fit, and yet, it's a lovely piece. (It has pockets! Nothing as good as a wide skirt with pockets because that way you can put stuff in it, like you cell, and it won't bulge out! It's simply magnificent!)

I realized one other thing. Though it is widely known that my favorite color in the whole wide universe is green, I tend to but and unhealthy amount of brown and neutral colored clothes. I had to actually conciously stop myself yesterday at H&M when I realized I was carrying an armful of brown, beige, grey and raw colored clothes to the changing cabins. Clothes were pretty, and really, they all looked good, but why on Earth should one go around melting into the background? Not that I picked bold colors, buut I made a change. I picked blouses of bolder colours, and went with a CLOSET of clothes to the changing cabins to see how things fit together. The excercise was actually a great experience. You see, you can always learn something, get something and see something new.

I guess, when you go shopping you can follow these simple rules (among others you might have) to have a successful experience:

1. Try on all the clothes you want to buy. Trust me, they might look good on the hanger, but you are not a hanger. Sometimes, some pieces are not cut well, and the flaws only show when you put the piece on.
2. If you are displeased with something about the piece, DO NOT BUY IT! Remember, usually is that one little detail we dislike that makes the piece to live forever in the bottom of the closet.
3. Be daring. When you pick and ensamble, take something else, of some lively color, or some new color, and take it with you to the changing cabin. Try it on. The worst thing that could happen would be that it doesn't look good, or that the colors don't match well, but at least you would be trying something new, and letting a new side of yourself get expressed.

Never forget that you are complex and delicious, and you have the right and the duty of being all you can be.