Imposing

Yesterday I posted about how your pets or the elderly, sick people or those with different capabilities you care about, can be just as important and meaningful in your life as children are or are supposed to be for others. Well, this actually doesn't extend only to pets and sick, elderly or people with different capabilities, but basically to anyone or anything that inspires you to care and devote time and effort for. A plant, a forest, a group, a project, a book, a fundation, a charity, a believe, a religion... you name it. Indeed, it is quite difficult often to make others understand that something or someone other than a child that's your own flesh and blood, or legally adopted by you, can be really important for you and deserving of your time and attention. It is an up-hill struggle often at work and even in our social circles to make others understand that yes, taking care of your grandparents is something that means a lot to you, that you are not taking care of them to get the inheritance, but because you love them. It's hard to make people understand that the elderly or someone suffering an incapacitating illness are not a "hobby" of yours or that taking care of them isn't something you can do on your spare time, just like you would not be expected to seen and feed your children on your spare time.

It's hard to get people to understand that just because your dog or your cat or your hamster doesn't speak human, they are still not only very capable of showing love, but are tremendously skilled in provoking love in you. It is a hard battle, and we should remain strong, we shall keep pushing and staying our ground, to one day be understood and be accepted.

However, throigh this struggle, as always, there's people taking things to extreme ends. This is how people start trashing the rights of others and imposing not their own rights, but their attitude, and often on people who have nothing to do with the matter that bothers them at all. It is actually quite interesting how this is something observed often with parents, though the "priority of children" is accepted automatically in society. It's annoying when parents impose their children on perfect strangers at improper places, such as taking babies to movies rated PG-13 and over, and letting the child scream and cry while doing nothing to silence it. (I had one case of that, where an irresponsible mother took her child to the movies - it was Prince of Persia - and had the baby cry from the top of its lungs almost for the whole screening.) Parents taking unruly children to elegant restaurants where even the music is soft and muted so that people can talk, and where nobody expects children topping over theis wine glasses or pulling off their purses from the chairs and spill the contents on the floor. Parents often even impose their nosy children on their parents, and claim that the neighbours should be the ones adjusting to the children and silently enduring the noise and mischief onslaught. Endure loud music, repetitive videogame sounds, baseball drabbling sounds, broken windows, fences to be fixed because they've been jumped over so much to retrieve escaping balls and other toys, garbage and all sorts of food thrown on their yards because the children think it's okay to trash the neighbours' homes as long as Mom don't have to pick it up...

With the case of children, personally I don't see why anyone should endure anything other than what their own children or the children they voluntarily agree to take care of do. And to the stupid defense reply of "we've all been children", my automatic rebuke is "and this children will become an adult, so teach it now to behave". Couldn't this be the problem with our current society? That we teach our children that the rest of the world has to endure them, instead of teaching them from early age that they are part of a large society and as such it's important they cooperate with it and behave in a harmonious, civilized, polite manner?

Well, this has overflown to those who choose to care for others who are not children, and also end up imposing them. I'm thinking particularly about the pet owners. Just like parents who refuse to understand that children are not allowed everywhere, so think they are entitled to take their pets everywhere they go, regardless if it's a pet-friendly place or not. Regulations are much more strict for pets than for animals, yet some believe that they can carry on and take their chihuahua dogs, or their unruly whatevers (not all chihuahua's are unruly, and I'm specifically meaning whatever race of type of animal that has a restless, loud and unruly nature) to public transports, restaurants, hospitals or any other places where a blind-guiding dog could go.

As with children, just because someone or something is important to you, it doesn't mean it must become important to others, or that you can impose them on others. There's a difference between fighting to make it socially understandable and acceptable that you care for someone or something other than a child, with as much dedication as it would be expected with a child, and another thing is to disregard what's important to others and impose them your own value system.

I don't get it, why is it that there's always some broken jackass who thinks that if they have been hurt or harmed or discriminated in some way, they are entitled to reverse that situation and apply the same ill treatment on others? If people don't understand how important your pet is for you, then you'll make sure to make them uncomfortable rubbing your pet under their noses. Society has discriminated you because you are gay, then you mistreat strainght people and discriminate them in any way you can. Society has discriminated you because you are a woman, so now you hate men and claim they are the ultimate evil and the most stupid and under developed of creatures. Really, if we have been mistreated, shouldn't we learn from the experience how bad it is, what ill feelings it creates, what sort of resistence it breeds, and avoid it? What's the point of giving hurt back for hurt?

Imposing, reverse discrimination... these are all things that make important battles lose their meaning, and milestone conquests lose their importance. It's best for all of us, to understand that we are all different, to tolerate each other and make sure to respect everybody's bondaries.