Insecurity

Taken from God-knows-where in Google.
Cathy Thorne

What makes people insecure? You may meet the most wonderful, pretty people you can imagine, maybe people you think they have everything solved, and they are still insecure. Some insecure people can be easily spotted, almost as if they were giving out a particular smell of fear that precedes them everywhere they go. Others hide their insecurity better, though their façade cracks nontheless, and their fears and inadecuacies come to plain sight. Some believe that this insecurity is cute or attractive, or see their insecurity as "humbleness", and thus delude themselves thinking about it as a virtue, rather than a flaw they should work on correcting.

At the same time, insecure people are wanted by many and all of them for the wrong reasons. Publicity companies love insecure people because they are the easiest to convince to buy something they don't really need. Bullies like insecure people because they make the best victims. Abusive people love to have insecure people as their sentimental partners, because they can hurt them all they want, and the insecure people won't escape them. Insecure people are the easiest people to manipulate, which is why they often found themselves surrounded by abusive bosses or coworkers, as well as disrespectful sentimental partners and abusive "friends". They might even get into financial troubles or be often in a hard spot for buying things they don't need, only to fill a void due to their lack of confidence.

You can't help but wonder, are they happy like that? Why don't they do something to stop the situation? Yes, there are cases that are hard to manage, and often you don't have to be insecure to be subject to mistreat and abuse - see the cases of mobbing, which is usually based on the insecurity of the attacker and the distinctive sense they have that they are in a position of power that allows them to mistreat the people they perceive as a menace -, but insecure people also display behavior that hurts them, and only them. For instance, why some women have the need to look menacing or hold their boyfriends/husbands harder when a younger, prettier, sexier woman walks by? Why do they start a fight if their men look after the scantly dressed woman? It's not like the man and the woman passing by will in that instant get into a relationship, marry and live happily ever after. After all, how many cases do you know about two perfect strangers become lovers just because they saw each other on the street?

Taken from somewhere in Facebook. 

Yes, there are people who cheat at any given chance and disrespect their partners, minimize them and seek to make them feel miserable, but how much of that depends on the insecure person that let them? It's not a solution to chase away the "potential threat" or to start fights over a wondering eye or a lipstick mark on a shirt. Isn't it much easier to tell the person that such a behavior doesn't suit your concept of "relationship" thus things should be terminated? Yes, yes, the pleading and the "it won't happen again" may appear, and here's the moment to decide if you trust the person, if some transgressions deserve a second chance, and whether you are willing to continue with someone who has done the things that have been done.

If a boss mistreats you and you confront them, and tell them that you are quitting, or moving to another department, and the boss comes around saying they are sorry, they didn't meant to, they weren't aware of it... can you really trust them to change?

Insecurity is terrible, it may make you give second and third and hundredth chances to people and situations that don't deserve it, in an attempt to give themselves that same chance. What can we do to help people who are insecure? What can we do to defeat insecurity?

I only have one advise: courage. It's okay to be hurt, it's okay to fear and feel loss, as long as you are willing to stand up again and continue with your life. Remember that only you can help yourself, and if you don't do it, no matter what others do, it won't work.