Surprise Yourself

I've been posting everyday for the last three and a half months, and believe me, finding a topic hasn't been easy all the time. Actually, nearly never has it been easy. Sometimes good ideas come when I can't write them down, and the forget about them - and bitterly whine for a couple of hours due to that - and other times I do jot them down, I do have them pasted in my handy agenda in colorful post-its, but I don't really feel like writing about those topics either. Then after being down and recovering little by little (I'm getting there, getting there, maybe 6 degrees over dog, which is pretty good), I wasn't gonna write again on the matter. I thought about writing a post on taking notes but as I did a search on the net, it happens that I've posted a lot of pictures on the subject, and a lot of posts as well. Ooooops. Sorry, but I really like everything that has to do with writing, in case the "Book of Records" isn't a clear indication to it. But then I found this awesome picture on the net and stared lovingly at it. Man, don't you love the way handwritten pages look? The tight lines, the colors... it's so inviting! Don't you feel tempted to magnify the picture all you can so you can read the text? ^_^ Oh come on! I know I'm not the only weirdo in here!

Anyway, this wasn't going to cut it, or at least not now. I checked on what other bloggers have written, what my friends said on the net, the newspapers... something to spark the inspiration, but soon I was only interested in checking out pictures of the current Korean series I'm watching ("Shilla Kingdom" or "Queen Seondeok", depending on the translation you have) and my favorite characters: Lady Mishil and Bi Dam.

I really like Mishil's character, even if she's the ultimate Evil of the series, because she goes for what she wants, and always keeps her cool. Her means might be objectable, but I like how she does take time to think and always remains serene... or almost always. Thinking about that and what has been happening, suddenly I remembered what happened today to me. I managed to wake up early, and the day was pretty, so I put on my jogging clothes and went out. I wanted very much to go out and walk around the Margit Island to thing and find peace, to overlook the situation and find a solution, strenght and recover my hopes and my spirit. It was quite pleasant outside, and so as I started jogging, I let my thoughts fly, enjoying the rhythm of the run, the soft air that wasn't burning my nose, throat and lungs with cold. I normally run the same distance and have decided not to try too hard to run more if I don't feel like it. I was pretty much jogging for four corners (maybe some 400 mts), and it had been a bit hard more often than not to keep my breath. However today I kept on running, thinking "I won't set myself a goal, reach this or that lamppost, I'll just run until I feel like stopping", and I did just that. I thought I would run a couple of meters more, but suddenly I found myself running about 200 to 300 meters more! I've got much, much farther than I thought I would or I could by now!

As I finally slowed down, I thought to myself that inspite of all my self confidence, I maybe wasn't giving myself all the credit I actually deserve. Maybe I am stronger than I think, maybe I can do more than I think, maybe if I stop setting markers and just let myself go free and flow as hard and as much as I can, I could surprise myself with what I can accomplish.

Sometimes we are too wrapped in our circumstances, our expectations, to actually realize what we ourselves can do. I ran, and I found the Mishil in me. You know what? I can do it, and even if I don't, then what? You know something, I'm in a win-win situation, I've my own Lady Mishil inside, and I'll let myself surprise me.