Blessed Samhain!

It's that time of the year, the best time of the year! The third and final harvest has arrived and we reap the final results of our work. The days have gone colder, shorter, and the nights are darker. A cycle reached it's end, but that doesn't mean that life has ended, but that a new cycle is about to begin.

There are two things I'd like to bring forward on this Samhain night: the clearing and cleaning of the field, and the saving.

On one side there's the Final Harvest. The cycle brings us three harvests through which we feast and celebrate the fruits of our efforts, but in this last harvest, as we gather up the remaining of our results, we thing also about the future. You see, your work, your efforts and what you do shouldn't all be about satisfying your immediate needs, but also about making sure you can save for leaner times, or for times of rest.  With this last harvest, you think now about the things you'll preserve for the future, and draft up plans to make your stock last until the next harvest. By managing your results, you make sure you are provided when there's no work to be done, but also while you do your job and this hasn't yielded results yet.

This idea is pretty much lost nowadays, when everything is about instant gratification and getting things at once to use them up at once.

This harvest and the idea of making it last apply to transparent things such as one's work and salary or gains, but also at other things such as studies, relationships, projects, health and so on. These are all "things" we work for, into which we have to put a considerable effort to get results later on, but these are also things that have different ways to be conserved through time. Some things are managed through time by making a rational use of them, while others are managed through a more extensive, regular use or refreshing. Improving your reading skills, for instance, takes time and effort, and once you achieve your goal, in order to keep it and manage it, you need to practice your skills with certain regularity.

At Samhain we can take this thought and meditate about it, about the goals we achieve, our results, our harvests and what we do to preserve them, to stretch them through time.

At the same time, as the final harvest is gathered, the fields are cleared out, cleaned for the winter and left blank to receive the next project, the next year. This is something we don't think much about, but as a cycle ends, we already start the preparations for the next one, and how many of us clear out to start the next project with the right foot? Relationships started on the ashes of the last one, where we bring in the vices of a relationship that's gone and measure our new one according to it. And be these relationships of any type! Studies, where we start them with a preconceived idea of it going to be hard or boring, so with a job were we already assume that the boss is out to exploit us, or a relationship we start thinking that "every man/woman is the same".

Samhain is about clearing off the table, taking all off, all out and retire to meditate, give time to yourself to go over the past cycle, but at the same time leave nothing on your page, on the table, on your field that might fester and spoil the canvas for the new cycle. It's not the Spring cleaning, but it is the time where you save, you stock up for the winter and you take everything off your workspace so that nothing gets in the way of the next big project.

Life Flows

This is a really difficult post to get through. I don't have any particular topic in head, so I would write something from whatever I'm thinking or doing, but as I do that I suddenly remember "oh, that isn't something I shouldn't be putting out there". Oh bugger. Anyway, I still want and need to write because writing lets you let out the fumes of the negativity. I guess I could use some yoga, but yoga is getting pushed out again due to a conference I'm looking forward to. Then I can remember that time is fluid and things eventually flow out of your life.

I'm happy and proud to let you know that I'm being rather active in my intent to let go of a toxic relationship in a kinder, softer way, and it's working like a charm!

You see, bumping into unpleasantries is part of life and that's ok. You don't have to like it - though more people than you's imagine, like unpleasantries and the chance they gave them to complain - but when they roll before you, you have to tackle them one way or another. Take them slowly and carefully, or get them fast and at once to get over with them, but face them, work them and then watch them flow out of your life.

There are times when we have problems letting go of things, but there are also times when you can't wait for things to get out of your life. For all of them there's a moment to leave the building. ^_^

Getting There or Getting First

One of the worse things I can think of, is the cometition against others or against ourselves to be first. Take morning drivers, who whoom past you in their cars doing all sorts to really stupid stunts rushing to wherever they go, as if you'd get a price for making a 30 minute ride in 5 minutes. Others push this envelope with senseless life markers such as "make your first million before you're 30" or "become the youngest PhD", "become the youngest CEO of the company", the first in the block building a bigger house, the first of the family in getting a brand new car, the first among your friends in getting married or having kids, and so on.

This drive to kind of be the first or get it at the first attempt folds over on us, as we demand irrational levels of success and perfection from us. You make a plan and you expect it - against any rational reasoning - to work out either perfectly or by some miraculous intervention, far better than expected. Often our expectations are as irrational as if we would have never drawn in our lives, we don't know the first thing about drawing and right then we expect that by putting pencil to paper we can out do the most exceptional and talented artists in the world. This sort of attitude is a great way to put us in the way of deception, because for someone who hasn't made something in... ever, getting it perfect the first time is nearly impossible.

It's wonderful to have dreams and have plans for whatever. It's awesome to do thing making sure you are doing your best, but that doesn't mean that your best must be "dream factory" perfect. It means that you must be aware of your limitations, open your eyes real wide and look at what you do, pay close attention to the mistakes you make and learn from them. Then fail or not, review your steps, and learn both from your success as well as from your mistakes. If you fail at first, don't get discouraged! Stop, look closely at what you did wrong, figure out a way to correct it, and go at it again.

You don't have to be first, and you don't have to be perfect, and you know something? when you are following a dream you have plenty of room to miss and try again, so use them all!

Also, remember the Law of the Street: you might rush, you might make dangerous moves and stupid stunts, and none of those would get you to your destination faster or better, because we all get caught in the same red lights and the same traffic jams. I know, I'm a slowpoke driver, and I have seen the Fast & Furious that rushed ahead of me before a truck, get stuck and shamefully left behind by my grandpa-style driving. Rushing can get your neck broken, while careful, calm advancing gets you there much safer, much happier and... alive.

Weekend of Art

It's a really sunny weekend, with a gentle breeze and nice Decemberish kind of feel to it. I mean "tropical December", which is what would be something like March-April in Europe, in those cases when the weather behaves properly and you get that nice little sunny day that feels good on the skin, but you still put on a light sweater and pack an umbrella. Actually on Friday someone commented somewhere - could be on Twitter for all I remember - that the day was very Christmas-like. This is our winter season, the deepest of our winter and it should be pouring like hell, and though we have had some of that too, it does actually look like we are getting ready to transition from rainy season to dry season.

Though I love rain, this weather is fantastic right now for doing laudry - which I am doing now! - but also for goint out to the backyard and do some art with my oldest nephew. We carved a pumpkin yesterday - okay, I carved it, and gutted it because he declared that he wouldn't go anywhere near that "yucky thing" we pulled out of the pumpkin - which ended up real nice - if I may say so. For today morning, however, we had to take it out to the backyard and hose it down because it was covered in ants. That didn't happen last Halloween. The pumpkin will now stay outside where any ant attack won't bother us inside the house, and where any pumpkin catching on fire wouldn't bother us either. At least not me. Yes, this pumpkin looks great, nice and plum, but it's a bit too low, so the candle in it soon starts burning the top of it. I still have one other pumpkin for carving, and since that one doesn't have a nice sticking out chunk, I might leave it with an open top (top-less? ^_^) so that it can be lighted up without risking catching on fire.

So, as the freshly hosed pumpkin was out in the nice Decemberish sun drying up, my nephew and I decided to go outside and do some art. So we opened the Box of Art and fished out water colors, trays for mixing colors, brushes and started doing some magic. He was really having fun with the mixing, enjoying how putting together two colors did yield a third one as if by magic. Making orange, purple, brown, pink...it was chromatic alchemy for him. We ripped out two pages from a new sketching pad - my bigger than the one we had been using so far, and after having fun discovering colors, we sat down creating something fun.

I was planning on making a small bag for myself, to replace the small purple Hello Kitty bag I left in Hungary - it's a small, simple tote bag I used for carrying things around like lunch and such - but haven't got to it yet. It's not supposed to be a difficult project - and come on, I've already made once a yoga mat bag! - but haven't started my little tote just yet. I haven't gotten any further with my letters, though I have already balled up several pages as none of my startings really please me. Ah mind! Maybe I should just take a moment in the moonlight to meditate, clear my head out, art up a little, maybe go back to my knitting, and then I'll be ready to pick up on things and roll with them.

Weekends, they can be wonderful!

Why Would Anyone Want to be a Millionaire?

I won't develop this line of thought much, for it could go on and on without end, and I rather want to simply put the thought in your head. First of all, can you remember the moment when you were told that being a millionaire was the best thing that could happen to you? Most likely - like for the most of us - the idea came "by itself" as people around you told you things like "if I had a lot of money I would...". But has this created in us a false image?

Our world is full of mixed messages. On one end we are told that money solves our problems and makes our dreams come true. Certainly "if you were millionaire" you would have no worries, didn't have to work, wouldn't need to wake up early, could spend all day doing what you want, would have all you want... On the other hand we are told that "money isn't happiness" and more often than not we find people playing "cool" saying stuff like "there's people so poor, all they have is money". So what's the truth?

I believe that money doesn't solve your problems, if your problem is being unhappy with yourself, or generally unsatisfied with life. Money can solve material problems, like getting you food, shelter, access to different services, and purchase different goods. Do you need to be millionaire for that? No, all you need is to get an income and a plan.

We often imagine being millionaire to be a life of no responsabilities, as we imagine not having to count after the money we spend, and not minding the waste we create in the way, by for instance wearing clothes only once or having a different car for each day of the year. Now, is that really being happy? But above all, is that what we really want for our lives?

In my opinion - and that's the core of an economical theory I'm mulling over for years now - you don't need to be millionaire to make your dreams come true. First, what are really your dreams? Do those dreams really make you happy? Do you want to travel around the whole world? Good! Do you need to be millionaire to do so, or do you need a good plan?

If you have a dream, don't stash it away for "when you'll become a millionaire", but if you really want to reach it, start working for it, think of ways in which you can achieve it. Beinga millionaire usually isn't a dream, and if it is, that's usually an empty dream. No, being a millionaire usually is like mean to reach something, and more often than not is an overreaching mean, kind of like wanting to go from your city to the next one with a spacial rocket. Think about it, it's not money you need first and foremost, but just a plan. :-)

Study in Pink - A Sherlock Mistake

Thanks to a friend of mine, I've been watching the BBC series Sherlock, created by Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss and played by Benedict Cumberbatch (as Sherlock) and Martin Freeman (as Dr. Watson). You can't see this series here in the channels we've access to through public or paid TV, so the way you access to them is by the way of Internet, and those people who know were to look for the series. I'm not one of them, but I'm being provided with the episodes.

In the begining the series can throw you off a little bit because we are talking here about a Sherlock Holmes that's played in modern times, with a sort of fixation for texting, and a Dr. Watson who served in Afganistan. You quickly get the hang of it, so it doesn't really bother you. Something I appreciate terribly about the show is the absolute naturality with which homosexuality is treated. The mention of it in absolutely natural terms is refreshing, and thus helps the world break down the remaining reserves and prejudices some still have about it. It had been done before and it has worked, up to the point where nobody thinks twice when the idea is proposed that a woman might be the Big Boss (such as M in James Bond, just to show an example). One can only hope that after the wall of reserve and discrimination against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transexual people is destroyed, the world won't stop and we would see a more open approach towards people of other religions, other countries and etnicities.

In the first episode, or pilot of the series, Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go investigating a series of suspicious suicides - four in total - that clearly bear the mark of a serial killer. The fourth "suicide" is the one to which Scotland Yard calls Holmes and from where the case unrolls. It features a woman with a serious case of pink addiction. The excesive amount of pink drives Dr. Watson to name the case "Study in Pink" in his blog. Yes, Dr. Watson is a blogger. Of course, you can read his blog in real life.

Anyway, there's a woman in some abandoned looking house, laying on the floor, dressed in pink, like she's some kind of Legally Blonde or something. Looking around a little and deducing lots of stuff about her from her tacky clothes and tacky jewelry - clunky gold stuff, the type that looks like it was designed from some imbecile who thinks that the more the better -  from her being from Cadiff, to she being a serial cheater and a smart woman and that the most important thing is missing: her suitcase. How come? There's mud behind her left leg, spattered mud, which would only get there if you're pulling a suitcase behind you. That suitcase is important because most likely her phone is in it, and no, she wouldn't leave it home because she being a serial cheater, and smart, would most likely make sure her phone is always on her.

Have you pulled a suitcase behind you? I have, but never through mud, so I can't tell you if the spatter on the legs is created, though yes, if the suitcase gets dirty and you roll it in your leg - as I do it all the time - or you keep it from tilting over, by kicking it in place by kicking back with your leg. However, as this went on I felt that something wasn't right. In the show it was right, it was awesome, it was brilliant, and once the pink suitcase was found answers came forward and things got solved really nice. And yes, all that was cool, but still, something was off. So what happened?

Well, though indeed the pink lady had a suitcase, it was really odd that such a girly, pinky, high heel, dress, lipstick and nail polish woman wouldn't have a purse. I guess there weren't women involved in the writing of the script, so I guess this just slipped, but I must say that this was a biggie.

Basically you can't hardly find a woman anywhere not carrying a purse or a clutck of some sort. Men can go around packing everything you need in your pockets, but women can't do this so easily for two simple reasons: we tend to carry far more stuff than men, and women's clothes are usually designed to cling tighter to the body, so there's less room for pockets, and sticking things in those pockets that are put on our clothes. So, deconstructing this a little bit, let's look into what women carry around with them.

Most women carry with themselves at least four basic things: their keys, their wallet, their phone and a cosmetics' bag that may or may not include any of the following: tampons and or sanitary pads, basic make up, hand cream, some sort of disinfecting gel or spray and pills or any other sort of medication. The concept of basic make up can also be opened, but that depends on what each woman considers necesary, and it can go from a chapstick and a mascara to a kit that includes everything you'd need to appear on TV. Actually it's interesting to check on the make up women carry, because that usually gives you a glimpse of the features they love more of themselves, and how they perceive them.

Now, men usually carry their keys, wallet and phone. These can be distributed in two pockets. Men's clothes are more roomy, baggy than that of women, and have much more pockets. As a matter of fact, much of the clothes designed for women have no pockets or the pockets they have are decorative. Others do have pockets but either are small and can't hold anything bigger than a key or some spare change, or the clothes themselves are so tight that whatever you put on your pockets bulk up and show through.  So, yes, purses are needed.

Now, when you are traveling, and staying somewhere, there's even more need of a purse or a bag of some sort. If you go to a long distance bus terminal, a train station or an airport you'll most likely see every woman carrying a purse or a bag, in addition to their hand suitcase. They may not have a suitcase, but they'll certainly have a purse or a bag. Why is that? Well, because when you travel there are things you'll need to keep at hand - you know, the things men keep in their pockets. Wallet - and if you pay close attention, women's wallets are usually larger or bulkier than those of men, basically because women won't fit them in their pockets -, traveling documents - at least the ticket -, phone, keys and our little bag of fix-it (cosmetics), all those need to be at hand, and the way to keep them at hand is by keeping them in your bag. Just think logically for a moment: you are carrying a suitcase that's rather big, that usually opens with a big zipper or some other mechanism that would require you to basically open it whole and leave it's contents for anyone to see, spreading a top that's just as large and wide as the suitcase itself, where your underwear is rolling around around with other private stuff... and you'll do that to fish out your wallet to pay the taxi fare? Do that to answer your phone? In the middle of a bus or a train or a plane? Maybe even going through having your suitcase pulled down from the overhead compartment? And then put it back? Really?

Think of your own habits. You are going to another city to spend a day with a friend, or just for some mini-vacations. You might just throw a pair of undies and a shirt in the bottom of your backpack or bag along with a tooth brush and a deodorant and be done, but if you are taking a suitcase - like pink lady - then were are you going to put your wallet, your tickets, your phone? Where do you keep your bubble gum or snacks? Where's your handkerchief? Before you make a case about these being in the coat pockets, let me remind you of the size of pockets in women's clothes again, ot the lack of them, and then direct you to the picture to the left. Does that look to you like the kind of coat that's not snug and would fit all you need at hand during travel?

Yes, I have a trench coat which I love, and it has fabulous big pockets, and I stick my keys in them sometimes, but not my wallet or my phone for two simple reasons: 1. I don't want them to be stolen, and 2. their weight would ruin the lines of the coat. A woman wearing so much pink, with polished nails and matching lipstick, wearing heels and a dress that short at that age is constantly trying to get attention, trying to appear feminine, she wouldn't ruin the flow of her clothes by sticking bulky things in her pockets, so Mr. Holmes, where's the victim's purse?

Spa Day

Yesterday I went to L'Occitane to have a promotional facial treatment done. This is part of the company's marketing plan, where they put up a list of clients through a group called "Provence Club", through which they can identify their customers and slowly gather information about how much they spend on products, what do they like the most, which lines do they subscribe to and so on. A friend of mine and I subscribed the day of her birthday, though for some reason it didn't work or something, for we were supposed to get a welcome kit. It got solved later on when we subscribed again through their facebook profile, and got an e-mail with which we could go to one of the stores and get our kit.

Though my friend got to know L'Occitane because she got a facial treatment and part of the products of the treatment, she kind of dropped out of it, though not admitedly. I guess not everybody is used to being part of shopping clubs and selected customers. That's not my case though, as I've been the type that spends what needs to be spent in order to ensure comfort and happiness - not like happiness could be bought, but discomfort and self-pitying can often be countered with a little something from you to you - and as that shows, I usually end up with a wallet full of Frequent Client and VIP Client cards.

To collect my kit I didn't go to my usual and favorite store, but to another closer to home. As result I've developped quite a good relationship with the salesgirls from there - there's a really BEAUTIFUL one I know my friends Jules and Dankenzon would POSITIVELY droll over. I see if I can get a picture of her and publish it as a Public Service ^_^. Everything for my guys! - and so they were quick to call me and let me know that they would be having these promotional facial treatments. (You can usually get a facial treatment after having purchased something at the store, but from time to time, when they are promoting a new product they also organize free facial treatments as a way to introduce the product or the new line to you.) The girls were delightful, though I must admit that I like the other store better, as they have an actual spa cabin, which is delicious and very relaxing. The facialist didn't really appeal to me, as she was evidently diminishing the salesgirls, who were just dolls - and not just physically speaking - and were all around me like pretty little fairies making sure I felt just perfect in their not-so-perfect spa spot.

Given that my friend got the Immortelle treatment, I thought I would get that one too. It is the most expensive of all treatments too, so I was eager to try it out, but to my surprise I was rather treated with Angelica. I did got a facial mask with Immortelle - basically because there's no facial masks of Angelica. When I asked why they used Angelica on my rather than Immortelle, the facialist told me that my complexion doesn't need yet the anti-aging line. The mask was used because I have some sun-damage (inspite of my color), and Immortelle could even out the spots, but other than that my skin was still rather elastic and youthful. This made me smug. ^_^ I guess I have taken better care of myself, so that my age reflects positively on my skin, rather than eating away my features and packing on years I don't have.

This friend I told you about is a bit younger than me, yet the difference between the two of us is there. She can look youthful too, but normally she doesn't. Immortelle or not, Angelica or not, this made me think about the responsability we have about even the smalest thing of our lives. It's not a matter of the products you pack on your face in the morning and at night, or the things you eat, but also a matter of what you do with your minutes, with your day, how you live. Creams and facials can't hold back the damage you do with your frowning, with the things you do to make sure you are constantly surrounded by trouble and concern.

The very same applies to happiness. Self help books and seminars, yoga classes and special diets aimed to  make you happier and more satisfied with yourself will do nothing if you are not willing to seize the happiness that crosses your path. Sometimes all you need is simply a change of attitude. Give it a try. It won't kill you.

Rainy Mornings

I woke up to the sound of rain washing down the roofs, soaking the soil at the yard, which hasn't have a chance to dry up for weeks. "Water saturated soils". Mornings are hard, particularly when it's still dark outside and you have to get out of the bed and get going, but as rain drummed iddly on the roofs with perfect rhythm, I stayed away enjoying the percussion of water. The air was chilli and it had a soft touch to it, gentle and permeating matter. It felt more alive, fuller of Spirit and energy than ever before. Concrete and clay tile were all the more beautiful drenched in water, clad in irregular shiny layers that tremble to the slightest breeze. Shivers.

Sookie was all fresh and cold today, more beautiful, dare I say. Everything, the little streets I drove on, the city as it stretched before me, wet, waking, shivering. How can anyone dislike rainy mornings? How can anyone do anything but love them? No harsh lights, no heat creeping up on you. A silence branded by a sort of white noise, the song of nature through non-born voices. Everything wrapped in the scents of water. Isn't that the most delicious thing in the world? Or maybe it's just because some of us live with a Water Spirit inside.

Are Long Posts Fun?

I write quite a lot, I'm aware of that. I don't really consider myself a typical "long letter" type of penpal, but I like writing. However often long, condensed, letter-dense posts are simply annoying. One would thing that it doesn't make sense when you like reading - many books, after all, aren't full of pictures, nor have short chapters or segmentations between chapters to help the attention deficient reader keep up with the story - BUT lets face it, letters and posts aren't often just as books.  Yes, it depends on what was written. Two pages, or 80 lines depicting in painful detail your blurry ideas about why peas are better than beans are not enticing. 200 densely written pages following the story of a vicious murderer that manages to decapitate people in a populated city while a brilliant detective is hot on their tracks... that's not nearly enough.

Anyway, this idea came to me just because I'm on this site, and I receive posts by e-mail for different forums, and there's this user who got a posting rush and has send us all ten long posts about sex and tantric sex. Yes, it would normally be very interesting, but... not. Fuck, how do you manage to kill sex?

So, yes, after that I've been brought to reconsider my posting habits, and really, REALLY make an effort to trim them. Not an easy task when your head is full of plotbunnies, or postbunnies or... just bunnies. Do you know what plotbunnies are? It's a word I learned in my fanfic writing days. Those are the ideas for a story that you have rolling around your head, but that haven't evolved into a full story. I have a couple of that... a couple A LOT of those, and some are.... well, they are not plotbunnies, but gara be like plot-horses or plot-dragons. Regarding stories, not posts. Wait, I have post plotbunnies too... Yes, well, anyway. Where was I and where was I going? Yeah, right, so it's not so easy to trim posts when you have a lot of ideas and things to say rolling around in your head. Has that happen to you too or am I the only person with a messy head and undisciplined thoughts?

Anyway, I wanted to tell you all a little piece of news: it's very, very likely that my thesis mate and I will be published. Yay! ^_^ I finally had a meeting yesterday with someone from the faculty, who reviewed our thesis, since we expressed our desire to find a way to publish it either as a book or as an article, and they told me that our work was actually rather good, that needed trimming some segments, but that our approach was actually refreshing and new within the given topic, and it would be great to publish it as an article. They quickly give us suggestions about which parts of the thesis use to construct the 15 page article (out of 195), and pressed on the matter that we should keep our focus where we had it: on the social part.

You see, my mate and I made our thesis about the artisanal fishermen of a given island. We were supposed to do a traditional economical analysis and propose a way to improve their activity, but once we arrived at the island we realized that all of that would have been a bunch of crap. The economical situation of the fishermen is tied tightly to their social circumstances, thus throwing at them all sort of market solutions won't work, as it hasn't been working for 20 years or so. Meanwhile they are vulnerable, exposed to abuse, and the sealife is in inminent danger, which only deepens their problems. As result, my mate and I changed our initial position and leaned heavier on the social side of the equation, explaining as clearly as possible that no model or mathematical proposal, no economical solution would turn this region into a burgeoning hub of commerce, but that inherent social issues had to be addressed first.

It's interesting to think that what's going on here is a miniature of what goes on around the world, and what can be seen in Europe. The "solutions" proposed are like trying to push a cart down a road that no longer exists, when the wheels of the cart have already broken off. You can't pretend a cart to rush smoothly as if it were racing on a highway when you are pushing it down a cliff. Yes it's going to rush in the short term, and it's going to rush downwards, free falling. Most of you are not interested by this topic, I assume so I'll close it by saying this: You know what pisses me off the most about the whole situation? Both European and the fishermen's? That there's this bunch of economists and politicians with big titles, probably prizes and publications too, and they are all so fucking blind about the reality that they think people in real life are no different than their paper modeling, and so they just throw in all sorts of "solutions" without actually thinking them over, almost as if expecting either to buy time to get their capital somewhere safe, or simply see if it works. It's not even like putting a band aid on a gashing wound, it's like having a gashing wound and putting stones on it.

Yeah, well, the important is that we might get published, that the first publications where my name appears won't be as a writer, a work of fiction, but as a scientist. ^_^ That's cool.

Those Mondays and Those Mondays

Oh goodness, it's Monday again. And I'm supposed to love Mondays. And I do, I really do. Mondays are great, are exciting, are fabulous. TV channels get back to the normal programming instead of the crappy "family programing" they torture us with on the weekends, and the movie theatres also get back to a more normal schedule. Parking lots at malls are less crowded, and you are less prone to walk into Sunday drivers and obnoxious multi-child families dragging their loathsome progenie around, imposing their absolute lack of manners and education on society. Monday is the day when adulthood rules again over the world, when we can go back to "Margin Call" after having lived "Frankenweenie". Monday is the day when the Avengers are again all about action, and --- nevermind, instead of "don't forget to eat your veggies, Jimmy!".

This Monday, however, came a bit *scrunches face*... you know what I mean. And it wasn't because it was Monday, but what it entailed, what laid ahead. I mean, there  was an iPodWitch episode on the waiting, and it was fabulous and I loved it, and there are lots of other nice podcasts, and my head is filled with stories - like it happens every October - and there's this unimaginative, bulky thing I must look through, and which is taking me ages because I can't just read without editing, and there's so much editing to do! It could be Friday and I would still cringe at it. 200+ pages of no substance. Should have packed the story I was reading yesterday. That one was good.

Well, let's get this day kickstarted, and we shall see how the rest progresses.

Action and Reaction: The Dynamics of Relationships

People are prone to say things like "all women are alike" and "all men are alike", and similar expressions extending to just about any feature or the human race, creating thus given roles and given expectations that then, when brought into the personal relationship of two or more individuals generates all kinds of gratuitouos conflicts that could have been avoided if these prejudices - for that's what they are - would have been avoided. As it happens, you can only say that this or that group of people are "all like this" when you constantly and consistently behave in a way that brings forth that reaction, or when they are consistently and constantly faced with a type of behavior that provokes that given reaction. Take for instance female drivers. It is a very propagated missconception that women drive poorly. There's no scientific base to it, and actually insurance companies define lower insurance quotes to women than to men, because statistically women are less prone to have meaningful accidents. Anyway, I driver - say a man - is behind a woman driver on the road. Having noticed that the driver ahead of him is a woman, he immediatelly gets grumpy thinking how clumsy and incompetent she is even if she hasn't made a thing different than what any other driver would. At a corner, where they stop and the woman carefully looks around before turning, the man interprets that as she being a coward who doesn't know how to drive, and so starts honking at her. This gets the driving woman upset or nervous, and due to it will try to get away from the other driver either by making a reckless turn - which the male driver will classify as yet another proof of how poorly women drive - or by having her attention compromised and missing chances to pass, which again the male driver would interpret as her being an incompetent driver. Truth this, however, that it doesn't matter how old, young you are, black, white, man or woman, harrassment does chip from your concentration, and push you to behave or act in a way that's not your natural way, but which falls in line with the preconceived idea your harrasser has about you.

Indeed it is often our own behavior what conditions the way others behave around us and about us. A curious thing about this is that, if you behave in a way different than the "norm" - this norm being the preconceptions and prejudices applied to your given group - then the rest of the environment often would move out of their assigned role to complement your behavior. I have no scientific proves about this, but I have my own empiric experience about my own relationships. Admitedly I'm rather "male-ish" in many things I do. That doesn't mean that I'm a tomboy - I could never pull that successfully - but it means that I don't have many of the expected behaviors of a woman/lady, and instead I have many of the tendencies men normally are expected to have. Sure, I shop and I bitch, and when I get mad I can bitch at someone so much that a dent is created on their body where waves of ym angry voice clashes on them, but I don't nag constantly (except on small things about chores), and don't have the usual compulsive controlling, mothering and "when will we get married" behavior most women are expected to have. 

As we are all socially conditioned to expect certain things of all our relationships, what often happens is that one of the parts (this being usually them), starts taking the behavior that's missing from the other side. As result of this way of trying to establish a given balance, they - in my case men - start falling out of the box they are normally filed into. They are no longer all about being lazy and watching the football, with a wondering eye on the street and constantly making numbers about how to cheat and how to make the relationship as informal as possible. Now, it's not about faking it, about pretending that you are not trying at all costs to get married so that guys want to marry you, or at all costs pretending that you don't give a fuck about women spending your money so that your girlfriend stops seeing you like a human ATM or a walking wallet. It's about honestly breaking with our stereotypes, about honestly looking at where we are and what could be triggering in the other part that behavior that we don't like.

As a matter of fact many of these roles assigned to different stages of our life or relationships entail a type of behavior, a type of attitude that's not natural for many of us. Monogamy, for instance, isn't natural for many people. For others isn't even the concept of monogamy, but the bond, thr prohibition that doesn't set natural with them. I'm one of those. Monogamy doesn't bother me in the least until it is demanded or expected. For others the police-behavior, controlling the other and making sure they keep their part of the "deal" isn't natural. So the other one is seeing other people or forgets your anniversary or something of the sort? So what? Or are you going to check all their belongings not because you have suspitions (and if you have suspitions, dude, ASK! That's what questions were invented for!), but so you can see what secrets they are hiding from you?

Friendship is normally one of the free-est kinds of relationship, where people can usually be the way they normally are - though not always. When one of your friends enters a relationship, it often happens that the person breaks off from the group, and maybe not so much because the given relationship is time consuming - say having children or taking care of someone - but because their new relationship demands them a given behavior and they need to "stay in character" in order to perform successfully within it. Complains about people who get married, have kids or get a given type of job being able of only speak about that excluding all other types of concersations, are cases often of "staying in character". Purposeful or not it happens. Curiously, the people who speak the most about it are those who are unhappy, and need to reinforce their character either by inforcing a fake image of happiness, or by reinforcing their position - often portraing themselves as helpless victims - by pushing the negatives.

There are relationships harder to break than others, for instance job relationships. Not everybody would agree with this, but truth is that you often need a lot of nerve to quit a job, specially when you don't have another one ligned up, because we all need to support ourselves, and usually a paying job makes the trick. Well, jobs are relationships that more often than not demand us to alter our behavior and things about ourselves, in ways that might not be natural for us. Often these things are even set in rules. Dress codes or uniforms, hairstyles allowed, types of shoes, personal care, writing styles, ways of speaking, times to get in, leave, eat and so on. These we usually accept, but when it comes to our private life, where we make the rules, why should be fall into patterns and roles that make us feel unsatisfied and deepen misconceptions that only twist and ruin our perception of others?

Try being honest. A relationship with a loved one, a friend, a family member, a lover... these aren't work. These aren't about a payment, but about the person you are with. So try it out, concentrate only of the two (or more) of you, cast away the social rules that do not set with you, and see where that takes you to. Who knows what sort of amazing surprises await for you at the end of your journey.

Arts, Crafts and Wonderful Nephews

Weekend at last! I already missed one of the programs I had planned - a yoga class held outdoors - and the second program of the day also seems to be falling through the cracks. I won't be taking my nephews to my favorite library for some children activities they had prepared. But no biggie as I've been relaxing, and getting the supplies I need for a little project of mine. Shhh! Those are still top secret. You will know when the time is right, and it they come through well.

It things come out right, I'm planning a crafty weekend for myself, with a good dose of fun. I've added a few crafty things to my list of 13 - things I've done in the past and weren't half bad at it - so I want to see how they go now. Maybe I've got bold and confident about my dormant skills after my "smashing success" with crocheting my cloche hat. (Yeah, I haven't added a picture of it finished, right?) As result, I've felt emboldened to try out my hand at some of my old hobbies. One of them is drawing. Yeah, I'm a complete disaster now, but I intend to keep giving it a try, see if I can get at least to the level I used to have, and then maybe try my hand at painting. You worry not. If my paintings are not good, then I won't make our apartment in Budapest ugly with hanging them on the wall. I'm consistent in that: the amateurish crap of others won't disgrace my walls, but neither will my own attempts unless they get to be good.

My inspiration for this renewal of the crafty hobbies comes basically from my eldest nephew. Sharing time with him playing with my scrapbooking supplies, trying to find new artistic uses for different things (he has a thing for corks, so he has been collecting them from the discarded wine bottles we keep in the shed), and then playing with things he normally don't have access to, such as stamps. My rubber stamps are all in Hungary, but there are some foam stamps I kept here, which he has discovered and he loves. I showed him once how to put different color inks on a stamp to get a colorful picture, and since then he has been enjoying trying out new ways to color his stamps.

Since my supplies are running low (and I still have much scrapbooking to do), I've decided to make him an arts&crafts box. There isn't much in it yet, just some plastic, gluey tubes of paint (the squeezing type), some inkpads and foam stamps on blocks, and then added also some painting brushes, water colors and a couple of supplies for water coloring. I want to see if I could take him a bit from the craft-side and towards the art-side. Perhaps I can interest him more in painting and drawing, and if so, I'll ask dad to make him an easel, so we can set him out in the backyard to paint to his heart content, and slowly get him more serious supplies, depending on what interests him more. If he rather leans towards the craft-side, then instead of an easel, we could fill the box with other materials, and maybe even try out other crafts.

The arts&crafts box is currently an old shoebox, but hopefully with time it will evolve to become a chest of wonders. I don't have my own box of wonders yet, but have a new drawing pad, pulled out my jewelry making supplies and readied my sewing box (don't have a basket for my knitting and crochetting supplies). I guess I am getting there too, and all thanks to one fabulous young guy in my life. Aren't nephews just a blessing?

I'm Smug

Today I want to purposefully keep it really, really short. Just because. ^_^ So here we go with my short post and short news. 

First of all I'm smug because I think I'm finally doing it: I'm getting out of my life someone who doesn't add anything positive to it. Yes, sure, maybe I shouldn't be so overjoyed and happy after such a short time, and when the pulling out is so subtle, but I can feel it working, I can feel the threads that tied me to this person snapping. Such a dear person, someone I still love - really, I do - and yet the sadness I expected to come from the departure isn't there. I feel fireworks of freedom inside my chest. Wow.

I'm also smug because some other things have worked well regarding some professional-life related matters that had me somewhat concerned. Some things are still not where I want them to be, but that only means that I have projects going on. There's room to work, to create and to keep myself delightfully occupied!

Things at the office are also fine. Some are more difficult than they used to be, due to the latest management style and a different work philosophy which puts the emphasis on speediness rather than other matters that used to be central, but that's fine as well - I'm getting there. Also, today I've got that feeling that I've got my footage on a given topic. That was also WOW. You know, that feeling where you have the tenis racket in your hand, and whatever they throw your way you are prepared and grinning. Well, my clasp is firm on my racket, and I felt that crystal clear today. I'm back in the game.

It's Friday and it's nice. My only worry is my brother, who got ill and hasn't recovered yet. He promised to fix my car and take it to the technical review, and though I appreciate that and time is running for Sookie to get her tech-sticker, I just can't get my brother to stop worrying about it, and just tell me what she needs, and how to contact the mechanic to get her fixed - off the line, of course - and then get her to take the test. I mean, I guess the last part really requires no skill from me, but if it would, I sure can whine the mechanic into going to the test with me so Sookie takes it and pass it.

That's my only worry. Oh yes, and that I can't decide what should I eat today and where, since I really don't want to eat at Subway, won't go to the Greek-Libanese fast-food joint I know, most of the diners around aren't my cuppa and it looks like it's going to rain soon. Oh hell, I'll just heat up a bowl of oatmeal. ^_^ Flavored oatmeal! Apple and cinnamon, or cinnamon and spice, or maple syrup and brown sugar... Yep, I'll do that. So I'm left with one last worry. Hm, what to do about that? Well, I can call my brother tonight if he hasn't taken Sookie and ask him pretty please to tell me what she needs, promise him to go right away to the spare part supplier and get the exact parts. At least that would get Sookie in the right direction, I hope.

Isn't it wonderful when the world yields before you with solutions? Oh, and look at this! A rather short post! ^_^ Many Blessings to All!!

A Good Day to Stay In Bed

Here goes a piece of information that you don't need in your life, but it's killing me currently: oh happy day, I've got my period. Yupi. Oh joy. It's freaking killing me. The bitch has grown again stronger than painkillers, so this means I'm suffering through half a day of monstruos cramps. I hate them. I hate them to hell. Why couldn't I be born a guy? Why didn't God hit men with this freaking curse too? What is taking menopause so long? Have you heard about PMS? Well, I can't afford it. Pain is so freaking bad with it's coming and going, waving in intensity but never leaving that it doesn't give me a break long enough to be emotional, or cranky or crazy (more than normal). I sure feel like I could slaughter whatever size population right now, and dying wouldn't be a problem for me. I mean, just imagine death: no pain. Doesn't that sounds like bliss?

When nearly paper white with pain (I've gone into that state once), the reaction of men is what I love the most. Since they have no idea what the hell does cramps feel like, usually stay silent, eyes wide and slowly back away with a look of "oh hell, this is going to release the Krakken anytime now!". It's not funny when you get the sympathetic "Honey, I'd take it over from you if I could". Brave words when you can't! But silence is nice. Them being prone to rush to a drugstore for you and maybe even hold a gun to the pharmacist's head to get them to release morphin for us, is nice. No, no guy has ever gotten me morphin or any prescription drug by force, or by any other way. But their readiness to rush and take over chores and make your day much easier. 

What I don't like is the reaction of some women. "Oh, that's nothing!" and "Well, it means you could get pregnant", or "Look at the bright side! You are not pregnant" and "You should be happy. You are not too old yet". What the fuck?? It's my freaking womb hurting, not yours! And who said I want to get pregnant? And I don't need a fucking period to tell me that I'm not pregnant! I'm not a teenager having sex without protection! And what's that "too old" crap? I'm not desperate to remain "in my prime" so that I can either catch a husband or keep the one I have at my side? Oh yes, and please save me that stupid shit of "well, you say NOW that you don't want children, but think of this: while you have your period, you still have a chance to get a child". Oh goodie. Suffering pains are a reminder that I'm not out of the tunnel yet, and morons who can't respect the adult decision of a childfree person use it to preach about having babies.

Okay, yes. MAYBE I'm PMS-ing right now. Then I'm the violent type, the murderous type. Clear out the premises.

And on top of all... CRAPPY tampons!!

Some call it "hormones", but is it hormones? Because I'm honestly reacting to pain. Once the pain subsides (the light of my day), I'm back to normal. And being back to normal is sooo good! When you have the right tampons, otherwise is also a pain in the ass as you spend all day worrying about leaks. Hell, that's like a going back to high school! Who wants that?

Anyway, I'm finishing here for today, as I can see myself starting to babble aimlessly.

Turning Decisions into Actions

After bitching so much about people who whine about something but do nothing about their issues - all inspired by a particular person in my life -, I realized that I was doing the same about this person. Well, I don't want to turn into what I dislike so much, so I took a determination  - the same determination I've taken before and which I'm taking now for the n-th time: It's time to let this person go. It shouldn't be so hard, since I have let go of friends before, but somehow this time it's not working as smoothly as before.

We all agree that making decisions is hard by its own, but once you make your mind and make a decision the second big task you must tackle is getting that decision through. My relationship with this person has become toxic over the years, as she had morphed from a sweet person to a bitter one who often rushes into all types of biased conclusions that more often than not offend others. close minded, and obstinate to the point of wearing off your will and your nerves. There's just so much negativity you can take.

I had been pulling away slowly - the unsuspected retiring being the strategy I had chosen to deal with the situation - going from having my job, my employer, my academics and my economic sector insulted to being lied in my face about things I do know very well. I can let many things roll, but blatantly lying to me about things I know well isn't something I ever forgive. Then how come I kept befriending this person? Good question. I guess I still had strings attached. Sometimes letting go of someone after having them in my life for such a long time. But like the card says, we have arrived to the point where we should realize that the friendship we once had is no longer there. It's not that I hate this person, but we have grown so far apart that nothing holds us together anymore - not even our interest in Pagan Religions (specially because my interest is in religions, and only Hyne knows if there would be anything left when I go on with Islam, Judaism, Buddhism and others) - and negativity isn't really the glue you need to keep people together.

What do you need to get through with a hard decision? Determination, integrity, and sense of self. I must remember that no matter how much I love this person, my interaction with them is no longer a positive one, that I feel drained. It's time to put aside that little tag of "but I'll stay around just in case things turn back to be the way they were". Things won't go back to be the way they were, just like a river doesn't flow backwards. Things have to run their curse, and if we are meant to be together again, then be it, but now our faith is to be separated.

As first steps I have stopped all conversations over the internet. This person nearly never calls me, unless it is to try and get an illegal favor (like checking on my work address book for someone and sent them the number and e-mail. And ten out of ten times my reply is "I don't have access to that information". Not that I expect them to believe me, but I do expect them to get the hint and stop asking for such things), so avoiding the calls is pretty easy. As a second step I already made plans to assist to a Pagan activity with other friends. ^_^ It's going to be an awesome chance to gather information of the pragmatic part of the religion and ask people living the religion. Informal surveying! Field research! Yay!!! Can't wait for it!

Pulling out slowly didn't work, as evidently I'm not deft enough at managing the negativity that pours out of them. So shall I face this person and tell them that I love them but I can't any longer take their attitude - which might result in more bitterness, more negativity, and maybe even "then lets just talk about this and I won't bother you anymore with this and that"-type of talks -, or shall I withdraw like a spy, quick, efficient and silently?

I want to avoid the "I'll change" conversation - though it may never actually happen, judging from this person's rather aggressive behavior - basically because I don't trust on changes made on demand. Sure, one thing is changing your habit of leaving your dirty socks on the kitchen table, or not washing the dishes after eating, or not brushing your teeth - these are small domestic habits that are easy to change without them meaning a core transformation or an important affection in the personality - but when a change would be requested or is proposed upon something that's linked to the personality, to the core of the person, such as attitude, expression of needs, needs and so on, they all imply fixing on a mask to hide issues that remain unsolved underneath. I don't want people to adapt to me, change for me, people must remain true to themselves, and I rather detach from people I don't click with and connect with people I click with.

I'll need strenght for my next step. Wish me luck!

Belated Holiday Post: Discovery of America

The Discovery of America isn't a clean cut, clear matter with a given day everybody agrees on. In Latin America we celebrate it on October 12th, which marks the day Christopher Columbus disembarked on the island of "San Salvador", later on called "La Española" (which has rolled around in the popular imagination as The Hispaniola, the Pirate Bounty Island), which is the island where Dominican Republic and Haiti are located. According to our history lessons back at school, Columbus did a total of four trips to America, which he believed was India, which is why the native people were called "Indians". It wasn't until much, much later that people realized that those "Occidental Indias" weren't India, but a new, freaking continent.

There are a lot of topics we could tackle about the Discovery of America and that's good, so I'll be able to write lots more in years to come (if I don't forget to write in time). However today I want to concentrate on the part of the proyect.

In order to discover America, Christopher Columbus requiered many, many things, some of them obtained by chance, others influenced by third parties, but also many of them - and maybe the most important ones - depended on him and his preparation. He wasn't a person with a higher social preparation or education, but rather a person that had been put to work from an early age. Inspite of it, he concentrated on educating himself, reading, absorbing knowledge. The project to go around the world to reach India came from this readings. It wasn't an idea out in the blue and running on it. The project came as a result of studies, of preparation and careful calculations.

To materialize his dream, Columbus had to do a lot of legwork, since he didn't have the means to get himself a ship and a crew to try out his theory (or hypothesis, depending on how you see it). This wasn't easy and he actually got ignored and rejected more often that anyone would care to count before Queen Isabel of Spain  decided to back up his plan. Things didn't go offhill from here either, as the trip towards America wasn't bump-free, with the crew threatening to mutin against him when after many weeks into the unknown there was no land in sight. Up to the last moment before finding land, he had to fight to keep his project from falling apart. Once the result wa achieved, things went better for him, but most of the fruits of his labor were basically seized by Spain, who had provided the funds, the ships and the crew. In the end Columbus died in poverty, thinking he had reached India.

Lots of people have big dreams, big projects. They want to become singers or actors, want to become recognized artists, create a successful company, change their lives by quitting their jobs and joining a natural, balanced life driven by meditation or religion or their personal ideology. This is all fine, but for many the dream doesn't go past the dream, or it dies out after the first rejection. Dreams are dreams, so if you really want to act upon them, you should give them substance, researching the matter of your dream, learning about what you need to make it happen. If you want to be a singer, start by getting singing lessons and researching about talent agents and companies that could help you get kickstarted.

Preparation however it's only the first step. Then you must believe, you must own your dream, your project and push forward with it. Rejection is disheartening, but remember that you can take one million rejection, that only one acceptance can debunk them all. So don't let the weak defeat you, keep aiming for the strong. From personal experience I know it is hard and I know you can feel like rolling into a ball and not wanting to get up in the morning, but do it, try and remain positive, take a break here and there, fill up your energy and positivis reserves and then charge on again. It might help you think about Thomas Edison, who had to experiment many, many times (like 10 tousand!) before he finally got to make the lightbulb. None fo those many failures disheartened him or took away his drive. He kept on going until he got it. 

The other one would be William Golding, writer of the prize wining novel "Lord of The Flies". He got rejected 80 times. Somewhere I read that he was actually told something like he had no talent or that his novel was unreadable. Well, there you go.

Rejection can't stop you, only you can stop you, so if you fight hard enough, and adapt your project rationally, on the flaws you find in the way, then eventually will get results. Don't prostitute your project to become a market pleasing product that loses it's original intention, but don't be so rigid as to refuse changing things that aren't really working.

So you get to the part where you get your results. Things are nice and lovely... but they may not be what you think they are. Keep your eyes open, keep on fighting because the moment you let go, you may end up getting ran over by your own dream.

Don't be a casualty of your dreams, nor make a victim of your inactivity or lack of muscle. Take a moment to think your dreams over and evaluate what can you do to make them happen.

Long Weekend with Kids

Taking advantage of the long weekend thanks to the moved Discovery of America (it's actually on October 12th), my eldest nephew asked his parents to let him stay with us from yesterday to today. He loves staying with his grandparents, and has been staying with us from time to time since he was little. His behavior has improved greatly since he was a child. He has become a very nice, very gentle little guy.

When my brother and his family came over for lunch yesterday, I used the chance to talk with my sister-in-law about our Halloween plans for the children. It's going to happen on the Sunday before Halloween actually, so we have enough time to enjoy the carving of the pumpkin, and the decorating of chocolate cupcakes with all sorts of Halloween motives. We talked in lenght about the matter, and my eldest nephew overheard us, which got his attention. Since he loves to do art - and has been asking me for several weekends now to do art with him - he was now interested in making Halloween arts, painting haunted houses and ghosts. ^_^ Indeed Halloween is more of a children's holiday than that of adults, but that doesn't mean that we can't enjoy it just as much.

Spending a weekend with children is quite demanding. My nephew is a real angel now, a joy to be with, and the older he gets the more and more I enjoy his company. I can honestly say that he is a fabulous person, smart, interesting and with cultural inclinations, which is lovely in a world as cybernetic, instant and shallow as the one we live in now. Still, though he's perfectly capable of looking after himself, he's not here to be alone, he's here to spend time with us, and that means that we are supposed to spend it with him. And so we do, and no matter how much we enjoy his staying here, spending time with him means that we take time from our other plans. It means also that we should try and match his energy, and people our age are definitivelly not up to match the energy of a healthy, happy, active 7-year old boy. ^_^ Good thing he can be patient with us.

We shall see next time.

(Sorry, I was supposed to write about the Discovery of America holiday, but not right now.)

Decorating for October

Wow, it's nearly the middle of the month (okay, it IS the middle of the Month) and I hadn't made my favorite month of the year, my favorite holiday of the year be properly displayed in my blog. Well, that had to be fixed, and so, today, I just did that. So what do you think? ^_^

No, I won't go on talking about Halloween or Samhain right now and what it means to me. You'll have to wait for that post until the end of the month.

October is also known as the month of Breast Cancer Awareness. I haven't dealt much with that topic basically because I don't know much about it. I did partake in runs - last year, not this year - and was interested in all the information about how to   detect Breast Cancer in its early stages when it still can be treated. This year, how ever, I kinda fell off this wagon.

This year I've been concerned with other matters, namely colors. I'm two months into being back in Costa Rica and my clothes are not nearly enough anymore. I'm thinking about making myself trousers, since I have looked up and down and I can't find any pants in the style I like. I had more luck in this sense in Hungary, but in here it seems that most stores cater only to the sluts. My clothes hunting has been thus concentrate on tops. This is also a tricky question, because not everything available was to my liking. First of all, they can't be synthetic, so all polyester is out of the question. Then it has to be something I can wear at the office, so sadly most of the Hindi clothes are also out of the question (sad, because that's usually my best and most favorite source of clothes). Then it had to be only on the colors I'm lacking currently, which are pink, orange, yellow, violet, purple and ivory. I had red and blue in my list too (yes, blue!), but those got covered. Well, for some reason, when you are looking for a particular color, either all you find isn't in your size, or isn't in the style you want, or there isn't any at all. Yesterday I had the chance - due to a class I had in San Pedro - to go to LOB, a store that I love and adore but haven't visited in a while because it's rather out of my way. They had wonderful clothes in orange, brick orange and mustard yellow - no pink, purple, violet or ivory - and though I loved them, the yellows were a bit too transparent for my liking and clothes were in general too snug, and I don't like snug. So after trying on eight tops - one of which was just fabulous, with just the right hint of sassy on the sleeves, but which made me look like I had no waist at all, and I have - I came out of my favorite store with nothing.

I've checked Naf Naf, MNG (a red and a beige/brown), Zara (green - it was a MUST - and a white/blue), Benetton, Siman, Rosabal, GEF (a red and a blue), LOB, and a myriad of smaller boutiques, and yet nothing. It's totally disheartening. Three malls covered and only six tops! Well, there are still a couple of boutiques to check out, a Sweaters and a Claiso among them, so we shall see how this turns out later on. Wish me luck!