Margit Island

Today was my first day at jogging, and truth to be told, I loved it. ^_^ I woke up early - quite early as today I also planned to go to the church -, put on my snikers, my regular exercise clothes, set my fit bit and went out to jog, and try to run a little. Well, in case you wonder, I did run a little, like some 200 meters.

The day was frankly beautiful, and I was overwhelmed by the sense of security the whole city gave me. Inspite of the buildings, the streets and the modern artifacts, the tramway rails and the traffic lights, this part of the city was soaked in a deep sense of nature. Trees swinging their branches in the wind quite gingerly, with a studied elegance that has grown second nature in them after ages and ages of practicing, birds singing and slowing colors and feathers like I've never seen before. It was a day too beautiful to stay inside, to deny any soul from the graceful touch of nature. Thus, even though I didn't jog much, I had a path planned, through the Florian square up the Árpád bridge to the Margit Island. I didn't have time to go around the island, though eventually my goal is to be able to do the whole route and around the island jogging, I walked with raised tempo to the island.

I'm sure the island is far prettier, and the experience for anyone who loves nature must be blissful, this route I made wasn't without beauty either. It was magical to walk around the Roman findings of the Florian square, and just magical to walk on the Árpád bridge, looking at the sun gleaming from the surface of the Danube. The trees leaning over to the bridge, their high branches close to the walker, showed something amazing. The branches, seemingly naked and colorless, perhaps still wearing the asen colors of winters, were actually full of little buds or tiny wrapped leaves and flowers ready to bloom at any minute. Up close, as they let me touch them, they were so full of life and expectation, like consumed performers part of a great show, waiting for their tempo, their moment to join the choir of colors and life. Not a minute earlier, not a minute later, but there, full of life and promise, waiting for the time of God, the right moment that doesn't fit the schedule of men,  but the schedule of perfection, to bloom in perfect synchrony and make life wonderful.

I walked about 3.53 km, I exercised and was part of this communion with nature for 50 minutes, took about 5000 steps... but above all, as I walked, I prayed, talked to God in his many forms, stripped of religion, just God and I in the frame of the wonders of His creation... and it was wonderful.

God is everywhere, and often His words can be heard stronger, clearer in the depths of your heart, than read from books and words of scholars.

Preparing for My Favorite Holiday

There's still over two week for Halloween - my favorite holiday of the year, even if we don't get it off at the office - and I'm slowly preparing to it. I've already made a few small purchases - two small plastic jack-o-lanterns and two lovely plastic cauldrons filled with candy and plastic spider rings that look so delightfully creepy, you can rest assured I would make people scream at the office by wearing them and letting them know that a huge, fat spider is walking on my hand. ^_^ I also plan to find a way to decorate Sookie, bring the Halloween to her too, though I bet plenty of people think that the dreamcatcher I've pending from the rear view mirror is creepy enough.

I've also spotted a place where I can get my lovely pawns on a medium size pumpkin for carking purposes. This actually happened yesterday, when - for the first time ever - I took the insane idea of taking Sookie out to run a few errands in the city. Yes, a Saturday, right around 11 o'clock, when the city is the bussiest - because there's nothing like Heredia on a Saturday morning-noon - and the traffic is so dense, the whole city transforms into a big, smoggy parking lot. Yet I did it becace it happens to be one of the rainiest, most freakiest days of the year. Rainy season's poster-day, plus some tornado and what-not has brought my beloved rainy mornings and rainy days and all cool and chilly... with the downside of lots of rain, getting wet every step of the way, and your laundry not getting dry all week. It's a bitch. I mean, I ACTUALLY had to iron all of my clothes - including jeans and t-shirts, which I never-EVER iron - to get them to dry.

However I've got an e-mail from my shipping company, that my Colts stuff was finally on the counter (and I had to pay for their services around 50% of what I paid for the stuff itself, which wasn't pleasing me at all), so I drove there. The place is in a particular location at a commercial center that looks onto a really bussy street. Coming out of there was going to be a real test. It seems however, that God was really on my side as I actually got out of there quite fast and easily. I didn't need to wait much for my stuff, and then though the road was packed to capacity and the cars weren't moving at all, and I actually needed to cross the line in front of me to get into the other line (not just melt into the flow), all I had to do was to roll down my window, smile pretty and quite soon a guy stopped and signaled me to go. The priviledge of being a woman. ^_^

From there I had to go to the supermarket to pick up a few things I've written up on a list. Some beverages, bread, paper handkerchiefs (it's flu season) and some cold medicine. Yeah, like that was going to be the only thing I would buy. Not so lucky. I was quickly pulled towards the veggies, because "hey, I shall cook something for next week to take to the office" (and lets not talk about the fact that Monday is a holiday), so I went to the veggies and got myself some mushrooms, zuccini (because it really seems that the only thing I think about when it comes to veggies is zuccini. Really, could someone please, PLEASE give me a veggie cookbook for Christmas so MAYBE I get a hint about how to actually use and incorporate other veggies in my diet?), some potatoes, some apples, chives... and there they were: The Pumpkins. Halloween pumpkins are not all that common here, and actually the first Halloween pumpkin I saw was the one Alix, her husband, her daughter and I carved last year, so finding them there, just waiting was a wonderful revelation. Now I can actually get my own pumpkin and carve it at home! And of course gut it and scrap it and make pumpkin pie from the scrapping!

There were smaller pumpkins too, but I'm not sure I'll be skilled enough to carve those too, though it would be fun to carve a small one and take it to the office. If it could safely house a tiny votive candle inside it would be a success! Not like anyone at the office cares for Halloween, but I'm a total sucker for the holiday! (Like you can't tell that already).

Also, as you can imagine, I also plan to somewhat do a Samhain celebration in the evening. In good theory we'll celebrate it again at Alix' place and this time it will be her time to preside the ceremony. However not much has been said, and it seems to me that there are big chances that she won't even be available for that day. (The first time we gathered for a celebration was for Lughasadh, where I was asked to preside and it came out really whacky.) However I'd like to plan and have my own - shall we call it Solitary - ceremony too, to meditate a little about the meaning of the Third Harvest and what it brings to my life, what it has summoned, what it has given and what's to come. It's important as these days feel indeed final, and I can't stop thinking with a certain, ethereal feel of peace, that this is my last October here.

For this purpose I have yet to read and yet to prepare, though I've already prepared a script for the calling of the corners that sits well with me, as I have paired it with my Christianity, seeing in each element an element related to God. This I wish to try out for the new start.

I must say that I'm feeling quite happy and accomplished. I'm proud at the resilence I proved with the thesis, at the strenght both Mile and I had, the determination, the supporting to get this through and conquer our goal. I feel it as a lesson that teaches us that though things ahead might seem hard and impossible, by persevering and keeping our eyes on our goal, by pushing, by not letting go and finding the right way, we can and will always succeed. It tought us also that God is there, that miracles do happen and the impossible becomes possible when the time is right and the star align for the purpose. I feel at peace and much calmer, more focused, centered in myself. Obstacles do not frighten me as I know there's always a way to reach to them.

This Harvest has brought me lessons, has brought me yoga, peace, determination, the closing of many cycles and forethoughts for the cycles to come.

Mabon: The Second Harvest and the Thanksgiving

On September 23rd my friend Alix, her daughter and I did a makeshift celabration of Mabon. I had been planning on taking out the time and celebrate this Sabbath as well, in my very own way, and soon I found that Alix wanted to celebrate it too. It surprised me then also to find out that her daughter, MJ, would be attending our improvised celebration.

Mabon is a name that was born in 1970, in the Wiccan religion to refer to Autumn Equinox, so we could simply call this celebration "Autumn Equinox". Madron is another usual name for the celebration. It marks the Second Harvest and also the day when the day and the night are of the same leght. In this spirit, and according to the books I've read, one can preceive the Autumn Equinox as a celebration of balance, and also as a celebration to be thankful for what we've received during this period. In this sense I set three little "reminders" or "decorations" (I can't call them altars as they are far from it): one at home, one at the office and then the one Alix, MJ and I set at Alix's place.

It may have looked strange to my coworkers, but no one said anything. Besides, it just looked like decoration, and since I still wear my silver cross, I guess no one would think I'd gone officially witchy, though if I do no one would be surprised (perks of being the official weirdo of the pack). Through the day, and as the days have passed (the bread and orange are gone now) this simple arrangement have served as reminder of the cycle fo nature and a particular part of it. This celebration is a moment to remember that with the bad comes the good, with the good the bad. Positive and Negative walk hand in hand just as day and night, sowing and harvest, work and rest, struggle and success. It serves as a reminder that things are not bad and there's mo such thing as bad luck or mean people out there to get you - though not once you may find ill intentioned people out there to harm you or profit from you. There are things that are yours to make and yours to worry about - that's your sowing and harvest, but there are others that also play in your work, that also add to your harvest, but that are out of your reach. And everything is part of your bounty.

Mabon makes me think of the organical us, that we are not alone in the world, pure individuals single handedly forging our destinies, but that the world, Mother Nature, the Universe, Prana, the Chi, God is out there and He also has a say and He also plants seeds in our life, and He is the Sun that warms our crops just like the rest of the world is the wind, the crows, the bees, the ox or horse, the basket, the scycle and so on. Yes, our choices are in our hands and we make them and we should shoulder them, but Mabon remind you that no element, no part is alone, that we are all together and we are all part of the harvest and you shall remember your fellows, your country, the nature, the planet, and don't just write it down on your stars. We are more, everything is more and God in His infinite wisdom has created such a perfect Mother Nature, such a perfect Universe, such a Prana, such a magnificent Chi, it is balanced out to bring to our harvest always the best our actions can achieve.

As a Christian - though admitedly it is not the path religion or the church encourages - I feel curious of the celebrations of other religions, of their ideas and what they hold up. In this sense I like and admire the Wiccan or Pagan celebrations as a wonderful way of reminding us of the Work of God reflected in the nature He has put around us, which we, as social and economical beings, are set on ignoring and destructing, pretending that recycling and reducing our carbon emissions is all we need to "respect nature".

Our celebration was simple and quite trampled. I must admit I'm not a very good ceremony leader, specially not when suddenly appointed. :-P Armed with "Wicca" by Scott Cunningham, we set on the dining table a small arrangement of eight red tea candles to represent the Wheel of the Year. In the center we put two candles - a red one and an orange one - presumably to represent the God and Goddess, though no one was appointed officially (God and Mother Nature, maybe?) with two cups to hold the offer (beer and chips). Outside the Wheel of the Year we set the four elements corresponding with the four corners of the world (North, East, South and West), and then did the small ceremony. Each of us made an offer of chips (cake) and beer (ale) before partaking the bounty and then shared an experince of somethinggood that has come from something bad. Without question mine was the experience of the thesis, and how we had to put up with so much crap from the tutor only to prevail in the end and come out rewarded in so many ways.

The experience was wonderful, truth to be told. Pagan music in the background and a shy attempt to raise energy. The fear to cast circle - so we left that out for another time - the insecurity of looking dumb doing this, and the awesome sense of sharing something deep with willing people, something from the core, unattached to any socially bound religion to be deeply human, deeply introspective and naively reaching out to God to say, "Dude, you are so awesome!".

Yes, I may climb one day on the roof at 5 am and make my attempt to sing Adhan (Muslim call to prayer), then roll out my yoga mat and pray on it. I might, and I strongly believe it doesn't make me less Christian, but instead it makes me a human being seeking to reach out to God in as many ways as He has inspired mankind to reach out to Him and communicate with Him to request, thank and simply tell Him, "God, you rock!".

Money

So, I wasn't paid because they haven't paid? Oh cool. And when was I supposed to know that? These people as stupid.

I run through the news these days and nothing really catches my attention. Sarkozy is spending his Christmas in Egypt. Alitalia is flunking... all that goes in my mind is my paying capacity (which is reduced unless I touch my Euros, which I'm reluctant), and the rest of my trip. Vienna is now present more than ever in my mind.

I have a new, dear friend, Laszló. I call him Horseman. There's something about him that drives me to him. He's so gentle!

It's late again, and I should be in bed. Tomorrow we'll attend mass at the Kék Golyó street Lutheran Church. This is one of the few times I can actually go to my church, so I take every available opportunity. My friend, Carrie said something that can be paraphrased like this: God and Jesus are everywhere, not only in Church, but at church you can find the so needed congregation. Not in so many words, but this is the main idea (she's much better articulated).

I wonder if the world is so much different here than back at home... my other home, and if it is not, they why can't we solve our problems the same way?

Some friends of mine were talking about how a University title is completely irrelevant here to get a good job because, according to them, there are no good jobs, no well paying jobs at least, and everybody is poor. Life is different, but I wouldn't say people is poor here. Things are expensive and there are more bills, but life is possible. I feel offended when people dismiss diplomas arguing that "there's people out there with many diplomas starving and unable to get a job". I say, there's people who hasn't found their right timing or are looking at the wrong places and in the worng way. I know that getting a good job is hard, and many times you need "protection" to get somewhere, but I have scanned the Internet, I have seen good enterprises seeking people with experience and skills, AND the diploma to fill some positions, so it is a blatant lie that diplomas are useless. Yes, they are "in the way" if you don't have the experience, but hard work and the strenght to keep going, faith in God, above all, can take you here and anywhere to be where you want to be.

I don't want to be disgustingly rich, or dirty rich, I just want to live well, have no money isues, and be able to support my family, keep them comfortable. I want to be able to help my family as well as my home, my land, my country. I don't need the richness of kings, only the comfort of a good home and the satisfaction that the investment made with me has paid back. I have put my faith on the Lord, and wherever he takes me will bem withouth the slightest of doubts, the best place for me.

It is my believe, however, that God has given us capabilities, and we must put them to good use. Study if we can do it, and make ourselves usefull. Sure, we all complain from time to time, but complain about our lives, our fate after it has been given to us the chance to do something with it, is an insult to God. One must be man enough to face the consequences of what we do with our lives and our capabilities.