When to Stop Writing

Regarding penpals, there's a topic that often comes to my mind and that's about the sorting out of the penpals. I have several penpals, and even more addresses that will be soon balled up and slam dunked into the paper basket as they proved to be one-letter- penpals. Not that I mind, though, and mean, if they ever write again I'll probably reply, but until then I need to clear up space and keep at hand only the addresses I really need. However, this is not about the one-letter ones, but rather about some recurrent penpals I don't really feel a connection with, or maybe only a weak connection. You see, I have my favorites, and they are not many, they are a few, but these ones I LOVE like you have no idea. If you are into letter writing you probably know the feeling: those penpals who make you jump, who make you smile and laugh and carrry their letter with you to the office, and sneak into the stairwell or the bathroom, or the furthers corner of the diner, or even eat outside, away from anybody that might know you in order to read what they have to say. Those you answer before anyother, or you yearn to read even when you force yourself to wait and keep the order of arrival.

Given the circumstances that have surrounded this year for me, I have fallen back with a lot of my correspondence, which means that I have made some of my friends, even my favorites, wait up to six months for a reply. Terrible, I know, but I believe that I rather make someone wait for a well written letter (though that doesn't mean they won't be plagued with mistakes, as I'm the Striking Queen in Letterworld) than a half assed missive, sent just to keep up with the schedule, though not with the quality. Through all the things that had been happening in all fronts of my life - thanks Hyne my boyfriend is Godsent, so that wasn't an issue, and that my family is a blessing, so that didn't give me headaches, and my friends are simply perfect so they were supportive the whole time - I started thinking about my penpals, and whether it was actually meaningful to keep penpals other than my favorites. I mean, probably everybody has favorites, and we are supposed to like all our penpals, but should I, as a penpal, keep any of them other than those that really thrill me? Those that make me tick?

Well, probably if everybody decided to cast out all those penpals that are not your favorite, you would find out that maybe you are not the favorite of one of your favorites (though I really, really hope to be in the Top Ten of my favorite!), and thus if such a move were to be applied by all, there would be a lot of broken friend hearts around there, but at least you'd know were you stand. But then again, is it mature or fair to keep up with penpals that don't click for you, just because you are afraid of losing those you like? I'd say, man up, own up to it and stop thinking about what you might lose or find out just by doing what you feel like doing. Penpalling is supposed to be for fun, not another chore, so why should you put up with chore-like letters?

One of my favorites, and she knows she is, writes also to someone I can't stand. And I mean this in the "that person creeps me out to the point of making my skin crawl back and every fibre of my body tensing with the burning desire to run away screaming and waving my hands above my head". How does she put up with such a weirdo is beyond me, but she does. I guess she's just that giving and perfect. (She's the only penpal I have of whom I know another penpal, and I know who are we talking about.) I guess eventually we all need people like her, who can see the worth or the good in others and write inspite of the weirdness of their ways. Who knows, maybe I'm not one of her favorites and she finds something irking about my letters - maybe my annoyingly messy and clustered up handwriting - though she doesn't get the worse of it. However, shall it stop you from taking a decision like this based again on fear?

I'm still on a site for penpals, and I still get request from girls around the globe (after the many hitting moves from many guys, I decided to be discriminative and close the door on men in this regard. I won't write to them unless I know them personally), who are so nice, to whom I want to write badly, and I'm always concerned about the load of penpals I already have. So, am I this way closing my door also to more potential favorites just to keep on my plate people I don't enjoy writing to all that much?

Being a penpal is more than writing and receiving letters, it's also about knowing when something works out, accepting when you don't work out for someone else, even if you liked them, and about letting go those who do not click with you. It's thought though, so I guess I'll still give it some time.