Many Ideas left in the inkwell

Property of Stormberry

Planning and preparation are great tools to make sure you get to do all you want. I love planning & preparing, and usually have calendars and lists and all sorts of stuff with this in mind. And it usually works... except when it comes to planning and preparing a blogpost. I think I have tried in the past, specially in 2012, when I was writing a post every single day. Wow, that was something!

I took part on a Philofaxy meeting at the begining of this month -  which I enjoyed like CRAZY! and everybody who has and loves filofax planners should seriously consider attending - and it was such an experience to show my system. So I was thinking about making a post about how I use my planner, and how have I've combined the bullet journal and the filofax system in one that pretty much works well, as well as showing a color-splashed, pretty hassle-free, free form, non-artistic spread. Ok, I work on them ONCE a year, and you could pretty much get the same thing just buying or printing out those inserts and that's all.

So I planned the theme, the idea, and even made the pictures for the post. LOTS of pictures. Really, like a huge bunch of them, so I had many, many angles and stuff to show, depending on how the text was going to turn out. And then... that's not what happened.

Life happened, that's what happened, and I was buried under a landslide of work and university homework, and preparing for lectures - because I'm one of those students that likes to read ahead of the class - and so the pictures are stored, along with the ideas, and I come here with new pictures - much less - and an etirely unstructured, different post idea. Like in the old days. Remember those?

Journaling is one of my favorite topics, in case you haven't noticed. That would be because I love journaling, and I love it because it's free. Of course the book costs money, and so the pen and the ink (for many years now, I only journal with fountain pens), but what I mean is that there is not set structure, like even the most free planning systems have. No keys, no rules, no blocks within the page to keep you organized, no indentation or color coding. Ok, I tend to write the initial "block" the same way (you know, the part with the date and so), but this has also changed through time a lot. There was a time when I always wrote it in Japanese (I don't speak Japanese, but I was learning and the date formula stayed in my brain for long), or always in French, and so. I have thought here and there to go Anaïs Nin and leave out the date and just write, BUT I actually need the dates because my memory is famously bad, and sadly I have encountered people in my life who have tried to gaslight me thinking I wouldn't know, because I don't remember. HA! Never underestimate a person with a journal.

Property of Stormberry

Journaling is kind of the other end of the planning and preparing. It is the summarizing and processing. There are many ways to do this too, and there is people that keep also many journals for different purposes. I usually have one journal, though for a while I've been also using a Simple Diary a friend of mine gave me, in which I either pick here and there a page at random, or look for one that has the kind of prompt I want to fill out - it's kinda funny to have a non-chronological diary like this. I also have a journal that's too... designed and thematic to be a real journal of any sort for me (I write sooo much and have soooo many thoughts and opinions, I just don't have time for top tens, favorite music of a whole page covered with a black butterfly), in which I only write in pencil, short and "cryptic", dark thoughts. Yeah, I have those too. It's like my punk-journal. No dates.

But these are like my "shot" journals, stuff that stays there through the years and, get attention, the-gods-know-when. Good, shot journals for the instant boost or unloading, or taking the edge of something. But my journal, MY JOURNAL - oh ho hoooo! - that's something else. Even if I don't write every day - which I don't - when I write, it's deep, detailed, and nearly forensic. I love that.

This year I also decided to start using my Witches's Datebook - a datebook I have gotten every year since 2012, if I remember correctly - also to record small notes on my mood or things that made me tick or made me smile. The idea was to start making a sort of lunar journal, which, yeah, not only I don't journal daily, I had no idea who could I make a spread for that in my planner. The idea was to record quite simply how I feel, so I could see actually how the moon and its phases affect me. In the end, well, you can see, I used it also to record stuff like a particular call from someone, a witchy virtual meeting, or just feeling like I really, really love someone in particular that day.

For two years now, I have decided to use these datebooks only to plan stuff that related to my personal or academic life. I wanted a work-free space, and so stuff like classes, exams, meeting friends and so on, got there. It was also on my bullet journal, mind you, but I also copied it there, specially because this datebook is my reference for stuff like astrological aspects to consider (Mercury Retrograde being major there, which starts tomorrow, by the way), and also the daily color. If you check many of my previous ones, most of them are quite blank, but recently they seem more full, and now... well, it feels like I need a wee bit more of space. :-) But then, for that, when the thoughts overflow, if I feel like I want to dissect them, I pull out my journal, uncap a pen - or two - and let the ink and the thoughts flow together.

So, in the end, I have a journal, and along with it, I have littl journal helpers that either aid in the process of refining the idea and shed the initial punch out of them, or they accumulate small bits here and there, so that later on I can wax poetry on this or that is so totally wrong/right about this, and what I think about it, and where the flaws in the logic are, and thus why I come to the well-thought conclusion... of whatever I conclude.

The point is, it's ok to plan & prepare, and heck! do it as much as you can! But when life throws a wrench into your gears, or you need to chillax a little or you just need to unload and let go and have a non-planned, non-prepared, just free flowing moment, don't beat yourself over it, and take any way, shape or form you feel like it. Scribble in pencil on a corner of your planner, type down a short note in your notes app, or use a journaling app, or take a picture and write a caption, or write nothing, draw a spiral on a post-it... express yourself, for yourself, in nay way you can connect.

That's the point.

Ho'oponopono: my initial standing

This Christmas I received from a very dear friend of mine a Ho'oponopono kit of sorts. It was a box with a small book and a set of twelve cards developped by María-Elisa Hurtado-Graciet and Jean Graciet. My friend is witchy-leaning, and we talk a lot (generally, we talk A LOT!) about self-esteem, self-empowerment, meditation, crystals, herbs and witchy things. So, on that line, she found this set and thought I would love it. Honestly, from the description of the back, I would have thought the same. But, clearly, that was not the case.

According to the description on the back, Ho'oponopono is an ancient Hawaiian method to reconciliate parts that are in disagreement. I have seen books and stuff about it before in the bookstores I visit, and I know I have taken some in my hand, but have never been drawn to them enough to buy them. The pull was there, but it wasn't strong enough. Like with the I-Ching: I have seen a lot of books and stuff about it in the New Age sections of bookstores, but so far I haven't reached out and bought any. Well, it was the same withe the Ho'oponopono, which means that I was so excited I've got it as a present. (I'm including a link to the Wikipedia site of this method, in case you want to know more about it.)

I tore into the book, and loved the art on the cards. I leafed through them and some were strange, but others were so pretty! I could already see myself including them in my daily routine, maybe by drawing a card before the morning meditation I'm trying to do - which doesn't work everyday, but that's how a work in process looks like: in process - and so I started reading the book. So here is what I've found.

The Positive

If I say I found something positive about it, I would lie to you. Surely there are many positive things for people in this method, like centering on love and working on traumas and so, but the way it goes bothers me, truth to be told.

My Objections

I had many, to be honest, but I'll group them in four main cathegories, as follows.

The idea of the Creator

According to the book I read, all of it starts from a very existentialist point of view: each person is a creator of the whole universe, and nothing exists that haven't been created by them. This means, according to the book, that there are no problems and obstacles, because people have created them all in their minds. So, when you have a problem or you are bothered by something, well, it's something that exists in your head, that you created with your thoughts and so you must cleanse your thoughts in order to fix the problem.

At one point, I believe, thee book says there are no victims of guilty parties, and each person is responsible of their own circumstances (because they have created them). And here lies for me, the problem: from this point of view, you are responsible for everything, and this would also mean, that if something happens to you, something you can't control, something where you are a victim, this method tells you that it's your responsability, you created this. Think about assault, about being victim of fraud, or the gods fobid, rape. You would also be responsible for war. And this isn't so.

Many groups have worked so hard to make people aware that they are not the guilty party when they are the victims. A lot of work is being made to stop revictimization. And though the cases I mentioned above are extreme, think of others much more common, where revictimization goes on without notice, such as unemployment. Often we hear people say that those who are unemployed are either lazy or too picky, or just want to be kept by the Government. If you have been unemployed, and I have, you know that it might not be so easy for you to find a job. Even finding a job as a waitress or a server at a fast food restaurant takes time, and needs you to fill some requirements. Finding a job requires more than preparation, and the will to work, so no, if you are unemployed isn't because you've created a world with bad memories that keep you from working (nor is it because you are lazy, as probably your own anxiety, and willingness to take just any job that assures you an income and a safe place to work, tells you).

This is not your doing. So, from here on (and this was the first key of the method), things got pear-shaped.

The strange reaction against the Rational Mind

This made me suspitious. Why would it be bad to think and analyze? The book likened thinking and rationalizing things to behaving like a statistics centered computer, and said basically, that nothing good came out of it. The problems people face come from "bad memories", and since the rational mind processes memories, it takes in bad data and work it into the thinking process, and so, future projections come out tainted with it. Ho'oponopono tells you to release memories with love, in a process that wasn't completely clear for me with this book and the cards, but it was like taking your shadow (like the hurts you have, your traumas), and releasing them with love, forgiving (yourself?), and... yeah, they are gone.

I find it hard to imagine that you can easily let go of memories, and become insensitive to them, but then I guess this would drive you to a longer sort of inner work, to face your demons until you overcome them. This would be good, and this was going to be a positive I would have highlighted from the process, but then, as I considered how analyzing and mentally processing the traumas was discouraged - and the very process wasn't clearly explained - I couldn't embrace it.

Now, this might work for some people, but I am a quite cerebral type of person, and I need to analyze, research and study a subject from different angles to understand it and appropiate it. For me, working with my shadow also means taking subjects that hurt me, and put them under the microscope for analysis. When I understand what hurts me, I see it for what it is, I find it easier to let it go permanently, or value it accordingly. If I were to act only on emotion, and force myself to "love" what causes me pain, it would eventually come back to haunt me. I know, I've been there already.

So yes, this was an "oh Hell no!" moment for me.

The Identity

This was a strange one too. The book held that people are part of the Divine, which I agree with. I mean, I'm Pagan, and as such, I know myself and everybody else to be part of Nature, the Universe, the Gods and everything around us. I know were are not separate from the Divine... but we are we. In Ho'oponopono it was like you are a part of the Divine, and that's it. You are not your profession, nor your opinions, nor your thoughts, your posessions, your religious believes... You are just a part of the Divine, so you should just... be that.

Now, yes, we are not JUST our profession or our opinions or our thoughts, but they are part of us, and often times they are part of how we represent ourselves, and if we represent ourselves so, it's because they are part of us. So the sum of our profession, opinions, thoughts, feelings, emotions, believes and so much more are also who we are.

For instance, I'm an economist, and a lot of myself and what I do swirls around that. My studies, my research, my interests, thee books I buy, the way I introduce myself, my dreams, my hopes and so on. But it's not the only part of me. I'm also an avid reader, and I love mystery books. And I'm also Pagan and a witch, so that plays also into who I am and how I conduct my life.

In my view, our identity defines much of how we decide to live our lives, and whether we are happy or not. Denying your many facets might not be conductive to happiness.

Achieving Peace

This was the most upsetting part for me. Peace is supposed to be achieved only when you let go of your non-identity identity, of your rational mind and rationalizing impulses, as well as all the bad memories. I wasn't sold on the idea (at all), but when I read a phrase that translates like "what would you rather have, your believes and opinions or peace?", I was livid.

The book often also refered to convictions as believes, so bear that in mind.

Now, think of all the movements that have made a difference in our society, which worked to improve it: the fights against segregation, the movements for the rights of women, the movements for the rights of workers, the very independence wars many countries fought. Were they less important than peace? Were those convictions and opinions and believes less important than peace?

Maybe this is too big-scale and the method should be thought only in person-size, but people also have their inner revolutions. Going from being an employee to a self-employed person, and start a business, and walk the walk and try to make ends meet requires of conviction, opinions and believes. It means loosing peace, and choosing to fight instead of staying in a place that's not satisfying anymore.

Perhaps it means to say that you should not put so much thought into your troubles, and make them the centerpiece of your life, but the wording troubled me greatly.

Is it for me?

I think I don't need to go further on on this, but no, this is not for me. And that's ok. It might be good for you, and even if you are not sure, you may want to give it a try and investigate it on your own, for your own opinion.

I'm happy I had the chance to learn about it, and most probably I'll use the cards as journaling cards. It also helps me to give me a topic to think about and work on understand. This is a method that some people choose and follow successfully, and even though it's not for me, it worth research it to understand better those for whom it work.

What do you think?

New Year and All That

Property of Stormberry.

Are you a New Year enthusiast? No? Well, a lot of people are not. I am, before you ask me, for many reasons, which I'll tale you about in this post. A lot of people are often excited about the New Year because it means parties and usually some of the best parties of the year. I still remember some of my most memorable New Years, spent with friends, or with family or even alone. I remember a bitter sweet one too, spent in Paris - my first time in Paris - and though then I wasn't feeling very happy towards the end, as I remember it, that was also an amazing New Year. (That's also when I realize how super nice French people can be when you make the effort to speak in French.)

However, yes, a lot of people get grumpy about the New Year, specially in pandemic-laced times like the ones we are living right now, and hurl things at the rest like "New Year is just another day", and "nothing will magically get better just because of it", or "it's not even a real New Year because there is a distortion that can't be corrected with the Skip-Year". Yes, I move in strange circles sometimes, but hey, I'm a witch, and I have learned that I tend to attract the weird.

So, the answer your questions, those are all either partially true statements or... not even that important. The point is that they are beyond the point. I mean, if New Year is just another day, hey, so are Saturday and Sunday, and yet we call them "weekend", and have "weekend plans" and all that. And what about Holidays? And no, nothing will "magically get better"... if you don't believe in magic, and if you do, congratulations! Then you know that you are the one who does the magic and the time of the year can give you the push to work the magic and make things better. Oh, and magic (or magick), isn't easy-peasy either. Any witch worth his or her salt would tell you that magic takes a lot of work, a lot of research, a lot of concentration and loads and loads of practice. So yes, actually this can "magickally get better", with all it entails.

Now, you can have your reasons for loving or liking or looking forward to the New Year, and I would love if very much if you decided to share them. Here, I will give you some of my own, and also some of my thoughts on the matter... because, you know (not so) daily thoughts and random ideas. :-)

This post will look somewhat different from all my other posts, and I know that because I put in the "topics" I would like to touch on before hand. I'm trying a new thing here, so bear with me. :-)

Get a New Planner

Property of Stormberry

Ok, I use a filofax and I do bullet journal now, but still, getting a new planner is an experience I love so, so much! I'm totally in love with my A5 Ochre Filofax Malden, and I doubt I'll ever change it... unless it falls apart, which I hope it doesn't. Still, I love looking at the options and sometimes I imagine getting a Filofax Malden in Pear (also in A5) because I really, really, REALLY love green, and since I moved from Personal size to A5 thanks to my lovely friend Tina, I think I'll also stay with this size... even if the planner doesn't fit in my smaller bags. I think I've found that elusive sweetspot known as Planner Peace. Was it planner-peace or planner-heaven?

Anyway, this is part of my New Year excitement. I'm not one to sit down monthly or weekly to draw up calendars and do all that shebang, but I do the whole year at once, and so, the New Year and days around it are perfect for that. I make my calendars, plan my trackers, decide what stays, what goes, select some "themes" when I want to, and along with my resolutions, I decide which subjects I would like to pay more attention to. For instance, one of my resolutions for this year is to blog more (aren't you happy about that?), and so, I decided to make a sort of tracker for posts. A simple one, mind you, just marking on a grid whether I posted or not.

On top of that, I also use (since 2012, I believe) a Witches Datebook by Llewellyn, which helps me with my witchy practice, and has a lot of stuff I find quite interesting. I'm linking you here the Datebook I'm currently using, at the site of Llewellyn, but normally I buy mine at Amazon.com. AND with my Witches Datebook, I also buy a Witches Calendar, also my Llewellyn. They go together so well, and though you can use only one, using them together makes perfect sense. I have tried to buy other things, specially a Herbal Almanac (I've been years into trying to tap my more herbal side, even though I'm really awful at gardening), but I just don't have the time to read and peruse so many stuff. Maybe some other year. Maybe I'll make that a resolution sometime. Who knows, right? :-D

I'm also much into calendars, and I like to have them almost in every single wall, specially because many have really pretty pictures. Or so I search them so. So I spend time around the end of the year and beginning of it, looking for pretty calendars. I usually go for calendars related to Art Nouveau, coffee, or maybe something that interests me in the moment. I'm not so much into calendars of dogs or cats or cars or nature. So that's also an exciting process.

Now, because we live in a social world where years are measured in a certain way, calendars are more often than not, also offered specially in certain times of the year. So is with datebooks, planners and such. So, if you are into calendars, this is the time when you can get them. This is also the time when many stores and organizations also gift planners and calendars. Isn't that exciting? If you are not much into calendars because... whatever reason, maybe one day you may like to try finding one you like. There are so many options! Millions and millions of themes, pictures, photographs, artistic, funny, nature related, architecture... pretty much, whatever strikes your fancy. And not only about the pictures, you can also find calendars that focus on the phases of the Moon, or full of astrological or astronomical data, or with space for planning (bigger squares or lines), even calendars for families (for each day you have a number of columns, usually five, for the plans of each family member), which can be used to keep track of multiple things, like family-work-studies, or to track events in social media, and real life.

And this is the time to get them. Would you miss out on the fun?

New Plans Too

With a New Year, certain new plans must be made. In Costa Rica (where I currently live), school usually starts in February or sometimes in January. This is because back in the day, when coffee production was huge here, all able hands were needed for the harvest, which happens (depending on the area) usually around November, December and January too. In some places it can start as early as October also, for what I heard. So, traditionally, children went to the coffee plantation with the parents to help them with the harvest. As it was desirable that the children were sent to school also, the school year was moved around it, and it stayed that way. So, as result, with the begining of the year, we start also a new chapter of learning. Further education programs and so, often also follow this yearly cycle, so the new year is presents also a chance for people to enroll into a school or a program to further their education, and these are part of the new plans you can make, at anytime, but in the New Year, you might be more aware of them or even feel more motivated to take a new path.

Our society works also in cycles determined by the year: businesses and entertainment places launch their new yearly programs and even fashion has new seasons. A new year can set a new theme, a new purpose, a new plan. This is when the new calendar events are presented, and if you are into it, this is when you can check for your expected book launches (I already have one I'm waiting for on April 20th), or concerts, seminars, movies and what-have-you. This is when you can pencil it in your calendar and plan to save for it.

As a witch, the New Year also means planning for a new round of Sabbaths, which in my case also means to make sure I have enough mead, because, hey, I'm that kind of a witch. :-) But you don't have to be a witch to have fun with the New Year (though it helps, honestly), because this is also when you can check your calendar and see when are those blessed long weekends and you can start planning on the trips you can make. And what now when travelling is being restricted due to the pandemic? Well, you can still make plans! The New Year and all it's happy, excited, dreamy energy is perfect to come up with creative new ways to make things amazing. Remember, when there's a will, there's a way.

The idea of cycles can have a powerful effect on people. For once, instead of feeling like you are drowning in a constant of days over which you have no power, facing things that are bigger than yourself, when you are able to chop up the time continuum into easy year-sized bits, you actually get a better sense of control. You can measure what you have achieved, how long have you gone, and you also get the feeling that you can correct what you did wrong. It doesn't matter that you make resolutions you then don't keep, what matters is the learning process. If you want to keep your resolutions, hey, work on adapting them. If you don't keep them, but don't care because the fun is just in making them and then see if they come to pass by themselves, have fun then!

You know how many of my 2020 resolutions I have achieved? Less than a half. And do I worry? Oh Hell no! That way I alreay have half a list of resolutions to recycle! Gara see the good side of it, right? By the way, one of my resolutions for 2020 was to relearn to play piano, which would have had happened if I had a piano, which I would have had if I my house would havee been finished in time, and I would have not been a victim of bank fraud and would have not lost my money. The resolution is still a valid one, and though the moving into my home is very, very near, buying my piano might take some time, but I don't worry. That's a dream for the future. I'll just listen to Fleetwood Mac albums in the meantime.

The Seasons

Though we have two or four seasons (depends on where you live), a New Year gives you a chance to have a new experience with each of them. There are places like Central America (and I believe most of the places in the Tropics of Cancer and Capricorn), where the seasons look pretty much the same, and we often have all the fruits and veggies in all seasons. Still, each season has its own delights and there are some fruits and veggies or some celebrations that happen only on certain seasons. We have also high season and low season, and again, though the current pandemic situation might make it hard for us to visit other countries or beaches and mountains, there is always something around to enjoy. Blooming of trees and flowers in the garden, or our plants in pots, the way the Sun lights the sky at certain angles, the scents in the air, the sound of the rain that's so particular to each time of the year, the heat, the cold, and the chances it brings to wear this or that outfit. Even at home! Come on, you know you can make this fun!

In today's Occidental society, we don't use to celebrate the seasons, and though small groups of people might choose to celebrate the seasons, or you do it individually, the collective, global effort is centered into the one night of the year. Besides, if we had a day marked for celebrating the changing of each season, naysayers would have four more chances to bitch about it. Once is enought, I would say. Yet still, in order to experience a given season again, a whole year has to pass, and so, celebrating a New Year also means that we will again have the seasons, and the chance to live them, maybe even better than the last time.

Anyway, as nearly the whole planet celebrate the New Year the same day, I believe that all that festive and happy energy tend to go around the globe and make someting super-positive for all of us. We all feed on this awesome energy of hopes, and dreams and new beginings. Yes, there are people who get depressed, that happens too, and also with Christmas, and so on, but there is also a lot of this amazing energy floating around, and if you want and can, why not take advantage of it and ride the wave of hopes and celebration?

You know, maybe this year, just like the last, will be hard in this regard, and we won't be able to travel and go out all we want, but that means also less conmuting time and more time for calm and for planning new, cool ways to do something fun. It's maybe time to learn to be comfortable with ourselves, inside, without looking for the external excitement. Instead of going out and looking for fun and inspiration, how about you invite it in? Maybe then, when we can go outside again, freely, we could also bear gifts for the world. Don't you think?

The Social Thing

Though it might be arbitrary, a year has ended and another has began, and so we measure with it not only time, but also things measured with time: years of life, years in a relationship, years of experience. In the end, though we are individuals, we live in society, and even if there are many things that need improving and changing (I'm not going there now), we are also part of this rhythm. The years pass, and we have again and again the chance to push forward. In this period, peppered with seasons and landmarks and celebrations and holidays, and days of remembrance of milestones of the history, year after year we get the chance to work on our projects, make something of them.

A number of years pass in order to elect our leaders, in countries where there are (working) democratic governments, and in the years in between, we can evaluate how they manage the power they have been given.

Years also mark the time for bonuses, in those jobs where such premiums are given, or also mark the time were an extra monthly payment is given - such as in Costa Rica, where in December we are paid double - but years also mark special offer times, like the Black Friday, for instance, or the January sales.

In the end, a lot of things in the social life are arbitrary, but are conventions that end up marking the life around us. The sense of time and the lotting up of it, in the end, define much of what we make and how we do it. Years are instrumental to define when you start school, when you become of legal age, when you can retire (in countries where there are provisons for that), and so, why not celebrate it?

Go on, celebrate it and make the most of it, and have a happy 2021!