This Christmas I received from a very dear friend of mine a Ho'oponopono kit of sorts. It was a box with a small book and a set of twelve cards developped by María-Elisa Hurtado-Graciet and Jean Graciet. My friend is witchy-leaning, and we talk a lot (generally, we talk A LOT!) about self-esteem, self-empowerment, meditation, crystals, herbs and witchy things. So, on that line, she found this set and thought I would love it. Honestly, from the description of the back, I would have thought the same. But, clearly, that was not the case.
According to the description on the back, Ho'oponopono is an ancient Hawaiian method to reconciliate parts that are in disagreement. I have seen books and stuff about it before in the bookstores I visit, and I know I have taken some in my hand, but have never been drawn to them enough to buy them. The pull was there, but it wasn't strong enough. Like with the I-Ching: I have seen a lot of books and stuff about it in the New Age sections of bookstores, but so far I haven't reached out and bought any. Well, it was the same withe the Ho'oponopono, which means that I was so excited I've got it as a present. (I'm including a link to the Wikipedia site of this method, in case you want to know more about it.)
I tore into the book, and loved the art on the cards. I leafed through them and some were strange, but others were so pretty! I could already see myself including them in my daily routine, maybe by drawing a card before the morning meditation I'm trying to do - which doesn't work everyday, but that's how a work in process looks like: in process - and so I started reading the book. So here is what I've found.
The Positive
If I say I found something positive about it, I would lie to you. Surely there are many positive things for people in this method, like centering on love and working on traumas and so, but the way it goes bothers me, truth to be told.
My Objections
I had many, to be honest, but I'll group them in four main cathegories, as follows.
The idea of the Creator
According to the book I read, all of it starts from a very existentialist point of view: each person is a creator of the whole universe, and nothing exists that haven't been created by them. This means, according to the book, that there are no problems and obstacles, because people have created them all in their minds. So, when you have a problem or you are bothered by something, well, it's something that exists in your head, that you created with your thoughts and so you must cleanse your thoughts in order to fix the problem.
At one point, I believe, thee book says there are no victims of guilty parties, and each person is responsible of their own circumstances (because they have created them). And here lies for me, the problem: from this point of view, you are responsible for everything, and this would also mean, that if something happens to you, something you can't control, something where you are a victim, this method tells you that it's your responsability, you created this. Think about assault, about being victim of fraud, or the gods fobid, rape. You would also be responsible for war. And this isn't so.
Many groups have worked so hard to make people aware that they are not the guilty party when they are the victims. A lot of work is being made to stop revictimization. And though the cases I mentioned above are extreme, think of others much more common, where revictimization goes on without notice, such as unemployment. Often we hear people say that those who are unemployed are either lazy or too picky, or just want to be kept by the Government. If you have been unemployed, and I have, you know that it might not be so easy for you to find a job. Even finding a job as a waitress or a server at a fast food restaurant takes time, and needs you to fill some requirements. Finding a job requires more than preparation, and the will to work, so no, if you are unemployed isn't because you've created a world with bad memories that keep you from working (nor is it because you are lazy, as probably your own anxiety, and willingness to take just any job that assures you an income and a safe place to work, tells you).
This is not your doing. So, from here on (and this was the first key of the method), things got pear-shaped.
The strange reaction against the Rational Mind
This made me suspitious. Why would it be bad to think and analyze? The book likened thinking and rationalizing things to behaving like a statistics centered computer, and said basically, that nothing good came out of it. The problems people face come from "bad memories", and since the rational mind processes memories, it takes in bad data and work it into the thinking process, and so, future projections come out tainted with it. Ho'oponopono tells you to release memories with love, in a process that wasn't completely clear for me with this book and the cards, but it was like taking your shadow (like the hurts you have, your traumas), and releasing them with love, forgiving (yourself?), and... yeah, they are gone.
I find it hard to imagine that you can easily let go of memories, and become insensitive to them, but then I guess this would drive you to a longer sort of inner work, to face your demons until you overcome them. This would be good, and this was going to be a positive I would have highlighted from the process, but then, as I considered how analyzing and mentally processing the traumas was discouraged - and the very process wasn't clearly explained - I couldn't embrace it.
Now, this might work for some people, but I am a quite cerebral type of person, and I need to analyze, research and study a subject from different angles to understand it and appropiate it. For me, working with my shadow also means taking subjects that hurt me, and put them under the microscope for analysis. When I understand what hurts me, I see it for what it is, I find it easier to let it go permanently, or value it accordingly. If I were to act only on emotion, and force myself to "love" what causes me pain, it would eventually come back to haunt me. I know, I've been there already.
So yes, this was an "oh Hell no!" moment for me.
The Identity
This was a strange one too. The book held that people are part of the Divine, which I agree with. I mean, I'm Pagan, and as such, I know myself and everybody else to be part of Nature, the Universe, the Gods and everything around us. I know were are not separate from the Divine... but we are we. In Ho'oponopono it was like you are a part of the Divine, and that's it. You are not your profession, nor your opinions, nor your thoughts, your posessions, your religious believes... You are just a part of the Divine, so you should just... be that.
Now, yes, we are not JUST our profession or our opinions or our thoughts, but they are part of us, and often times they are part of how we represent ourselves, and if we represent ourselves so, it's because they are part of us. So the sum of our profession, opinions, thoughts, feelings, emotions, believes and so much more are also who we are.
For instance, I'm an economist, and a lot of myself and what I do swirls around that. My studies, my research, my interests, thee books I buy, the way I introduce myself, my dreams, my hopes and so on. But it's not the only part of me. I'm also an avid reader, and I love mystery books. And I'm also Pagan and a witch, so that plays also into who I am and how I conduct my life.
In my view, our identity defines much of how we decide to live our lives, and whether we are happy or not. Denying your many facets might not be conductive to happiness.
Achieving Peace
This was the most upsetting part for me. Peace is supposed to be achieved only when you let go of your non-identity identity, of your rational mind and rationalizing impulses, as well as all the bad memories. I wasn't sold on the idea (at all), but when I read a phrase that translates like "what would you rather have, your believes and opinions or peace?", I was livid.
The book often also refered to convictions as believes, so bear that in mind.
Now, think of all the movements that have made a difference in our society, which worked to improve it: the fights against segregation, the movements for the rights of women, the movements for the rights of workers, the very independence wars many countries fought. Were they less important than peace? Were those convictions and opinions and believes less important than peace?
Maybe this is too big-scale and the method should be thought only in person-size, but people also have their inner revolutions. Going from being an employee to a self-employed person, and start a business, and walk the walk and try to make ends meet requires of conviction, opinions and believes. It means loosing peace, and choosing to fight instead of staying in a place that's not satisfying anymore.
Perhaps it means to say that you should not put so much thought into your troubles, and make them the centerpiece of your life, but the wording troubled me greatly.
Is it for me?
I think I don't need to go further on on this, but no, this is not for me. And that's ok. It might be good for you, and even if you are not sure, you may want to give it a try and investigate it on your own, for your own opinion.
I'm happy I had the chance to learn about it, and most probably I'll use the cards as journaling cards. It also helps me to give me a topic to think about and work on understand. This is a method that some people choose and follow successfully, and even though it's not for me, it worth research it to understand better those for whom it work.
What do you think?
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