If The Shoe Fits...

A little while ago I had an unpleasant experience with someone over a social network. Yep, Facebook, where all the problems seem to be grandized by all the stupid "likes" and apps and whatnots. It wasn't like that big of a deal, but the person involved pretty much thought that her case should take the headlines and suppress all other news in the globe. Yes, a Drama Queen. To put you a little bit in context, this is the case of someone that might or may not suffer from a psychological disease. I say "may or may not", because she claims so and claims to be so "super sensitive", and in my experience, people with actual mental or psychological issues rarely mention them or aknowledge them. Sure, I'm not a psychologist, so she might be a crop of crazy I don't know yet, but be it as it may, she is... special.

I met her through a Community some of the girls and I have, in which we talk about books, and where every once in a while we organize a bookswap. She was presented like a friend of a friend, and she immediately added me to her friends. I friended her back at the moment, but after a little while I unfriended her. Why? Because I can. We are not that close friends, and some of the things she was sharing where, frankly, disturbing. Not in the "crazy" sense, but in the "overwhelming" sense. She was basically picking fights with people over either unknown reasons or rather meaningful reasons and then making way too drastic decisions and wailing about it on the net for days and days.

Anyway, this year, I organized the Christmas Book Swap, and she signed in, but from the begining she was coming up with all sorts of troubles, and all of them troubles where she made sure to flaunt her financial status, which was uncomfortable for girls who can't afford that kind of lifestyle. Not to mention she made it in a way, where she pretty much demanded people to have and commiserate with her first world problems, which was even more troublesome. Soon after, she started imposing on people, among them, on our common friend, so I decided to rather keep my distance. Having seen what I have seen on her profile, I noticed that no words are better than anywords, for she can't twist and turn a no-reply. As result, I started flying over her comments, and when she directed a question at me I either reply it with as scarse words as I could, or would wait for her to realize the answer. Like, she asked who was the person who had lended her the address for the book swap, and I had made sure to give to all of the participants a calendar and a list of all booklists and addresses.

Here I was, following the non confrontational path, when one day, out of the blue, she attacked me (yes, she mentioned me by name), saying that I had "just unfriended her" and since I don't "like her anymore", she would leave the community. By then she wasn't an FB friend for two months but didn't realize, and I wasn't going to clarify. Oh, she did a big humbug, waited around (after saying there was nothing else for her and she would leave right at that moment), collected a few sympathetic comments, wallowed on the silence her comment received, and then was gone. After the big drama, I felt compelled - given my very notorious role as Book Swap Organizer - to explain to the girls some of what had happened.

The group quickly went back to normal and the matter hasn't been mentioned again, in which sense I believe the Admins, and I managed to contain the case. It also helped that the rest of the group is very mature. However, one thing that can be rescued from the case is the kind of people we meet on social networks, the kind of people we also have around us and the rights we actually have.

Social Networks have become a minefield, where thought and action can no longer be so freely shared as it used to in the days before the Internet (Yes, I remember those days). When you meet people in person, you have the chance to ignore them, to let the connection die when you don't feel the chrmistry, or when you realize there's nothing in common. Your words are usually surrounded with a context of gestures, or even in snailmailing, by the context of the rest of the letter. Relationships are organic. Yes, they can be difficult, but social networks add an extra difficulty. The "friend" or "unfriend", the need to add likes, and using likes as a quantitative measure of love received, the interpretation and misinterpretation of a comment, and then the pier pressure and the stupid pressure where you can't unfriend someone or stop following them because "they might get mad", so you must keep tracking on things that tire you, offend you or even overwhelm you. Why do I owe this woman and explanation about why I unfriended her? I actually don't. Why does she get mad because I unfriended her? She shouldn't.

Social Networks have become a dangerous thing where whatever you read, you could believe it's about you, even if it isn't, where someone's personal decision could be interpreted as an attack towards yourself, when there might be nothing further from the truth. Yes, we spend a lot of time online, but have you considered the chance of unplugging a little, limiting your exposure, and particularly your exposure to social networks, and go back to the way life was way back in the begining of the eighties? When social networks were an organic, live thing, and internet was for research? Maybe it could do wonders for us, less kids would feel attacked, and we all would be happier.

Gables

The small one isn't a gable.
The one at the left is.

Ever since I went to Salem, Massachusetts (the clarifying is needed, since there's a Salem in Oregon and another in New Hampshire, and I went to the one in Massachusetts, which is the one where the witch trials were held in 1692-1693), I have become somewhat obsessed with gables. For those of you who don't know what a gable is (I didn't until I went to visit the House of Seven Gables), it's an architectural structure, where a roof seems to come out of  the side of another, but have the same high. Like their upper beam is on the same level. Pretty much all I know of gables comes from my visit to the House of Seven Gables in Salem, which used to belong to the Ingersol family, related to some degree to writer Nathaniel Hawthorne, who has also become a writer I've gone obsessed with, also after my visit to Salem.

The look of the gables is quite charming from the outside, as it gives a roof a lovely something, a thing to give it interest, not to mention the source of light and space it can add to a space that usually doesn't get used enough, or properly. Of course, this is mostly used on buildings with roofs that have a steep angle, so the idea of a gable doesn't seem likely for buildings with flatter roofs.

After several considerations about my future and where will it be spent, I decided that I'll end up living here, in Costa Rica, thus I'm finally on the road of buying my own house (yes, after so many years, but then again, up until a few years ago I planned on living in Hungary, so there was no point in looking for a house in Costa Rica). The choices are either buy a house or buy a small piece of land (I don't actually know how you call this in English, but it's an area with no building upon it, good to build a house on it), and build a house to my liking. Both options are so popular in here, that often housing development companies buy a large piece of land, segment it in several parcels and then sell them to clients with the option of building for them one of the houses they have previously designed, or just the parcel for the client to build on it whatever type of house they please.

Last year I went to check out a Home Expo, and have been paying more attention to houses available for buying, apartments and so. Though I keep checking, it pretty much looks to me like that's not a choice that would satisfy my needs. It's like you can't find a single house with just one bathroom. Nobody thinks about the inconvenience of having to clean two bathrooms? All options I've checked have tiny kitchens, tiny bedrooms, walk-in closets and two or more bathrooms, and that doesn't meet my requirements. I want a good sized kitchen where cooking and baking is actually possible, not one where the only "cooking" that can be done is reduced to microwaving and coffee making. I also need a room that can house my books, and that means a proper sized library. I don't need two bathrooms, and I definitively don't need a master bathroom or a master bedroom. If the house is all mine, why would I need extra privacy?

Anyway, in the light of all this - and the exorbitant prices of houses here (really, often much more expensive than larger houses in the U.S,) - I decided it would be better to buy a parcel and build on it a house. And this is when the idea of the gables got inside me even more. At first I was worried that it would be hard to get builders here that would understand the concept of a gable as I want it, but then I found buildings in the city that have gables (ever since I knew of gables, I can't help it but check the roofs of buildings, hoping to find one), so I took pictures so I can tell the builders (when the time comes) what kind of roof I want.

The following thing was to decide how to use these gables in my house plan. Evidently, I'll need a two story house, which I wasn't originally considering, but if I want gables - and I want gables - then I'll need a two story house. (No, I'm not going for a three story house, that's just too much.) I've already planned what I'll have in the lower level, and how I want it pretty much arranged, and have an idea what I want for the upper level, but the shape of the gables might be complicated. Basically, I can put a bedroom in one gable and in another put a bathroom and a storage room (divide a gable in two, so half of it is the bathroom and half of it is a storage room for towels, toiletries, cleaning supplies, bed linen and such). Of course, the idea like that is nice, but how would it look?

This is where I started checking out images of interior design using spaces in gables and angled roof attics. Some of the images I've found are these:

For a Bedroom occupying a whole Gable

An interesting idea for a bedroom in a gable. It's cozy and perfect, though it puts two windows when I'd like only one.

Again a cozy solution and only one window.

For a Bathroom occupying half a Gable

The window is  in the wrong side of the gable, and the distribution isn't of my liking, but I like how it fits.

The window is in the right side of the gable, and I love the colors and style, but not the separated shower and tub.
I see a toilet and a basin with a counter in place of the tub, or even on the side of the shower, take the shower away,
and put a corner shower or shower and simpler styled tub. After all, in my own house, I shall indulge in bubble baths.

Well, this is what occupies my thoughts currently. I'll be scouting for images on the net and in my tumblr (no, I don't have an instagram and though I've considered getting one over and over, I end up not doing it because of the data-sucking they do), but if any of you have ideas, or links to point me to more sources of inspiration regarding gables and interior decoration in gables, I'd love to get them!

Books, Coffee and ChapStick

"Living without Reading
would be living
without Living."

Today I met with three of my dearest friends at a Starbucks for some book-club chatting. It's not a "Book Club" like the traditional ones. You see, it's a group of girls from different countries - okay, mostly four different Latin American countries - who basically chat about books on a closed group on Facebook. Our group is reference-only, so people can't request entrance unless one of the existing members decides to refer that person into the group. that way we all make sure that at least one of us knows the new member personally and can be responsible for them. In the beginning the group was mostly made up of Mexican girls, but as time went by, the Costa Rican share has been growing and growing until now we are the largest part of the group.

Inspite of it, and the fact that we all make a network of friends, trying to meet all together has been impossible. Some of us have met, and have made new friends - personal, real life friends - and have had the most amazing time together. Though I have never met a new friend through these few meetings we have been able to arrange, to my utter delight, I have had the opportunity of introducing some of my friends to other friends, so that now they are friends too. ^_^

Our conversations usually go around many interesting, delightful things. We share experiences about books, tell each other about what we have read and what er  recommend to each other, but also talk about relationships, friends, work, travels and find the most amazing things in common, or the most curious divergencies.

In today's coffee&books, many of the girls who said would attend, didn't make it, but those of us who did had the chance to talk about travels, our experiences shopping in the U.S, (not like I have much to say about that, as my "shopping" while in Salem and Boston was reduced to books, bumperstickers, a cat-ears hat for myself and a Tardis hat for Kate, and a large cup of black and white LEGO bricks for my brother), and then ending up with Andrea also asking to tag along for our October 2016 Salem Trip. Yay! It's going to be fabulous! Must admit though, that I'm worried Carrie would be displease, as I have the feeling that she doesn't like Andrea very much. That would be so sad, because I love Carrie and I definitively love Andrea. Both of them warm my heart quite a lot.

Anyway, we were supposed to go see the new Starbucks that opened at Sabana, but there was a football match in process, so we decided to go to another Starbucks. We all like Starbucks very much ^_^. And no, we don't mind the overcharged coffee when our country produces the best coffee in the world. Personally, I like it because I always order a special. My favorite of all is the Pumpkin Spice, but that's an October specialty. Today I could choose between Gingerbread, some cupcake something and Dark Cherry. Since I already had the gingerbread one, I went for the dark cherry. Loved it!

Among our conversations we talked about someone from our group who pretty much tricked her entrance and who turned out to be the worse possible person to have in the group. She's basically a needy, irresponsible attention whore, who seeks constantly to impose on others, play the victim or flaunt her financial situation in other people's faces. Can't wait to get rid of her. It seems she has earned the dislike of many of us, so maybe it won't be hard to get her out. Boy, why is it that in every great group, at some point some pain in the ass comes to ruin the fun?

Thanks Hyne, though she had said she would come to our meeting, in the end she didn't. At least we had peace and a great time.

Among the things we discussed there was a particular subject Andrea mentioned. She had gone recently to the States where she bought herself a time-turner keychain. She's a Harry Potter fan, an completely identifies herself with Hermione. Thus the time-turner only made sense. She was so happy and so proud of it, that she shared a picture of it on our group. I saw it today, and the real thing is even more beautiful that the picture. Anyway, this annoying attention whore replied to her picture saying that she had several collectibles she had purchased from very exclusive and expensive places, and that we should make a collectible swap. We discussed this odd thing and Andrea mentioned she replied to her telling her that she didn't buy collectibles, only things she could actually put to good use. The idea made me think, because, yes, I also tend to buy things just because they are pretty, and they all end up stashed somewhere, so I thought of taking her advise for myself and start thinking about the actual use I can give to things and use them.

It's difficult sometimes to get past this, because some things are nearly "automatic" in us, but maybe if we pay attention, not only do we save money, but also can afford to concentrate better on making ourselves happy. Happiness isn't in the purchasing of things, but more in the achieving, in the living, in the realizing. Happiness attached to purchase is the happiness by possession of things, not necessarily by the "enjoying" of things. Shouldn't we favor the enjoyment, the living, the experiencing over the possession? After all, the joy, the experience lives forever in the memory and can't be taken away, while the possession can easily be lost.

However, there's another part of this "care to what we buy" thing other than my earlier diatribe on happiness, and that's being observant of what one really need. For instance, now I'm trying to cut my buying food at work and rather carry it from home. Since I'm on a diet, it's much easier to observe the processing of the food and keeping better watch over what and when I eat, rather than suddenly having to decide what do I want to eat, and hope it comes in the right portions. Now, food isn't my only "problem". Evidently, pens and pencils are also, since I have more pens and pencils that what I could use in a life time, but also - and so I found out today - chapsticks. Perhaps you remember that I've this tendency of buying lipsticks, lots of them, even though I don't really use them. About that, recently I had to throw away my whole collection because they were all expired, and I had hardly used them. Of course, this only prompted me to buy more, but those have not been used. What I do use a lot is chapsticks. I don't like it when my lips are dry, skin tensed and painful, so I try to make sure I always have one on me. When I don't, I go crazy and make sure to buy one at the first chance. As result, as I just realized, I end up with a lot of chapsticks rolling around in my bags, in my drawers, pen cases, baskets, boxes... you name it. I love them I use them, they all get used up before they expire, but do I really need to have around... six of them at all times? At least?

This is something in which I must start to control myself.

Baby steps. ^_^

Back to Experimenting with the Chronodex

For this year, unlike in the previous years, I've decided to make my own inserts for my filofax. Well, I actually wanted to make my own inserts last year, but since I had to buy myself a new planner because my first one's clasp ripped, and this new planner came with insterts already, I decided to use what was given, and so left the printing out and planning of the new inserts for this year. As you can imagine, my current planner - a black Identity, Personal Size Filofax - is holding quite well, showing some damage, but still functional, and thus it received the grace of my own design.

Now, I say "my own design" and it might sound something superb, very creative, full of visuals and very personalized. It's not. I mean, not like I could actually do it - I've friends like Tina and Arjen who take all the credit for creative, visually beautiful work, but that's not one of my talents - though I did make some inserts for a friend of mine inspired entirely on Doctor Who and Star Treck. But no, when it comes to planners, I've discovered that what I need is a minimalistic design (and I'm not minimalistic in any other area of my life). The smaller possible letter, the thinner lines, the less possible clutter. I will fill up the pages well enough with all the things I write and stick and stamp into them, I don't need the basic design of the inserts to add more bulk. In a way, that was something I didn't like about the standard Filofax inserts: too many languages, too little space of the weekends, and the Sunday was lost with the corner monthly calendar. Yes, a lot of people rest on Sundays and weekends, but not me. Well, maybe I rest on Sundays (some), but my Saturdays are very busy. From the extra day to go to the gym, my Archery lessons, THE Day to meet with my friends, run errands, check on my P.O.Box, and then Sunday is the official Movie Day when it can't happen any other day, my Mall Day, my Bookstore Day, my Fill The Car's Tank Day, and even my "special diet day" when my nutritionist issues such a rule (because I've been stuffing my face with chocolate and gained weight instead of loosing it? Yeah).

Yes, there are other types of inserts, even even-spaced Wo2P inserts, but why should I go with that when I can make my one in one language and the language I choose? This year I went for Hungarian with some notes in Spanish, and other inserts in English. Yep, that's me and I like it.

Anyway, since I'm trying out my own inserts, getting used to the slightly smaller space for week-days, I decided to try out something I haven't used since 2013: the Chronodex.

I'm still sticking to my own design, though instead of starting my day at 5 a.m., I decided to start it at 4 a.m. since I'm waking up daily at 4.30 (or try) in order to squeeze 30 minutes of exercise at home. I want to make my design into a stamp, so I don't have to hunch over my planner for several minutes drawing the chronodex when I need it. The idea behind it - going back to the chronodex on an on-and-off basis - comes as a way to organize my day when I have several time-bound activities but those require little added detail. Gym appointments, my archery, meeting with my friends, periodical meetings and such. I still make sure to leave space for my "tasks" area of the day, and won't use the chonodex for more complex notations, like when I need to write down an appointment or a task with specific directions, notes on what I'd like to focus on, or even when I need to pen in the address of the place. The chronodex simply doesn't cut it for that, but for other things, it does give me a much cleaner, clearer view of my time. And I like it how it looks.

Anyway, it's an experiment, I've used it before and I know when it works and when it doesn't, so why not give it another try in this new year? Let's make it work.

Getting Ready

I'm a few hours away from starting my new work year. New Work Year at the old place, the company for which I've worked already eleven years. Wow, that feels good. :-) I know that, for some people, spending more than four years at the same company is synonymous of stagnating, being caught, swamped, but I'm from that old school of thinking that values stability, thus a long term job, years invested in the same company are meaningful. You don't want to be a job-hopper, after all, a high-churning-rate worker, someone in whom the employer can't trust because you might take off any time, wasting all the invested time and money of the company in further education. However, be it as it may - and allow me a moment to remind you again how grateful I am that I've a job, and such a good one - I really feel that two weeks off were short. I still want to be on vacation, I still want time to be lazy and stay at home, wake up late and wear comfy clothes. Oh well, I guess I'm only human.

My holidays have been spent quite fruitfully. I didn't go anywhere, as I usually do on my vacations, but rather stayed at home, slept - which is the best and most efficient way of spending any free time, if you ask me - got in touch a little with the more alternative side of my spirituality (yes, I've been dabbling into the Pagan, but in a way that maybe Pagans wouldn't approve, as I call in God), read a some very good books (from my Goodreads 2014 challenge, I've got to read 23 out of the 24 books I intended to read), and also did some cleaning and arranging in my room. That was funny. actually. Did I mention it already? That I dusted the whole room, because I wanted to change my bedclothes, and since I was dusting I rearranged my shelves? Yeah, one small thing becomes a big one.

I also made my monthly budget for 2015 and was quite... surprised at actually how tight my budget is for this coming year. Yep, lots of new expenses I didn't have last year (since I have a new car, Nate), but also due to the savings plan I committed to for this year. Well, I'm happy I can do it, so I'll do my best and try to stick to the plan. I'm trying to take these things more seriously, keep a tighter control on my wallet than what I have shown so far, so I don't face unpleasant surprises. I can tell you that I definitively hated receiving my credit card's balance every month and see it grow just because I always ended up spending my money on other things rather than paying my debt. Well, that was in 2014, and I won't let that happen in 2015. I want to be happy when I check my bank balances, I want to be happy at the end of the year, not horrified because I have to spend my saved up money on paying the results of my uncontrolled spending.

My desk.
After I took the picture I still changed a few things, got a new desk calendar on which I can write, perfect for penpalling.

One other thing I did was tackle my accumulated mail-pile. I'm proud of myself, because I managed to pretty much get back on track with all my letters. I've only four letters to answer, though these are from my chattier friends, so they might take a while. However, I no longer have a pile of unopened letters with accusing date stamps on them staring at me and making me feel guilty. I don't know how many of those penpals are going to still want me as their friend (I know of those who still do, and I'm so grateful for that!), but finally I'm going back to it. To each of them, in the very tone and spirit of our conversation, I explained to them what happened, and then answered their letters according to what I deemed still relevant. Lord, I had letters unanswered since 2013! But I'm reclaiming my life and the things I love to do, and hope this never happens again. or at least not again in the medium run.

2015's First Post

Guess who's back! Well, yeah, obviously me. ^_^ After a couple of hectic years that have gone wild on me, I've decided to reclaim myself in this new year. How's that? Well, I decided not to let myself be absorbed by my job or my studies.

This year I believe I have achieved a lot. 2014 hasn't been easy and I've hit a couple of rough patches, have found out things that have disappointed me on people and situations I never thought I would be disappointed in, but I have not let myself be defeated by them. I've managed to get ahead quite nicely in my studies in accounting, so, if all goes well, this year I'll have my graduation from the B.A. basic degree, and my bachelor's degree in accounting. This year I plan on doing the Graduation Seminar to get my full Grade Degree in accounting.

Last year I was so absorbed in studying, and so wrapped up in my job and the issues around it, that I forgot to tend to the things that are entirely me. As you know, I hardly even blogged, didn't tweet much, didn't check my tumblr often, and left my spirituality loose and wander off a little, rather than keep on exploring, researching and playing with it as I had in the past, but also neglected other hobbies and things I love. I haven't done and List of 13 in a while, and by the end of the year I found myself compulsively needing to knit.

So yesterday, while I waited for the new year to begin, I took pen and paper and wrote down my resolutions, the things I wanted to have in my life in this 2015. Those are:

1. Keep close track of my finances

2. Save money

3. Loose weight

4. Blog at least once a week in English and once a month in Hungarian

5. Get ahead with my accounting degree

6. Explore my spirituality

7. Write and publish five fanfics

8. Read 24 books

9. Get back on track with my penpals

10. Have more time to myself

11. Write more

12. Journal more

13. Be more environmentally conscious

14. Spend more rationally

15. Meditate

16. Observe more, but also be braver, more frank

17. Work on my book of shadows

18. Complete the Scrapbook for mom

Many of the things I have included in my Lists of 13 came to my mind, but I decided not to make them Resolutions on their own, but let them flow inside these 18 Resolutions. Things like spend time in nature, have a picnic, spend a whole day without spending any money, or spend a whole day without making any trash, experience art... these all are things I want back in my life, but not as part of a list, as a little challenge to myself, but as a little escape from the routine. I'll reinstate the List of 13 if I see that I can't integrate them in my life otherwise, but I hope, I really hope, I can find it inside me to do these things, take them back into my life, by a natural flow.

What is your 2015 looking like?