Your Dream Partner

Probably from google.com, but I don't remember

In my German classes we often get these topics that prompt you to talk about, express your opinion and exercise the reach of your vocabulary. Of course, all topics are selected thinking about arming you with words for several possible conversation scenarios you might encounter in real life. One of these topics was "Dream Partner".

This topic came up a couple of times and it got me thinking about the standing that goes behind it. For instance, just because I'm female, I'm supposed to have a male dream partner, while my male classmates are supposed to have female dream partners. If you go online and type "couple" or "dream partner" a vast majority of the pictures you get are of a man-woman couple. Further more, couples were all same-etnicity, similare aged, heterosexual couple depictions. And let's for a moment put aside the fact that most pictures are very Hallmark-like, it's the matter that the very concept of a couple is heterosexual. Our freely available imagery keeps pushing forwards the heterosexual standard, and seemingly ignoring the fact that there are many other possible couple possibilities. Right now, before we go any further, let's clearly estate that I have four rules for any sort of sexual or romantic relationship. These are: 

Human, Live, Legal, Consenting

For a while now I've been making a conscient effort to try and speak in a more inclusive way, which is complicated. Honestly, I'd like to live in a world where people's personal decisions on how they decide to live their lives, who they are and how they perceive themselves are respected by all.

The thing with Dream Partners, is that, on one hand my gender do not define the gender of my partner, but my affinity, my inclination, my orientation, or whatever within me that draws me to one person or the other. It might be also the case that I have an idea of my "dream man" and my "dream woman", because yes, bisexual people aren't confused, aren't going through a phase, they genuinely are capable of loving a person and finding people sexually atractive regardless of what they have between their thighs. Bisexual people don't need to "make a decision", and the people they love have to know that they are not competing with the whole world, but learn to trust the strenght of the love they share.

taken from google.com

A dream partner can actually be someone much older than you, much younger (but of legal age!), or someone from another country, someone with a different skin color, different eye shape, different nose shape, with different political, social or economical views.

Furthermore, you might also be inclined not to have a dream partner, but several dream partners. Yes, multiple relationships are also a thing and should be acceptable. I'm not talking here about cheating, I'm talking here about polyamory, which, yes, these are people with enough space and love in their hearts to love more than one people at the same time, and actually be happy that their loved ones also have such big, generous, giving hearts.

Then there are those of us that even if they identify as straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual... you name it, prefer not to have a relationship. Those of us happy with no dream partners. I'm like this, and I'm certain that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me, simply that I prefer not to be in any sort of relationship. I'm 41 years old and I don't feel the need to have someone by my side. In classes, this exercise was particularly complicated for me, because how was I supposed to say that my dream partner is the one that's not there for breakfast? (Mein Traumpartner, oder meine Traumpartnerin ist bei Frühstück gegangen.) I like sex, I like having fun, I like to laught and I love to talk and share and get deep in people's mind, but I don't like anything that might look like a romantic relationship.

There are also people who don't even like anything related to sex. And no, they are not immature, they won't "get there eventually". They just don't like it. Really, why is it ok not to like drinking or smoking, but it's not "normal" not to like sex? They can be very happy people without ever needing to have sex or have a romantic partner.

For a language class, it's alright to have to topic, and yes, I believe we should also acquire the words to express the wide scope of love. For every other scenario in our lives, change won't happen if we don't start raising awareness about it. If we are willing to accept the wide scope and range through which hate moves, grows and flourishes, why do we condemn those paths from love?

Let love reach everywhere.