Mar 4, 2019

Live and Let Live

One of my "staples" in video consumption has recently become watching people talk about cults, life in cults and their system of believes. I guess it's due to my location and the culture in which I am immersed, but nearly all of this stories pertain people leaving Mormon groups or Jehova Witnesses or the like. Save for the few well publicized people leaving Scientology, most stories come from these more extreme christian groups. 

The last video of this sort that I watched was from a girl who left one of this groups, but started explaining the case with an example, where the church's position was taken by a husband, and the believer taking the position of a wife. She went on talking about how one restricted the other, and to which extremes went the restriction of one over the other. Then she said "but imagine that she (the believer) doesn't realize what's really happening to her and is happy and believes she is happy!". This gave me pause.

The girl doing the video clearly fought to be free from the cult and had to leave her family behind, but as she spoke of the people left behind, how they needed to be saved, I wondered if she had truly left the cult. Why does she need to save those who are actually happy in the cult? Why to try and save those who don't want to be saved because the cult offers them what they have always wanted? This made me think of the childfree movement, and how there is people who can't possibly understand that someone could be happy without children.

Her speech also made me think that this type of attitude - the imperative need to "save" others from themselves and anything we don't like for ourselves - could also be leaking into today's politics and political stances. We are not taking the time to stop and consider that something might be good for others, even if it is not good for us. We are measuring everything based on what would we want and what we like, but not as a matter of consideration for other people's feeling, other people's opinions, other people's right, and also what are really the side effects and what could really be the damage dealt to us.

Coming back to the topic of cults and other such groups (because this sort of behavior isn't exclusive of religious groups), before trying to "save" someone from them (just as we don't like being "saved" by them and their insistence to joing their group), ask them if they are happy, if they are truly happy. If they are, please don't take their happiness away. Respect them as you want to be respected.

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