Life and The Social Question

Property of Stormberry

Remember that year when I was doubting the bullet journal method, but in the middle of it got excited about it and decided to try it, only to try it and decide that it wasn't for me? No? Doesn't ring a bell? Well, it doesn't matter, since I decided since then to give it another go and I've been working with it for... well, I guess I'm entering my second year this year. So far I like it, yes, thanks for asking.

Since then I've been doing my thing and posting pictures of my haphazard spreads in my Instagram account and what-not. :-) I decided to do so not only because I like my pages, but also because the net is full of perfect and artistic #bujo pictures, and thought that it needed a bit of a balance. It's like when you want to check on videos and pictures of other people's journals and most of them look so elaborated, so full of arts and crafts that your plain written-in notebook looks like... well... not even like a passable draft. Are you familiar with that sentiment?

Well, as things go, the creator of the bullet journal, Ryder Carroll wrote recently a blogpost titled "Back to Basics" (yes, the link is in the title, go read it), in which he explains his experience with users - or "practitioners", as he calls them, which makes me smile because it sounds like we are doing witchcraft or alchemy, which in a way it is like it, if you think of witches as people who raise up to be independent, guided by their own vision and willing to be enchanted by the magic that daily surround them - who had lost their mojo. He makes reference to a case where the shared images of a bullet journal "not attracting enough likes" was the cause for the practitioner to drop out of the Coven. Sounds shallow? Well, I advise you to hold your horses before you go on judging.

Though from the outside the decision to drop something because of what others think or the lack of attention it gets, might sound shallow (well, put this way doesn't sound so shallow, right?), this is actually we often do. You see, though we live and move arround things (and situations and social constructions) that seem to have a given use or purpose, we as humans often give things multiple uses or purposes. For instance: a shirt isn't just something we put on to keep away the cold or the sunrays from burning our skin, but also to comply with the social remand that we do not walk around naked. We also give that shirt other uses and purposes, like a symbol of status or pertenence, a way to enhance our appearance or communicate a message to others. Just like so, we give everything multiple uses and purposes. Think, for instance about your breakfast. I'm sure there are things in that breakfast that do more than serve the purpose of feeding you. Something as simple as your coffee could not only be the difference between you being amicable or murderous, but it could also have a statement about you. Maybe the decision on brand or brewing talks about your political, economical, ecological believes.

In that sense, when we take on something that has come to us through social media - or if we take on something that has been hyped up by social media - we might also charge that thing with a social media value, use and purpose. Mr. Carroll doesn't refute that, but also brings to us a point that got me thinking and spinning: when the item - whatever it is - starts failing to fulfill the social media purpose or decreases in value (or becomes a burden), shall we outcast the item entirely? He recommends the practitioners of the bullet journal, that when they bump into an obstacle that takes the joy out of the system, to strip it down and go back to thee barebones and work from there.

Now, I do agree with that idea, but I was thinking about projecting it further, to other parts of life. For instance, if you have a relationship or a family and you've packed up everything about it with a lifestyle, activities and whatnots that crush you, well, you can't actually go back to the bare bones. Just think for a minute: you can't just sell your mortgage crushing house, or give back your kids, and it might not be reasonable to divorce your spouse because... whatever. Not that I wouldn't do that and go for it as the first option (just see my track record), BUT... most people are not like me. (No, I haven't had kids which I had given back... wherever kids are given back to.) However, a good option is to scale back. Just because a part of something has stopped working for you, it doesn't mean the rest have. So how about you cut back on the part that has become troublesome?

Though giving multiple uses, purposes and values to things is natural to us - actually, marketing preys exactly on this to make you buy stuff you don't need - it is also possible that some of those values wear off quicker than others attached to the same item. That's ok, let it. Make the mental exercise of telling that part off, check if other purposes and uses also need to go and, hey, maybe you could find new values! Maybe you could find it that trips with your partner every weekend for some Insta photo-op has stopped being fun and it starts being time and budget consuming as you feel the pressure to find new and fancier locations. Well, no need to leave your partner over that! Instead, find a new subject for your Instagram (coffee, books and cats tend to be the hoot), and find the value of cozy, lazy weekends with your partner (or partners, really), munching cereal, wearing pajamas and crunching through Netflix series.

No need to be unrealistic and ask people to drop social media and the pressure it puts on them. I might be ok with it, but I assume asking people that is like asking me to stop reading: it ensures a hurtful witch cackle-laugher followed by a sardonic "no". However, we can keep things around shifting and accomodating, recognizing that things around us serve many-many purposes. So even if one use or purpose stops being served, all others may still be happily fulfilled. :-)