Blogging has been getting kind of hard for me lately. My head is really dispersed right now (and generally, but now more than usual) as I have (again) million plans in my head and everything seems to be floating up in the air like... space scraps. The most accurate way to write about this would be in the free format a paper journal can give you, with fragments of lines here and there, with no order, and maybe some collaged half pages in between. Alas, I can't afford that on blogger, so let me give you a first idea, a dump of those loose ideas in my head.
Why is it that someone
who is good at his job has to go
and someone who is a
complete, lazy idiot can stay?
Why is nobody here making the needed
connections between what has happened in
France Telecom/Orange and our current
Public Employment Scenario?
There is people out there,
whose lives are so meaningless,
their days so grey, they seek for
adventure through manifacturing troubles.
There is people out there
who rather escape their real problems
by creating a series of inflatable fake ones.
People minding other people's
businesses are unwilling to
face their own.
I'm so uninterested in my Marketing degree.
What settles my mind right now is German. Yes, odd as it sounds, learning and reading German - with all its difficulties, settles my mind. Today I have classes, and I would rather not go. I just... don't feel it. But I'll power through it and I will go, because otherwise I know I won't fare well enough at the next test. I do want to learn, but the classes are taking a toll on my mood.
 |
| Source: Wikipedia |
Curiously, though, I find the Lesenklub very satisfactory and I look forward to each day we meet. My tongue loosens then and I speak freely - mistakes and all. I enjoy the reading (we are currently reading Der Vorleser, by Bernhard Schlink), and I'm always full of ideas. I am thinking really about giving up the lessons and just concentrate on the reading club.
This is a thought I've been playing around with. It does upset me that though I am in an advanced language class, I just don't feel like I know enough. I imagine that it must be a struggle for the teacher to keep us interested in the class, but half way through it my mind is uncooperating and rather amuses itself by thinking up things in French. I just no longer enjoy the classes. Yes, I want to learn, I want to know, I want to gobble up the knowledge, but I am terribly uninspired.
However, this does not happen with the Lesenklub, where I spy the clock wishing the minutes to walk as slow as possible. It's half as long as the class, and it's not nearly enough. I haven't taken a break from German since I've started, and I'm pushing through it for as long as I can, as long as it lasts, but now, it's like shoveling money to something that' not giving me much (or anything) since... a year or so? Things come and go through my mind, but nothing stays.
This is the main issue occupying my thoughts. (That I can talk about here.)
No comments:
Post a Comment