Jun 27, 2008

Cat Ate Your Tongue?

My, my, my. Don't tell me you have been left speechless?

*phonecall*

I guess not. Fuck. Do I need a recorder?

Two hours later.

Oh, so face-to-face is better for you? My... why can't I just tell you in your face to do your own work? Stop pestering me with YOUR stuff. Fuck, have some shame, and do your own things! I know I'm the Mastermind, the Brain, the « THINK » in ThinkPad... but this ain't IBM, it's HP. Really. In its common meanings. My lateste test results somewhat give me hope. Maybe I'm the problem. Maybe you are stupid because I see you as so, not because you are. I wish so hard it's all in my head, so I can take a pill to fix it. It's better to fix my head, that fixing this generalized idiocy.

Went to the company doc, and he refused to give me happy pills. As a matter of fact, he was trying to take away my Clonazepam.

"You shall take Prozac when you feel like crying."

This man is idiot.

"Prozac has no effect on me. " Note to self: remember why I need my Prozac for... "It did, but it doesn't anymore. Clonazepam helps me."
"Clonazepam gets you depressed. You should not take that."
"No, clonazepam and all benzodiazepines make me feel great."
"Those are not for treating depression, but anxiety."
"And I have anxiety. It's right there, in my test results. I'm not depressive, I'm anxious."
"No, no... Clonazepan will make you depressed."
"Doc, if that feeling is what you call depressed, I want to be depressed every day! It's a great feeling! I feel relaxed, cool, no worries!"
"But after that you feel depressed."
"I have never felt depressed after my benzodiazepines."
"You do."
"Doc, who is the one taking those pills?"

Impressive. He wishes to tell me how do I feel? Like he knows? There goes understanding. Fuck. No sicj days either. I've got only an EKG for next week. I feel cheated.

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