I'm again running behind with my proposed schedule. Why on Hell did I ever made this a New Year's Resolution? Truth is one should only post when one wants to and when one has something to post about.
Ok, it's not like I don't have a lot of things to talk about - I can yap all day long, and those who know me personally can attest to that. However, these past weeks have been sort of a drag on me. They have been grinding down my nerves and I just want to... I just want general vacations from everything. I think I want to be retired, without a care in the world. See? Nobody talks about the burdens of being "still young", "still in working age", or more to the point "too young for retirement".
So what has been bearing down on me?
House of Seven Gables
My house is finally being built, which is so awesome and so, so wonderful, BUT. So, there have been some issues with the finances, and not precisely mine. There was a part that my folks were supposed to help me with, which they can't afford now, so I'll have to go great lenghts to get the money from another source (namely, an unplanned loan, that will hack into my plans for the future, regarding buying inane amounts of books - ok, maybe those won't be affected - and traveling).
This has really gotten to my nerves, and so on my parents' nerves. The issue is complicated and can be tracked to a particular couple of someones - who shall remain unnamed - who have been going all happy-go-lucky spending freely the money they didn't have and making changes on the go that cost quite hefty sums. The result? Now my folks and my brother have to start looking for ways to reduce costs in what's still missing (all de details), and I have to see how can I foot the bill for my house.
There are ups in this, like several savings that can be made on my house thanks to some special discounts my dad can get (since he has been buying building material on bulk), and I can also use up a lot of material that was purchased for the other houses but never got used.
The Gods willing, all is going to be ok.
Meanwhile, it does make me so happy to see my little house raise up from the ground, from its foundations and become the house of my dreams, my very own House of Seven Gables.
Marketing Thesis
This topic shouldn't be pressing anymore on me, since I'm really about to finish it. All chapters have been written, the tutor finds everything "perfect", with some details here and there to fix, and I happen to know that I am the only student actually presenting each chapter for revision and grading on time.
Eight of us started the process, only two of us are still in the run (with this tutor), and I'm the only one that seems to have a hope of graduating. So, what's the problem here? That I realized I don't like marketing. It's not my thing and I don't enjoy it at all. Of course, it's a plus for me to know about this, and be able to gauge the proposals marketing experts present me, understand when they go all "technical" on me, but this is not what I want to do by far. Not like I would, I mean, I am an economist, but I have to think like I want to do this for the benefit of the thesis I'm writing and it just fills me with ennui.
When I'm done with this, I think I'll only keep on studying further in Economics. I don't want to strand away from my true path.
German Classes
Ok, this was a headache, but now it's more like a release. My issue with the German lessons was that I wasn't enjoying them anymore, attending them felt like a drag and for a while I've been feeling like I'm not learning a thing. It wasn't because my teachers weren't good enough, because they are amazing, or that the textbooks were boring - they are ok - or because my classmates were obnoxious - they are ok. My problem was that I hate the place where I had to go. It's far, ugly and boring. I had to struggle through around an hour of traffic to get there - oftentimes more - only to arrive to a desolated place, with an awful parking space (ok, at least there was parking space), far from any coffeeshop to make it more pleasant.
Then, when classes were over, I had to drive home for over 45 minutes, to get home past 22 hr, to wake up the next day at 3:45 hr. Not fun. So, as result I was no longer paying attention to class and studied only for the tests. In the end, I was passing the classes but nothing remained in my head.
I like to finish everything I start - therefore I am struggling with stupid Marketing - but this was more that I was willing to keep on doing.
So, after much thinking and mulling about it, I decided not to enroll into the next class. It took me some time, but I finally decided that my need to finish stuff shouldn't go against my better judgement. Why keep paying to get nothing from it? And why should I keep learning more through classes? I don't need a German Language diploma? I need to practice. So I shut the door on that one, and decided to keep up only the German Reading Club, which I enjoy, it's located in my favorite building, at agreeable hours, much more relaxed, and I get to practice with stuff I do like: books.
I still get some discomfort from leaving the class, but at the same time I feel so... liberated. :-) I just need to get fully into this new reality.
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