Sadly, it happens that we have sometimes some conversations, topics or just a general "area" where things get complicated with people we love. This may happen to you often or seldom, or might even be a thing that just appears one, or just in a season or it might be "just that one topic", where those you usually relay on seem to turn against you. A wall comes between you and them and the communications - otherwise warm and fluent - goes up in smoke.
When you have a strong personality, a strong sense of self, a strong sense of purpose or otherwise a very determinated person, this can hit you very hard, particularly if the wall raises up against something you think it's fundamental to you, it's a milestone or a goal of yours.
It can be nearly devastating when you were counting on the support of a person or a group and you feel like they turn against you out of the blue, or just leave you hanging. I think the biggest part of the blow is the fact that you have not expected that sort of reaction from them, and it has left you open and vulnerable. Pain can come also from the particular feeling that you have been betrayed. Things as simple as those cases when someone or a group have been nudging you or encouraging you to do something, start something, engage in something - or leave a situation, change your habits, maybe even fight an addiction or a destructive attitude or activity - and the moment you do so, the same people turn against you or start undermining you. I really hope it doesn't, but does it sound familiar?
For most of my life, I have always felt blessed because the gods have given me the tools to grow myself strong, but also because I've had friends and family that have been mostly supportive or at least not getting intrusive with my choices. Yes, there have been naysayers, as always, but those have been mostly shut down easily, or I could just cut them out of my life.
Now it has come a season when I'm tackling a really big project: building my own house. Since I'm putting money - my hard earned money - into it, I've been quite hands-on regarding the planning and designing of it. It happens that some in my family haven't liked that I decided to do this my own way, and actually getting my own architect (whom I'm paying myself), and having my house designed and planned according to my likes and my vision instead of their rendition of what I'm supposed to be liking.
Now, stop right there. I know exactly what you are thinking: it's my house, my money and I will be the one living in it. Why shouldn't I have it my way? Specially if I'm finding my own architect and paying her fees myself?
I know, I know, I thought of that myself. It does sound logical when I put it like that, and yes, there is more to the story, it's not that simple, but that's beside the point.
Sometimes, people who want you to do something, want you to do it THEIR WAY, and can't possily fathom that you would dare to find a new way to do it. Yes, the pressure can make you doubt yourself, and that is good. Take a moment to take stock of your plan, your actions, your risks and chances. It's ok, sometimes a little of second guessing can be healthy. But if your numbers held up, and you realize it's just a "Their way or the Highway" situation, don't be afraid of standing on your own ground. Be strong. You don't need to fight or justify your choices, because you don't need validation other that your own. So act like it, be strong, and prepare yourself to cut loses if they were to happen.
Sometimes you need to flex in order to stand your own ground and show that you won't be run over.
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