Apr 28, 2012

It's Okay To Be You

From time to time - thanks Hyne not so often - we run into people who pose as something they are not. The funny thing is that there's actually nothing wrong with what they are or who they are, be it conditions, acquintances or so, but for some reason they need to pretend they are someone else. This often happens at work where someone tries to make others believe that they have a much higher position than they really have, or have a position different entirely than the one they do have. Happens also when people lie about their studies, and pretend to have - for instance - as Masters degree in something when they don't even have a flat our college diploma or any level, or haven't even started studies for that career.

I've known one too many cases of these - though I've also known the opposite case too, where people hide their higher diplomas in order to avoid getting too much attention from their coworkers, or awake any ill sense of inferiority from a superior who might feel threatened by a much well versed subalterb. However one thing is to KEEP information for yourself, and another is to cheat people making them believe you know more or have more power of decision than you really have.

There's people also who take this attitude to their personal life - to friends and family - and tell fake stories about how much money they really do, the people they really know, the friends they really have and the things they really like. People who will tell you that they have sucha great job they make this and this amount of money, and out of the blue, without even the question of money being an issue. Or those who would tell you which celebrity or known politician or journalist or famous writer do they know on personal or near personal basis, or even those who tell you know many friends they have, or the kind of friends they have.

Of course, one thing is when in the course of a conversation either of you happen to mention how much or how little they get paid, or that they've just got to meet some celebrity at a seminar (this "celebrity" is not necessarily George Clooney, but it may happen that you are, let's say a lawyer, and you've got invited to a seminar where the Attorney General or the President of the Country spoke, and maybe after you've got to shake his or her hand. For many of us, that's equal to meeting a celebrity, or even more important), or even that either of you realized you have 300 friends on Facebook, and they are all actual friends. Another thing is to insist on these matters, make a show out of them and basically try to validate yourself constantly through your acquintances about these things, whether they are real or not. 

How much you make at your job matters only to you, your employer and the people who economically depend on you. And to the IRS. Nobody really cares so much about who do you know and on what level, because if they are friending you or talking to you, is because they are interested in you. If they are not, well, you are kidding yourself, pretending to have the love or appreciation of people who sees you only as a tool. I have a penpal who told me that she saw a celebrity once and talked to her briefly. It was a blonde actress, but I can't recall which one. I can't remember either which of my penpals was her. Why? Because that's not what matters to me about her! Because I love her and enjoy her letters and love replying to them even if it takes me forever and ever and all eternity. She mentioned the celebrity sighting as a curiosity about herself, but not as her human value.

As for the number of your friends, take five seconds and tell me how many friends you have? Personally, I can't tell you. Hell, I can't even tell you how many penpals I have! Friends (and penpals) are not numbers, they are PEOPLE, wonderful angels sometimes, that God has put in your life to make it sparkle. Friends aren't even tested with pop-quizz questions like "what color are my eyes?" or "what's my middle name", but only time, and the experience can tell you if your friend has been a good friend or a bad friend. A bad friend could know the color of your eyes to perfection, the maiden name of your mom and the time of day you were born, but only a good, real friend feels right, offers you always honesty and loves you sincerely.

If you feel the need to push things or lie about them, something's wrong. If you have to fabricate stories or backgrounds, do something to look more special or anything... please think about what you are doing.

Life is kinda like fishing, in a way: whatever you get depends on the type of bait you use. So think about it.


Sartassa said...

you know, reading the book I mentioned earlier "the girl with no shadow" i found a new mantra, which, in some kind, can appear to be a little weird at first but it definitely helps me to stay myself, to accept who I am and not to try to become a person I would like to be rather than myself.
"Fuck off, I'm fabulous!" yeah... as I said, it's weird...
however, this is more about not accepting yourself, than lying to impress others.

Storm Bunny said...

Not weird at all! It's a very good phrase! I must read that book now... ^_^