Checking a little over my last entry, damned, it sounds like I still want to fuck Jules. So it makes me think: Do I still want to fuck Jules? I make a mega effort to keep myself honest, since, really, "honesty" and I are a repelent-mix. Fuck, I'm a "crab", I have a hard time going ahead unless it is for a frontal attack, which I don't do often. (This wasn't my main topic of the day, by the way. The title was meant for something else...)
So do I?
Truth to be told, me being a man in a woman's body (namely a gay man in a woman's body), I'm so into sex that damned, I would pretty much fuck anything nice and fuckable... within standards. If it gives me the hots, I'll land it. That sounds like I'm a whore or something, but I don't see myself that way. I just don't waste my time skirting around the topic and beating around the bushes. I get bored fast, so I better fuck the dude right when I'm interested. Why would I wait? So that the guy thinks that I'm "interested in something else" and starts considering a "relationship"? Fuck no!!! Like that ain't the point, dude! Perhapst that's why I prefer random encounters with men who I will probably never see again. Okay, sometime that sucks because, really, some guys are SMOKING HOT and MINDBLOWING GOOD and real gods among men, but that's the way it is. It's better a good memory and the desire to repeat it than a relationship gone sour where you can't even remember those times when sex and conversation was out of this world.
Achieve this level of balanced no-strings-attached-sex with friends is usually complicated, since you see your friend often, and guys may take it the bad way when you only want to fuck without paying for it with castration (monogamy) and other commitments and stupidities as a "higher level friendship with priorities". Or otherwise, a "VIP Friendship". Dude, a fuck is a fuck. Good or great, really, sex is sex, so leave it like that! Enjoy it! It's like eating: just because we ate together or we cooked for each other once or ocasionally, it doesn't mean I'll only eat with you or cook for you. Geez... I have a few friends with whom I occasionally sleep, and I love them to death because, really, they don't care that I score randomly, and they also score randomly and we talk about the people we get, and it's cool.
I do tell Jules every single detail of my sexcapades, (save the juicy parts like: "... and as we hit the bed, he reached down on me and rubbed me up so good he had to put a pillow on my face or the police would have come knocking down the door... and then he did this thing, like he held me down by the neck, and stilled his hip so I would fuck myself on his cock. Really... great.") but would that be the same if I would land him? Honestly, after the higher quality of my last influx of men, there's nothing in Jules that could arouse me. Do not misunderstand me, I love him to madness and I feel a deep tenderness for him. I would do anything in my power to make him happy, honest, but... he doesn't have what it takes to make me wanna rape his ass. (Not like I have raped anyone in my life.) His eyes are not green or blue or grey, nor expressive and big enough to hold be breathless. His physique is not as shapely as I like them, and he lacks that certain flirty, "malin" attitude I love in man. He's too much of a gentleman to be the hot, self-assured, cocky, mischievous conqueror that can sweep me off my feet. Someone a bit more "up to the moment", with an easier smile and less troubles to bring into a quick rumble. Someone who can stick is dick into something without falling in love into it and wishing for a long relationship. Perhaps the problem is also that we have too much history to just go bed-hopping. Not like I couldn't, fuck, I could break a few beds with him and then continue all happy-go-lucky as if nothing would have happened. If he works me, most likely he can get me in bed, but... he has the same chance anyone I have ever considered as a potential "fuck" for "lean times". Not like that's an extensive list. But then, why would I eat chicken when I can have lamb? Or deer? Or the best dish of France? (hehehehehe...) The problem is that he wouldn't be any special. He would be just another "fuck" in my book. Another notch in my bedpost. Can I give him more than a notch? Truth to be told? No. Only what I give him now. I couldn't certainly offer him a relationship other than friendship. Does he want that? I believe not.
Then again, he doesn't want to fuck me because he's not into me. Odd, but yeah. Not every mortal worships the same god or goddess. I don't have what he wants. So, we are even. Yeah, friendship is our thing.
Kate obviously like chicken and she wants her "chicken". Hey, I like finer meats, so she can have her chicken, have it at home and have her daily influx of chicken. I'm more the hunter, so I walk the woods and look around for that delicatessen that would make the envy of everybody else raise like fever.
As a matter of fact, the prey seems to follow me. I hooked another flight attendant. It was the Taca's Flight Attendant Officer, Mauricio Montoya. Too bad I'm not really into him, but he engrosses my list of "food for the leaner times". He does have a coworker, some Erick or something like that that does look like calf, and calf is good. (He's latin, so he will never raise to lamb or deer, since I have a distinctive preference towards Europeans...) It seem that hooking up people up in the air is far easier than one would think. And actually, I hooked up a complete stranger in Paris, right off the Rue Maubeuge. This is what I have in me: this capacity to hook up with men, in situation other would only dare to imagine or would think possible only in porn movies. I'm gifted! Fuck, I'm hot.
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