Oct 23, 2008

... why again...

Why is this happening and why is it happening now?

It's totally driving me crazy.

It actually started yesterday, but today it has been going on and on, and I can't turn it off. He's in my thoughts, in my prayers, in my mind, on my lips, in my soul. My heart feels again like bleeding, and my memory keeps evoking the few snapshots I have from him. His words, his eyes, his smile, his hair, his beard-goes-goatee-goes- "you should just shave those cat wisks off". A part of my mind, quite rude that bitch, sneers and says:

"You know, you like Shia LaBeouf because he looks a lot like him."

If that part of my mind had a physical body, I'd love to throw a book, a mug or something solid at it and have it shut up.


I don't get it. I really don't. Why can't I simply like someone ... "normal". And someone who fits better my normal type? You know, clear eyes, fair, hair long enough for me to grab it and play with it... basically, someone looking more... "pretty". Then again, as my cell goes to "rest", I realize that my "type" has changed, and it has changed before Stan, Faux V or Shia. It changed pretty much a year ago with some magazines in French and a very, very nice ass.


Yep, my type of man has definitively changed. This is my type now.

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