I Love Halloween

First of all, Happy Halloween to all my dear Witchy Friends out there! ^_^ May you all have a bewitching day, and get lots of candy and tricks. ^_~. I can already see the image in my head, of a funny gay situation:

"Treat of Trick!"

Answer No.1: "I take the trick."
Answer No. 2: "Ain't the same?"
Answer No. 3: "How about I treat the trick."
Answer No. 4: "Show me the trick and maybe I'll treat it."
Answer No.5: "I'm the trick."

Up to a few years, Halloween wasn't part of the Costa Rican traditions. I still remember when I was little that the kids of one family dressed up and ran up and down the streets screaming "Halloween! Halloween!" from the top of their lungs. There was no point in knocking doors and asking for treat-or-trick because nobody celebrated this festivity. The parents of these kids were with them and smiled, and we all thought that they had no shame. My mother frowned her nose at them and my father labeled them as "brainwashed by the yankees and making fools of themselves, as the yankees wanted them to". Well, okay, my dad has never thought anything nice of Americans and was convinced that Sesame Street and the Muppets were shows designed to program the minds of young kids to become their system's slaves.

Anyway, today only in a few neighbourhoods and in a few houses, kids can go asking for candy, but Halloween has been taken up mostly for partying. Pretty much all discos and bars are sold out, or charge insanely high entrance fares to partake in a costume-party.

Another thing I've always found wicked is that we have heard that some people in the U.S. go to work in costume. Yesterday he was Mr. Barry, but today, in Halloween, he's a Pirate (hopefully not in Somalia, Boosaase). Back then it was something unheard of, and just another think to pin on the "have-no-brain" yankees. Then, the call centers come, hire loads of young flesh into no-future positions, allienate them from their own environment... and they have Halloween with costumes worn at the office. Cowboys, ninjas, Sailor Moons and all sorts of... sorts, parade around in cubicles where normal-LOOKING people sat the day before, with headsets under their hats or carefully over tiaras, haloes, wigs, horns, antennas and other contraptions, while answering:

"Thank you for calling HP's Solution Center, how can I be of your assistance?"

If people could see them, they would scream:

"Holy Fuck! A black eyed, sexy leprechaun with Mexican accent wants to fix my computer, which I just hooked to the TV (instead of the monitor), broke the cup holder (CD Unit), or won't start even if I can see the plug because I'm holding it in my hand!"

So yes, we don't celebrate it.

Anyway, each year I send an SMS to all my girlfriends with a "Greetings on your day, Witch!", which I always get answered with laugher or a "Greetings to you too, Witch!". Today, has not been any different. I enjoyed sending the messages and then picking e-Cards on Hallmark for my friends and sending them all over the globe.

There are other things I love of Halloween, and particularly about the fantastic trio of these three days: Halloween, All Saints' Day (Samhaim) and the Day of the Dead. These days, probably due to my predisposition, I tend to be far more creative. The best of my poetry comes to me in these days, or around these days (though I forcefully defend my "title" as a prose writer, which I am, for I'm a very poor poetry writer, truth to be told), and so the plots for my stories, the solutions to knotted up stories and scenes just flow to me. They all, though, have kind of a "gothic" feeling to them, and they are stronger at night, but yet they make me feel better.

Today I feel like reading Ann Radcliffe... which can't be found in this Gaia forgotten land. Hn, and then people at my favotire bookstore ask why I don't buy more: because I can't find any other decent book to buy! I pretty much sniff up every good book I see, and some not so good, but please, please, I'd be happy to buy more if you'd just listen to me and bring the books I want to buy! And keep the influx of French books coming!

I tell you, Amazon.com is their death. There I find many of the books I like...

Change of Thought by Association. I dream with the day my favorite bookstore, which I visit at least once a week, will be in Hungary. With the thesis going on that day seems so close! I'm really, really burning for going there and live there... probably with no Halloween, even if the feeling and the flood of inspiration keeps coming to me, and whispering the most interesting stories and the words for verses filled with gloom.

Amazing

In today's news in Le Figaro, I read that the Immigration Bureau (actually, it's the whole shebang, ministry and all), have decided to make the knowledge of French and French culture a requirement to opt for the visa. Immigration, you mind, not tourism. The idea is that people who wish to go live in France already possess a certain degree of knowledge about the language and the customs, so immigrants have an easier time adjusting to the community. Then again, it's not like you have to have the C2 to apply for the visa, but you have to have a minimal level of French and knowledge of France and the French culture in order to apply. In all honesty, I find the idea great, and I think all countries should apply it. (It doesn't apply to people over 65 or under 16, nor to people escaping from countries in war or from natural catastrophes.)

I dunno how it is in your country, but in my countries (both Costa Rica and particularly Hungary) there are many immigrants who don't care about integrating into the community or interacting with it in any productive or positive way. People who live for years without learning to speak the language, and though it is already outrageous when someone spends ten years in Hungary without learning a single word in Hungarian, it is far worse when someone spends fifteen years in Costa Rica and never learns Spanish because that's "the language of the beaners and Indians". People who don't learn the language, nor learn the treats of the culture they are immigrating into, are prone to form tight groups which do not help them integrate, but feed the separation, and ultimately that can bring trouble for the group and for the society they are immersed. Now, I'm not saying that if you go to Frace, you must kiss good-bye your heritage, your language, your culture and all that that gives you a "national" identity, so to say, but you must bear in mind that you ARE going to live to another country, which you have chosen, probably, and not the other way around, so you better start doing the adjusting and making the commitments, because a whole country won't change to fit to your liking.

Now, if you can't or you don't like it, stay in your own country. If you simply refuse to give up your culture and customs and the whole deal, dude, stay in your own country. Or move to a deserted island.

What surprised me in the article was that there was this guy, Gaye Petek of the Elélé Association, that complained against the measure because it made the immigration very difficult. Dude, really, if it is so difficult for you to learn some French, why the hell do you want to go to France? First of all, French ain't difficult. Actually no language is difficult, it's just a matter of adjusting your language-thinking process, and once you get the hang of it, it's a piece of cake. Second, you are bound to learn it sooner than later, so why the resisting? And finally, when it comes to work, because one must assume that if you with to immigrate to a country, you wish to work there too, and for everyday things, you do need the local language. Understand the media, get services and products, understand lables at the store, prepare a C.V. for a job, and the motivation letter (it's so funny, because in Costa Rica, there's no such thing as a motivation letter, so when we have to write one, we just stare and the paper wishing to write: Hello! Smile! Be Happy! Hire Me! You are Awesome!), interact with coworkers, understand the public transportation and the laws... for all of these you need to know the language, and yes, learning it before hand easies your chances.

This year is the first time I'm going to a place where I do not speak the local language, not even on the most basic level. Yes, the world wide famous trip to Bulgaria (to which my husband refused to go with me, by disappearing for ages from the MSN, thank you. Sorry honey, now I'll score Bulgarian Hotties and have loads of fun. ^_^). In case you wonder, I'm hurrying to pick up some phrases and so... just like I should be working on my German to prep it up, so I don't have to rely time and again on God to illuminated me with his infinite wisdom so I can understand and form phrases I can't actually say, but which I'm able to mutter once I've spent a few hours in Vienna. It's not my intention to say a blasphemy, and I beg forgiveness if I do, but really, my German is pretty much a sort of miracle. I would really believe that I get to speak in Tongues, because I really don't know as much German as I manage to squeeze there. Funny thing is, this topic makes me remember my ex-fiancé, and how he would bet his head and swore and was 100% sure that he would speak in Tongues (which I believe he neves did) and yet so far... I seem to on regular basis. ^_^ No pun, no blasphemy intended, just mere comparing and remembering!

So anyway, the point is that when you arrive to a new country, it feels good to be able to communicate with the people. I can't tell you how beautiful and easy my life is when I can go to any store in Paris, any little restaurant or stop someone on the street and be able to ask them a question. A lot of people say the French are mean, but they are not. The lady at this bakery near the Opera smiled at me and was patient while I picked the sandwich I wanted, and gently explained to me which is the difference between the kinds and wven went back to explain one fo them because my memory is really poor. All policemen have always been nice and patient, and a man at the Gare du Nord actually WALKED ME to the corner to show me which is the Rue Maubeuge, since streets and maps in Paris have little resemblance to each other.

Vienna was even more of a blessing, because, like I have so colourfully stated it, I do not speak German, only a very, very little. Then again, God is merciful to me and has made Austria a country full of lovely, gentle people who undestand that there are a few people, like me, who have difficulties learning their language (lack to determination to actually follow through it decently, even though every January I decide to spend the year learning German, and in November I realize I have 6 week and have done nothing of it!), and are patient and help a lot. Yet so, I make a point out of not speaking English in Vienna, and again, it feels good to be able to exchange some simple phrases with the cleaning ladies of the hotel, buy a "semmel" (a small bread of round shape... like a bagel without the whole and made out of "regular bread" doug... well, a bit lighter, maybe. Anyway, I love them!) at the U3 store, order food from the menu, understand the tags and prices at the stores... And that's for someone who is staying over night or only three days tops!

One could go can care less, because one goes as a tourist and that's that, why would I learn their language-ain't like I'm using it again/that much, and all that, which is wrong, but let's not go there. However, when you are MOVING into another country, TO LIVE, don't you want to be able to be at ease, the more you can? You already have to learn the new public transportation system, the schedules, the streets, the customs, traffic, currency, the bills you have to pay (in Costa Rica there's no winter-winter, and so no house has heating, so we don't pay heating bill. There's no gas outlet either. If you want to cook with gas, you have to buy the gas tanks, and for that there's a whole system known only to the "initiated". We have a gas oven and the water heats up with gas, but I still don't really get how the gas tanks get home, or where should I go to buy them.), the social obligations, the healthcare system, police... why add to it the impediment of not being able to communicate in order to learn them easier?

I would tell you one mean thing that comes to my mind about why: because there are stablished groups that want people to feel defenseless and dependant of their guidance. The Community seeks for a good job for you with one of our own. The Community has all the people in the system that will help you... Don't worry, the Community got your back, but you've got the Community's back too.

This breeds separation. These breeds the underground "apartheid" that reached beyond race and feeds on xenophobia.

Karma

Maybe I do deserve my boss. I'm such a control freak, I've such high quality standards and such little tolerance towards mediocrity, that have this compelling need to do things right. And so, when someone does something poorly or wrong, I need to point out the problems, and just like my mother, tell them what to do. So it happened with this Quality Team. I proposed the schedule... a part of it, and a presentation with goals, tasks and requirements.

"Why don't you do the 'motivation'? I'd like you to do that and also a little introduction about the group."

O_O

There's a word for me in Costa Rica: SAPA!!!

"Well, I have no idea what the group is about. I believe you should work on that. You requested the group, so you should know better what's for."

...

He has no idea.

"Well, I've no idea. I'm basing this on the ISGA, and so I work over that frame, and so far this is all I've got. I definitively CAN'T do the introduction and motivation... because I've no clear view yet."

And then comes the Proverbial Answer and Observation of His Wiseness:

"You always have objections. You have always more objections than anything else."

I can't believe his nerve!! I just did something I didn't have to, far before schedule (his schedule, not mine, you mind), outlined the agenda for the first three meetings of the team and scheduled the tasks... and when I'm stopping because, really, the rest ain't my job, I am the one with "more objections than anything"? Oh, that's priceless.

Then again, why do I give in to my own impulses and start making HIS JOB in the first place?

Patience, patience... we need to be in his good side for the thesis time, the vacations and the juicy promotion... I gara shoulder it... for now.

Aesthetic, Really

It's not that I'm negative or anything, but the idea of the Ericsson Tower Tube being "aesthetical" and making people happy for having one in their community... Sure, it looks like some kind of Ritzenhoff flower vase... without the flowers. Allegedly it will fit urban and rural environments. Really. Oh, and they come in different colors. Truth to be told, they look to me like big chimneys, which they are, which are said to "ugly up" the scenary in many industrial places. I find some rather lovely, truth to be told, but only because I've seen them in Hungary and that's excuse enough for me to like them and love them. Then again, given the function they have to have and the inconveniences with the existing towers, which are prone to damage and theft, I'd say this is a nice improvement. But really, who will love something like this in their neighbouthood just for the way it looks? France would be positivelly offended if they've tried to replace the Eiffel Tower by one of these Sandell Towers. The only people that could be happy, I believe, where, maybe a gay community, if you get them one of these towers, cock-shaped, painted in the gay flag colors and with a big sign that would say: "DARE TO DREAM BIG".

Now, if I were an operator, with enough money, I do would install these towers, and make a hell of a publicity to my clients about them: environmental, less polution, easier on the eye, and give away cell-phone pendants with the different forms, sell small models, vases shaped as the towers, penholders with a pen... shaped as the ETT (Ericsson Tower Tube), and make them an icon, until people are totally identified with the towers and love them and think they are the greatest think in town, and celebrities would make a line to held a concert or a photoshooting with them.

But then again, that's that *I* would do, and really, what the fuck do I know about merchandising and selling image, right? Silly, little economist. I should stick to my numbers.

On the Wait

"Will we have 'white smoke'?"

The question caught me by surprise as well. What? What white smoke? My boss was staring at Kolja. I wondered if he thought I was still bitching about him being an HP, not like I wouldn't rather have a ThinkPad, but let's be honest, that's impossible, so an HP it is, deal with it, and I have.

"You do know what 'white smoke' is, right?"

I was five seconds away from answering one of the following:

"Of course! It's the filling of your skull!"
"I do. I'm just trying to figure out whether you ACTUALLY know what is it, or if you think it's some kind of 'eco-friendly' emission from a car."
"Do you?"
"No. I'm stuck on the Purple Haze."

Really. Well, he was asking about this project I call ISGA for myself, of which my boss knows that it "exists", but it has such a fancy name (International Standard General Analysis), he can't remember it. Well, we talked about it, and we went into a conversation of which I was left out in less than five minutes as my boss inhaled the toxic emissions of his own mind and drifted away in a cloud of examples and idea liaisons only he is able to follow. You know, the typical case of someone used to never being heard, that starts talking to himself until it forgets that PEOPLE DO NOT READ MINDS and so, in order to liaisons to be stablished they have to be exposed. So he drifted away merrily on his ... well, I wasn't even paying attention, particularly when he tried to give me a lesson on the relationship between quality and rentability, and I had to bite my tongue before asking him my trademark question: "Did you studied economics? No. Well, I did, so shut up, I know, you don't." I wonder if he actually think he's right and if he does believe he has something to teach me in my own area of expertise. BTW, his speech was eerily in the line of that annoying little man who tried to prove the relationship between Client Management and Profit thought correlation (or the lack of it) of financial indexes with the financial profit.

Question: is stupidity an obligatory requirement for chiefmanship?

It's just a question.

Oh yes, and btw, he's anti-semite. I have several friends who are antisemite, so it doesn't particularly upset me. In my eyes, people has the same right to hate, than the right they have to love. We are human, after all, and hate is a vital part of who we are. Anyway, today, after the mind drifting and trying to get a deadline from me (which I won't be as stupid as to give him, given the things that has happened before with deadlines), somehow things came to banks and stuff... and he was saying that all that was due to the Jews and that "some of that gas wasn't wasted".

I just comment, I don't judge.

I was talking to my friend Hans yesterday, commenting on common acquintances, people who is a royal pain in the ass and so, and at one point, I considered opening a Hi5 account to add him. He has no Facebook. Then I started thinking about it. The Hi5 is a youngster social network for the Seventeen and High School Musical minded ones. It's okay for the teens and the late teens, but for a "going 40" like me it's a bit ridiculous to get on it. What possible business do I have there? Linger with a bunch of kids? So the FB it is... which I still have to clean and trim and debug a little more. I still have 33 "friends" and they are not "my friends", they are not my "court", my "Community of the Chosen Ones", so I have to go over The List again and keep plucking out all of those that are not related to me. Hopefully I'll end up with 15 contacts max. Yes, unlike the trend, I like to keep my friend list very, very short.

I have another account, which I've got through great pains, which is the elusive iwiw, a Hungarian social website into which you have to be invited. My contacts are only 6. A nice number. ^_^ I hope I can keep it... or even lower it! The less contacts you have socially, the better. One thing is to have political contacts or career contacts, and there the more the merrier, but socially? No. For me the term "social butterfly" goes more on the line of "social whore", and social websites are full of these whores. Disgusting, don't you think? I rather keep the exclusivity, so I can also take better care of my beloved chosen ones.

I guess I'll be pulling out other social websites, such as barátikör and habostorta. But what about Hans? Well, I'll keep visiting him, calling him and chatting with him. So with Vic, whom I love and adore and with whom we laughed our heads off watching Jensen Ackles do the "Eyes of the Tiger" thing by the end of last weeks episode. Hahahahahahaha! Dude, that was hilarious! And BTW, Baby has LEGS! Both Vic and I were drooling like dogs when he grabbed his leg to play guitar on it.

On a side note: Hitting Bottom. Dude, some people have no dignity, and I believe they actually don't even know the word, or have never been introduced to it. There was this "mean sentence" I learned for French once which apply to this person: "The Reality and You don't get along well, right?" Well, sometimes lack of touch with reality (maybe he thinks "Reality" is a woman, and so he wouldn't be caught near her) provokes lack of dignity as well. And actually, how can you have dignity when you possess absolutely no sense of reality? What would be your referential point to have dignity?

I was showed the most pathetic letter ever written, and I would like to state the following: I have received letters and e-mails by Marie-Joséphine in a whining tone about "life is no life without you, and if you are no longer in my life, I may as well die". (Telling something like that to me earns a nice smile from me with a sweet wish: "may you succeed in all your projects ahead".) Anyway, the pleading note was filled with "I've told the girl repeatedly to invite you to my house", "I can't stand how you put 'anything' in the place I used to have" and "I regret not valueing the love and care you showed towards me". A lot of "please, please, be part of my life again, and make a part of yours", and "be part of my court of followers". Okay, REALITY CHECK: he has sent a lot of emissaries to Hans to ask him to talk to him. Hans has refused everyone of them, including me, and he loves me. REALITY CHECK: Hans has refused his pleading personally. REALITY CHECK: Hans has refused his many attempts through e-mail Hi5 and others.

So he fucked it up big time, and tried to apologize. No, wait. He fucked it, he apologized and Hans forgave him. He fucked it up again, he apologized and Hans forgave him again. He fucked it up AGAIN, he apologized and Hans forgave him AGAIN. He... (times n)... Well this time around Hans got fed up, read into the pattern and decided this wasn't going to change. So he wants him out of his life. The leech doesn't want to go. Man, how low self esteem and how little common sense one has to have to keep on going at it.

I mean, I have fucked it up pretty bad with people. Sometimes I leave it like that, go with the flow and let the contact go lost. It's a "like I care" and "go die where I won't smell the stench of your rotting carcass". Then, some I think "Okay, maybe XY is a nice person, let's try to fix it", and I go and offer to fix it. ONCE. I GO, I don't send emissaries like some cowards, spineless little shit, but I face my mess and go shovel in hand ready to clean it. If it doesn't work, then I just shrug my shoulders and "at least I tried" and I move on. If it works, dude, I try to be careful the next time around, and if I fuck it up again the second time, I just don't come back.

But then again, I define myself, I measure and value myself. I don't need other people to tell me what's my worth, and if they don't agree with the value I give to myself, that's much THEIR problem, not mine. My opinion is the only one that matters to me. However, not everybody is like that. Some people, like Mr. Maggot needs to be valued by everybody, and he actually needs desperately to be valued an AAA+ even though, truth to be told, he's worse than a subprime.

My valuation of him should not affect him, though I know it does and it can send him spiraling into the deepest pits of depression his pitiful self is capable of, and so Hans' valuation. However what he should, really take in consideration under threat of losing the respect of everybody around him, is that if Hans thinks poorly of him, and has repeatedly rejected him, then he's not welcomed, he's only generating more and more negative feelings and it could blast on his face.

Okay, he choses to live without dignity. Fine. But why can't he keep his disgusting self away from us, decent, self-loving people?

You go figure

My boss is anti-semite.

Reality Check

I rest my case.

Fuck.

... why again...

Why is this happening and why is it happening now?

It's totally driving me crazy.

It actually started yesterday, but today it has been going on and on, and I can't turn it off. He's in my thoughts, in my prayers, in my mind, on my lips, in my soul. My heart feels again like bleeding, and my memory keeps evoking the few snapshots I have from him. His words, his eyes, his smile, his hair, his beard-goes-goatee-goes- "you should just shave those cat wisks off". A part of my mind, quite rude that bitch, sneers and says:

"You know, you like Shia LaBeouf because he looks a lot like him."

If that part of my mind had a physical body, I'd love to throw a book, a mug or something solid at it and have it shut up.


I don't get it. I really don't. Why can't I simply like someone ... "normal". And someone who fits better my normal type? You know, clear eyes, fair, hair long enough for me to grab it and play with it... basically, someone looking more... "pretty". Then again, as my cell goes to "rest", I realize that my "type" has changed, and it has changed before Stan, Faux V or Shia. It changed pretty much a year ago with some magazines in French and a very, very nice ass.


Yep, my type of man has definitively changed. This is my type now.

What Costa Rica is Today Really About

If you live outside of Costa Rica, the country itself sounds like Paradise. Vulcans, rain forest, Pacific Ocean to the West, Caribbean Sea to the East, loads of flora and fauna and warm people. Well, let me give you a tiny reality check:

Warm People: Sure. Violence and crime. Poverty. Corruption. Misery. The President has been twisting arms and buying elections. He made sure the so-called Referendum to approve the CAFTA favored him. He made sure no publicity of the "NO" got through the media, and made sure nothing happened to Kevin Casas and Fernando Arias, who put together the infamous "Fear Memorandum". I include a link there, but if you can't read Spanish, let me tell you about the main element of this memo. It's the 2nd point, which translates to:

"2. Estimulate Fear. There are four types of fear:
i. Fear to lose the job (...)
ii. Fear of the attack to the democratic institutions (...)
iii. Fear of the foreign influences of the NO (...)
iv. Fear of the effect on the Government of the NO (...)"

Funny, all those where followed. Would like to know something? People in the maquiladoras and foreing enterprises were said that they would be fired if they voted NO. Some enterprises requiered their employes to take a picture of their vote with their cellphones' camera. The Government SHAMELESSLY funded the campaing of the YES. The Presindent himself, who should remain neutral, took ever possible chance to campaing for the YES.

Now please take a look at this picture of the concentration of the NO. Well, part, because cameras can't really take the full lenght of this concentration. This was a concentration of people concerned, nobody was pushed, nobody was bought. I know what was it like, because I was there. The YES flew airplains over it with banners, perhaps hoping to get a revolt and be able of labeling the NO as a bunch of hooligans. However people took it with humor and soon many guys jumped on the roofs with giant Oscar Arias heads and made a parody. The day before the vote a campaing-truce was declared, which the YES broke, and yet wasn't punished. And even so, with all this, lots of ballots were destroyed and the numbers modified to favor the YES.

The President and his brother, the Prime Minister (which is a clear violation to the Costa Rican Political Constitution) dished out $2 million in "counseling services" with no public control, since it was "donation money that doesn't need to be justified or cntrolled". Well, last time I checked, all Public Employe must be subject of control, all our expenses are PUBLIC and subject to control (save what we do with our declared salary), and we get no PRIVATE MONEY. Receiving private funds is ilegal. It's corruption. So, if the money is private, it's corruption, if it is not, then he must declare and justify it's expenses... and it also means that he has to justify the expense and show that he got it on the lowest possible price. After this, he declared he felt insulted because people were asking him about that money, and he has always been "transparent". Well, yeah... he makes no effort to hide all the corruption going on.

The Housing Minister took $1,5 million and spent it on "counseling". That money was donated by the Taiwan Government to build 150 houses for the poor. Just one question: IF he works at the Housing Ministery, why do they need counseling to plan and build houses? Shouldn't they have people who does that in the Ministry? What all those employes do? File their nails?

There are at least two "Peace" programs going on. One is to stop violence on the streets. Well, crime has just grown exponentially. People being kidnapped and made take all their money out of their cards, "instant kidnaps" where someone is held hostage for 24 hours and made the family pay the ransom, as well as cars that prey on women on broad daylight, pull them into cars to rape and kill them. Today in the news there was this reportage of a kinder garden kid taking a gun to class. You think Colombia is dangerous? Today Colombian authorities said all the "capos" fly to take refuge in Costa Rica. Well, one fo our Security Minister was removed of his charge after he let out that the President's campaing was financed with narco-money.

There's this North-west province, Guanacaste. Really pretty and really poor. Some Megaprojects installed there. People where happy because they thought they'll have more jobs. Well, the projects are poorly designed. A community, Sardinal, is being FLOOD with SHIT, and I do mean shit, human fecesm from one of the megaprojects. Does anyone does anything? No. Bunch of paupers and "indians". They get sick and living there is nearly impossible, but the Government does nothing.

Rain Forest, Flora and Fauna. Recently the President allowed to exterminate 262 ha.s of forest to make a mine. A private mining project. In the middle of an INTERNATIONALLY PROTECTED area. Ecologists argue that the Constitution's 50th article says that the Government should protect the proper living environment, as well as the environment in general. If it applies to plants and animals, to the forest, do you think we could apply it to that "bunch of paupers and indians" in Sardinal, so they don't have to live drowned in foreing crap?

As a Costa Rican, and fuck, you know I don't call myself that often, but please, do not come here to vacation. Spend your money somewhere else. Please do not let these pigs pull more profit out of the poor. Do not condone their coruption. And if you don't care for the people and the country, and all you want to do is spend a good time, well, then think about how fun is to be raped, kidnapped, killed and robbed out of everything you have. Oh, and there's a global recession out there, so I don't really think you could "lose" some cash and some blood in here.

If you intend to invest, onyl consider that the USD here is being artificially kept up, but the country doesn't really have what it takes to keep it that way for long. I tell you, this is being kept up until "certain stocks" manage to get to be located safely elsewhere. So, think twice.

Shia, Shia, Shia

I rented Disturbia yesterday. Yes, it's a typical "Rear Window" kind of plot with a "dramatic twist" that's really hard to believe. When the movie came out I wasn't going to be caught DEAD watching it, since, really, it sounded to MENTAL, but now I have decided to give it a shot for one reason and one reason only: Shia. Well, he does look lovely, I must say. The plot is... bad. First: kid loses his dad in a car accident. But what an accident! Ain't your Alstate kind of advertisting accident, but a vicious kind of accident, which you pretty much see at the end of the movies as the finishing touch of a car chase. (Good thing they did a better and more believable job in Eagle Eye.) Second: boo-hoo, the poor kid becomes a bad student because he's still mourning his father and it's a touchy issue... yadda-yadda-yadda... can't you really come up with something more "original" and less "movie pre-aproved formula, tested on millions of viewers! Get it NOW!"? I mean...

"Problems finding a plot for a multimillion movie? No ideas whatsoever? Would like to catch your audience and make it believable? Well, here's your solution! Every moviemaker's and screenplay writer's dream! All the movie formulas you've ever wanted to create emotion, excitement, believable plots and drama, as well as comedy into a 90 minute feature! Don't sweat it, buy it! Hitchcock style, Coppola style, Allen style, Polansky style... chick-flick, action-movie, summer blockbuster... all the masters and all the fashionable styles proven to land you an award or two. Call Now!"

Well, "Disturbia" took a classic, shaved it to it's basic blocks and rebuilt it entirely with formula's. The distressed teen, the hot girl next door who swims in skimpy bikinies every day... and what to do with the "home restriction"? Oh, that was brilliant. Though they could have gone for the original "broken leg" thing, they decided that it was much funnier to make the kid stay at home under house arrest. Okay, that's cool, specially when they include that audience trap where you hear the dude make "happy noises" in the bathroom, first see a chair rocking in rhythm with the insistent groaning, and then it turns out he's scratching! The strangest way to scratch, by the way. However, how do you get this kid, a nice kid into house arrest? Easy, by punching his teacher. O_O Sorry, but I find that one very, very hard to believe. Add to it, he's in house arrest exactly through all the summer. Can you be more cliché?

Have not finished watching it, honestly, maybe today, but then again, I'm watching it for the guy, not the plot, so why do I complain? Man, because I may like this dude, but can't he pick better movies? And on top of that, why can't movie makers make more decent movies? If I weren't so allergic to writing screenplays (I'm entirely a prose writer), I'd scribble up something and donate it to some movie studio. For real.

Me lleva el hijueputa chichómetro

Mae, hágame el puta favor y explíqueme qué carajos no entiende en que no quiero tener nada que ver con el hijueputa de LD? Qué es? Le cuesta la tabla del 0? Bueno, déjeme y se lo grafico: el malnacido ese es un MONTADO. Usted le da el meňique y le agarra la nuca, me explico? Así que no me salga con playaditas de que "no es una actitud profesional". Mae, hijueputa, vaya mame p****. Cómo me va a hablar a mí de actitud profesional? Sabe usted lo que es el profesionalismo? Sí, eso pensé.

Pero para que no se le haga un nudo con los sesos, déjeme para ponerselo con crayolas, y con los fucking bullets que a usted tanto lo excitan:

• Yo llevé las cosas en paz al principio.
• Al principio el cabrón se empezó a montar.
• Sin decirle al cabrón lo mucho que me cae como un culo, le dije que las confiancitas que se toma no son de mi agrado. Puta mae, hasta que le hablé con una diplomacia que ni parecía yo, para que vea!
• El cabrón carep***** no entendió y se siguió montando.
• Ahí me hice la soviética para evitar problemas. Digo, si usted que es el jefe no le dice nada, y yo le digo a usted, le mando correos y todo y usted no hace nada, sólo faltaba que yo le grite, no?
• El mamón ese 1. llega a la hora del burro (pero tiene permiso para entrar 1/2 hora tarde... claro, en el huso horario de California), 2. Se va a la hora que le da la gana (seguro tiene permiso de retirarse en el huso horario de Groelandia), 3. Todos los días tiene dos horas de almuerzo (di, para meterle comida a tanta panza hace falta tiempo), 4. Todas las semanas pide permisos de algo: médicos, RTV, mecánico... A uno le arrugan la cara por ir al CONSULTORIO por una FUCKING bomba de Salbutamol, pero el hijueputa este puede estar llegando a la hora que quiere, e irse a la hora que quiere para las mil enfermedades que le están tratando... ninguna de las cuales parece ser la vagancia o la vergüenza.
• El cabrón pierde TRES juegos de llaves de la puerta común de los cubículos, repetidas veces deja abierto el lugar, a pesar de que mucho antes de que se pasara se dió la instrucción de cerrar siempre para evitar robos y otras cosas por el estilo. Entonces el carep**** este me pide las llaves después de él haber ido a almorzar, cuando YO voy a ir a comer, so pretexto de que en 20 minutos vuelve con las llaves, que es para sacarles copia. Traté de no darle las llaves, decirle que se las pidiera a X, pero claro, el hijueputa sabía que las fucking llaves de X las había perdido. A sabiendas que yo iba ir a comer, el carep**** tarda una hora y diez minutos.

Claro que se entera todo el mundo, si ya para las dos estaba yo que temblaba del hambre y no podía irme porque MIS LLAVES no aparecían. Cuando finalmente aparece el carep**** ese, todo lo que dice es "lo siento". No hijueputa! La que lo siente soy yo! Siento el hambre! Siento el fucking momento en que lo dejaron venirse para acá. Siento haberle prestado las llaves en lugar de decirle "qué pena, pero vaya pídaselas a X o a Y". Ay sí, pero con decir "lo siento" todo se arregla. Pues sabe qué, hijueputa? No. No se arregla. Y como todo empezó por las confiancitas, ahora lo corto desde la raíz. No le doy ni los buenos días, y tenga la plena seguridad de que no hay poder en la tierra que me haga dirigirle la palabra. Y para brete? No papá! Que tenga cuenteada a la gente con que "sabe", no es pretexto para que le hable. O lo consigo por otros medios, o que alguien hable con el hijueputa ese y luego me lo cuente.

News: The Pot of Facts and Lies

I've been wondering recently about the meaning of the news and the media. What's the point of it, and why do we keep reading it? It's fairly clear to all of us, that news are partialized and far more filtered that drinking water, so why do we keep going to them? Well, perhaps because we have really no other way to get an idea of what's going on, but do we really know what's going on through the papers?

News are less and less about the truth, and though I have fiercely advocated the notion that the truth itself doesn't exist, at least not as one and only, there's no resemblance whatsoever of any kind of truth in the papers. We could expect, however, to read, hear and see about facts, but facts are fewer and fewer and the lies that pepper the words spread like mould on bread. If you stick to one paper and one paper only, you may not notice it, but if you read several, specially several from different countries, you soon start to notice the divergences. And it's not only about stuff like what goes on around celebrities, where the fact of the Holly, Bridget and Kendra no longer being with Hugh Hefner has given chance to so many stories and so many versions not even all the Lord of The Rings, all Final Fantasy, all Harry Potter, Smallville and Supernatural fanfiction put together could ever produce, but I'm talking about what goes on with this whole crisis thing. U.S. says it approved one amount for the bailout, and Europe says they aproved a larger one. U.S. papers couterattack saying that the E.U. has aproved an EVEN LARGER amount (fuck it, they have more Central Banks, you moron!), and the E.U. says it wasn't even an aproved bill, but more like a proposal. It just came up as a suggestion. Some say this is going down the sewer and those say, that ain't true, and the ones deep down the sewer are the other ones.

I've been bitching for ages now about the abhorrent mediocricy that swallows everything around here, and nothing hurts me more than the mangling of my career. The prostitution of it would simply send me to my grave with a ban to ever come out of it, to the point that an army of angels should come, restrain me and forcefully pull me out of my grave for the day of the Final Judgment. And I mean it. Being so, I can't possibly believe that someone would honestly chose to become a journalist only to spread lies, twist facts and write endless fanfiction-on-demand about what's really going on. How can someone have the face to pretend to be giving people information, presenting "news" of which they know they are no better than some scribbled up story that isn't happening in this world? How can they live with themselves selling lies as facts, and misinterpreted facts as truth?

I remember CNN the first time the $700 B bailout didn't pass, how there was this blonde woman (who could really use a Fashion Emergency intervention) bitching against the senators about how they could be so "idiotic" and not to pass the bailout, that people were starvign that not passing the bailout would only sink the country in bankrupcy. Well, you've got your bailout, and I hear about it being of $850B. So, how's the country? People are still starving. Medical insurance is no longer among the expenses of people, and they are actually cutting back on Education too. Pulling kids out of college so they can eat? Dude, soon all the U.S. will be like a big India, with families selling their kids to sweatshops as slaves and their daughters to whorehouses in order to have a little income to eat. And the Bailout that would save America has passed! The Bourse is swinging wildly up and down like an EKG. +500, -500, +500,-500... What does it tell you?

Let me tell you: The bubble of speculation has bursted. Did you really thought that bubble could be blown bigger and bigger to the end of times? Did you really, honestly thought that especulation could hold itself and produce for itself and it will never get caught by reality? Dude, you fucked it up real bad. And you want to know something else? The Bailout was also sheer speculation. And instant solution for a country of instant everythings. Because, does someone ACTUALLY has a plan about what to do? Does someone has measured up the size and the implications of the damage? Does someone ACTUALLY know how to address the problem? Or is "keep on the war and send all those paupers to die on Iraq, and hopefully a hurricaine will take care of those who remain here" the only viable solution proposed? And the bail out? To buy up the banks. Nationalization. But that's not feasable, because that's a "communist" solution. The State fixes it and sell it back. Really. How long will it take for the State to fix this mess? With what? Taxpayer's money? Uhum. That would take a lot of time. All that time living in financial communism? Impossible. Sell it back to the banks. At what price? Something arranged?

So, let me see if I get this right:

You take the banks FROM their current owners and make it STATE owned. But since that's a market crime, and there was a whole Cold War over the issue, the banks will be sold to some other private hands, after some taxpayer financed fixings, to some better manager. Like Carlyle Group? Hn... So, if my maths are right... you are giving money to the rich. You give that bailout money to the current owners of the banks, NOT TO THE PEOPLE BEING CHOKED BY THE DEBTS and then fix things up... somehow, and then sell it back, pretty much giving money by charging a small Government Comission to another big money enterprise.

Question:

1. What about the people in debt?
2. What about the people who lost their homes to foreclosures?
3. What about the people who's money is taken in taxes to help these big-money sharks? What about the taxpayers?
4. What about all the things that could have been done with that taxmoney?

And perhaps one of the most important questions of all:

FROM WHICH PROJECTS' BUDGET WILL THAT BAILOUT MONEY BE PULLED OUT?

Education? Healthcare? Infrastructure? Unemployment aid? Small business aids? Which current social service or social warranty will cease to exist? Nobody asked that, right? Because the way things go in this administration, I very much doubt that money will come out of the Army budget. Am I right?

But do not expect to read of any of this on the papers. It's too unfiltered to hit the presses. This is what the filters catch and leave out.

A Nice Weekend

In case you wonder, yes, I went AGAIN to the movies to watch AGAIN my favorite movie, "Eagle Eye". Fuck, that guy keeps looking good in my eyes. What can I say? Sure, I can concentrate on the plot too, and I find little details, though up to the third time there's not much else to watch on the movie, except that, yes, you can see some blood on that final scene, and that has pleased me greatly. It's not a Quentin Tarantino -like blood ocean that makes you think: "This man do believe people have the bottomless sources of blood you can see in Saint Seiya", but there was a nice tatch of blood, and also blood on the shirt. I think I could take that single picture out and stare at it day after day. Then again, I rather look at the "shooting to the ceiling" scene. Hell, he looks so good in there!

I also got meself a new book, and I have to check on another. A book made me curious: "Micah" by Laurell Hamilton. Well, any writer with a name like that means only one thing: it's a cheap "romantic-meets-sex for the unsatisfied" kind of novel. You know, a Harlequin... the kind of book that would have on the cover a picture of that... what's his name? Fuck... Valentino? Well, whatever. That kind of novel. I doubt this bookstore would sell actual gay fiction, particularly of the kind suggested by that book (that would be wishful thinking for my part), but I really don't like het sex-books. The only het action I'm interested in, is my own. However, there was an occultist-mystery undertone on the plot, which would really interest me, so I'll have to check it out on the Internet, before I decide whether to purchase it or not.

Books make me happy, that's a fact. ^_^ Have been purchasing books quite often, now, which ain't bad, specially since I have made my personal project for 2009 to push the bar on the "Premium" Client level, taking it to 750€+. Yeah, yeah, I want to make it harder to reach to many of the current yellow cardholders, but also to push the bookstore to make a new level for the Upper Premium Class. Seeing other people flash silver cards really upsets me. I don't want anyone else in my class... save from my closest and personally approved friends. Sorry, but I am quite elitist, and seeing any commoner flash around with MY priviledges just ruins the fun for me. I mean, watching paupers flash gold American Express cards is so upsetting! Why do they have access to MY Priviledges? (There goes my Socialist Upbringing, but really, businesses should know better than giving VIP treatment to every John Doe.)

This weekend was a "bank" weekend, with running here to pay credit cards... find out that an account closed, which I have to investigate (no use, what can I say, but I gara know if I can reactivate it, or if it's gone for good), and then I had my hair trimmed, which I do every two months to keep my hair healthy.

It was, somehow, one of those "spa" weekends, even with the bank and all. Today I went with Laura to a Spinning class... and haven't taken a shower the whole day. Ate fig icecream, fried egg snadwitch and lots of coke.

I'm rechargd for the week to come... and I'll get "Disturbia" and other Shia-movies as soon as I can. (Plus more books!)

What am I reading now? Still on "Tropic of Cancer" and "Suite Française", but I think I'll start also something new. I want something new, somethign fun to read. Maybe "Book of Fate"?

Holla! -- MOVIE SPOILERS!!

First of all, if you are reading this through the FB: sorry I have not been able to connect lately to it, so of course it's kinda neglected, but I really won't connect to the FB at 23:46 when I gara wake up at 05:00 the next day, so that ain't happening, homie! And why am I getting home so late? Dude, blame that on the men.

BTW, I did went to the movies on Wednesday, to watch "Eagle Eye" for the second time in a row. I loved it. At the movies I ran into Heidy and her friend, who took their seats at the movie theatre at 18:09 when their movie was to start at 18:45. Reason? They wanted to "EAT". Hmmm... I've heard that one already. My movie was also due to 18:45, so I went first windowshopping, stopping at a Tommy Hilfiger Contemporary to check on a nice blouse. Maybe I would have bought it, but it had a terrible back. I mean, it was nice and the concept was cool (save that they only had sheer-transparent-white and navy-blue), but the back was so badly done it created a HUGE bubble into which you could fit a backpack. So, of course I didn't buy it.

This time around, I ACTUALLY paid attention to a few interesting details of the movie. Among them it caught my attention that the name of the FBI agent is THOMAS while out hero's name is Jerry. Tom & Jerry. Add to it, Mr. Thornton is greying and has this very thick black eyebrows, just like our Tom cat. Also, on a second review, you tend to catch the little details, and not so little that you missed the first time around. Plus, I stated for myself once again, that I love the scene where LaBeouf jumps on a table clad in police uniform, face casted down and shoots a few rounds into the ceiling. Hyne, I even find him hot lying on a non existing pool of blood between the seats and the table, on the floor, face down, with an incredibly poor effect on the blood matter. The way he's shot, how he falls... the way he asks to be killed when... I'm spoling, right? Anyway, I just love the way he looks in those scenes. His humanity, in my eyes is pumped up so much!

Love when he talks about Ethan, love when he tries to make his father understand that he has his own life. Love when he cires before the casket of Ethan, love when he smiles at the end, love when he thinks Rachel is going to smooch him, and you can see in his face that he goes there mentally and dies to do it and then... +_+ Yep, I love that kid, in that role. In any other? Most likely hate him.

One that should be driving me crazy is "Twighlight" where Pattinson acts, but it's doing nothing for me. It's a "oh, you again. Hi, I see you still have your maze-eyebrows. Good". Sorry, it's a phase I've already outgrown. Now, misunderstand me not, I still believe he's a looker, only... Well, his type just reached the Expiration Date with me. Besides, right now I like the more "human", more "real", more... well... roughed and therefore more prone to turn to basic human elements. In otherwords, who is more prone to drop the socially imposed masks to be a "natural man". Then again as you see both pictures, one next to the other, you'd say also that it's an Eyebrow Battle. The Iron Eyebrow. Who's Eyebrows will reign SUPREME. (And facial hair might be a welcomed chavalry...). Anyway, the Status Qvo currently is: LaBeouf ↑ Pattinson↓.

Yesterday my dear friend Kat sent me a little package to the office. She made me a small notepad pack of A4 sheets printed with little bunnies, and tied with a green ribbon. ^_^ I must say I'm touched. They are so perfect! Kat is a very, very creative and talented woman, who can do just about anything and does it beautifully. She told me this year, that she has decided to do all the presents she'll give to her friends and family this year. The idea is cool and due to it's implications (can made more eco-friendly things, make personalized, truly unique things, get them exactly what you want to give them) I was soon thinking the same: Dude! I could make the presents myself! How cool is that! Then I remembered that, for real, the only thing I do well is writing. What kind of present could I really make for my friends and family? Embroid them handkerchiefs? Write them a non-rhyming poem? Write them a story? Okay, that's one present down, BUT not everybody would be interested in reading a Snupin, or yet another Krumggory. Maybe I should stick to the good ol' shopping.

I'll let you know.

Wimpy

Dude, I've read books with better endings. Man, I mean, it went so well, and at one point I was bursting of laugher for HOURS at home, it was so good, but as it went down to the end, it WENT DOWN the gutter. Hell, I need something to get my artistic spirit high. Oh, I know! I'll go to the movies and watch Eagle Eye! ^_^ What an ingenious idea! Sometimes I amaze myself. How can I be so clever and resourceful, but above all, have such sheer-genius ideas?? I should be awarded the Nobel Prize of Best Self. I totally deserve it.

I'll let you know how it went. ^_~

Shia, baby, here we go! ~ ♥

Eagel Eye

Though I have a lot of things to be pissed off about, such as my motherfucking thesis director, who is completely unable to understand that this fucking shit is fucking important, and if he has egged us into this fucking topic, he better STICK to it and work at out rhythm or else (sorry, I had to vent about that, and nice wording just wouldn't do it), or the stupid prick who fell in love with me after I condescendingly went to grab a beer with him and got myself booooored out of my head listening to his ever-so-pitiful shit while excercising an incredible amount of will power I absolutely ignored I had towards tolerance-towards-the-mentally-and-emotionally-impaired to keep myself from standing up and telling him: "For the n-th time, you are not 'a strange guy', you are like thousands more called 'needy, dependant, useless drama queens' insteand of 'men'." --- Okay, I think I do deserve now one of those Hypocrisy Noble Prizes, also know as Peace Noble Prize. (Not like I would EVER accept one of those... Being listed in the same category as that rat Oscar Arias makes my skin crawl back...). Then of course there's the weekly dose of Iván The Epitome of Drama. Her Ladyship's last stunt was through the SMS.

"I do not understand your anger. Would you it explain to me?"

My, my... what makes him think I'm angry? I won't pretend I have no feeling towards him. I still harbor some resentment for the shit he has done, though I have so much stuff in my mind that I have to think actually at the crap he has done in order to evoke the feelings of resentment. Then, of course, there's annoyance, which springs to life each time he calls me or sends me a message. And here I thought I was crystal clear when I told him that I'll be unavailable up to April due to thesis. I must assume that while I meant Swedish Collection crystal when I thought about "crystal clear", he preceived it as crystal meth. No wonder. Anyway, the drama queen presented her weekly piece, but let's just be hopefull and hope against all hope that the carnival is going to another city and the show won't come back.

So, aside from three annoying bastards, my weekend was a blast. I did felt odd at having a Saturday not devoted entirely to the thesis, research, laptop and library environment, typing my fingers away, surrounded by papers what Mile seeks for the missing pieces to put up the perfect paper with information I couldn't possibly graps, and which makes me ever so grateful to have her in my life, here with me doing this thesis. God, bless Mile because she's the best! (Today she's filing our proposal to the Counsil to be approved tomorrow... May God be with us in this...) I'd truly be lost without Mile.

I've been rolling numbers up and down trying to make sense, get them to work and come up with some diagnosis while not having the milestone of it: the tour to the islands, the info from the islands to get this thing rolling. I kinda feeli like taking off on my own, go this Saturday there and see what can be seen around there. God as my witness, I'll do it if we have no other choice.

So, Saturday. I went running some errands to the banks, and one of those was to deposit some money on my Euro account. Life had it so, that when I went to do a little of leisure activities, I actually spent HALF of what I have deposited... T_T. Life is cruel. Thing is that my favorite bookstore had this offer, that if you bought at least two books on the weekend you could get an eco-bag. (A bag made of ecological fabric, some kind of untreated cotton of sorts.) I haven't been over at the bookstore for a while, so what best chance? I went... and ended up with four books... three of them in Spanish and the ONLY one in English a pack I actually picked for my dear friend Sandra Hill. ^_^ It just... called me. The books are cool. One is from Carmen Posadas and it's called "La Bella Otero", which is about a woman who looses all her fortune due to her addiction to gambling, and then gambles about the date of her own death. The other is a book by Nick Hornby, and it's about a guy who pretends to have a kid to score with the ladies, and a kid who needs a father figure and tags along. The last one is a journal, quite graphic and quite interesting. It's a novel by Jeff Kinney and it's called "The Diary of a Whimpy Kid". It's a page turner, mostly due to the language in which it's written, even if it is translated and translated into Spain-Spanish, which ain't the favorite of Latin American readers. ( I still remember how people growled and mocked each time a Dragon Ball movie was Spain-Spanish doubled... Specially when Goku said stuff like "Vamos! A que no puedes cogerme!", which really, only means "Come on! Try to catch me!", but in Costa Rican slang means "Come on! Try to fuck me!").

After the books I went to have some small lunch and then to the movies, packed up with my favorite movie pack: Matinée. It's a kiddie pack, with a small coke, small popcorn and candies. It's the only one with candies, and the only one with the right amount of popcorn I can actually eat. The movie I went to see was Eagle Eye. Kind of have heard of it before, but I basically went because it was the only things that seemed like I could see it, plus the guy was "okay looking". Dude, the guy, Shia LaBeouf-Or-Something is hnnnn-not-tooooo-bad-only-really-not-my-type when he's shave, but unshaven he's You-were-born-to-belong-serve-in-my-bed. Now, I don't need to hear it, I KNOW! But before you go "it's the eyebrows!", think that he keeps his eyebrows but if he shaves I dislike him. So why with beard? I'm not the likes-beards type-o-gal. I actually have always liked the angel-face guys, the softer the better, but this guy... shaven is so unappealing for me, all cheeky, hi-hi, poshy, plastic-looking, while with the beard he becomes rougher, more human and maybe also more mature, less kiddy and someone I can relate to. And then again, shaven he's too "Hollywood" for my liking, but with beard, a little ragged, a little scared, a little poor, a little scratched and rough around the edges... he's ever so... Krummy. So there I go again! I keep falling for this type... and I really liked my old type! T_T

Directed by D.J. Caruso, it delievers, to my unrefined knowledge, an acceptable performance, though a bit stiff here and there. Labeouf does a nice job as Jerry Shaw, but as Ethan, the twin... well, let's just leave it there. Thanks Hyne the "Ethan" parts are few enough not to spoil the movie. Billy Bob Thornton should remember he's not playing Agent Smith, so it's okay to be a bit more "human", yet, it's a "character", not his dream to be an FBI Agent.

The plot in itself is boring, though the action and watching LaBeouf is interesting enough to make me get another ticket to watch him, however, really, it's stupid. I know I'm spoiling the movie, but it already get's spoiled rather fast: a computer deciding to overthrow the Government. Why can't people just come up with something original? Really, some secret organization would have been cooler. It's just so fake, so "Matrix Vista" you are wondering when is Jerry being offered the blue and the red pill, and whether Neo will pop up out of the blue and save the day.

However, that's to LaBeouf's handsome face and other lovely atributes, I had a wonderful time. Looking like that he could even sell me the idea of marriage. So, mostlikely I'll be going to see him again at the movies, buy the DVD on Amazon and wonder for a while why my guy-type has changed from the angel to the roughed up struggling type of man with a soft, bleeding core.

After the movies I happened by Victor's place... my friend, and we chatted and watched FOUR Supernatural chapters in a row from the fourth season. O_O It's so good! We spent hours drooling over Sam and Dean, though he likes Sam better, while Dean is more my kind... ^_^ But we promised that if he get them, we will share and switch on regular basis. What are friends for, right? (And gay friends? To drool together over men, of course.)

"Will you come next week for the next chapter?"
"You can bet your money on it!"

So, probably from now on after thesis I'll have a stop at his place for Supernatural.

Yes, Life is Good.

Just an observation

Regarding the current "fucked up" market situation into which the U.S. managed to pull the rest of the world (and I hope now the rest of the world learns and next time knows better before trusting all their assets into the hands of one egomaniac nation or group, and stopr thinking the "Memo Zúňiga"way where the future is the problem of the future, thinking they can fuck up stuff, bacause they'll be long dead before hacing to pay for it...), I watch how the different countries get the Government to help their financial systems. It's kinda funny how if Hugo Chávez talks about "nationalization" it means "socialism", "communism" and therefore evil satanic practices left only to cruel, people torturing dictatorships, where people leave in fear, poverty and denied to express themselves. BUT if the US talk about "nationalization", dude, that's okay because that's gonna save us. (The EU does "nationalize" as well, but 1. Yes, I'm partialized about Europe, because for me Europe is beyond perfect, and 2. As far as I know, Europe hasn't gone out of its way to point fingers at nationalization.)

Who is responsible for the crisis... oh, the Democrats for not acting on time at voting the bailout! The Republicans for not acting together, because they didn't need the Democrat votes to pass the bailout (of $700 billion, according to the American Press, $850 billion according to Le Figaro...) Fuck it, people! The bailout ain't the root of the recession. This was lurking since 1995, almost fall into the ditch in 2001, but the 9-11 came "miraculously" to the "rescue", so people didn't pay attention to it. But it was there. Poverty raising... okay, haul over some of those paupers, make them soldiers and have them killed out there. That's actually very, very Hegel. "The way to end with misery is killing the miserbles." Hey, at least there's a philosopher backing it up, right? So, who's responsible? Everybody from the President down.

Like they say in Internal Control, "the responsability is not transferable". You may "empower" someone, and delegate functions and capabilities, but you cannot delegate responsability. So yes, if the President didn't pay attention to it, it IS his responsability still. Sorry, no way out of this hole. It's responsability of the people as well, for electing him. It's responsability of the enterprises for not taking measures, for thinking they could surf through it and take no precautions even if they had a 13-year notice that this wasn't gonna last. It's the fault of people as customers, for pushing for more and more loans, for not living within their means (yeah, me talking), for not demanding the State to keep their hard earned social warranties. Dude, press your representatives! You have Senators to talk for you! Honestly people, for a country of Freedom and Right of Expression, you really don't get to say much. Anyway, you got into a pit, and now you have to pedal back, and you see you have to go against your own preeching. The irony of it it's actually wonderful. And not because I may or may not be a supporter of the Socialist Systems (I'm not really, for I still don't understand them fully), but because this is like in the 30's, with the Great Depression, when John Maynard Keynes finally had the chance to prove that, yes, he was right and Jean-Baptiste Say was wrong.

The markets themselves are imperfect, and you can't leave them do as they see fit, all guided by their own "selfishness" and feed the fools' hope that it will work out fine. The world is not an economical model, starting with the fact that a. products are not homogenic, b. agents are not the same size and evidently those with more power WILL exercise said power (hey, they are SELFISH and we encouraged them to be so!), but above all c. the agents are NOT rational. Selfish doesn't mean they are by default rational. Why? Because they are ran by people, and people is NOT rational. People is irrational, and hell, I'm rather irrational, so of course the rest of the world is irrational! So, will the individual "every man for its own" attitude save the world amd make us live in a better place? Of course not! If we let them, well, you can well see what happens. What do we need to prevent this? Intervention. Institutions, a government that sticks its nose in the market and makes sure the little people are fine and the conditions are fair. What is fair? Well, for me, but that's just "good ol' keynesian thinking", "fair" means welfare, national well being. People able to support their families, capable of providing to satisfy their basic needs secured in the long term, and the tools to get to those means at hand for everybody without discrimination of age, race, gender, political affiliation or ECONOMICAL and SOCIAL CONDITION. Meaning? Education, and I mean ALL education should be free for the people. From kindergarden to the PhD. Access to health and medical assistance should be free, ranging from a cold, a cut to a nutritional consult, a psychological appointment to AIDS, cancer, or any illness in the world... all of them along with the treatment and the medication should be for free for everybody. Maternity leave, sick days, retirement... should ALL be covered by the Government. And this ain't some "she drank too much coke and is hallucinating" kind of speech. This have been existing around the world, so they are very much possible. Oh, and I include up there also the dental stuff.

State provided education and health doesn't have to be poor quality. It becomes poor quality if you LET IT go that way. Pay no bribes, demand enough people working there, go to no private clinics... Start and finish your education in the State universities, and don't go to "easy" schools where you can pay for the diploma, or end medical school in two years instead of six. How can it be that during the 50's and the 60's universal health and state education where the top in quality and now people think of them as the worst it can happen to you? Dude, that's not because the State stuff don't work, but because you let corruption enter. And I won't go there sounding like my Mom and telling you how the corruption is the little "capitalist pig" people have lurking inside (though right now I see her point), so let's leave it like that. (However, ain't that capitalist pig sweet? Oh, I just love it! Made me laugh a lot at the office!)

So, the thing is that "nationalization" and letting the State take care of matters that affect the population has been around for quite a long time. And we have known of what happens in the "wild, wild capitalism" when you take away all restrains and let the burgeoise, the Co.'s and the "Big Private Money" do their bidding. Just in case you have forgotten, please let me refer you to Karl Marx and "Das Kapital" or "The Capital", available in pretty much all languages... as far as I know. It's available since 1867, so it has been around quite some time now. No, no, before you even say so, it is not Socialist Propaganda, and please don't say you don't write stuff written by the Russians or the Soviets, because it is GERMAN. Okay, so stated these facts, I found it utterly amazing to read in the news that this Mr. Gordon Brown, British PM said, and I quote from the CNN

"This is not a time for conventional thinking or outdated dogma, but for the fresh and innovative intervention that gets to the heart of the problem."

(CNN, London, England, "Britain unveils $84B rescue plan".)

Fresh and innovative. Say, I guess if you plan to use slave labour force... LEGAL slave labour force it won't be fresh and innovative anymore, right? C'mon dude! Some common sense here! Don't try to invent the sliced bread. Go back to the books and do things as they are supposed to be done. This ain't no time to go "experimenting" with something that "doesn't look so leftish, specially not so Soviet". It's fucked up, now own it, face it and work on it.

New

New photo of me, taken yesterday while I was goofing with my cellphone. It looks a tad "sexy", so to say, and you may find it funny to know that right in that moment instead of thinking: "Yeah hunk, I want you so much" I was thinking about the thesis and how the fuck are we going to get the information we need when the people in charge of recollecting that information, doesn't have a TYPED DOWN database earlier than 2005. Some institutions truly amaze me.

The blog is also looking different, as you can see that. I really love the darkened look, the crips lettering you get from a black background, and since it looked so good on Hókisasszony, why wouldn't I apply it also to Stormberry, right? Prepared a new header as well, with my favorite pictures, and a bit of a peacock theme, which is pretty much becoming my "hallmark". Dragonfly is all about dragonflies, and I thought I humg somewhere between cats and bunnies, maybe dragons, but Lo There, I am the peacock-queen. May as well change my name to Hera.

Who Do You Think You Are Fooling

Today two things happened at the office: one was hilarious and the other was outrageous. Aside from reading AGAIN "The Whole Chicken" and thinking for the n-th time in the last days about really starting this fic where Fleur talks Cedric and Viktor into kissing because "come on dudes! Everybody NORMAL does it!", all tangled with flashes of this new literary project I have on mind titled "Straight Boys Crossing", a story inspired by some of the stories my recent gays acquintances told me about, AND then some I myself have witnessed (to my dismay and horror --- No, not homophobia, please no! To my horror due to the outrageously immature way some people handle their way around facts so they don't get in touch with reality). Names, obviously will be changed, to "someone" should be called something like "Doesn't Get Along With Reality in a Long Time".

Anyway, thing is that a few days agon, while I was taking lunch late in order to escape my coworkers so I can read peacefully the material for the thesis, this woman from the office came by, sat down and started to eat and chat on the phone. We started somewhat talking, and I ended up telling her about the time when my thesis topic was "Telenetworking in Costa Rica", and how the tutor dismissed it saying that "it was something incredibly surreal, unrealistic and I should concentrate in real stuff." Yeah, like the Government ain't promoting telenetworking. So, anyway, I've got deep into de subject, so I have some knowledge on the matter, and I told her I checked the rulebook proposed and passed for the Institution, and it's all wrong. Well, she found my ideas interesting, and it seems she shared them with her boss, who is also my boss' boss. He showed interest and so she called me today telling me that The Boss wanted me to prepare a few comments on the rulebook, and that he would like to see my ideas on the topic, so please let my boss know about it. I started working immediately on a presentation squeezing my brain for all I remembered from my research, and then commenting the most outrageous paragraphs of the rulebook, fully explaining why it wasn't appliable to actual telenetworking.

Did a nice, short, understandable slideshow presentation (understandable to the average intelligence), and when I was about to tell my boss about his boss' request, he showed up at my office.

"So glad you came! I have something to tell you!" I said with a big smile.
"Yeah?"
"Yes! Has Cindy talked to you already?"
"Some..."
"Well," I said " I just talked to her and guess what? I'm moving to her process to work! You'll remain with L.D.!"

It was a joke, though I do have been planning on using that as a threatening card if the pestis doesn't leave the premises soon. My boss, however, suddenly paled and went more than serious, veritably panicked.

"It's a joke!" I cracked.

Life came back to him, and I explained to him the telenetworking request, for which he didn't pay any attention, only waved me "ok". However before he was gone he said:

"You should NEVER make jokes like that! That was too tough!"

Hope he keeps that in mind.

That was the funny part. The outrageous part of the day was when L.D. asked me, after HIS 1+ hour lunch to lend him my office key (we share one door) to copy it, saying it would take him 20 minutes to copy. I looked at the clock. 13 hrs. Sure, I can go lunch at 13:20hrs. I planned to go to Incopesca, so what the hell? By 14hrs I was literally TREMBLING and COLD from hunger. My head was sminning, my hands where sweating ans shaking, and he was nowhere. I went to my boss for his copy of the keys, which he didn't had because he had lended to that motherfucker. I called the Big Kahuna's assistants, but they didn't have it either because they were still waiting for the asshole to give them back the keys. I begged them for the "unknown keys", which loomed on three rings. I was so hungry I was willing to try out around 40 keys to see if maybe one of them could lock my office, so I can leave.

When I was on my third ring, the ASSHOLE appeared and handed me MY key. I just grabbed it and stomped away as he muttered a lame "sorry". Geez, like sorry will make it good all the sudden. What the fuck people think? That they can get away with murder with a "sorry"? I was pissed at him, and still am. I no longer have no reason to be civil with him or give him the minimal courtesy. All morning have been bothering me with why his laptop has no case. Dude, go get your fucking case somewhere, don't bother me when I'm evidently WORKING! And why in the fucking hell he keeps coming when I'm paying no fucking attention to him? I mean, I know I'm hot and it's fulfilling to look at me breathe, but come on you motherfucker! Go get your life satisfaction somewhere else! Just take me a picture and use it as wallpaper and leave me the fuck alone! I hope he dares not to talk to me tomorrow. We will have a class for four days at the CPCECR, Tue and Thu, but I hope he forgets and doesn't go, so I don't have to see him. But if I do and we have to team up, I'll explicitly request to be teamed up with someone else, or I rather do the tasks alone.

This time I will apply extreme prejudice. I'll mail my boss about his annoying behavior.

Cleansing

It feels good to cleanse and throw things out. It feels good when you do it from your closet, off your desk, off your purse, but also out of your life. A lot of people tend to hold tightly into things and "clutter up" with a whole lot of unnecessary stuff. The reasons for it may be many, but basically, for me, it's due to lack of confidence. People who save things because "they don't know when could they use them", or those people who would pack up even the walls of their homes when they are leaving for an overnight stay somewhere, because "you never know", and can actually tell you about that ONLY, ONE TIME when their prevision actually worked. Sure, there are stuff hard to leave, and us women usually have problems with that, which is why the overwhelming majority carries purses filled to capacity with our "bare necessities". Of course, through the years we learn to select stuff, and really carry around only what we really need, but that's not always the case. (Problem comes when you do your "time-and-necessity benchmark" and realize that you actually have to carry a whole lot of heavy stuff on daily basis, which in my case is my journal an a book to read, for the many times in which I'm bored out of my head, or to satisfy my compulsive need to write, OR to break away from all this crap and submerge in a nicer dimension where everything makes sense [even if I'm reading Kafka].)

For a while now I've become a "Spirit Liberalization" partisan, and at least once a year make an evaluation of my stuff, categorize it and throw away everything that's no longer of use, or has proven not to be useful to my normal activities. Movies, tapes, books, clothes, shoes, bags, music CDs, files, documents, tchotchkes, decoration, toys, jewelry, electronic devices... it all gets sorted out and the discarded items either get donated (to my family, it hardly makes it past Mom and Julie) or discarded.

The feeling is awesome and I'd love to recommend it to everybody, because it feels like letting fresh air in. The very process, no matter how long and hard and tiring is, is full of joy at every step. It's like a big party. Of course, the best part is when you do it all by yourself, where all criteria and decision, the tempo, the progression, the direction, the labeling is ALL done by yourself. No third parties adding external inputs: it's all YOU. And, so, as you sweat, as you work, as you do it, and as the fresh air starts to flow in (you don't really have to get to the end to start feeling it) is all YOUR work, your effort, your credit. It's one of those times when you feel in so much control of your fate, the whole Existentialist theory courses your body and you are pure philosophical poetry, and at the same time, not only abstract, but applied, pragmatic as well. You feel so HUMAN and humanist that's easy to lose perspective, broken away from the castrating social conventions that make you believe you are useless without the others, and you feel like a god. I guess I pity those who can't go through this alone. Must be real sad to be so unable to take control of your life, but always need someone there to do things for you. People who spend their lives on the copilot seat, busy blaming others for the decisions they themselves failed to take. Sadly there's a lot of people in the world living like that, and the worst is that many of them don't even realize how negative this is, or even realize what are they doing.

This whole "get rid of everything that doesn't add value-and-function to your life" can be applied not only to stuff, material stuff, but also to many other things, and I'm not talking right now of asbtract things like "attitudes" and "character flaws" and such, but to something a bit more concrete: intangible things you don't need in your life, such as contacts and friends. I mention this because yesterday, I went into my Facebook profile (after milleniums of not getting around), and eliminated a whole bunch of contacts from my "friends" list and even blocked a few of them. My list was already small, compared with the 500+ lists people keep (I hardly reached a 10% of that number), so if I say I eliminated X amount would sound small, but the whole impact was important. In total, I de-friended 16 people, which represented about a 35% of my contacts, and it felt goooood! After all, for real, who keeps up actually with 500+ friends? Who has time for that? Who can properly take care of that? Even my current 33 contact list seems rather long for me, so I'll keep raking it and trimming it until I reach a decently manageable number, probably under 20. Also have been considering taking off apps and stuff that only clutter. Have decided not to close it entirely since that's a channel through which I communicate with my family in Hungary, and with some of my dear Hungarian friends (and because the outlay is far better that that of the iwiw...), but I'll make it more functional instead of turning it into the Chinese-Clutter-Store a lot of people make of their profiles.

Free space, free your mind, free your soul, free your spirit and let air and joy and emotions feel the space anchors used to take in your life.

I love you All.