Who is "We"?

Call me stupid or gullible, naive or whatever, but yesterday I sat on my bed, stuck to the CBS listening attentively at the speach of President Obama before both Houses at what, I believe, was the State of the Nation, and I felt inspired. Yes here's a man that will finally get things right in America. Bad for other countries, yes, since in his effort to give jobs to Americans, he will force enterprises to retrieve their manufacturers from abroad, and that means so long maquiladoras and call centers, and now, when the ol' pops call from deep in Tennessee, he WILL talk to some folk from the US, really, speaking American English and not some Bollywoodish gibble.

As an economist, I know this is gonna cost a fucking lot of money to do, and have honestly no idea from where that money will come, but I can see the sense in his words, and I'm happy to find someone that will take America and give it to Americans. Yes, America is a country fueled by loans, so that must be reactivated. Changing that, ripping people away from their loans is senseless. If you would like to do that, you'll have to do it little by little, but never as a whole, sudden chunk. Yes, the economy is sick, but you first have to get it on its feet somehow before starting to move it towards something more sustainable.

It's amazing, really, to find a man in the White House who has won not only the heart of his nation, but also the heart of the world. I believe this was one of those few cases where the whole planet would have loved to vote, and most likely a big chunk would have voted for him.

After his speech came of the Governor of Louisiana, Bobby Jindal, who opposed the agenda of President Obama, playing his cards evidently to be America's next president, and puked a load of crap on cameras. "Americans can do anything". Give the money to the people, because "Americans can do anything". Don't give the money to the banks, give it to the people. And let me ask you, what will people do with it? Crime will certainly raise in a country in crisis, since people will try to take the money from others. If you don't give it to the banks to lend it, how will it get to the enterprises to pay the payrolls? How will it help keep down unemployment? You give the money to the people and they might decide to flee the country and let foreclosure take their homes, or will decide to buy a new car, spend the whole thing in booze... or even if they use the money to pay their mortgages, how do you suppose that will help them keep their jobs?

In a world in crisis, where Marx' predictions turned to reality, a liberal should keep his mouth shut. And who is the people anyways? Haven't the people elected President Obama? Isn't he then the representation of "the people"?

Mr. Jindal's observations are petty and misleading and try to detour people from the big picture.

No Invente (Entry in Spanish)

Mae, va uno muy tranquilo camino al brete, capeándose a la bola de Capitanes Maravilla que andan buscando ser el centro de atención de las calles que conectan cualquier lugar donde uno viva con el centro de San José, donde uno bretea buscando meterse en un buen choque, ojalá propiciarlo, y que sea tan espectacular, ojalá con muertos y heridos, para que llegue la Extra y puedan verse a la par de "Sentimientos en Conflicto"; y va oyendo tranquilamente la radio, ya que en la oficina contar con radio, o Hyne no quiera, una tele o un condenado video streaming para ver las noticias es pedir el cielo y las estrellas. Mae, es que a uno no le pagan para que se "divierta" viendo noticias. Claro, y luego todo el mundo se pregunta por qué no se entera uno de nada.


En fin, se entona uno con 100.7, emisora de sólo el pizuicas sabrá que endemoniado engendro de la radiodifusión ha poseído para pasar las más guacalosas piezas jamás compuestas y oídas por el ser humano. Por qué se lo aguanta uno? Por que a las 6 la cancioncita de "amor por qué me dejas por otro cuando yo te amo tanto, y es obvio que soy un perdedor de lo peor y ya me suicido, pero aprovecho el ratito mientras hace efecto el arsénico para dejarde una muestra de todo el ridículo del que soy capaz" la interrumpen repentinamente, como por milagro, y empieza la radiotransmisión de Telenoticias.

Sí, noticias tendenciosas, pero noticias al fin. Y no nos metamos en política porque ahí las cosas sí se nos ponen color de hormiga. Empiezan las noticias siempre del lado amable, del lado poco conflictivo, para ir poniendo a la gente de humor, irla enganchando. Empiezan con la sección de sucesos. Y es aquí donde me enferman. No me sorprende que este país produzca tal cantidad de asesinatos, crímenes pasionales, asaltos, secuestros y accidentes como para dotar noticieros y periódicos enteros que se quieran dedicar al género. Lo que me reemputa es esa hijueputa modita que les ha dado de dislocar el espaňol para que se parezca en gramática al inglés.

Cuando se habla en espaňol, o en cualquier otro idioma latino del que tengo conocimiento, uno dice, que por ejemplo "se golpeó la cabeza". El "se" es un elemento que hace que el verbo sea, como quien dice, reflejo hacia el sujeto. "Mario se golpeó la cabeza". Bueno, la cabeza de quién se golpeó? La de Mario. Claro, no? Pues no. En las noticias uno oye BURRADAS del calibre de:

- La víctima presentaba serias heridas en SU cabeza.

Noooooooo güili! Seguro en la cabeza de otro! Fulano se fracturó su rodilla. Sutano presentaba balazos en su abdomen. Mae! Siamos tan ridículos! Quién les enseňó espaňol? O es que acaso la doble posesión ahora ya si va? Y lo peor del caso, es que cuando ya no están en cámaras, cuando hablan normal, hablan NORMAL.

- Ese hijueputa se partió todo lo que se llama cara.
- Marina se pasa rascando la cabeza.
- Andrés se saca los mocos con los dedos.
- Estebana está viendo cómo hace para bajar la panza.

No, este habladito de mierda es para las cámaras. Salen los ignorantes policías jugando de muy vivos, de muy ágiles diciendo que:

- Encontramos en la escena del crimen un masculino de 33 aňos aparentemente muerto con seis disparos de bala en su espalda.

Un masculino. Sí güili! Qué? le cuesta decir "hombre"? O es que le da miedo terminar diciendo:

- Llegamos y nos encontramos a este carepicha ocsiso a punta 'e plomazos.

Y qué es eso de que "aparentemente". El mae está muerto o no, y si hay sangre por todas partes, manda que no se muera de los balazos. O no me diga que donde le dispararon se asustó y murió de un paro cardíaco o que justo antes se lo llevó el SIDA.

Uno diría, que diay, si quieren hablar feo, allá ellos, pero el problema es que esta es la idea que se está dando a la gente de lo que es "hablar bien" y "hablar correctamente", y con esto se va a lograr que toda una nación, que ya de por sí va camino a la ignorancia más absoluta, peor incluso que la vivida en la Edad Media, gracias a la Ley de Derechos de Autor (la cosa de las fotocopias siendo prohibidas), se terminan de cagar en el país generando un tipo, un dialecto de espaňol tan particularmente desastrozo que, de verdad, a ver si empezamos a pasarnos al bribrí o al chibcha como lengua oficial.

Again

My friend Sandra from South Africa sent me this questionaire... which I'm fairly sure have already answered. Well, I'm posting it here because it would be a waste of e-mail energy to send it, so... here you go. You feel like making it, filling it, taking it... be my guess!

KNOCK YOURSELF OFF WITH QUESTIONS

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My Grandma. And my Aunt. And I have no idea who else. Maybe there are a lot of me out there... maybe none. Maybe we are the only ones....
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Uhhh... I knew that one...
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Of course. It is perfect. However, the important thing is what I write with that magnificent handwriting.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAT?
Kari. Really. Okay, if it HAS to be FOOD... coke. What?? I do lunch only coke sometimes! It's perfectly healthy and fulfilling. You need your daily dose of gas and coffeine.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Not that I know about...
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I would BEG for that priviledge. I believe you maybe do not realize the huge priviledge you have at being able to say that you know me, now do you? I'm the best thing that could ever happen to anyone.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
But of couse not! Who would ever do that? And "a lot"? That's simply insulting.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yeah. They are the ones not letting me breath properly. But hey, if you want them...
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Oh, you must be mistaking me for my boss. No, I'm not stupid. But thank you anyway.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CEREAL?
That one of the chocolate chip cookies of Nestle, and also Cherios, and that one with the raisins... on, and Special K with strawberries is awesome too!
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
My shoes have no shoelaces. I'm no longer in school, you mind?
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
I've a strong sense of self and a strong will. I dunno if that's what you mean.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM?
Rum and Raisins!!! Someone should invent the Bailey's icecream too...
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
The way I feel around them.
15. RED OR PINK?
Green.
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Nothing. I'm perfect and lovable as a whole.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
What a silly question. Henrik Zetterlund, of course. Even though he's here with us, in our hearts and minds, or at least in mine, for I cannot vouch for his parents and sibling, I really, really would like sometimes the chance to write him a letter and have him - eventually - answer me. That's a cruel question, BTW.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
Hyne, no!!! Imagine answer this shit again!!!
19. WHAT COLOUR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Black and dirty and wet. Yes, wet and dirty.
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
A supermarket salami and cheese sandwich to which I had to do an autopsy before pressing it and heating it up. I had to disection it, disembowel the entire thing, throw away all the spare pieces of meat I picked out of it, which was a big pile and then squeeze it down in a hot press until all kinds of fumes and smells and sounds rose from it.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
American Pie, Don McLean.
22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?
Green.
23. FAVOURITE SMELL?
Pure Poison.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Kari ♥
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
I like her, yeah, I just don't like the moron who wrote the questions. Man, you should really do some mental excercise. That thing will start shrinking, shrinking, shrinking and one day it will just fall off.
26. FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Dude, please. You don't ask me that.

27. HAIR COLOUR?
Natural, SUPERNatural. Like Sam's.
28. EYE COLOUR?
Red, and they glow in the dark.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Oh no, I keep them on the list and use them to send them e-mails.
30. FAVOURITE FOOD?
booze.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Conspirancy, Drama and Surrealistic movies.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Cleaner. But in the movies it was Australia. I actually would have wanted to go watch Body of Lies.
33. WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Excuse me? Is this relevant anyhow or it's just to turn you on?
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Fall
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
The whole chicken
36. FAVOURITE DESSERT?
It's difficult, because I love the somlói galuska, and the dobos torta but also the cachos de guayaba, cachos de moka, orejas, tricopilias and whatever that has millefeuille paste.
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
"No". I tend to automatically answer that, even before the question is made.
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND
"Yes"
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Oh man! You should ask me that some other time! Right now I'm reading "Commodity Chains and Global Capitalism" by Gary Gereffi and Miguel Korzeniewicz. It's for the thesis. Otherwise I'm reading... (somehow) Tropic of Cancer and Suite Française.
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Well, I use only laptops, so no mouse pad, but since I'm finishing this entry on Nagi, and Nagi's mouse is hurt, I have to use a regular mouse, and I'm running it over a copy of a HVG magazine. The one about the Hungarian Real State market.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Cleaner. On tv-tv... the news on the CBS.
42. FAVOURITE SOUND?
The sound of a man cumming, specially if I'm making him cum. Also like the sound of the wind, the night and the rain.
43. MUSIC OR TV?
Book or Internet.
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME???
I've two homes and usually move between them. I guess the farthest from both so far has been Paris... and I'm hardly willing to go any farther. Okay, maybe Lisbonne, but that's all.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I can think. I know, I know, it's quite unheard, but yeah, I can do it. Only please don't go telling others because I do not want to perform this strange ability in a circus. I was born this way, I'm normal, just like the others.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Budapest.
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
None, which is why I'm not sending it!!!

I wasn't Alone

Morning. Fuck, I have so much in my mind, so many fucking stupid concerns that I would rather run away from everything and everybody and lock myself away in a cave, deep in a mountain surrounded by a haunted forrest, so that nobody reaches me. Yes, this fucking shit about the trip, which should be something that makes me happy, is making me UNHAPPY. It pisses me off and I HATE having so much pressure on me.

Anyway, I breath in deep, smile when I want to kill, brew my ink-like coffee and cook my oatmeal. I chat with my dear friend and co-worker, Marie-Julie, and to my surprise, she tells me about this e-mail sent by a philosophy teacher of the UCR about the same problem, with the same conclusions I just posted here: Thanks to the CAFTA, Education is going down the toilet. The dear teacher, being a philosophy teacher, ignored the economical impact on the copy-stores, that will see reduced they workload and their clientelle. Indeed, bye- bye education, hello mysery. There will be no sense in giving scholarships to students when they won't be able to pay the books, and lets be honest, most classes at the university do not use only one book. How many will be willing to pay up to $50 for a book of which you'll only need one chapter? And sorry, but in here $50 is quite a hefty amount, you don't just put in your wallet and spend on cookies.

No, this "education" thing will be reserved only for the paying people, for the rich people, and after so many private universities springing up everywhere, we all know what's the motto of those universities: "You pay, you pass". Sure, sure, some people flunk there too, but still, the level of education is so poor, the quality of many of the teachers is so ridiculously low, that even if you pass, you really know nothing. Well, the few students that could have gotten a decent education, that have been selected by their grades, their results in tests, that have earned scholarships for excelling their subjects will be long gone.

Explain to me what's the brilliant future full of opportunities for a nation with no educated peopulation. Why's so good to defend the copyrights, while at the same time giving up to the US the copyright over every single technological innovation, research and development done by Costa Ricans? What kinds of jobs will be created when you can't sell our labor force as "specialized" because no kid has the money to go to the university, and yet, the uneducated sphere isn't cheap enough to compete with the Indian, Nicaraguan, Chinese labor force?

And on top of all that, an FTA with China is on the shore. What about our old mom&pops stores? What about the micro, small and medium enterprises we have tried so hard to help get on their feet, because our governments have been unable, for years, to create decent, dignifying jobs for the population?

The crisis has come just in time, so everything can be blamed on it, not on what really is to blame: the incompetence, the blind greed and corruption that leads people to enforce an illegal presidency and extort and rob a country of what little has left. A president who is the first to break the laws.

Copyrights

Yesterday I went to the Blockbuster to rent a few movies to entice my latest "thing": the SPA-night. It's not like I'm filing my feet every night (though maybe I should thanks to what high heels do to my poor, suffering feet...), or pasting up my face with all kinds of face masks but I do take my sweet time to relax, lie on my bed in comfty clothes, eating comfort food and watching some nice movie, or taking a long shower, washing my face step by step, as you should and then applying body milk leisurely. Yes, in times like this I would like to have my boyfriend arround to help me with the "hard to reach spots". ^_^ Anyways, alone or with a bunch of friends, a spa night is a true delight, and yes, you can get addicted to it. Not like I will replace my working plastic bin for a new foot spa I have no place to store, but I believe I will start improving my foot-spa kit. I was thinking about these efervescent tablets, then there are some special foot creams and oils that relax and sooth your feel that really, really feel like heaven. However, while I get my kit done, I'm content with warm soapy water, candles, some aromatizing essencial oils and and extra moisturizing cream, soft socks afterwards, hot peppermint tea, or ginger, lemon and honey tea, and, Baby, I am in Heaven.

So I went to score some movies at the Blockbuster, and the few movies I wanted were not in.

"When are they being returned?"
"Never," said the guy "due to the CAFTA, we have to get rid of all our knocck offs, so when you rent you take them home forever."

Of course I went for my faves such as Eagel Eye and Skeleton Key, plus some movies I've never seen before, such as "A Good German" by Steven Soderbergh, "Cleaner" and "The Counterfeiters". I gara tell you, "A Good German" is not only a great movie, but it also has a few lines that make you think, and it ain't as pro-semitic as you might think from a WWII movie. I really loved it and I'm happy I've got it.

For today I had a series of to-do things, from which one I couldn't complete due to lack of time: going to Spinning. Oh well, I can go tomorrow. No, please don't think I'm going "healthy". Nothing further from truth. First I want to detox, because modern life does that to you, second, I need some working way to work off accumulated stress from my job and some daily life issues (like my thesis, and sometimes even the pressure on my shoulders to arrange things to spend more time with my boyfriend, which means trying to arrang my vacations, plus the pressure of trying to arrange things so I can go home to Hungary faster than I first expected it. You wouldn't think about it but this really can get you all knotted up). Lastly, because I'd like to get in better condition for some tricks... ^_^ Among the things I've got done, there was picking up a clone from a book (also cloned) our tutor lent us so we could use it to work on the theoretical framework for our thesis. The clone wasn't done, even though they said it was going to be done for today. So I stood there, wrote my journal and waited for my clone to be done.

While I was there, I heard that they too were touched by the CAFTA and the new laws on Copyright it has brought with it. Book cloning wasn't going to happen again, and many books wouldn't be xeroxed. That suddenly got my mental gears moving. Suddenly I was facing the enormity of this. Yes, indeed, we should protect the copyright rights, but in order to make richer the rich? Do the rich people need the nickles and dimes from the pockets of the poor people? There are no exemtions for textbooks. If you take a walk around the Universities of this country, you will find a tight hive of copy places. Prices on copies go cheaper and cheaper and the stacks of booklets, bound, thick anthologies pile up in every corner. Young kids, probably freshmen or so, work there for some money for their studies and other stuff. Copy machines run all day, teachers leave the class material there for the students to pick up. At the State Universities many of the students come from humble homes. Several of them have no money to pay the insulting prices charged for the books needed to study, so they must rely on cheaper ways, and no, the library ain't an option for them. Books at the library are usually not updated, or there are so few copies kept that they are not enough fof all the people that need them. Photocopies are the one way most of students get to have the material they need for their classes. What will happen with them? Evidently, they won't be able to get the material for classes at an affordable price, which will inevitably lead for them to be unable to attend to some classes, simply because the price of them will be taxing. Fewer kids will go to university, fewer will graduate and so the educational level of the population will decrease forcing the labor force back to jobs that can be done without higher scholarship, then putting a ceiling on development, on the future of the population and widening the social and economical gap.

On the other hand, people won't be able to follow several of the current business options, since things like having a copy store will become taxing, since you won't be able to copy many of the books out there to be copied, less people will come for copies, since a lot of the students that would normally survive on that won't be in the university because of the high costs of education, and so, the hive of copy store will be reduced. No students working there, no people making an honest earning out of it, no students... what kind of future is that?

Costa Rica is a poor country and these people are needed, these conditions are needed to make a life, to survive, to work and study and get somewhere in life. What kind of future will we face as a nation, when you cut the more humble layers of society from the chance to educate themselves, and you deny them a way to make a living. You deny them jobs.

I can't stop but smirk at the irony. They promised the people new jobs, more jobs and what they are effectively doing is taking their jobs and their education away. Well done. This is what you get when you let corruption run a country.

It's All About The Name

Wonder what the hell is this? This is the e-card my boyfriend sent me for my "name-day", something Hungarians celebrate. Yes, today is my name-day, and this is one of the many perks of being Hungarian. He asked me whether I was going to throw a party. Well, first of all, I don't even throw parties for my birthday, less for a name-day. I'm not much of the "party-type" as I am of the "celebration" type. So, since in here nobody celebrates it, I was thinking about doing one of my ultimate favorite things in the Universe: celebrate it with the one I love the most: me.

So I was thinking that I could surprise myself with a little something, mostlikely on the line of books or something to write, since I'm a sucker for that kind of stuff, or something lovely and green. Then, for today, I was thinking in either taking myself to the movies or rent a movie. If I decide to go to the movies, I'll treat myself with a nice dinner at some place I like, like Ichiban, or Antojitos (in which case a tequila would be mandatory for the celebration), but if I decide to rent a movie, I'll go "spa" and treat myself like a queen, put on some face mask, do the whole shebang, get a couple of Smirnoff Ice Black and celebrate like the rich and famous.

Truth is... I'm flying up and high, still, envelopped by Anais Nin and her world. I'm feeling also a few stabs of deception, and that's making me colder, less caring... however, oddly, this time I don't care that much for my heart going cold. My mind, my mastermind, has prepared a suitable route fro this and all the little contracts, traps and conditions to detach myself from unpleasantries. I believe I can't change after so many years, and truth is, why should I? So far it has worked like I charm and I am not discarding it for the likes of others.

I am Anais Nin.

One For Independence and Freedom

Unlike it happens in every Aaron Spellingish story, life is not a series of seasons of perfect coincidence. Not everybody falls in love at the same time and breaks at the same time, or lives the "I'm so bored of this fucker that insists in sleeping in MY bed" period at the same time. So it happens that, yeah, I'm in love, and walking around in Cloud No.9, all goofy and giggly, while some of my friends are dragging the "ball and chain" pitifully, and others have "recently regained their freedom". Yes, I've heard that marriage is the only life sentence where you can get parole or your sentence reduced based on bad behavior. And well, yeah, it's not our fault to fall for a trick, or to realize that Prince Charming has a "daytime job" as a Major Son of a Whore, and man, the motherfucker does an EXCELLENT job at it! Ain't our fault if our Knight in Shinny Armor turns out to be a boring asshole that couldn't be motivated to do anything productive or fun, not even if we fall on our knees and suck him until our jaws pop out of place. Ain't our fault if he's grumpy, if he's uninterested, if he has a wondering eye, if he looses his job, if he's too much into his job, if some ball game is more important to him that the whole household and the relationship or if he feels the compulsive need to pick your clothes and do your make up for you (probably he's gay and that's his way to crossdress without crossdressing).

Now, it is our fault when we take it and let it go on. You, "ball and chain" kinds, I'm talking to you. If it feels bad, cut it off, motherfucker! Shit, you go to the doctor with something hurts so it gets better, take a pill for the headache and so, so why don't you do something about that pain in the ass you call "husband", "wife", "boyfriend", "girlfriend" or "you asshole", "you bitch"? Just like an amputation, it might hurt at first, and you may have the feeling of the "limb" still there, but it gets better, and above all, you get to LIVE, so do it! Now it's time to do it! Grant yourself freedom! Break the chain and breath the air like a free man or woman!

Being "alone", or "single" ain't a bad thing, but actually a great thing and one of the few great pleasures of life. However, first of all, you must stop listening to the choir of "wise wives" and all kinds of tradition-keeping assholes that will try to get you into ANY kind of relationship ending in MARRIAGE so that you can be as sour and disgraceful as they are. Yes, marriage is an institution, and so is JAIL (or at least I believe it is, but if jail is not an institution, sure the looney house is!). Singlehood is not an institution because single people do not NEED to add status to their status. Singlehood is as much an institution as Freedom, Independence and Individuality are. More than an institution, it is a Principle: The Principle of Men.

A single is not "lonely" and therefore "unhappy" and "flawed because evidently nobody wants him or her", but rather a free individual who has all the choices in the world. A single person is someone with the innate hability to enjoy his or her own company, laugh, do whatever he or she desires not having to arrange decisions with nobody else. Yes, you see the problem? The power over the SELF gathered entirely WITHIN the self. What's that thing of someone making decisions for its own and procuring its own happiness and ACTUALLY succeeding? Society, out traditional, retrograd society DEMANDS of each of its individuals to put their happiness, their hopes and their future always on the shoulders of someone else, while taking the BURDEN of arranging other people's happiness, hopes and future. Single people get to be happy by their own means, and they do all they want. No more conditioning trips and programs to what the other one might want or the time and budget of the other one. You want to see a movie, and you have the time and the money, then YOU go. No negotiating for hours and then having to commit to see some shit you hate, or having to give it up because your partner doesn't want to go see a "chickflick" or "that movie because it holds no interest to me".

You wanna go see Saw IV in the middle of the night, you go. You wanna see Body of Lies, you go see Body of Lies. You will never see Wall-E, you skip Wall-E. Single life is about you deciding what you want to do and no one having a say. It's a perfect dictatorship, and no need for elections or referendum over diner or vacations. Furthermore, singlehood has many, many other advantages. Your friends are your friends and you see them when you want and as often as you want and go where you want and do what you want. Sex is free, like a buffet: you take anything you desire. Add to it, and everybody knows this and does this: single people can afford the luxury of "going beyond friendship" with their friends. A kiss, a caress, sex... you name it. Freedom grants you all your desires.

Do you still want to get married? Do you still feel that you rather stay in the ball and chain? Do you still think "it was better with him"? Honey, if it feel like you are giving up all this, then it's wrong. The only time when it's okay not to enjoy these gifts of life are when you feel you don't need them, or when the excitement of chosing something together adds more buzzing to the relationship. BUT if you feel your freedom being cut, I plead you: give yourself parole.

Yes, I am happy with Kari, my mate and my One, and he does feel to me like my One, my soulmate and my other half. However, I still fight fiercely for the right of everybody, men and women, to remain single and be respected for that. I remember fondly my singlehood, and yet oddly I don't feel it gone, even though I am no longer single. Remember that singlehood is the flag and the sign of freedom, so if you chose to take it, or if you have been as lucky as to recently regain it, please, for all of us that are no longer single, wear it with pride, live it fully and make us all look up to it as the individual materialization of the one thing that has sent nations into fight and has made men for centuries to dream about: Freedom and Independence.

Singles all around the world, I salute you respectfully!

My Life, My Heart

Well, he went home yesterday, and it's funny how my heart, my body and my mind keep talking so long with him. My hand insists over and over on writing him letters even though my mind can't produce anything other than "Szeretlek" over and over and over. Yes, yes, I love him and I love him so much it's blinding. Once again I'm drowning into an existence dedicated solely to survival, not to life. The plotting of politics, the maneuvering among all kinds of deals, the fishing for information, turning into somekind of flesh machine, a moving doll that presents a fair porcelain surface but encloses darkness and cold inside.

Back at the office, things are as nice and fine as they can get. This existences goes on among technical blabbering, blogs, smiles at the spirited and heartfelt words of our cherished Dragonfly, the scents of violets escaping from some small jar somewhere, the dream of dancing grass carpets extended on a long, long, wuthering land, and ... again, Amazon.com. I feel so close again to Anais Nin and can't but hope and dream to taste her words again, soaked in her surrealistic words, where days and life are closed in a cage of cellulose, layered page after page in soft, ink-scented words and traces. The escape, the avoiding of this harsh, ripping world that has nothing to my taste. Close my eyes to the taste of ashes and live fiercely fighting like a blooddrunk amazon, bow and arrow in hand, killing before asking. Live, live, violently vital and happy, a deceiving mirage of the darkness within, where the child, the maiden, the woman slumbers in oblivion, locked in a bone casket awaiting for the moment to rise and shine.

I retrieve back to live in my head, in my heart, in my words. This is why I can write so much, because this is how I live and this is why I feel such a tremendous love for Anais Nin.

Noseless

Second comment on my picture: "Dude, I can't see you nose!" Geez man, why do you want to see my nose? Do you have a nose fetiche? Maybe wanna check it out, was I doing coke or something? You wanna show it to the doc and ask for a carbon copy of the same? The picture is an artistical filtering, so accentuate the eyes. I call this particular piece "The Eyes of Burana". No idea what a burana is? It's one fucking hell snow storm. And why burana? You ask too much.

Before you ask, because you would, yes, my boyfriend is in town and we are having a great time together. I'm learing things from him, about him that mesmerize me. It awes me the way he's so strong and so determinated. There's like a long fibre going across his self that ties up everything inside him into a pattern that might not be aparent to the naked eye, but which is... bedazzling. I'm in a whirlpool here. Swirling deeper and deeper into the core of his trap, drowning in him. If I am a witch, he's the tempting demon I've made a pact with. ^_^

You know me, I rather don't repeat topics through my blogs, BUT this is one you, my not-Hungarian-speaking darlings, deserve to know.

Work is going smooth... maybe because Mr.B ain't here. I believe tomorrow it's gonna be annoying. Hyne, why can't I have a decent boss in this enterprise? Ever since my days in Mobile all my superiors suck. I'm a bit in the limbo, work-wise. I do keep writing down my tasks of the day on the calendar and cross them out when I complete them, but the noise Mr.B has introduced fucks up my system. It displeases me not to have a clear path, a clear goal, and furthermore, to go on the steps of a scrambled mind that wouldn't be able to connect A to B. Anyway, that's a problem we all know much too well.

My friend Dragonfly is back from her journey in the land of the Aztecs. Have not heard the briefing of all her adventures on the Land of the Sun King and the richness of history weaved with thick, scented blood. Give her time, soon she will partake the secrets of ancient lands of wisdom. I missed her.

I'm talking with Shimmy Gin about meeting with him in these days so he can meet Kari. I guess we are do for tomorrow at a place famous for it's Piňa Coladas. I"m not much of a "Piňa Colada" kind of drinker, but I sure can give it a shot. hey, if it has alcohol it can only be good.

I was supposed to re-start reading something or pick up a new book or continue reading something, but I kinda didn't. Well, now I have better things to do... save that I feel I'm not being as good a hostess as I should. I should really pay more attention to my Kari.

Oh well, me going... should be working, and that depresses me. (I could think of a lot of things I would rather do right now, specially since I have someone with me on whom to perform them... ^_^)

... the dish of love...

it's rather... amusing, how I wasn't aware of things
I might write down in my stories
I just didn't expect to happen to me.

Love brings to Life some peculiar kind of Pain.

Is it... this normal?
Cry for the one you love?
Miss him so much it's irrational?

His words move me
His absense pains me
His dreams make me dream.

I do love my boyfriend.

Excuse me do you... FACTS?

odd... I thought there was something else in here.

I'm kinda down because my boyfriend lost the plane in Madrid. His fault, you mind, not the company's, but hey, this is what you get when you have such a distracted and last-minute kind of boyfriend. Yeah, I know... tell me about it. I'm not upset, as much as I'm sad. I guess I'm just too worried for him staying in Spain where his Spanish vocabulary is reduced to one only word, if he can remember it: puta. Yeah, all you need is love. Yee-peeka-yay.

So I had this meeting with this dude. I was excited he accepted so fast, and now I see why: he's a carbon copy of Mr.B. Down to the hair. Really. So, I was there to know something about something, and I wanted to know something very punctual. It was a matter of answering yes or no. This guy went into telling me a story I wasn't interested in hearing about the eTOM and the structure and how they had this dream where one day the verticality will rule the world, and where everything will concerge in a manager of managers, and in some years from now, with hard working and shit the world would see the light of network elements connected to services and people will "understand". It was already bad when I came into the office and I heard him kissing ass to some dude, so he would get help keeping the herd in track. Shit, so this is such a waste of time? Far more than what I thought.

The manager we were promised is not existing. I lost my temper and asked him to leave all examples out and JUST TELL ME THE FACTS AND THE THEORY. FACT: the hired someone to do something, which will start on Monday. That something is ... a promise. Teach people, get to know the enterprise, find out who to do what they will be requested to do... (I've got a glipse of the charged amount and... holy shit, for a pile of nothing that will probably never be put to work, its one fucking big load of dough...) Like my boss, who wanted me to recruit him into his project (which is just like this one: all name, no content), this Lil' Genius wanted to recruit ME so he could tell me the entire story of how we all will see the light of the eTOM and follow that beacon into a bright tomorrow.

Sure. Watch me.

The point is that this has absolutely no future and no use for us.

You know, the more I work in here, the more I want to get out of here. It pains me to work among such a group of incompetent dicks.

A Picture o' Me

I thought you might like it. Yep, I worked it out to pull the effect of my eyes, which on return needed a bit of darkening... and I'm not perfectly happy with the effect of it because it's not as smokey and smooth as I wanted them to look. Was thinking on making them green, you know, my fave color, but that was gonna be far more complex than what I can afford with the time I have. So this is it, a fourth version of the same picture, something pulled out for you to have a picture to stare at when you are looking at my avatar.

"This is her."

Yes, this is me, but not all of me... No. You will hardly ever get that. Oh, yes, I know you are smiling knowingly. You know that no matter what, you have me... you have a part of me, don't you? I would like to ask you if this knowledge pleases you, but I find the question futile. I know the answer, even if you deny it. Yes, you do. You live for this, and now, you'll grip into whatever small scrap you have, whatever small piece from what looks like escaping your hands, to know, forever know, that I'm yours, that there is a bit belonging to you, that extends far past a faded picture of piercing, big, dark eyes and faded, hinted smooth lips you have touched before.

Darling, your cruelty lives in me as well. We are, after all, siblings.

Mak'n sum-sum diffikultizzle fo' sum homiez 2 get

I kno' it's been quite sum T-I-to tha-mizzle since I wrote murda like dis. Gonna be shizzle to read? Ya bet, homie! wasn' sucha pain back when that netizzle had tha Gizzoogle, but that one went to tha shit. Rememba what was like to texitilizzle tha whole shizzle? G, it was a riiiiiiide! I's talk'n 'bout luuuuuv, mah homiez! Yo! Wow-wow-wow, yeepy-yo-yeepy-yay.

Wha' me doin' dis? coz mah boo no know no englishizzle n he grabs tha whole shizzle and work it wit sum translatizzle to get tha hang o' wha I writtizzle. So no frott'n shit I's gonna give 'im sum E-Z ride! So I's lay'n low, lett'n tha time go by, puff'n on lye, hop'n dis sista gets high... n all shizzle-mizzle wit tha job smooths down n goez suave... ya hear me say'n? Dis is anotha dawg house produktion.

Fuck, no shit! I'm out of coke! The fucking hell... I need to score some more... Coca-Cola, you moron! The fuck with this people!



The tutor of the thesis decided to play Ghost on us and has gone missing, no signs of life from his side. Oh goodie. But after Kari is gone back home, if he hasn't made an appearance, I gonna hunt him down. There's a ghostbuster, a Winchester for that Ghost. That thesis and the outcoming diploma is my ticket home.

Heartbroken

This is not whom I love. This is not to whom I gave my heart. My heart is falling into pieces and lies scattered on the floor. I close my eyes filled with tears, tears of anger and wish with what little is left of my heart, of my soul to be all a big, fat lie. I open my eyes and it is still there. My heart is in such excruciating pain I could shout and lose my sanity. Hyne knows I loved you, and I loved you more than anything. I placed my family, PEOPLE beneath you and I would have given everything for you and now you do this? Unspeakable.

It is not a secret for anyone that I love IBM. My first two laptops were IBM ThinkPads. Omi, MY beloved Omi, whom I place above everything and everyone, and who's far more important to me than even my lovely and faithful Nagi, IS an IBM ThinkPad, one of the last true IBM ThinkPads, untainted by the unclean hands of Lenovo, whom I consider a disgusting worm crawling under everything that's pure and beautiful in the world. I have driven both Jules and Shimmy INSANE with my fixation over IBM ThinkPad. Jules wanted me to go "I have no idea, I don't remember", and Shimmy did even the impossible to drive me to the lands of Dell and Mac, and yet I never gave in. I accepted buying Nagi, an Acer Aspiron because I always considered him an assistant, a subordinate of Omi, the brain, the King, The Great, and even said I couldn't care less if Nagi went missing or got damaged during the travel. Omi is my heart and my soul and him I'd care for with all I have. I still think and still believe him to be the best thing that has ever happened to mankind (after me).

Well, first they sell out the ThinkPad and all the hardware part to this "Lenovo" character. It made me cry bitterly in the arms of my friend, mourning the loss of hope in the future. A life without IBM ThinkPad was as bleak as you can imagine it to be. There's nothing worse. I came to terms with the loss, survived, and now this.

"IBM Offers To Move Laid Off Workers To India"

The blow has been too much. It's deception upon pain, upon my hurt, upon desolation. Pay close attention, my dear children: This is the end of the American Dream. 4000 people laid off last month, and the solution is to ship them off to the India, where wages are insultingly low. Of course, it looks tremendously nice: for the worker you offer a job, for the economy, you wipe a chunk of unemployment as if it never existed. For you, well, a substantian cut in the expenses. It's pretty simple, you take the unemployed and place them in a part of the world where you can afford to pay him or her a tiny part of their original salary. Well, things are far cheaper there, you mind, so you don't need the whole $4000 you made in the US, but you can make it with the $100 you'll get for your job... which, BTW, has some differences regarding workload, schedules, and, of course, your rights as worker. BUT you get to have a job in what, well, you've been doing. Ummm, of course, nobody is saying a word about RETIREMENT because, well, ummm... that might be managed according to the local customs, you mind. Oh, and learn to speak, what do they speak in India? Oh yes, is that funny language with letters that look like the spatial writings from sci-fi series. Or maybe, is the Elf language?

The good ol' American worker might be outraged and has all the right to be so. He's being taken away from the land where he has all the rights because, baby, the American is the LOCAL in America. In India, he will become the foreigner, the last one, the mocked one, the minority, the one that has to adjust and against whom the law would judge if a dispute of rights is between a Hindu and him. Locals always have the upper hand, homie! So yeah, it looks bleak for the American being laid off, but what can he or she do? Fuck, people has to work in order to support the family, and there are a lot of immigrant in the world, he or she wouldn't be the first, and.. they make it somehow, right? Right? Yes, they do, honey.

Only also think about this: if IBM secures you the job in India, it's a job you are taking from a Hindu. The Government of India might be counting on those jobs to curb their own problems of unemployment. Countries usually also allow the functioning of this kind of enterprises, and make all kinds of concesions in taxes and so, to create job opportunities for their people. Lousily paid, offering terrible conditions, near to the reality of service-sweatshops, but in the national statistics the question is not: is your job fair? Only do you work or not? The more people you have employed, the better. Now, if the Americans start flowing in, and they don't bring their American money, but take the Hindu jobs, and the Hindu lands, and the Hindu houses, what happens with the local population of India? Gets unemployed. Unemployment will start rising there, and at the same time, there will be more people buying, probably people who has no real idea of what things cost, which will probably promote the rising of the prices, which will give the final push to those who could barely survive to go under the surviving level. Hunger, desperation, inflation AND unemployment... export the crisis to some other country you don't really care, as long as they provide you what you need nice and cheap.

Then comes the unavoidable rising in crime. Yeah, yeah, big cities are so dangerous... wanna see dangerous in one of those "exotic lands"?

This is not a solution, this is criminal and shameless.

From this moment on, I break my bond with IBM. They shall take care of Omi, because Omi is not to blame and he's still perfect, but I want nothing more, ever again, with IBM.

Oh Hyne, I forgot!

Sorry, sorry, sorry! I was supposed to post this yesterday, but I'll do it now:

Dear Shimmy Gin,

The stars shine for you and the Sun rises each day to praise your greatness. The moon wishes to be as bright and magnificent as you are! You helped me fix my Nagi and then fix our Internet connection AGAIN and told us about True Blood. (I hate Sookie, btw.) May the greatness of your actions surpass history and become the tale of which the children with the future are raised!

You are MAGNIFICENT, my friend!! ^_^

Our hearts are with you.

A New Week, a New Month and a Brand New Bullshit

You are all going to have a blast out of this. Yes, it's work again. It's again:

"I want you to do (for me) several proposals for a project, with the definition of the tasks and in the first stage I want the people to study if we are complying with the requirements of the new rulebook, and then some second and third stages... and I want to see something for all four... well, maybe you can put the Customer Experience in the third, yes, and draw me up a Responsability Matrix..."

"Boss, if you remember the (FUCKING!!!) expensive workshop of three days (to which you made me go, because I didn't want to, and it was a total waste of time, but you thought it was Mana from Heaven and even asked for all the FUCKING didactic material and the SHIT pasted on the walls for the teams to do their STUPID dynamics, and on top of that I had to SIGN some FUCKING contract promising I'll stay in the company for two more YEARS!), it was clear that we (meaning YOU, you lazy ass motherfucking moron) have to prepare the the theme and the main objective, and the team prepares the schedule, draws up the tasks and define the responsability matrix."

"But I need something to do the proposal!"

Yes honey, YOU need it, well, how about this: YOU DO IT! It's your job after all, now isn't it? If you can't do it, don't get into it, do not commit to it, stop trying to be someone you are not or something you are not. Want some news? Dude, nobody respects you. You are a clown at the building, and many other buildings. No matter the proposal you bring to the table, the problem is that it comes from YOU. Nobody will ever take you seriously because you are nothing but this little son of a whore whose only Hyne given talent is "complain". You open your big trap and it doesn't close. You go yapping and yapping and people is already tired and want to shoot you in the head and they have stopped paying attention to you a long time ago, or they are thinking: "what a LOSER!", and so, no matter what you try to say, you could warn Troy of the Wood Horse of the Greeks and nobody would listen. Haven't you noticed how people avoid you? Haven't you noticed that from the moment you utter the first word people turn their faces and lift their eyebrows? You don't need to read minds to know what they are thinking: "Here goes the LOSER again." You think you are so bright and so smart and have such great remarks and bring systems down because you know "truth" and you can show them that "that system won't work in your environment". Motherfucker, then why in the fucking hell do you go in the first place? And haven't you thought it doesn't work because of you? Because you and your stupid head can't apply it?

Think about it, LOSER!

My friend Christina Blake tells me to ignore him, and well, dude, that's what I've been doing for a year now. He simply gets to my nervs. What I can't really understand is how does he expect to get anything with his inexisting level of organization. How does he pretend to be a boss? What does he think being a boss is about? Ordering people and cashing the big checks? Dude, you gara hear this: the other day he went arguing with me that the boss is not responsible for what the team does. Fuck, of course it is! No, no, no... he simply gives the orders and the people is each responsible of what they do. Dude, but if you are the boss and you put them to do this or that task, it is your responsability that they succeed because you gave them the task, you chose them based (allegedly) on their capabilities. If you put an inadecuate, ignorant person to do a task, and that task fails, well, it's not the ignorant's problem because he was ignorant and wouldn't know how to do it in the first place (of course, the ignorant must say before head that he or she has no idea how to do it), but the MORON's who put the ignorant there in the first place. Add to it, bosses are supposed to supervise the job, so if a flaw passes through, dude, YOU are responsible!

Well, he wasn't willing to understand this basic true, so I told him that that's the way it is in the Internal Control Law. Law, btw, which has been corrected according to International Internal Control Standards, such as COSO, which was developped after the Enron case. Well, you know what was his answer: "Well, the Law is wrong."

Dude, you couldn't be more dense even if you wanted to!

###

Other than that, my February starts with colors. ^_^ Yep, I wrote up some of my tasks with coloured pencils in my desk calendar, so they look happy. The month started a bit rocky and emotional, but nothing that can't be handled. Had a horrible nightmare last night, and woke up all scared at 3 in the morning, because I was dreaming of this house that was so unsafe and vampires and other evil things were trying to break in. Yeah, yeah, yeah... MAYBE I shouldn't stay up to ... FUCK!!!! I missed yesterday's episode of Supernatural!!! And it was fourth season!! T_T Well, that's disappointing... I really dislike Warner Brothers now because I don't get a chance to see them some other day too. It's so unfair because this season is a killer! Has some lame assed chapters, you mind, but it has a lot of good stuff. BTW, season one... Sammy has some bod!! ^_^ Good grace, he's one smoking piece of ass! I'd have him anyday with French Fries and a big coke.

My plans for this month, so far, are simple:

1. Get the thesis advancing into chapter three, which is the processing of the data, for which we will need to get ahead with the visits to the ISLAND, now is only one, not two. We are going for Venado, which reminds me I'll have to rewrite the entire thing. Good thinking. Why Venado? The fuck knows. Nobody knows with this dude.
2. Do something for my German, because I'll need to push up that one FAST. (Specially with some alternate plans I have...)
3. Do some Spring Cleaning and throw away as many things as I can.
4. Sell the batch of books I don't need and don't read anymore. (Should really start considering selling all my mangas, or at least a good chunk of them.)
5. Get my job and my groups organized, which leans heavily to the side of the SLA's.
   

You know, this fourth point is important for serveral things. As I wrote it down, I thought about my future, my wishes and desires, and well, it includes going back home. I guess I better start getting rid of all unnecesary stuff and remain light for travel. There are a lot of things I don't need to go with me home, and so, I could start already getting rid of them, don't you think?

My life home is closer and closer, and less of a dream each day. I love that!

A Piece of My Mind

You may have seen an entry titled "Care" and you may have been able to read it and see it mising, or maybe wanted to know what it was about and now can't find it, and you wonder: "what's the mystery of Care? Was it something about the Medi-Care?" No baby, it was about me having my first fight with my beloved, and I went venting and kicking the door, smashing the dishes and the whole: "you know what? fuck yourself very much for all I care!" And that was the Care. But things went nice and straight again in a record two hour conversation. Dudes, this thing does work! I know it's hard to say what you have to say when you are upset, specially if you are like me: mame first, ask later, BUT please try it out! (BTW, this is not my invention. Celia Cruz said the key of her happy marriage was that they never went to bed angry with each other.) I'm explosive and I have "sequels", but my beloved and unique, and adorable, and PERFECT and magnificent and Best-One-Ever boyfriend, to whom altars should be erected, because, really, he's an angel and a sweetheart, well, this outstanding human being ACTUALLY came back, heard me out and stayed with me and offered real solutions!

I love him!

However, this is not what I'm going to write about. Only I gara go lunch now, so I'll continue later.

-------

Okay, I'm back. Today's topic is "World Crisis Bullshit". No, wait a minute, there is a world crisis going on, but let me tell you what's the fuck about it. You don't need to be an economist to figure this out. I mean, any half-brained MBA can also figure it out. Please look at some very superficial things anyone might have been able to pick up from being in the vicinity of a newspaper.

- Banks go breaking due to sub-prime mortgages. (This sub-prime means that this mortgages were given to people with very little chance to honour their debts. Interestingly, they were charged higher rates. Well, yeah, you have to try and recover your investment as fast as you can, and you want your risk to be paid as high as possible, but please think: the motherfucker has no job and no means to pay for food, how in the fucking hell you expect this poor bastard to pay you those rates?)

- One by one banks go breaking or getting into serious trouble welling up to Argentine levels. Hell yeah! Corralito for the U.S.! - My, my... all due to the sub-prime? It seems everybody went greedy and wanted a piece of the big-paying-cake.

- Banks scream for a bail out and pay people to shower the audience with threats: if we don't get it you will loose your jobs! I distinctly remember this because I saw it in the CBS and I would have loved to kick the bitch's teeth in for calling the senators names for doing what they are supposed to do: protect the best interest of the nation. Those $700B, my darlings, come from taxpayers' money. Money that could be spent on health, education, and many other different aids that go directly to those who need it.

- Banks get the bail out, which is not nearly enough, they are still in shit up the neck, and still pay BILLIONS in bonuses to their employees.

- Thousands and thousands of people are fired and there are declarations of intents to fire many more. But the Wall Street brokers and other people in the especulation business keep getting their hands on the money.

So where's the bullshit? The bullshit is that the especulation sphere has infected the economy to the point where all the bullshit and all the bets burst and the thing came falling down in pieces, and yet, they put the weight, the cost of it on the LITTLE PEOPLE! Everybody was made a part of this big Las Vegas thing, as if everybody's job where on the pool table, and yet not one of the little people being put at risk of losing everything is listened and let have a say on the whole deal. If the bet is a winner, the broker and all the speculators get the profit, the little worker gets... to keep his job. But if the bet goes sour... the little man pays the price. So yeah, I call this World Crisis a huge load of crap because a few greedy sons of a whore made the fucking risky bets to get the money without sweating it and when it went fucked up, they cried for a bail out, got the money and ran away with it, letting the little people unemployed and having to deal with the consequences.

When some "big heads" say that this world crisis will be worse than the Big Depression, I'd say, don't worry my fellow Proletarian, we are getting a share of the same, but it will be bad for all those Capitalist Pigs who will have a hard time trying to find some source to rip off. Yes, we depend on a lot of things, but think of this, my dear friend: we are already living humbly, close to the soil, so our fall will be small, but those who have stomped on the heads and shoulders of those below them, and have elevated themselves above their brothers and believed to be a chosen kind, those will suffer a higher fall, and the humiliation of realizing they are of the same blood as us, the little people. We may have a harder time going to wait tables, work the field and fix cars, but they... they will die before doing so.

It is not harder my dear, it's hard for those who have to admit they have cheated and have been freeriding on the work of others.

I am happy, you know? Happy because each new realization show the world that John Maynard Keynes was right, and that the market needs to be regulated or it will be eaten up and fucked up by the especulators.