Sometimes there's someone in your life you care deeply about, love them to bits and pieces and you carry their destiny in your heart. When they suffer you suffer too, and if you see then happy and hopeful, you are happy and hopeful too. Then sometimes this people are deep in a very bad or very thight situation, and it pains you endlessly to see them like that, and each step they take brings them deeper and deeper into this black hole of hopelessness and chaos. You'd like to help them, and often you reach out and try as hard as you can to help them, but each time around your hand gets slapped back. It only serves to give you more pain, and nothing changes.
When it happens with friends, it's hard, but it's often harder when it happens with family, or someone (friends or family) that's very, very close to you. We have such a situation currently going on with my Godmother. We are handtied here, unable to help her because she doesn't let anyone help her, while constantly complaining about family abandoning her. With friends, you can prepare and bring yourself to the point where you decide to let go of your friend, when the relationship becomes toxic, but what do you do with the relationship with a family member starts running in circles and starts leaking toxicity? You can't let go of family, because, well, it's family. Blood stays, so what should you do?
You don't need to deny your family, but you can certainly - like with any other person - draw a line. You can tell your relative that you can see that your attempts at helping are not bringing any positive results, so while you love them a lot and will always be there for what you can do for them, you'll pull out of the current situation. You won't be giving any more many to the relative who constantly nag family for money and never takes responsability for it's finances, because there are other pockets to take the heat of their stupidity. You won't be dedicating any more of your time to the marital or relationship problems of your relative because no matter what you say things never get better, and it's taking a toll on you. You won't be spending any more on medication for a family member who everyday wakes up with a new sickness that turns out to be a figment of their imagination.
It's family, but you can let go. It's family but you can break the cycle. It is family but you can stop being their crutch, and ask them to stop being a burden on your shoulder, because that's only causing you pain and it's giving them no relief an no help. It takes more time to prepare, more strenght and determination, but sometimes, it comes the situation when you have to stand up, not only for yourself but also for your family, so take a moment, consider things well and remember, support isn't about always being on the same side, support is about helping, and when you can't do any more to help someone, then help yourself.
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