Jul 13, 2012

Does It Worth Holding On?

Everything in life has its moment and its period. I remember a friend of mine telling me about this guy she used to like, and who liked her in return, but their lives never seemed to align for them to be together. She was well set at her job, and had worked hard to get in the position she was in then, with incredible connections and benefits that allowed her to finally make things happen. She also was taking care of her aged  parents. He has a job that gets him jumping around the whole planet constantly. With not one stable homebase, his job demands him to be one day in New York and three days later be in Seoul, only to happen a week later in Caracas. He would have loved to marry her and have her join his gypsy life, and she would have preferred if he would stay with her, at least on the days when he's not being summoned here and there. They tried to make things work, but they didn't. She wasn't upset when she told me, but said something wise to me: "things will happen in their own time. Not in my time, not in his time, but their own time".

She let go of her pretentions to force this relationship into working, and though she remains friends with this guy, she's happy, and letting things follow their own course.

Not everybody is as wise as this friend of mine, but instead seem to believe that holding into something that doesn't work anymore, would make it work again. Holding into a broken relationship, because they don't want to give up, but live from the memories of the days when everything was beautiful. Hold into a crappy job because back in the day it used to be such a joy. Some even hold into old hobbies and projects that no longer click with them but where they grew into being big names. Yes, you can get tired of a hobby, you can grow into a "plateau", stagnation or a point when you feel that nothing else can be added. That's the moment to either make a break or call it quits. However a lot of people refuse to let these go. They may have, say a program (video blog, thematic blog, streaming, podcast, newspaper, forum) or one of these communities I mentioned before, and get to the point where they start to repeat themselves, or fall off the original topic or intention (like a community built around sharing tips on scrapbooking and turning into a group of people feeding on gossip and reading about celebrities).

Not letting go often deals more damage, than gracefully recognizing that a project, a relationship or a group has come to an end. The forced continuation, rips off the virtues it had in the begining, kinda like not letting go of someone who has died, and carry the corpse with yourself everywhere you go, expecting it to come back to life anytime. Have you seen expired relationships or programs? TV shows running on a season 10, where the story has gone bleached, the plot is more and more exagerated and stupid, just to try and spark the old flame.

Yes, some things last for a very, very long time, but others don't, and that's not a bad thing. Like in the past post about death, when you let the end of a project or a relationship come, and let it go gracefully, you keep the good memories, you respect and dignify the experience, and are left with a good, wholesome memory that allows you to build on, add to your life and prepare you for the next adventure.

When a writer get's old in the same topic, or the n-th follow up on a washed off story that sent them into stardom, or when your radio program lost the spark and they take on any explosive topic to get the audience excited on cheap tricks, don't be afraid, if they don't let go, you can. And if you are the one watering up the soup of your project, be brave, let the last portion to be served and prepare for the next project in your life.

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