Jul 31, 2009

The Bragging Rights of Mankind

Lately I'm getting kind of mixed up with the "numbers" of the dates. My last entry was on the 29th, but that constanty felt like "yesterday" or something around "tomorrow". Well, it was not. It was Wednesday, and Today, thanky the All Mighty and small miracles, is FRIDAY. Shall I express with a usual "happiness dance" just how freaking happy I am that it FINALLY is Friday? Then again, this week I wouldn't mind any other day of the week. I have finally moved to another area, and am out of the process of Mr. B. Thanks Hyne for the small favors.

New office, new functions, new assignments, new boss, new guardrobe, new furniture... Yes, life is good, and it's even better when you are doing what you like to do. Don't you think? ^_^

And talking about what you "like to do" (and this is not another plotbunny for a sassie SNP slash fic, though I do have in mind this awesome idea about a --- never mind), the other day I was watching an episode of Girls of the Playboy Mansion (yes, I watch that, thank you), and there was this "seek for the 55th aniversary Playmate". Well it happened that one of the contestants was the daughter of a Playmate, which Mr. Hefner had as girlfriend for around 3 years. Nothing unusual there, only that it got me thinking about, why a man would publish pictures of his girlfriend all naked and for other men to lust and jerk off to her. I mean, one would think that men are usually jealous and they don't want to share their women with other men. Well, most of them are not wiling to share. I mean, if I were to tell Kari that, hey, I'm flying over to California to pose for Playboy on the nude, I'm pretty sure he would not like the idea, and probably would even make an attempt, however feeble, to keep me from getting naked for the camera. And it's not because he thinks I'm not pretty enough, for I'm too fat for the pictures, or too small chested, or too brunet, or whatever. It's a matter of him not really liking the idea of having other men drooling and lusting over my naked body. (Not like his feelings in this matter would stop me if I were set on doing it, but whether I'm sensible to his opinion or go after my own head, he would still have those feelings...)

So why would Hefner actually have his women spread in glossy paper for his subscribers and ocasional newstand purchasers? Well, first, because he can, and second, because there comes another feature seen both in men and women alike: the bragging instinct. Of course, most men don't parade their women on "gentlemen" magazines, but must of us know how men like to show of their women with the sexiest clothes ever. Either for their own pleasure, or for sharing with the crowd, when a man has a beautiful women at his side, he usually (unless he's somewhat unhinged) like her to dress sexy so that other men can see, desire and die of envy because HE has that sexy piece of ass. Many women, also like to be displayed that way, so I guess there's no hurt in that, but before the feminist society roars up and tears down men for objectify them and display them as prizes or "just bodies", let's get clear with something first: everybody brags.

Sure, us women don't usually dress our men in skimpy clothes and have them walk around half naked for other women to admire their body, but we do objectify men, and we are not more subtle about it. I mean, you sure know the case where the chick shows around the engagement ring she got, or the jewelry, the car, the purse... Our society is not used to display the body of men naked, so we don't dress them in a boxer and a wife beater, but the "worth of men" is actually on other things. Socially, that worth is his capability to "provide". Women sit around and brag about what their men bought them, and what they have. His job, his car, his bank account. Seldom someone brags with the brain of the other, and I don't mean about winning prizes and competitions, but brag about just how good the other is at some intellectual task.

Though objectifying people is wrong, I'd say the need of bragging has a double purpose: first, we want to be assured of our choice, because probably looking for another mate is a very difficult task, and we don't want to be doing it again, and second, we need our entourage to accept our choice. Here's either because we want our entourage to see out mate as one of their own, or for a merely competitive impulse, where we want to be assured that we have "the best choice ever", and therefore, in the eyes of our entourage, that improves our standing. Kind of like a "hunter thing": the better the prey you get, the better and more skilled you are, and truth to be told, none of us want to be a "collector", a "reaper" in this: we all want to be the best hunter.

So, what makes us that "best hunter"? Bragging so much and so good we "talk" ourselves into the "best hunter" position? Certainly, our "prey" makes us a hunter, and the prey's qualities and how our entourage receive them ranks us into the different degrees of huntership. My question now is: what do we brag about?

Looks, money, skills, bed skills, connections, social standing... but what do each of us tend to brag more about? What makes us prouder?

In my case, two things are simply invaluable for bragging: sex performance and education. Sex I rate considering different categories, which is much like an Iron Chef America grading. There goes creativity, delivery, wording, sounds, rhythm, ease or confidence, lenght of each "time", number of times and how many times and how good does he make me cum. (I had years of experience to perfect my metrics, so yeah, I can go that detailed.) But when it comes to education, a lot of factors come in consideration, and they are mainly related to what interests me or what can impress me. Certainly a man who can quote and work into a conversation the physics' treaties worked out by Albert Einstein won't amaze me, or a man who knows just about anything about stars and planets won't sweep me off my feet, but they would rather bore me, but a man who knows his classics, can make references to good books... that can make me surrender. These are the things that impress me from a man, and the things I brag about.

On the other hand, we also tend to brag about things we suddenly find awesome about our mate and which we want others to admire. So, at the end, while we don't get tired of our mates and don't think of them as our "worst half", we handle around this box of "bragging items", some of them standard for us, and some of them that come as "extras" attached to the given person, that may or may not end up included into our permanent standard item, and so we go around publishing them to our entourage. If each of us were owner of a magazine, how many of our "significant others" would have made it to their pages? Covers, centerfolds... you name it. And that's because, in the end, we all brag. It's part of who we are.

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