I actually had another post prepared (oh my Hyne! I'm preparing posts now! Where will the world go after this?), but this particular topic grabbed me tight and ain't letting me go. The topic of the day is: "real life: why should we put up with it?"
Yesterday I went to the company's shrink for my weekly appointment (weekly so far. Now we are on a two-week spacing), and I must say I was quite disappointed. I won't delve into the intricate details of how the shrink danced back from everything she said and egged me to do last week, which I consider highly unprofessional, but rather concentrate on the "message of the week". The words of wisdom came from two opposite sources, which, I believe, according to the Shrink 101 textbooks must say they "compensate" and "help the patient to receive the advise better". Please lady, try not to insult my intelligence. On one side I presented her with a real problem, for which I wanted a solution maybe different and perhaps more effective than my current solution. The problem was that I'm getting really pissed with Mr.B's tendency to follow a "speech protocol". Whenever he speaks to me he follows the next script:
1. Greeting: Hello.
2. Show personal interest: How have you been? How was [time since last saw the employee]? (and in case of any particular activity, seminar, course, meeting, ask about that too.)
3. Ask or demand whatever you called in the first place for.
It pisses me off because it reeks its fake. Not like I would be happy with him actually showing interest for my life, because we are not friends, and there's a very, very, very slim, almost anorexic-meets-bulimic-meets-suicidal chance of us EVER becoming friends, but I would really want him to drop the charade. The solution I currently use is to answer everything with just one word, monosyllabic if possible.
"Hello"
"Hi"
"How are you?"
"Fine."
"How was your day after work?"
"Good."
"How was the seminar you attended."
"OK."
"I need you to...."
My solution isn't ideal, since I can't stop him from doing it, but it allows me to "get through the crap" faster. I thought maybe she could help me here, but all she said was:
"Would you get anywhere by talking to him?"
"No," I answered. Evidently if I can't get him to take charge of more vital and important stuff, or to request him to stop speaking to me with so much outrageously disgusting sexual inuendo (aprticularly gay sex inuendo), how could I make him stop feigning interest?
She said nothing, only looked into my eyes meaningfully. Well, that was helpful. I've got myself to that same conclusion, but I was actually expecting an EXPERT to point me in some other direction I may be missing. From here started the two-penny speech of "reality is that most of the people are lazy and/or dumb and you have to deal with it. I can't expect to change them, or force them to adapt to you". In a Chopraesque way she started recalling all those cases in which from a team only the 20-40% work and the rest simply do nothing and reap the benefits. Now, of course I realize that's reality, but it doesn't mean it's okay, or that I must accept it as "the way it is and the way it's okay". Just because that's "reality" it doesn't mean we should let it continue that way and do nothing about it.
So we were locked in this position, she pushing for the lazy to keep parasiting over the hard working, and me pushing the envelop to empower the hard working to shake of the leech shamelessly stealing his reward. Then she came up with a "reason" that really touched a sensitive spot.
"You are very smart, more than average, and you possess yourself a priviledged analytical abitity. That's paired with your pride to do a good job and your drive to do things, your incredible proactivity. You are to like the others, you are part of a suffering minority and you must learn to leave with the average, because the average is bigger and they have all the important contacts."
I was flabbergasted. So, suddenly I'm some sort of genius, which I am not, and just because I'm so fucking smart and so fucking analytical and so fucking hard working (which, really, I'm so not!), I have to put up with assholes expecting me to do their jobs and leaning back, waiting for me to finish things? I have to ACCEPT assholes leaning back and expect me to earn THEIR paychecks? Well, if I do that, I would certainly not be smart at all, now would I?
First of all, lets clear our a few things: I'm smart, I won't deny that, but I'm not smarter. I'm just as smart as the next person. There are a lot of people much smarter than me, an many much less smart than me. I'm not a "gifted analyst", or "priviledged analyst", I just happen to like analize people's behavior. Other people like to draw, sketch, read minds, build, have exceptional sense of perspective, love to analyze and forecast the market. That's what regular people do. It makes us unique, yes, but doesn't make us "priviledged". I've no "incredible proactivity", because if she failed to notice, I'm a reactive type. Balanced A-B leaning towards the B-type personality, a.k.a., I enjoy the ride rather than rushing to the goal. As for the "hardworking" part, bug off. Really, I keep four blogs, do ten thousand things at the same time, write a journal, sometimes indulge in an ocasional Supernatural episode, how's that making me "hardworking"? I'm not a busy little bee, but I do like doing my job, when I have a job to do, and I'm serious about it and I expect people to be serious about it.
So, once stated that I'm just another regular fellow, another Jane Doe in a sea of Jane Does, why can't I expect others to apply themselves and work as hard as I do? If I can take my job seriously, why can't I expect others to do the same? Aren't we all being paid the same? What makes lazy sons of bitches so special that they can procrastinate and watch porn all day at the office while I do their jobs? Because news flash: they were hired for that job because they can do it, so they should.
I agree, you can't expect people to be equally smart. Some people are, some people don't, and that's a matter of capability, but laziness and shamelessness is not a matter of personal capabilities, but a matter of personality flaws, and those should not be accepted, but corrected. Or what? Companies must overlook the loses caused by those who come only to engross the expense bills and collect the paycheck?
I am not accepting this, no matter how "reality" this is.
Yesterday I went to the company's shrink for my weekly appointment (weekly so far. Now we are on a two-week spacing), and I must say I was quite disappointed. I won't delve into the intricate details of how the shrink danced back from everything she said and egged me to do last week, which I consider highly unprofessional, but rather concentrate on the "message of the week". The words of wisdom came from two opposite sources, which, I believe, according to the Shrink 101 textbooks must say they "compensate" and "help the patient to receive the advise better". Please lady, try not to insult my intelligence. On one side I presented her with a real problem, for which I wanted a solution maybe different and perhaps more effective than my current solution. The problem was that I'm getting really pissed with Mr.B's tendency to follow a "speech protocol". Whenever he speaks to me he follows the next script:
1. Greeting: Hello.
2. Show personal interest: How have you been? How was [time since last saw the employee]? (and in case of any particular activity, seminar, course, meeting, ask about that too.)
3. Ask or demand whatever you called in the first place for.
It pisses me off because it reeks its fake. Not like I would be happy with him actually showing interest for my life, because we are not friends, and there's a very, very, very slim, almost anorexic-meets-bulimic-meets-suicidal chance of us EVER becoming friends, but I would really want him to drop the charade. The solution I currently use is to answer everything with just one word, monosyllabic if possible.
"Hello"
"Hi"
"How are you?"
"Fine."
"How was your day after work?"
"Good."
"How was the seminar you attended."
"OK."
"I need you to...."
My solution isn't ideal, since I can't stop him from doing it, but it allows me to "get through the crap" faster. I thought maybe she could help me here, but all she said was:
"Would you get anywhere by talking to him?"
"No," I answered. Evidently if I can't get him to take charge of more vital and important stuff, or to request him to stop speaking to me with so much outrageously disgusting sexual inuendo (aprticularly gay sex inuendo), how could I make him stop feigning interest?
She said nothing, only looked into my eyes meaningfully. Well, that was helpful. I've got myself to that same conclusion, but I was actually expecting an EXPERT to point me in some other direction I may be missing. From here started the two-penny speech of "reality is that most of the people are lazy and/or dumb and you have to deal with it. I can't expect to change them, or force them to adapt to you". In a Chopraesque way she started recalling all those cases in which from a team only the 20-40% work and the rest simply do nothing and reap the benefits. Now, of course I realize that's reality, but it doesn't mean it's okay, or that I must accept it as "the way it is and the way it's okay". Just because that's "reality" it doesn't mean we should let it continue that way and do nothing about it.
So we were locked in this position, she pushing for the lazy to keep parasiting over the hard working, and me pushing the envelop to empower the hard working to shake of the leech shamelessly stealing his reward. Then she came up with a "reason" that really touched a sensitive spot.
"You are very smart, more than average, and you possess yourself a priviledged analytical abitity. That's paired with your pride to do a good job and your drive to do things, your incredible proactivity. You are to like the others, you are part of a suffering minority and you must learn to leave with the average, because the average is bigger and they have all the important contacts."
I was flabbergasted. So, suddenly I'm some sort of genius, which I am not, and just because I'm so fucking smart and so fucking analytical and so fucking hard working (which, really, I'm so not!), I have to put up with assholes expecting me to do their jobs and leaning back, waiting for me to finish things? I have to ACCEPT assholes leaning back and expect me to earn THEIR paychecks? Well, if I do that, I would certainly not be smart at all, now would I?
First of all, lets clear our a few things: I'm smart, I won't deny that, but I'm not smarter. I'm just as smart as the next person. There are a lot of people much smarter than me, an many much less smart than me. I'm not a "gifted analyst", or "priviledged analyst", I just happen to like analize people's behavior. Other people like to draw, sketch, read minds, build, have exceptional sense of perspective, love to analyze and forecast the market. That's what regular people do. It makes us unique, yes, but doesn't make us "priviledged". I've no "incredible proactivity", because if she failed to notice, I'm a reactive type. Balanced A-B leaning towards the B-type personality, a.k.a., I enjoy the ride rather than rushing to the goal. As for the "hardworking" part, bug off. Really, I keep four blogs, do ten thousand things at the same time, write a journal, sometimes indulge in an ocasional Supernatural episode, how's that making me "hardworking"? I'm not a busy little bee, but I do like doing my job, when I have a job to do, and I'm serious about it and I expect people to be serious about it.
So, once stated that I'm just another regular fellow, another Jane Doe in a sea of Jane Does, why can't I expect others to apply themselves and work as hard as I do? If I can take my job seriously, why can't I expect others to do the same? Aren't we all being paid the same? What makes lazy sons of bitches so special that they can procrastinate and watch porn all day at the office while I do their jobs? Because news flash: they were hired for that job because they can do it, so they should.
I agree, you can't expect people to be equally smart. Some people are, some people don't, and that's a matter of capability, but laziness and shamelessness is not a matter of personal capabilities, but a matter of personality flaws, and those should not be accepted, but corrected. Or what? Companies must overlook the loses caused by those who come only to engross the expense bills and collect the paycheck?
I am not accepting this, no matter how "reality" this is.
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