Jun 21, 2010

Bullies and Mobbing S.O.B.'s

Well, we have moved into the new building, finding more dysfunctional stuff, like doors that wail everytime someone opens them without sliding the office ID's (how do you call those?), or if the door doesn't close well after us (which happens with the door of the 16th floor), not to mention dusty stairwells that trigger asthma and allergies like nobody's business and the elevator that's too lazy to go up all the way to the 15th, and so goes up to 14th or sometimes up to 4th and then goes back down.

In case you wonder, I put on a small Art Nouveau poster and a picture of sorts of Lau, Roo and I. The "take a chill pill" picture, one of me favorites, will hopefully become a @mygeekpillow. Let's see how that comes out, though. Work in general is comming around, with people trying to find their place and their way in the new environment, many of us mostly stepping up to defend our "coffee rights". Yeah, "Coffee Rights". We have "food bullies" at the office that want to eliminate every trace of food and eating-in-cubicles out of a whim, really, as no real or decent reasons have been given to us about why should be give up such a rooted habit.

It's amazing, really, how deeply laced mobbying is in the office. I mean, I have an AWESOME boss, as in, really, envy me, my boss is the greatest and my coworkers are amazing, BUT there are amazingly annoying people, who assume powers they don't have to command others around. Not like they are empowered, specially because nobody is empowered for abuse, but they bully people into their will.

Bullies and mobbers are coward people who would never stand up for their words. Why? Well, they never put nothing on written, specially because if they do they would leave a track of their abuse and could be reported. They seek to become powerful, to command and feel they have control over others, feel obeyed by others, and irrational measures are they way to do so.

Often it is difficult to get over them, and sadly for many, letting them get their way doesn't cut you some slack, but eggs them to escalate their bullying. So, the only way is to put a stop to it. My recommendation is to ally against them with the rest of your coworkers and ignore their taunting, eventually facing them if they don't take the "I'm ignoring you because you are just a fly on a window pane". However if you are alone, this is a few things you can do:

1. Document the abuse. I recommend to get an appointment with the office doctor, hopefully get a reference to psychology so that the documenting of the situation has a more "solid", "scientific" prove as well, that will give you all the tools you need for a transfer. Private or Public enterprise, remember that a note on your file of being a bully and an abusive person always looks bad. Oh, and files go everywhere with you.

2. When the bully or the mobber comes and does his or her thing, you must smile, let them speak and then politely request them to put all that in written. You don't move a muscle unless it is on written. If pressure is on, before you do anything, you send on written a message were you detail the whole thing and request IN WRITTEN confirmation if you have it right.

3. Remember that a bully boss or not, is a person just like you and they make mistakes, so don't be intimidated. Always keep your calm. If they start to fight, you keep calm and look into their eyes. If they take too long, look away, check your SMS or something. The bully will probably raise the voice about that. You calmly say that you are waiting for him or her to calm down so you can talk in a civilized matter. ATTENTION: the key word is "civilized". Do not say "human" or "like people". Always speak calmly and evenly. If the shouting concert continues, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. Do not wait for permission, nor stop at any word. You are an adult and you are going to the bathroom. Take at least 10 minutes, which shall suffice to calm down the  banshee at the office.

4. If your bullies are your coworkers, always smile, be nice and bring homemade cookies or brownies. It's nearly impossible to hate someone who brings you food. :-) Always be nice, but if they don't change, talk to your boss and request a transfer from the office. You don't need to win all your battles, but you don't have to suffer other people's bullying.

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