Jan 17, 2012

Rattled and "Starstruck" in a Good Way

I'm shaky. I can't explain - maybe won't - but I'm so shaky right now! No, not too much coke in my system, but I've got... shaky. Topics for posts pile in my paper agenda - ah, the perks of going old school and planning on paper! - but right now none on them are up on my plate for the post at hand.

I received some unsettling information regarding a future plan I have on the cooking (non reasoned, just it seems that I won't get things exactly the way I want them, and sure, that can make me shaky with the fits of my upset control-freak self), but that doesn't mean that my plans - set in motion millions of years ago, nailed into place, hammered into shape - will be altered in the least. I'll fight and claw and tear up and punch if I have to, but I'll get my way. Always have. (Still, I'll be lighting a couple of candles just to make sure things are going smoothly and whatever the conditions, my further plans fall into pace with them.) I keep saying myself "no biggie, we will tackle it", and hope-believe I've the muscle it takes to get things done the way I want them. However - never the less - this is something I didn't need. An extra pound to carry around for this project. Oh well, didn't I say that God doesn't give us more than what we can carry? And haven't I said that it isn't God picking our load but ourselves? So, I bet you I can tackle this thing and still read my mangas and witchy books (I'm into reading witchy books right now).

I've got a message from the past as well. Oh dear, I think thinking of it also adds to the general shaking. When I thought all ties had been severed - though I have never forgot those ties as they were quite a milestone in my life - a small multicolor spark shot up in the air and made the memories real. Do you know the feeling? When a memory is so sweet, of such a fleeting moment in time, that after some years you start wondering if it was actually real or simply a trick of your mind? Well, this spark lit up the memory and brought it back to life. Right now. At yet another life changing point of it.

I'll take it as it looks like: a good sign. Things may look dire, may look obscured, but in real life, what lies beneath - even if facing a period of loss and confusion - is the brightest of all lights and the coolest of all paths. Thanks, my friend, you are a shooting star!

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