The unexpected and unpleasant rumors cristalized. Bummer. Things won't be happening the way I wanted them to, so that means to buckle up and still try and make things work one way or the other. Adjust, settle and "fuck, I guess life isn't all about doing what I want" and "why the fuck do I have to take risks when I'm allergic to them? Can't the rest of the planet fall in line with what I want?". Yeah, the usual. Then again, I was given yesterday a potential solution for my situation, in case of need.
Guess then it's time to put my believes and my faith to the test and see how much I trust God, right? Well, then I'm passing the ball and hoping there are no interceptions! God, please run me a Touchdown! ^_^ I won't lie, the risk, the insecurity is killing my nerves, and I'd rather run across the planes and punch lights out until I get what seems to me as a completely irrational request straightened into what I find more suitable for my needs. Oh well, it could have been plain denied and then I would have to take more drastic measures (no! Not about the punching, you moron!), so maybe it's time to count the blessings and... let God run me the Touchdown. I mean, at least there I can do more than here to shorten the yards. :-) Time to prepare, gear up and get going.
Interestingly enough, I've been wondering around today about that message and the spark it brought. I nearly post about it, except that I caught myself in time, feeling "I've done this already". I have. Wouldn't write that down on a memory that poor, but rather on an event that remarkable. It is. As silly, unbecoming as it may sound, it is indeed a quite remarkable point in my life and a light in my memory. Sign or no sign, it is for sure a reminder, and I'm finding it sweet to revel in reminiscence...
Sweet and Bitter together... life is sometimes a mix that doesn't make a tasteful sense.